hello! I'm so sorry it took forever to update. I have been super busy, but I finally got this chapter completed! Hope you are all staying safe out there, and I hope this story can bring some sort of happiness during these insane and crazy times.
Enjoy the chapter!
Brittany's voice trembled slightly as she finally let out what's been bothering her the past few weeks. She has kept it in, only because she knew that saying it out loud would hurt her, because just hearing herself say it made it sound like it was true. And she was right, because her heart began to ache in a way she hasn't felt in a long time. It was an ache she was all too familiar with, one that she had suffered through when she gave birth to her daughter alone, when she found out that the boy she loved her with her heart had been arrested, when she believed, at one point, that she may never see Alvin ever again. It was an ache that came with loving someone more than a heart can handle, and it pierced her deep.
She had expected her sisters to speak up, or to at least react in some way, because that was what they always did whenever she had problems with Alvin, but they just stayed quiet. Even Eleanor, who was always the first one to stick up for her when it came to Alvin, didn't say anything at all. It looked like they were trying to hold back from speaking up, and Brittany even noticed them glancing at each other for half a second, and it made her feel even more confused.
"Brittany, I...I don't think that's the case," Jeanette said after a moment. "I'm sure it's nothing."
"Nothing?" Brittany asked in disbelief. Alvin is her boyfriend, and the father or her child, so her sisters just didn't understand why she was in so much pain. "Then explain why he's been acting so distant around me, why he's acting as if he's trying to hide something from me, something he doesn't want me to know. Look, I don't want to sound like some psycho paranoid girlfriend, because that's the last thing I'm trying to do. Alvin and I do try and give each other space when we need to, and I really don't want to jump into any conclusions, but he's just not himself at all. It's like...he's avoiding me on purpose."
Jeanette and Eleanor glanced at each other again before looking at Brittany, and their older sister truly looked hurt. It was hard seeing her like this, because they know what she had to go through to get to this point, what her heart had to suffer through before finally finding love in Alvin.
"I'm sure you're just overthinking, Britt," said Jeanette.
"I don't think I am," Brittany replied.
Eleanor sighed to herself, trying her best to keep her lips sealed, but it was truly difficult. "Brittany, do you really think Alvin would do that to you?"
Brittany didn't respond at first, and bit her bottom lip as she looked down. Maybe her sisters were right, maybe she was just overthinking and just worrying a bit too much. Maybe it's because their relationship is still fairly brand new, and they're still trying to heal from everything that had happened a few months ago, or maybe it's because she loves him so much and already had a taste of what it would be like if they lost each other for good, but the way he has been acting lately still doesn't make sense.
"No, I...I guess not," she said.
"Exactly. Alvin loves you too much to even think about hurting you. He's not his old self anymore, and he wouldn't have risked his own life just to mess up and lose you," said Eleanor.
"Yeah. We know Alvin has had his ups and downs, but he would never do anything to jeopardize his relationship with you after working so hard for it. You two went through too much to lose out on what you have together," Jeanette said.
Again, Brittany didn't respond at first, but soon realized that her sisters were right. Sure, hers and Alvin's relationship isn't perfect, but they've gone through way too much for it to just crumble to pieces. And sure, their relationship is still brand new, but they have known each other for over a decade, and they know each other better than anybody else. Brittany knows deep in her heart that Alvin loves her, more than words could ever express, because she felt the exact same way for him, if not, more, but that still doesn't explain why he's been acting the way he has recently.
And it also doesn't explain why her sisters, of all people, were acting a bit suspicious too, as if they also knew something that she didn't, but it was hard to tell. However, Brittany was tired; her heart and mind were heavy, and the past few weeks have been exhausting and draining, and she needed to give herself a damn break. So, she decided to just let it go. For now, at least.
The next few hours dragged on way too slowly, and even though Brittany didn't get any sleep at all last night, she felt wide awake. Physically exhausted, but mentally wide awake; her thoughts kept running and she didn't know how to slow it down. But she kept herself as busy as she could. Luckily her sisters also had the day off, so while they were both playing and taking care of Melody, Brittany spent majority of the next few hours doing laundry, cleaning the living room and organizing her closet. Funny, those were things she used to dread doing, things she used to put off til the last minute. But keeping herself occupied soothed her; ever since she became a mom, she found solace in the littlest things, and it was enough to keep her mind quiet for the time being.
But in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but wonder where the hell he was right now. He left this morning, around 7am, and he still hasn't returned. He hasn't even called.
She told herself that it's probably nothing, like both her sisters said, but her chest continued to ache.
It was now a little past 2pm, and Brittany had just hopped out of the shower. Something to clear her mind again, she figured. She exited the bathroom, and feeling the cool air against the hot steam was incredibly refreshing. She went into her room to blow dry her hair, and after putting on a fresh pair of clothes, she started to make her way back downstairs to her sisters and her daughter. The sound of Melody's angelic laughter caught her ear, and it was truly her favorite sound, but she stopped before she could even reach the last step when she heard someone else's voice.
"Alright, princess, ready? One, two, three!" Alvin's voice came from the living room, only to be followed by Melody's giggles yet again.
Brittany's heart skipped a beat, but she wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing. She slowly made her way to the living room, and stopped at the entrance, and saw Alvin playfully throwing Melody in the air, before gently catching her again. Her sweet baby was laughing non-stop, and the gleam in her eyes as she looked at her father was enough to make Brittany smile a little. Brittany watched from the side for a bit, and felt her worries melt away for just a moment. After falling in her father's arms for the fourth time, Melody unlocked her gaze from Alvin's when she saw Brittany standing a few feet away. Her round cheeks curved into an even bigger smile before reaching a tiny hand towards her mother.
Alvin followed Melody's gaze and looked up, and found Brittany watching them with a soft smile on her face. But there was something off about her, and it made him feel horrible. Alvin looked at her, and he could tell, just by looking at her, that she was almost hesitant to say something to him, that she was hesitant to even approach him. But he understands why. He would've felt the same way.
He knew that she wasn't going to say anything first, especially after the awkward way he left this morning, so he gave her a warm smile to make things feel a little normal between them, because he could sense the tension as well.
"Hey, Britt," he finally said.
"Hi," she answered. "...I didn't know you were here."
"Yeah," he cleared his throat a little. "I arrived about 15 minutes ago, but you were upstairs."
"I was just taking a shower," she shrugged, although, she did find it weird how he came at exactly the right moment when she wasn't available. The thought of it suddenly bothered her, because it was as if he was waiting for her to not be available before coming back. "Where have you been?"
"At home, remember? I told you this morning before I left," he said.
Brittany looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You could've at least told me when you'd be back."
"I was busy."
For some reason, that hurt her a bit. She doesn't know why, exactly. She and Alvin always gave each other space, and enough freedom to do their own thing if they wanted to; it was one of the things they had both agreed on with their relationship. As long as the other is being responsible and faithful to the relationship, then they could do whatever they wanted. Especially for people like Alvin and Brittany, who thrive on going out, partying and hanging out with their friends, it's a healthy choice for their relationship to let each other have their own space, as long as they stick to their word. Usually, she didn't care if Alvin was out doing his own thing or hanging out with his friends or whatever, but he has never gone this long without contacting her; he doesn't even need to tell her where he is, but an update saying what time he'll be back won't kill him, will it?
"For that long?" she asked him.
The tone in her voice almost broke him, and he could barely look at her. It was in that moment when Alvin knew he had to tell her what's been going on, because the guilt was just weighing his shoulders down in a way that hurt him more than it hurt her. He can't stand seeing her like this, he can't stand having her think that there's something wrong between them, and he can't stand pretending and hiding this from her anymore.
"You...you won't get it," said Alvin, but immediately regretted his choice of words when he turned back to her and saw the pain in her eyes once more.
"Right, because that's exactly what our relationship is about. Hiding things from one another," she said, and her voice was bitter.
Alvin sighed to himself. "Brittany, it's not that at all. It's just..." he trailed off, realizing that this was something he had to tell her in depth, face to face. They had promised each other, at the start of their relationship, to be as open with each other as possible, to not keep anything from the other, because it was that exact reason that almost made them lose each other for good, and they definitely did not want to experience that ever again. "...Here, how about we go outside for a bit. Just you and me."
She was about to protest, but shut herself up before anything else. There was a sense of sadness in his face, and Brittany could tell that whatever Alvin was about to tell her, was going to hurt no matter what.
"I...okay, fine," Brittany sighed to herself before forcing a smile as she turned to her daughter. She reached over to press a light kiss on Melody's forehead; her baby was staring up at her with her big, round eyes, as if she could sense her mother's sadness, and it tore Brittany's heart into a trillion pieces.
Alvin then disappeared into the kitchen for a short moment, just to give Melody to Jeanette and Eleanor for the time being, before returning back. He didn't really say much as he approached Brittany, but he gently grabbed her hand and led them outside to the backyard. The weather was cool, and not too sunny, but it was quiet and peaceful. He brought them over to the porch swing, and sat down next to each other. It was quiet between them, which was certainly out of character, and it truly hurt. Brittany felt like she hardly knew him right now.
But Alvin knew her all too well, and the silence between them was killing him. He turned to her, and saw that she wasn't looking at him, but rather straight ahead as if she couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with him. So, without even saying a word, he reached over, and pulled Brittany into an embrace. It took her by surprise, and she hesitated for a moment, but then she felt herself let go of the breath she didn't even realize she was holding, and closed her eyes as she hugged him back.
Again, nothing was said between them, but it conveyed more emotions than words can ever express.
She buried her face into his chest, and let out another sigh. Being next to him always felt so right, but this time, it felt a little off. Her heart was beating like crazy, and she didn't know whether she was able to think straight. But she finally opened up her eyes and found that they were blurry and lined with tears. Alvin pulled away to look at her, and she was almost embarrassed to let him see her like this.
"What's wrong, Britt?" he asked softly.
She couldn't respond.
Alvin sighed to himself. He reached over and tucked a piece of Brittany's hair behind her ear, before tilting her chin up so that she could finally be looking at him. "Talk to me, babe. What's going on?"
There was sincerity and concern in his voice, and it calmed her down just a little. She knows she can talk to him, but there was something inside that was pulling her back, something that made it difficult to speak. Although she and Alvin have had many emotional talks before, it was never a moment like this where for the first time, she was worried about their relationship, and Brittany just didn't want to get hurt again.
Alvin waited for her to speak, but Brittany continued to stay quiet, even though it did look like she was trying her best to find the right words. His heart was breaking, because he knows why she's upset. He knows that he has been distant, and it absolutely hurts to put Brittany through that. But there was a reason, a reason that he was terrified to tell her.
"I should be the one asking you that question," she finally spoke up and she looked right at him. Brittany felt her chest ache; he has always been someone she could talk to, even before they got together, but it hasn't been feeling like that at all lately. "...Because to be honest, I don't know what's going on," she said, and her voice trembled as she looked away again. "All I know is that the past few weeks have been different, Alvin. Like, things have been weird between us and I know you can feel it too."
The tone in her voice was gentle, but held back, and he could feel the heartache in her voice. But he said nothing, but nodded to acknowledge the fact that he agreed, before allowing her to continue on.
"I've tried to tell myself that I'm just overthinking, that I could just be paranoid or whatever, but...something tells me that I'm not," she said, and her eyes were glossy. "I feel like you've been distant from me lately. We have never been like this, even before we got together, and it just feels...off. Things felt like it changed overnight. One day, you and I were spending every waking moment together, and everything was so great, but when the next day came, it all just...stopped."
Alvin felt his heart fucking break. Of course, he knew that Brittany was hurt, and it was never his intention to put her in pain, because he has an actual genuine reason why he's been acting a little distant over the past few weeks. But damn, he didn't realize how badly it would hurt her, and he promised himself that he would never be the one to hurt her ever again, not after what he put her through the past year.
"We can barely hold a conversation without you looking at your phone every two minutes, and you're always walking out of the room, as if you're hiding something from me. Like, a few weeks ago, you didn't even pick up my phone calls, when all I wanted to know was what time you were coming to see me and Melody. And this morning, you left without even saying much to me at all. I just...feel like I'm losing you all over again," she said, and her voice shattered at the end. A part of her, the tiniest part, felt relieved for finally getting it off her chest, but it also felt fucking painful.
Alvin gulped silently. The agony in Brittany's eyes was too much for him to handle, and he just wanted to pull her close and kiss her and tell her that there was nothing wrong, that she did absolutely nothing wrong, and he so badly wanted to tell her what he's been up to, why he's been acting the way he has, but he knew he had to slowly ease into it.
It was quiet between them for the longest time, and it made both of them feel uncomfortable. But Brittany finally found the courage to look at him again, and her heart was beating fast against her chest. "I...I just want you to be open with me, Alvin. I know we just started dating and whatever, but we've known each other for over a decade, and I thought we were able to talk about anything. I mean, if I did something wrong, or if you're starting to get bored of all this, then-"
"Wait, hold on, stop, Britt," Alvin cut her off, and looked at her. He was truly shocked to hear those words come out of her mouth, and it fucking destroyed him to know that she had been thinking this way. "Is that seriously what you think? That you did something wrong? That I'm bored of our relationship?"
"Well, I-"
"Brittany, you haven't done anything wrong at all, I swear. I mean, look at you, Britt. You're fucking perfect," he told her. "And I'm not bored of you, or our relationship, or anything else, so please don't think that at all. I love you, so fucking much, more than ever."
"...You do?"
Alvin paused for a moment, truly confused at the tone in her voice. "...Yeah? Of course I do," he said, as if he had just answered the easiest question in the entire world. "Why...why do you seem so doubtful?"
She sighed to herself, and turned to the ground for a moment. Every beat in her chest felt heavier and heavier. "I'm not doubting anything, I promise. It's just...it feels good to hear, because I thought...I-I..."
"Brittany," he tilted her chin up with his finger.
Her eyes met his, and she swore, she almost burst into tears. The type of pain she was feeling, was the same type of pain she had every time she looked into her daughter's eyes when she had believed she may never see Alvin again, when she believed that her daughter may never get to meet her own father. "I thought, for the longest time, because you've been so distant and you've been on your phone so much lately, that...that you've been cheating on me."
And in that moment, silence fell and shock took over. Alvin froze, because that was definitely not what he had expected to hear from her, and it truly, truly appalled him to no end. His eyes grew wide, and the expression on his face said it all. "Wait, what?" he asked. "You think that I've been cheating on you?"
There was something about the tone in his voice that frightened her, something that she has never heard in him before. "Alvin, I-"
"No, hold up," he cut her off. "You gotta be joking, right? You actually think that I've been cheating on you? Seriously?"
Brittany looked at him, and he looked hurt and he sounded annoyed, which honestly started to annoy her even more. "Well, what the fuck else would I think, Alvin? You've been so damn distant from me, you're always on your goddamn phone, and not that this matters or anything, but you didn't even want to have sex last night! Am I supposed to assume anything else, especially since everything was so great between us before that? Look, I didn't mean to offend you or whatever, but I'm hurt too!"
Alvin looked at her, and realized that she was right. Of course, he was downright pissed and upset that she would assume he was cheating on her, that he was even capable of hurting her, that he was capable of jeopardizing their relationship after going through hell and back just to be with each other. But Brittany had a point; if it had been the other way around, and if Brittany had been acting the same way he did over the past month, he probably would've assumed the same thing. But he was fucking hurt that that was the first thing she assumed.
"Maybe you should've talked to me instead of assume that I've been cheating, which I'm not, by the way, if I even have to mention that. I mean, what the fuck, Brittany?" he fired.
"What? What the hell are you being so pissed off for? How the fuck was I supposed to talk to you when you were acting all weird and distant? God, Alvin, you have the nerve to be mad at me, when you were the one acting that way in the first place?" she exclaimed, and she was so damn hurt.
Alvin was about to fire back, but the sound of her voice rang in his ear, so he held himself back. She was right, but she was also hurt. He looked at her and the pain in her eyes ruined him, because it was the same pain he had when he thought he was going to lose her, when he thought he was going to lose his entire family. Yes, he was a little annoyed, and extremely hurt, but Brittany was probably feeling it even worse, and he promised, even before they revealed their feelings for each other, that he was never going to let anything hurt her again. And he wasn't going to go back on his word.
"I...you're right. I'm sorry," he said with his whole heart, and took a deep sigh. "I don't want us to fight, Britt. And I get why you're pissed, and I understand. But I want you to know that I am not cheating on you. I would never do that to you, ever. I'm actually shocked that you would even think that, because I thought you knew how much I fucking love you."
The weight of his words were intense, but the pain and burden that had lived on Brittany's shoulders for the past month immediately disappeared after hearing them. Of course, she knows how he feels about her, because she feels the exact same way.
"I do know," she said quietly. "Which is why it had hurt me even more, because I just didn't get why things were suddenly so weird between us."
He nodded. "No, I get it. I never wanted you to get upset, Britt. I'm sorry."
She sighed to herself. No matter how she wanted to hate him, how much she wanted to be angry, she couldn't find it in herself to do so. Because she loves him so much, way too much, that seeing him like this hurt her more than he would ever know. Apologizing and admitting that she was at fault has always been difficult for her, because she was the type of person who always needed to be correct. Alvin was the exact same way, and their egos and pride always clashed in the past. But now that they're together, and now that they are beyond the level of friends that they were as they grew up, apologizing and admitting that they are wrong was the easiest thing in the world, because it took part of the pain away.
"It's okay," she said quietly. "...It's not just you. I'm also sorry. I don't want you to think that I was questioning our relationship in any way when I thought you were cheating, because that wasn't what I was trying to do."
"I know," he answered. "But I hope you know that I would never, in a million years, hurt you like that. Never again."
There was a tone of sympathy and warmth in his voice, and it made Brittany smile a little, the first genuine smile she's had in a few weeks. "I know."
"'Kay, good," he chuckled a little and sighed. "Man, relationships aren't easy, huh."
Brittany laughed and rolled her eyes. "I never said it was going to be easy, especially between you and I. But I'm glad we could talk it out without arguing and going at each other's throats. That's a first, isn't it."
"Yeah. We've come a long way," said Alvin.
"Ugh, I know. A really long way," she scoffed. "How the hell are we not sick of each other yet? I feel like I've known you forever, Seville."
Alvin let out a laugh and shook his head to himself. "C'mere," he said, before cupping her chin so that he could lean in and kiss her. However, Brittany stopped him by putting two fingers against his lips to prevent him from getting any closer, and Alvin raised an eyebrow and frowned.
"Not so fast," she said and her eyebrows furrowed. "I still think you owe me an explanation about what's been going on the past few weeks."
He sighed to himself and bit his bottom lip, but he knew he had to tell her regardless. It was bound to happen eventually, and he has been dreading it, but he knew it was time to tell her. He was just afraid of how she was going to react.
"You're right," he said. He sighed again and leaned back in his seat, before looking right at her. "...I have been a little distant from you, but I had a reason. I swear, I wasn't trying to keep anything from you, because I was going to tell you eventually, but I just didn't know when to tell you. But I promise, it isn't anything bad, just...complicated. But please, before you jump into any conclusions, please hear me out," he started.
Brittany wasn't too sure what he meant, nor was she sure whether or not to feel nervous, but she stayed silent and nodded her head.
Alvin paused for a moment, before finally continuing. "Uh, so a few weeks ago, Eleanor, Jeanette and I were talking about you, and how damn incredible you are at being a mom to our daughter. Really, Brittany, Melody is so lucky to have you as her mom, and I'm fucking grateful to have you by my side as we raise our daughter together, because without you, I wouldn't have known what to do. Being a parent just comes so naturally to you, and I can tell that you love it more than anything."
She smiled. The sound of her daughter's name always made her feel so warm. "I really do. I mean, it isn't hard when you love your child more than anything in the entire world."
"I know. We really have the best kid, don't we," he smiled a little, before clearing his throat. "But, uh, anyway, your sisters and I were talking, and we were just talking about how you've changed over the past year, in a good way, of course. But then we were kinda wondering how you learned to become such a good parent almost out of nowhere, because of the way you were so different last year. I mean, I love you and everything, Britt, but you certainly weren't cut out to be a parent before you got pregnant. I wasn't either."
Brittany raised an eyebrow just a little, but Alvin was right. Before she got pregnant, all she wanted to do was party, hang out with her friends, drink and avoid all responsibilities. Even during her first few months of pregnancy, she wasn't even sure she wanted the baby, at the time, because she was absolutely not ready for a child to change every aspect of her life.
"I agree," she shrugged. "Um, where exactly are you going with this?"
"I'm getting there," Alvin started to feel a little nervous, but he knew he had to keep going. But goddamn, jumping off a building sounded pretty good right about now. He took a deep breath, and continued. "Anyway, we were wondering where all this love for motherhood came from all of a sudden, and it didn't really make any sense to me, until um, your sisters mentioned..."
Brittany looked at him in confusion when he trailed off. He was acting weird, and she's never seen him like this before. "What?"
"...Your own mom," Alvin said finally. "Miss Miller."
Brittany felt herself freeze because that was the last thing she would've ever expected, and it truly shocked her to her core. A moment passed but there was silence, nothing but silence. The sound of her estranged, deadbeat mother's name always made her blood boil, and today was no exception. She looked directly at Alvin, and waited for him to speak up, but he said nothing.
"...What about her?" asked Brittany, and there was a new edge to her voice.
Alvin could tell, because he knows her so damn well, that she was starting to get annoyed, and it honestly terrified him to keep going. "...Well, Jeanette and Eleanor told me that they believe the reason you love being a mom so much is because of what you had gone through when you were younger, the lack of motherhood that you had missed out on. Because you know how it feels to not have a motherly figure. Because you've gone through so much pain while growing up, that you don't want that happening to our daughter, because you love our daughter so much that she would never feel, even an ounce of what you felt, your mom walked out on you."
Brittany was quiet, and she even surprised herself. Every time someone brought up her estranged mother, Brittany would literally walk straight out of the room, because it always made her so mad, angry beyond words. But for the first time, she stayed and listened, and it pained her to the fucking pit of her stomach.
"I know what Miss Miller did to you, Brittany. And I know it hurts. But that's why you're so good at being a mom, because the love that you missed out on, is the love that you've given not only Melody, but parenthood in general," said Alvin.
"Wait, wait, wait. The reason why I'm such a good parent is because I just am, because I love my baby more than anything. This has nothing to do with that woman. She didn't teach me how to become a parent, I taught myself. All she did was walk out, and leave," she fired, and her heart was racing a little faster, however, she knew deep inside that Alvin was right. But it truly hurt to admit that to herself. "Why...why are you even telling me this, Alvin?"
"Because..." Alvin sighed deeply. "Because I know it still hurts you. Even though it has almost been 10 year since your mom walked out on you, I can tell that it still affects you. And I know you want to deny it as much as possible, but you know it's true, Brittany. There's something missing inside you for years, and you know exactly what I'm talking about, right?"
She continued to look at him, still hurt, still speechless. She didn't understand what the hell he was trying to say.
He took another deep breath to himself, as if bracing himself for whatever was coming next. "So, after speaking to your sisters, I decided to do something. And I don't want you to think I did this behind your back for a bad reason, but I did it because I love you, because I don't want you to have this grudge in you forever," he said, and he paused again, and he looked at her, even though a part of him was terrified to. "But I, uh...contacted Miss Miller."
Brittany's eyes grew wide, and she felt her entire body grow ice cold, even though the anger inside her was boiling hot. Did she seriously just hear correctly? Was he serious? Brittany waited a moment, in case Alvin was just kidding, but the bastard stayed silent, and Brittany grew angrier.
"You did WHAT?"
Alvin flinched a little, but he had expected her to react this way. "Look, before you get mad, just listen t-"
"No, you listen to me. What the fuck, Alvin? Why the hell would you do that? Like, are you fucking serious right now? What made you think that I would ever want to talk to that woman again? After 10 years?" Brittany fired.
He sighed deeply. It truly pained him to see her so upset, but he knew he was doing this for a good reason. "Well, look at how you're acting right now, Brittany! You get upset every time someone mentions Miss Miller. I know you hate talking about her. Trust me, I remember the day Dave found you and your sisters crying at home when Miss Miller left, and I will never forget that day, and I know you won't either. But I know you more than you think, especially now, and I know it still hurts you. I just want you to be able to speak about her without feeling like this, without thinking back to what happened 10 years ago. I think it's time for things to get better, don't you want that?"
She looked at him in disbelief. "No, because that's not your choice to make!"
"I know it isn't, but you wouldn't have made that choice on your own," he said. "I'm only trying to help, Brittany."
She scoffed and said, "Help? Please. Honestly, I felt a whole lot better when I thought you were cheating on me, compared to this!"
He so badly wanted to roll his eyes, because she was being incredibly irrational, but he knew better than to piss her off even more. "Babe, I just wanted-"
"Why now, Alvin?" she snapped at him, immediately cutting him off. She has never been so furious in her life. "I don't want anything to do with that woman, and you, of all people, should know that. That shit happened 10 years ago, and I grew up just fine without her. So why now?"
There was anger and hell in both her eyes and her voice, but there was also agony and misery, as if it had just opened an old wound full of horrible memories. Brittany never liked talking about her estranged mother, but Alvin was absolutely correct. When her mom abandoned her and her sisters, it really messed up not only her childhood, but her life in general. She felt empty and miserable for the longest time, and it was so painful that it almost felt numb. It fucked her up so badly, in way she will never forgive Miss Miller for, for the rest of her damn life.
And that same pain, the one she had pushed to the side for a decade, the pain that has always been there, came rushing back the moment Alvin answered her question.
"Because of Melody."
The sound of her baby girl's name immediately struck a heavy chord in her heart, and the anguish in her heart burned even deeper. It was as if all the anger was instantly replaced by a distant, familiar and deep memory of pain and trauma.
Alvin reached over and laced one of his hands through one of hers, although she barely moved on responded to his touch. "...Because you're a mom yourself, and you understand how it feels to love your child so much. Even though Miss Miller did what she did, she still loved you and your sisters a lot, I know she did. And you went through so much shit growing up, especially without her around, so I know you would never imagine that type of pain upon our daughter."
"But I would also never abandon my child, let alone three young girls, the way she did," said Brittany, and her voice shattered just slightly. The wall she had built, the wall she hid behind the past 10 years that allowed her to seem heartless, bold and unbothered by her own mother, came crumbling down within seconds, and Brittany felt the immense, blood curling, stabbing pain in her heart for the first time in a decade, the same pain that followed her to sleep the night after her mother left.
"Well, things happen for a reason. If it weren't for Miss Miller leaving, I don't think any of this would be happening between us right now," said Alvin.
Brittany looked at him, and her eyes were filled with tears. In a way, he was right. Because Miss Miller had left her and her sisters when they were so young, it forced Brittany to grow and mature quicker than most girls her age, and because she was so busy raising her little sisters, she missed out on her teen years, the years that would've been spent hanging at the mall and movies with her friends. But because of that, Brittany turned to partying and drinking, the moment she turned 18, to fulfill what she missed out on in her early high school years. Because of that, she became an irresponsible and tipsy mess who loved partying more than anything, which had caused her to go to that one party over a year ago, where she had drunk sex with Alvin, became pregnant, fell in love, and had the most perfect little baby in the world.
Things happen for a reason, he was absolutely right about that. And even though what she had gone through was heartbreaking and traumatic, there was always a silver lining.
He was her silver lining.
And it was in that moment when she realized that he really was doing this because he loved her so much. And yes, she was angry and furious and everything else in between, but she understood why, because she probably would've done the same thing for him, to get him out of any sort of inner trauma, because she loves him so damn much.
She sighed to herself and looked away. "I just...I just wished you would've told me straight to my face, instead of keeping it away from me, Alvin. I understand why, but when it comes to this type of stuff, I need to know."
"I know, babe, and I'm sorry. I really am. But I had to keep a little distance, because we're around each other pretty much every single day, and there was no way for me to contact Miss Miller without me keeping some space between us," he said, before he cleared his throat a little. "That was why I was always on my phone so much, why I was always walking out of the room every time I got a call or text message, because I, um, well, I found her."
"...You did?" she asked, and it was almost enough to make her knees weak for a reason she couldn't exactly understand.
"Yeah. I've spoken to her a few times too," said Alvin. "Your sisters have actually spoken to her as well."
"Wait, what? They knew about this time entire time?" she asked. No wonder her sisters were so hesitant when she told them she thought Alvin was cheating, because they knew what was going on the whole time.
Alvin nodded. "Yeah. I actually asked Jeanette and Eleanor for permission before I decided to go look for Miss Miller, because I didn't want to hurt them either. Because if they weren't okay with it, I knew you wouldn't be either. But your sisters gave me the okay to do it, because even though they're hurt just as you, they know it's time to find closure, after all these years."
Brittany's heart was aching because it all felt so surreal. Just knowing that her two sisters had recently spoken to their own mother, the lady that left all of them, after all these years, burned so dark and sweetly at the same time. "How did it go with them?"
"It was fine, actually," said Alvin. "Of course, your sisters were emotional as well, but they were all happy to talk to each other. It all felt like a normal conversation, as if they all saw each other yesterday."
"How did you find her?" Brittany asked him.
"Facebook, phone numbers, everything else in between," he shrugged. "It was kinda difficult to track her down, and it was a lengthy process, but I finally found her."
"Does she still live in California?" asked Brittany.
Alvin shook his head. "No, which is why I was surprised when I actually found her. She even sounded really excited when we spoke on the phone. I'm surprised that she still remembers me, after so long."
"Well, it is hard to forget someone like you, especially since she has known you since you were a kid," Brittany laughed a little, before pausing and biting down on her bottom lip, a little nervous. "Does she know about us?"
"Well, no," he answered.
"Oh," she said. She wasn't quite sure why, but his answer sort of disappointed her. "...Did she ask about me at all?"
"Of course she did," Alvin smiled a little when he saw the sudden, subtle gleam in her eyes. "All she could talk about was you, Brittany."
Her heart felt so heavy when she heard that, with emotions she hasn't felt in such a long time. There was a mixture of pain, sadness, anger, hatred, longing and nostalgia bubbling inside of her, but the tiniest of smiles appeared on her face. "Really? What did you tell her?"
"Not much," he answered truthfully.
"...What? Why?"
He sighed. There was something in Brittany's voice that he has never heard before, a sense of longing, a sense of acceptance and getting over a decade's worth of pain, and he was truly so happy to see her slowly tear that defensive wall down. "Because I think it would be better if it all came from you."
"What...what does that mean?"
"I mean," he started. "...she wanted me to ask you if you wanted to meet up, just you two. She really wants to see you, Brittany."
Her eyes widened ever so slightly, and she almost felt speechless. She honestly didn't know what to feel, or how to react. On any other given day, the mention of her mother would've made her upset and angry, but now, especially after finding out that her own two sisters have spoken to Miss Miller recently, the usual twinge of hatred was now replaced by an overbearing ache of yearn and sadness.
"She does?" she asked.
Alvin nodded. "More than anything."
Brittany sat for a moment, lost in her thoughts. But she sighed and scoffed to herself. "But after all this time, though? After everything that she put me, Jeanette and Eleanor through? I just...I don't think I'm ready to see her."
"I get it, but will you ever be ready?" he asked carefully. "Because it's never too late to start all over again. I mean, look at you and I. We've known each other since we were kids, grew up hating each other, even spent a few years ignoring and not talking to each other, but look at us now, Brittany. I know you becoming pregnant all of a sudden had a big part in us getting together, but I also feel that we would've ended up together regardless, because we gave each other a chance. That's all you need to do with Miss Miller as well, give her a chance to start over with you."
Brittany, again, didn't know what to say, but his words made her chest feel so full. He was right; everything that had happened, happened a decade ago, and even though it still burns to think back about what Miss Miller had done, maybe it was time to give her a chance and to start fresh. Time heals all wounds, and maybe, just maybe, her estranged mother had a reason behind what she did, and Brittany was truly curious if there was.
"I know, but it isn't that easy," she said. Her voice was gentle, but broken.
Alvin nodded. "I know it isn't, but I don't think Miss Miller is expecting you to forgive her or to act as if everything is normal, or anything like that. She just wants to meet up with you, and talk, if that's okay with you. Besides, it would be great if Melody could meet her grandmother one day."
"Does she know about Melody?" asked Brittany.
Alvin shook his head. "No, I didn't tell her anything. I think she would like it more if it all came from you."
Brittany looked at him, and she swore, she almost teared up because she knew Alvin was doing this because he loved her so much, and she even wondered what she did to deserve someone who loved and cared about her this much. Yes, she's hurt and bitter, and yes, the memories of Miss Miller leaving her still traumatizes her to this day, but Alvin was right - she needed to give her mother a second chance. As a mother herself, she understands, and she knows, because there is absolutely nothing on this damn planet that she wouldn't do for her child.
She was just filled with so many emotions, but none of that compared to the way her heart was overflowing with love for him. So, before she could even say anything else, she leaned in and kissed him, and it caught Alvin off guard. But the kiss was soft and gentle, and filled with every level of love a person could ever feel.
Alvin looked at her when she pulled away. "What was that about?" he chuckled.
"I just love you, that's all," she told him wholeheartedly. "What did I ever do to deserve you, Alvin?"
He smiled before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear again. "Well, you're an amazing mom to our little girl, and you're someone who has stuck by my side, even at my worst. Just thought I'd return the favor."
She laughed a little. "How generous of you."
"I know," he teased. "I love you, Brittany."
"I love you more."
"Not possible," he smirked before pressing a kiss on her forehead. "So? What's it gonna be?"
She exhaled deeply, and looked at him, and the gaze in her eyes was so deep. "Yes."
"Wait, what?"
"Yes," she said again. "I'd like to meet up with her, with Miss Miller."
And that was the first time, in a decade, where saying her mother's name out loud made her feel warm, made her feel at home, and made her feel as if Miss Miller was tucking her into bed one last time as a young girl. And she hoped, she truly hoped, that this wouldn't be the last time she would feel this way.
they truly love each other. ahh, my heart!
So, what do you think will happen next, now that Brittany has agreed to meet Miss Miller for the first time in a decade?
Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing this story so far. I love writing more than anything, so it means so much that a lot of you guys enjoy this story. Can't wait to read some feedback so please review! Lets hit 1320 - 1325 reviews before the next chapter!
See you all in the next one!
