*Violet's POV*
I had to remind myself to breathe. We had agreed that it would just be the four of us. I had been sure of it. Why were Happy and Natsu here? I took a step back, shrinking away from the doorway that would lead me back to the others. Back to him.
I did my best to quel my rising panic, trying to distract myself by securing a read on the others. Confused, some concerned, hovering on the border of annoyance. They hadn't known he would be coming either.
It was Grey who spoke first.
"What do you think you're doing here?" I knew that the two of them weren't exactly best friends, but I had never heard Grey so hostile before. Not even toward me. It sent a shiver down my spine to think that the first time I'd heard him truly angry was because of one of his real guild mates, and not me.
It was Happy that answered, "The master sent us here."
It wasn't a lie, but he had said it defensively, as though there was something to be guilty about. Perhaps the cat did have some idea of the consequences of coming near me.
I tried to get a read on Natsu, figure out what his thoughts were, but everything was overshadowed by one emotion, one drive. Determination was drowning out everything else. He wanted to come. For him, the master's blessing was just an added bonus. Definitely not good for me.
"Do you have any idea what she's like now?" Grey asked. He was still opposed to the idea, but the mention of the master had caused much of his resolve to crumble. He trusted the old man too much.
Lucy was torn. She knew I didn't like it. But she trusted Natsu. In her mind there was no reason to fear him. Despite her good nature, or maybe even because of it, I knew she would not be coming to my aid.
"Gramps told me to come." Natsu said, "So I'm coming."
Immediately I felt Erza being won over. If she was on board then I was screwed. It was over.
"You can't just come storming in here with out-"
"Grey," Erza said. He stopped talking immediately. "The master knows what he's doing. If he sent Natsu then he had a reason."
Grey let out a deep breath, then felt silent. And so my last defender had fallen.
I sank to the floor.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Lucy asked.
My silver tongue told me she didn't plan to fight it. She was only asking to calm her own anxieties.
"I got along with her just fine before." Natsu said. "Why not now?"
That comment made everyone uneasy, most of all me. Everything before had been a lie. He hadn't gotten along with me. He had been friends with the idea of me. The idea of a girl who wanted to join Fairy tail because she had nowhere else to run. That's why they had all liked me in the first place. Because on that basis, we were the same.
But it was all a lie.
I hadn't come to the guild in search of refuge. I had come to destroy it. I had done more than betray them when I attacked Natsu. I had shattered the entire idea of the guild, tainted it at its most sacred of levels. And it didn't matter how many mercy games Natsu and the others played. What I did could never be fixed.
"You haven't seen her since she came back." Lucy said, almost whispering now. "She was reserved before but now…"
"And I know it's going to be worse with you here." Grey jumped in.
I wanted to tell myself that wasn't true. I wasn't stupid enough to think that any of them were going to lay a hand on me, not even Natsu. Not while I was under the master's protection. Not while I still bore their guild mark.
They would not physically harm me.
I knew that.
But my body remembered the injuries that it had only just been healed of. My weight shifted from side to side on it's own, preparing to kill. Or run. Or both. As if it knew that the fists which had hurt it were waiting on the other side of that wall.
I couldn't help but tremble.
But it wasn't just my body that remembered Natsu. Though it currently enhanced the experience. I could still feel the heat on my face, knowing that with one wrong move it would be the last thing I felt. My back acted as though it could still feel the way it pressed into the tree bark when he sent me sprawling back. I could hear the snap of breaking bones in my arm. And the way my heart sank when I realized for the first time in my life. I am going to lose. And then, another thought, somehow less terrifying but no less final. I am going to die here.
But even then I knew. Of all the places to die, perhaps that forest wouldn't have been the worst. I had lived a life of adventure. A life worth of fear and awe. I had killed ninety nine people. I had saved them from this life. And now it was simply my turn. So why not there, in that forest? Why not at the hands of someone I had betrayed? Someone as powerful as he, who had been my first defeat. It was right. It was just. I was being freed.
That's what they had told me.
And then it was ripped away. The promise of death was pulled back as the mask left my face. Leaving only humiliation. A stirring in my heart that was deeper than the shame. Something new. A weakness that I had felt in others but never in myself.
All that power. The fire of battle, suddenly smothered, and with what I had no idea. My target looked down at me, and did not flinch away. I had failed to kill him. He had chosen to let me live.
That was why I feared Natsu Dragneel.
Not because he could kill me. Not because he almost did. But because I knew he wouldn't. Even if I deserved it. And after two days of avoiding him. My game of hide and seek had come to an end. Ready or not, he was coming for me, even if he didn't know it.
"I won't try to talk to her if she doesn't want to talk to me." Natsu said. "It'll be like I'm not even there."
All parties knew that wasn't good enough. But we also knew it didn't matter. Several heart beats passed before Lucy spoke up.
"I'll go tell Violet."
I prepared myself for her presence, trying to close my heart in an attempt to keep my face under control. My brain pulled up memories that I had not conquered. The feeling of her gentle fingers at the nape of my neck. They way she smiled and resisted the urge to flinch away. I pushed them down. Lucy was not my friend.
At first she walked right past me, probably assuming I would be at the table. I said nothing as she turned in a full circle around the room, and trained my eyes on the floor as soon as she came to face me.
She walked closer and crouched at my side. Her face would have been less than a foot for mine if I attempted to look up. "We're gonna head out now."
Her breath smelled like strawberries.
I closed my eyes, hoping she took it for an indication that I had heard her, and tried to remember how to speak.
"Okay."
But I couldn't force myself to stand.
"Before you go in there," she said, "you should know."
"I already do." I said.
She blinked, then, "Right."
She knew I would have been able to hear them from the other room. A normal person would have made themselves known. Perhaps that's what I should have done.
"I know this must be hard for you." she said, "but he'll stay away. If he doesn't, Grey and Erza will kill him."
My stomach twisted at the word choice.
Immediately she realized her mistake, but she didn't back down. "Besides, it's only a few minutes from here to the train station, and then he'll be practically useless all the way to Hargeon."
The joke itself fell flat, but her effort reassured me. I gave a little nod and got to my feet, taking comfort in the feeling of the hidden weapons shifting under my borrowed clothing.
Lucy led the way out of the room, checking over her shoulder more often than was necessary, I followed, keeping my eyes on the floor. I knew they would be looking at me, but my head was too full of noise to hear what they were feeling.
The only way to get out of this would be to get it over with. And that's what I was going to have to do.
