Eyes that see into Infinity

Chapter Forty-Eight

Part Four

/

Hephaistion had another purpose as my right hand man, a more objective one. He wasn't just my guide light. He used to inform my enemies when he'd leave on his diplomatic missions to discuss peace before bloodshed. He'd warn them about who they were about to step into battle with and he had to do it as desirably as possible. He'd get to know the enemy and the people under the enemy on a personal and professional level and he'd use what they valued most to his advantage. Our advantage. He'd tell them that I was a peaceful and loving king and they'd laugh. He'd tell them that I didn't want to fight and that's a true statement. I didn't want to fight but by the fucking gods was I good at it. I wouldn't be considered great if everyone surrendered instead of challenged me. That's not how ancient myths work. No one would have heard of me if not for what I overcame. But they argued and debated and Hephaistion heard them out. They thought I was just a mere child, born with power. They thought I was stupid with dumb-luck at my side. Without a doubt, there were many open to the idea that I was a false king. Without a doubt, Hephaistion knew there were men out there stronger, more powerful and with more experience but none were as resilient. More men surrendered to me rather than fought because Hephaistion had a way with words. He had a way of letting these men know that their families would either bury them or be buried. Hephaistion, though making the threats, was never fond of that part because he had more compassion than any man during those times. I've always told him he was born in the wrong era. His heart was too big in a world where men knew not of them. Families were executing the same blood for thrones and status, friends betraying each other out of jealousy, animals were sacrificed needlessly, lesser people were called barbarians and savages because we couldn't comprehend decency and though we were products of our time, Hephaistion seemed to know how rotten a product we really were. He didn't understand any of it. He recognized right from wrong even though nothing seemed right and nothing felt wrong. What I did was necessary and Hephaistion knew that but couldn't figure out why he felt differently than the rest of the world. He had the common sense to know that conquering lands and massacring tribes wasn't right, that there was always another alternative. So it was any wonder he loved me. When he spoke on my behalf, truly Hephaistion was trying to save as many lives as he could. And he saved more lives than I could dream to take. He understood my rage more than anyone who had been killed by it. No one wanted to come face to face with me and Hephaistion is the only reason why I haven't set the world, I wanted so badly, ablaze.

/

The blue eyed general enters the kings quarters. Alexander scans tiredly over the reports from other missions. He hates this part and would normally hand it to Hephaistion to read but Hephaistion doesn't seem to be in a reading mood. Alexander stands and comes to his friend. Always happy to see him.

I'm happy your back. How are you? Alexander cups his face.

I'm fine, Alexander. The general removes his hands, in no mood for affection.

The king frowns sensing something wrong. You don't seem to be fine or even happy to see me. Did something go wrong?

They didn't take it well. They still want war. Says Hephaistion as if he failed his mission.

Alexander's happiness fades. He knows how Hephaistion feels about giving news like that. The king nods and goes back to go sit. Does it trouble you?

They're good people, Alexander.

Obviously not good enough if they're willing to die. By not complying they signed their own lives away. Remember that. Alexander looks back at his work.

The people are ruled by greedy and stupid men. They have no choice.

Everyone has a choice.

So do you.

The blonde king scoffs heatedly. What is that supposed to mean? You treat me like I just can't wait until they deny me.

That's not true.

You're looking at me right now as if I love murdering people.

You don't listen to me! Shouts Hephaistion and Alexander calmly dismisses the guards by calling out to them.

Alexander continues once they're left in private. I do listen to you. I have proof. All of those people still amongst the living, after their disobedience's, including our own men, that's all you. I listened when you told me that they deserve life though I felt differently and still do.

You just proved my last point.

I don't love murdering people, Hephaistion. It's something that we have to do. The king justifies with an easy going chuckle. What's wrong with you? Something else is on your mind and you're taking it out on me.

Hephaistion says nothing but by his clenched jaw he wants to say a lot.

Alexander sighs, realizing what he had just done. I don't want to fight with you, Hephaistion. You're the last person I want to fight with.

I know. You save all of your fighting power for battles.

Alexander leans back in his chair, with arms folded across his chest. He glares at the man glaring back. I fight to keep our people safe. I fight to make sure that we're not challenged ever again. I fight to make sure no one takes from us what's ours. I fight to make sure no one takes you. From me. That's why I fight. You know this.

Nothing is truly ours. Nothing. Not when we take it.

Is that how you feel? Have I, so evil, taken you, Hephaistion? Would you rather be somewhere else because if you feel I have somehow kept you here against your will, I will set you free. I would never make you feel like a hostage in your own kingdom. The world is yours. You can go anywhere you want to go.

Oh please, you're to paranoid to let me go anywhere other than where you assign me. Stop pretending to be a just and loyal king, Alexander. I see right through your horseshit. You sit there and smile and pretend to be understanding when really you don't care what anyone else thinks or believes.

Alexander sighs patiently as if this wasn't their first fight like this. Do I burden you, Hephaistion?

With your unnecessary recklessness, yes, you put me and your men in harms way. Hephaistion begins to pace in frustration.

I'm sorry. I won't do it again. You are a free man, Hephaistion. Maybe it will do you some good to take a break from me, though you have plenty of days without me when I send you on missions that take up months.

It's not always about you and I, Alexander. Hephaistion stops in his steps and scolds him.

Then what is it about? What do you want? And I will give it to you.

I want to go far from here. Just you and I. I don't think you know the real you but I've seen him and you would fall in love with yourself. But you can only see who you are if you leave with me. The general finally breaks down. Please, come with me.

The king nods but he isn't going anywhere. We adapt, Phai. This is who I am. I can't change because I lived no other life, no other way. The gods brought this on me for a reason.

Please! Hephaistion is desperate for them to escape.

I'm sorry, Love. That isn't my destiny.

Hephaistion bows his head in sadness and defeat.

Alexander feels regret and continues on the previous conversation before they grow more into their feelings. Everything is taken. Including our souls. I will replace you if these missions are beginning to grow difficult for you. Perdicas can be a good replacement. He's logical and can assure people in numbers.

Yes, but he's not going to save lives. What good is a world if we have no people to unite? We instigate death.

No, we control it. I've told you, you can't get personal with these people who want us dead. I know how warmhearted you are and I love that about you. You would have never given me the time or day without a heart as tender as yours. It's easy to look into an innocent child's eyes and feel guilt. It's easy to look at wailing women who know their husbands are about to die and be saddened. What's not easy is knowing that I'm going to responsible for their deaths and having to live with it. You tried, Hephaistion, and you couldn't have tried any harder. But we can't sit here and try to relate. The only thing all people relate with is death and whatever it is beyond the grave. Only there can we settle our differences when no more blood can be shed.

Alexander waits as his lover fights back tears.

Have I ever told that I hate the color red. It looks great on you but I fucking hate it. Hephaistion responds finally with disgust and hatred at the back of his throat.

Alexander chuckles looking down at his red silken garment for bed. Then we agree, My Love. On more than you know. They call it Persian Red. I thought I'd try it but I can take it off if you'd like. You always did say me being nude suits me better.

Hephaistion does finally smile but it was soft and innocent, childlike almost.

The king decides not to finish his work. He stands and strips himself of his robe knowing he and his lover are both exhausted and ready for dreamland.

Hephaistion turns his head and looks around the room. Alexander calmly approaches him with a fond look. He's not here. I've been days without him. The only one I want any night is you. I'm sorry for my words earlier. You know I would love nothing more than to leave this world and be with you.

I know. Says Hephaistion, not proud of his earlier behavior. You have an obligation. That was selfish of me and I know better. He bows his head. I just dreamt that one day it happened and I loved every part of it.

The king smiles in fascination. I'm glad that you still dream of us. I thought I was the only one. I'm the one who is selfish, Hephaistion, because I can never be without you. Not in this life or in death.

The king kisses the lips of his lover as he lifts his chin. Hephaistion, now confident he would have the king all to himself, removes his own clothing and the two fall into a deep slumber for what felt like many many nights.

\

"Alex? Are you even listening?"

The multicolored eyes lifted and the blonde looked at his mom who was judging him for going off on a tangent in his head. He cleared his throat as he came back to reality. "What were you saying?"

"Never-mind. You should get your brain looked at. I think it's rotting." She went back to angrily eating.

Alex only looked a little sorry but he didn't say it. He also went back to eating.

It was awkward silence in the dining room. Mother and son were spending a Christmas evening together, just the two of them. It was the first time she cooked a meal since her dad passed and it didn't help that Olympias had a depressed undertone wanting Alex to be just as upset about it as she was but Alex was never going to feel that way. Why should he feel sorry about what happened to his grandfather who openly despised him and only spoke to him if he was yelling at him for stupid shit. But Alex wasn't heartless so he tried to break the silence so that it wasn't so aggravating. Their relationship had always been a melodramatic one but now they were so far apart they hadn't even realized it until they sat down together for the first time in 5 months.

"The food is good, mom." Alex said. Bucephalus was sitting by his leg waiting for food to drop.

"I'm surprised you decided to stay here and not go celebrate it with Phai." She answered passive aggressively.

"I was going to because they invited the both of us but you declined their invitation, remember?"

"I remember."

"You also still didn't open the letter they sent you." It was a condolences letter. She was probably sick of them.

"I will never open it so you can just toss it with the rest of the food we don't finish tonight." She smiled with grace at him before biting into her salad.

Alex shifted in his seat. "They're trying to be nice. You don't have to be so dismissive. You can accept love and friendship, mom. That's what the holidays are for."

She looked up at her son as if he lost his mind. "Well you're a little bias, aren't you? You enjoy their company more than mine. They're like family to you."

"That's not true." It was true. Very true. And Alex sighed when he realized how true it was and there was no point denying it in front of her.

"I don't take it personally anymore. I realize that you're getting older and it's an age where it's important to be needed and validated by other people."

Alex rolled his eyes. "One day, just one day can you not be so damn negative."

She had prepared food like she was serving 20 guests. There was honey glazed ham, green salad, macaroni salad, fruit salad, cranberry brie bites, garlic mashed potatoes, candied yams, stuffed meatballs and every pie you can name. Alex wondered how long she had been slaving over it and if this was her way of coping with her depression. It didn't help that the light above them was poorly lit like they were in some dramatic setting. It was dark all around them except for the spotlight that hung above them, right above the center of the table. Only his family would sit and eat, swallowing in darkness. But Alex wasn't so annoyed by it. In fact he was happy that for once he didn't have to sit there being shamed by his grandpa. "What did you do to help prepare it?" His grandfather would have asked Alex with scorn. "All you do is eat everything. You got a garbage disposal in that stomach of yours?"

Despite his mothers gloom, Alex was ecstatic. He continued to shove down the food. Alex could eat non stop. His calorie limit was impossibly high but he needed to eat constantly to live. His immune system disorder called for it with his blood pressure always high and his heart beat pumping like it was running a marathon, he'd be skin and bone. And dead. He'd be dead. But no one ever questioned it, probably because he still looked fit and healthy. Then he thought about it and realized he hadn't had alcohol in a decent amount of time, decent being since that horrible night he witnessed a death for the first time. But it was easier to drink his calories than to chew it and he was fighting bad cravings. The problem was he was still too young to drink so nothing was accessible even though Barsine would have been happy to score him some but he'd never include his friends in his own downfall. But he craved it because Alexander craved it. He craved it because he wasn't sure how much longer he could be without Phai but he promised his mom he'd be there for her to get through this. She did lose her husband and her dad after all. And she'd lose Alex eventually but she didn't know that yet. People would rather slow down the time, whereas Alex needed it to be sped up. He was in a hurry. And he knew very well what happens when Alexander gets impatient. He does stupid and reckless shit.

Then she just had to ask. "Have you called that number yet?"

Alex looked up from his plate after ripping the fork from his mouth and gave her a wide obnoxious smile with cheeks stuffed with food. "No and I'm not going to. Did you?"

"I have and it's extremely helpful. You really should talk to someone about it."

"I don't need help with it. I'm fine."

"Alex?" She cut him off sternly and she wasn't so graceful anymore. "Why can't you do this for me? Why is it always a fight with you? Just call the damn number. They can help you. You haven't been yourself lately and it's obvious why."

Alex wondered how much he had changed. Was he really that different from before?

"Fun fact, people have worse lives than us and there's just something pathetic about talking to a person who gets paid to care."

"They also get paid to help. Maybe they can prescribe you with something that will help you sleep. Maybe that's why your moods have been out of control."

"I'm going to stop you right there. I don't need help. You might need help, but I definitely don't. And psychotherapists don't prescribe medication anyway."

"Then talk to a psychiatrist who can."

"I'm good. Never been better." Then he realized how bad that must have sounded. She must have thought that he was rubbing it in her face that he was happier now that her dad was wiped from existence.

"You love being in denial." He didn't expect that from her, better than what he was expecting.

"You really want there to be something wrong with me, don't you? You're just waiting for me to go off the deep end until I fuck up?" Alex asked but it was more a statement.

"You had a death scare on your 16th birthday. Your father died on your 18th birthday and your grandpa died on your 19th birthday. Who's next? Me? Phai?"

Alex stopped eating. "Don't bring Phai into this."

"It's true. He could be next. Anyone of us can."

Alex grunted. His mom was the type of person that would harm herself on his birthday just to keep the legacy alive. But the thought of losing Phai wasn't a great feeling. "Maybe you're the one with the bad fortune. You're the one who gave birth to me. You're the one who married dad. You're the one who has a Nazi father. Maybe you're the problem and this is your fate, not mine."

Olympias wanted to smack him so hard across the face. Alex had inherited his fathers provocation but she couldn't hit him because that was her precious baby boy. "I'm just saying that that kind of trauma doesn't just go away. So talk to a professional." She said before changing the subject to an even worse subject and Alex swore she was looking for a fight. Why could they never just eat in peace. Or be at peace. "Anyway, have you decided where you want to attend college? All of your friends are ahead and I didn't think that was possible."

There it was, the condescension. "What do you mean by that?" He asked already hating where this conversation was going.

"They're dimwits, sweetie. How in the world did they make it into Stanford? Meanwhile, you're still thinking about it knowing that you have the most potential."

My friends weren't dimwits. They were smart and driven, far more than I was. They will soon be successful, leading great lives and making lots of money. Then there was me who couldn't for the life of me figure out what I wanted to do with it. Hell, I didn't know what to do with me. No one did.

"I'm not interested."

She dropped her wrist, meaning to have dropped her utensil, but tried really hard not to let that answer bother her as her jaw tightened. Then she brought back up her fork and stabbed the last cherry tomato on her plate. "Maybe you should compete a little harder. Put some effort in." Status was everything to her and now she had to sit there and listen to Alex choose to waste his life away. "You're not working at a low end job like Taco Bell, Alex. Let's just make that perfectly clear." She scoffed before forking the meatball, rounded by spaghetti, into her mouth.

"But I love their authentic tacos."

"What did I say about having a smart-ass mouth?"

Alex didn't have time for a smart comeback, though he looked ready to give one. He chose to not answer. Wise choice.

"What happened to your ambition?" Asked Olympias. "Remember when you were in kindergarten and you told the class that you wanted to rule the world for your class project? That was so cute."

Alex cringed. "How would I remember that? I don't even remember last night."

"Well, I remember. It was cute. It was at least something. Maybe if you'd stop drinking you'd remember."

"I haven't had alcohol in five months."

"How can I believe that?"

"I'm not gonna go out of my way to convince you, mom. If I had been drinking you would know because I wouldn't be this calm right now. I'd be losing my shit having to deal with your judgmental mouth."

"You should be a fucking politician." Olympias hissed.

Alex assumed she meant that as an insult because politicians are known for their charming lies. But it would be nice to have the ambition of a politician he thought. They go far in life just by being aggressive and sure of themselves. And corrupt. The king was never a great politician though. He was way to honest for the world.

"I'd rather die."

Her face died some more and she went back to eating with an attitude. She could never get through to him. And death was never a great topic for a Holiday dinner.

Alex mumbled something under his breath and she glared at him. "You know honey, after all of this time we've spent together, I'd really thought you'd understand why I do the things I do for you. You have no ways at all but for some reason you're stuck in your ways. That's not a healthy way to live."

"And you act like you can change me and shape me in the way you want me to be. You still act like I'm the fucking worst thing that has ever happened to you but then you covet me like I'm the best thing that has ever happened to you. Pick one. I'm either the worst fucking person in your life or I'm the best one. Which one is it? I can't be both perfect and flawed, so choose."

"What's to solve? You're my son. You came from my vagina so I choose when to love you and when to despise you. Now finish your food and stop taking your daddy issues out on me." She said without looking at him while scraping the last of her plate.

Alex said nothing back. There was so much he wanted to say but then he'd be accused of other things being wrong with him. After all everyone knew more about him than he did.

They were quiet again. Both of them not eating. Just sitting back waiting for the other one to say something. Alex was tapping his fork against the plate and she glared at him. It annoyed her greatly but he didn't even know he was doing it. An anxious tick his father had. So she spoke so that he could stop.

"It's important that you get an education so that you can get a well-paying job so that you can support yourself and your soon to be family one day. Why are you so against that?"

Alex did stop the tapping. "If I'm lucky I will have another four years to live."

He was going to be the death of her, Olympias decided right then and there. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"So, you're going to do nothing with your life? Is that what you are telling me?"

"Yep."

She watched him closely and carefully. Too many of his mannerisms were like his father, like the way he sat, the way he ate, the way he tilted his head in thought. And he had so few of hers, the more formal ones like the way he cut his food and the way he wiped his mouth or rubbed his neck when nervous and it was like watching a barbarian trying to adapt to a more proper way of life.

"Are you saying you want to be homeless, Alex?"

"It's not a bad idea. Poor people are more humble."

Olympias wasn't sure if she was hearing her son right. What the hell was wrong with him. "No son of mine is going to end up on the streets like a damn street rat. You're going to college. Talk to Barsine. She got into a really great school. And she's working part time at a cute little diner downtown. Maybe you can work part time with her until you decide what university to go to."

Alex didn't respond because there were only so many ways to say no.

She slammed the table as if she read his mind. There was just something so frustrating about Alex, especially lately. He used to be so sweet and innocent and now he was this living disaster she couldn't explain. She could blame it on him being a teenager but sometimes looking deep within him, she couldn't tell if Alex was being difficult on purpose because sometimes he'd have a defiant grin on his face or if he truly believed doing nothing was his perfect escape. Olympias sighed. "How can I help you if you refuse to talk to me?"

Alex didn't respond but he had stopped eating ten minutes ago. He was shutting down.

"Going to college is important, Alex. It's part of life." She tried to tell him.

"So is dying. Dying is a part of life and I refuse to waste my life doing something I don't want to do."

"Where is this coming from?"

"You don't ever fucking listen to me."

"I do listen to you."

"So you're listening but you're not taking me seriously? To listen there must be comprehension!" He yelled before angrily leaning back into his chair.

She leaned forward making sure he had her complete attention. "Is this some cry for attention, Alex? Am I not giving you enough? I've tried to give you all of my attention and you ignore me because you'd rather get your attention from that whore of yours or from your dead father. What do I ask for from you, Alex? Hmm?"

"Everything. But you're not asking, you're taking."

"Dad was right, you're completely ungrateful."

"How. And please, be specific. As specific as you can. What have I not done for you? What have I not sacrificed for you?"

"You don't know what's good for you. I tried helping you all of these years with your anger, trying to get you the best help for it and you refused it."

"That didn't help me. You thought I tried committing suicide. You accused me of being crazy and you told everyone. Did you tell your therapist that part?" Alex was definitely about to explode.

"I didn't accuse you of being crazy. I was worried about you. Mental illness runs in your father's family."

"Dad wasn't mentally ill."

"You've inherited every one of his traits and he was definitely mentally ill. Trust me, I had to live with it for 28 years. Narcissistic personality disorder, panic disorder, depressive disorder, impulse control disorder, sleep disorder, paranoid disorder, bipolar, alcohol use disorder and everything else in the damn book."

"And what about you? You're completely fucking sane? You're not bat-shit crazy at all?"

"How could you?"

"Now that you've provoked me, you get to sit there and play the victim?" Alex leaned in and glared right back at her. "I hate water, why would I drown myself? Why would I go anywhere near it? I didn't know what the fuck was happening and I fell in. That's it! I wasn't trying to kill myself. Why is that so hard to believe?" He shouted at her. It was like he needed to get that off his chest and she backed up into her chair. "I've been trying to tell you that for years but you don't listen to me. It's like you want to believe that I am sick in the head or fucking manic and destructive because that means it would keep me here with you because nobody else will have me if they found out I was a suicidal depressed piece of shit. I'm not mentally handicapped. I'm none of those things."

"Your animosity towards me isn't normal, Alex." Her eyes were watering and her voice was shaky. "I've only tried to help you in the best way that a mother can but I refuse to be scared of my own son."

Alex was squeezing his fork, bending it even. He wasn't winning this fight. He was clearly suffering from something the others couldn't see. Maybe if he told his mom his problem she'd change, she'd treat him better. No, if he told her, she'd only make him feel more like shit. She'd victimize herself some more. Gaslight him for the rest of his life. She'd probably blame it on Phillip. And she'd be even clingier. Then she'd say something like, "Why are you spending all this time with Phai, you should be spending it with your mother who may lose her only child". But he was still stuck. He wanted to tell her but what would be the point. He finally sighed, leaned back and spoke in a defeated tone. "I don't have any animosity towards you. You're the one who has animosity towards me. Maybe because I'm the son of the man you despised most in life. Maybe because you hate that I like Phai and won't give you grand-kids. I don't know what it is but you hate so much more about me. You just wont tell me what it is."

"How can you say that?" She reached over and touched Alex's hand with tears in her eyes. "I don't hate you, Alex. I could never hate you. You are my son and I love you. More than anything. I'm only looking out for you."

This would be the time his grandfather would step in and ask him to clear his plate and to not show his face until he was ready to apologize to his mother. "I'm tired of people telling me that they're looking out for me when they're not."

This time it wasn't Alex that left. Olympias stood, left her plate as a symbol for her son to go fuck himself and headed upstairs to cry herself to sleep like she had been doing for many nights.

Alex rubbed at his head from the incoming headache. He sighed heavily, stayed sitting with his head down until hours went by. He finally stood and cleaned up the dinner, stuck it in Tupperware, wrapped it in foil and put it away. He cleaned the kitchen to where it was spotless and sat back down thinking everything over.

Olympias came back down stairs and it was almost 1AM. She poured herself a glass of wine. Her bath robe was strapped tight to her and she just glared at him while she sipped from the glass. Her hair was lumpy and unkempt and her eyes were aggressive like she had just woken up from a wild dream.

"Did you sleep okay?" Alex asked knowing damn well she didn't. He just never knew what to talk about with her.

She said nothing back, just kept glaring at her son as if he was the most evil thing in the world.

He didn't look away. Usually he wouldn't give eye contact because you know, staring at an animal wasn't always a good idea but this time he kept eyes on her. He couldn't tell if he was uncomfortable with it or if he loved the challenge.

"You have something to say mom?"

"I've seen what is in your journal."

"I know you have. Apparently everyone has." He just sat there at the table with his hands crossed. "And it's not a journal. I don't write in it to keep up with myself. I write in it to keep ahead of myself."

"Why do you keep it?" She asked.

"I don't know."

"Who is the king?"

"He's me. In another life."

"You really believe he's real?"

"He's real to me."

"That's called Schizoaffective disorder. Phillip's father had it. You're going to sit there and tell me with a straight face that you don't have a mental illness? You talk to this other person as if you're having a real conversation with him. Hearing voices, seeing things that aren't really there can lead to suicide, Alex."

"You don't have to worry about that."

"You think we have a sensual relationship? You think I want to fuck my own son?"

Alex scooted his chair away from the table. He stood and went upstairs and Olympias just waited for him. He came back downstairs with the book and threw it into the fireplace. The fire cracked and popped as if destroyed his notes. He came back to the kitchen and sat down in the same position he had been in since she had pulled her tantrum.

"That didn't answer my question." She commanded strongly.

"I think you want me to be a better version of dad, so yes, sometimes you want me to fuck you because dad wasn't a good lover. I think you see in me an extension of yourself so you become possessive in the name of motherly love. I'm all that you have and if I leave, your separation anxiety will kill you. Tell me if I'm wrong."

"For someone who sleeps very little, you're quite the dreamer."

The blonde blinked away the possessive words of his mother, the ancient queen. You're mine, Alexander. He was feeling a wide range of emotions but he wasn't displaying them. He kept collected and calm like he was drained from everything to fight anymore. He accepted the comment from her. She would never understand what he saw. He looked up at her. She was just staring at him with those eyes with snakes living in them.

"I have something to tell you and I don't want you to be upset."

Alex scoffed, looking ready for whatever it was she was about to lay on him. He could handle anything at the moment. He couldn't say that he was in any caring mood.

"Do you remember last year when we went to my employers holiday event?"

He nodded.

"Remember when I introduced you to my boss?"

He nodded again.

"We've been seeing each other."

"He's old." He said.

"He's 48."

"Oh. He looks older."

"Well, at least I didn't cheat on my husband with a bunch of random girls. God, your father was a slut." She gulped down her wine and dropped the glass in the very clean sink.

"You can sleep with whoever you want. You're an adult. I'm happy for you, I guess. As long as he doesn't pretend to be my dad or better than him, I don't give a shit. If he helps you move on from the deaths surrounding us, by all means, fuck away."

"Really? Is that how you feel?"

"Yep. Go have fun."

Olympias glared, not getting the reaction she wanted but Alex knew her game very well. She'd put Alex in situations where he would need her more or desire her attention but even though Alex knew the game, he still fell for it sometimes.

"I'm pregnant."

That's when Alex lost it. He started to laugh like it was the funniest thing ever and she let him have it. "You would really consider bringing another life into this world?" He asked with that raw feeling of detest at his tongue. "It's just going die when you give birth to it, just like the last ones. I was lucky but not really. You should have never had me because I almost killed you. Remember? You must love bleeding out, mom."

"One day you'll realize what it takes to have and love a child and you won't be as harsh about it." Her eyes were subdued as was her voice.

"May that day never come."

"I love you, Alex." She said. "Always remember that."

For the first time, I didn't say it back. I just left not wanting to make anything worse. She was sure I'd be in a better mood the next day. It always happened like that. We'd fight and then we'd be better until the next fight. But remember that storm I mentioned, the storm that breaks me? Well it was closer than I had thought. And everyone plays a part.

Then a whole new year began.


Phai's parents were already inviting the new neighbors over as if they were best friends and Phai's house suddenly became the hot spot because of his parents annoying hospitality. And by this time, everyone was already used to Darian, treating him like a new friend in our group. Of course Cassy didn't like him either for obvious reasons and Tolem for non obvious reasons and if Tolem hated someone, that person had to be a piece of shit. Cleitus also found him a bit sketchy but it was just us four that felt that way. Leon, Perdicas, Phil and Crater loved the guy, not as much as they loved me but they sensed that nothing was wrong and Phai...well, Phai had not a single care in the world. He was having a blast that night, actually having fun and entertaining conversations with everyone. He was smiling and he was laughing and he looked fucking beautiful doing it and I just kept asking myself, why me? Why would he choose me over Darian who seemed more on his level. The two were far more compatible though everyone else would argue that chemistry was far more important.

The guy was charming, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't natural and I couldn't figure out why Phai allowed him to get so close again. The Phai I grew up with would have dismissed Darian with nothing more to say but perhaps this was Phai maturing which I saw happening right before my very eyes. A part of me tells myself that Phai was just a good person, that he accepted everyone and everything because he was without judgement just as his ancient counterpart, and another part of me tells me that Phai saw in Darian a better man than me. The king had better intuition than I did so why wouldn't I have believed it. Phai didn't have to be the one to tell me that he and Darian had a falling out. He didn't have to tell me that they made up or how they did. And the fucked up thing was, I'm sure it was Phai who ended up apologizing for his behavior the night I caught them in Phai's dorm. But I never brought it up because I trust Phai. I trust him with all my heart. And I hope he trusts me with all of his. I mean, Phai can talk to whoever he wants to and I didn't want to be that controlling paranoid boyfriend but I also didn't want to die out of the blue with Darian being the one left for him. I didn't want anyone left for him. But I suppose I wasn't being the best man that I could be. I'd replace me, too.

So here we were at Phai's house listening to this douche-bag become the life of the party. Oh and he brought his girlfriend this time. She was glistening with silver jewelry, wearing a sparkly rose gold dress to match the New Years Evening. Did I mention she couldn't keep her eyes off of me? Did I also mention she's the same girl that eye fucked me at the Halloween party Phai and I went to before he got completely drunk and we had to leave? Yea, this was going to be fun. This was going to be a classic night.

Phai nudged Alex. When Alex realized he had inappropriately zoned out in the middle of the conversation they were all having, he looked around at everyone who were waiting for him to answer the question he wasn't sure who asked. When he couldn't figure it out he looked at Phai for help.

"Parys asked you a question?" Said Phai politely while rubbing Alex's stomach. Phai was wearing a solid teal fitting V neck and black dress pants that made him look tall and slim and refined.

Alex quickly looked at the girl who was being held by Darian. He looked very sorry for being rude. "Sorry, what did you ask me?"

"It's normal for Alex to lose focus. He gets bored of us very easy. We're sorry about him." Cleitus said patting Alex on the back as if he was pitying him but was really making fun of him. Cleitus never took anything seriously. Apparently neither did Phai who was also trying to bite back a grin. He always found amusement in Alex's odd antics.

Phai was sitting on the other side of Alex just staring at him along with everyone else at the table who couldn't wait for his participation. In a circle from left to right it went as follows: Phai, Darian, Darian's girlfriend, Tolem, Thais, Cleitus, Alex and then back to Phai. They were sitting at the large glass table on the patio outside while their parents were in the kitchen talking about whatever it was parents talked about. There were string lights that twinkled and decorated the house and deck and it lit up the backyard beautifully as well as Alex's eyes which the guests were caught off guard by. Illumination did go a long way and Parys couldn't stop gazing.

"Oh it's perfectly alright." She smiled with her plump silver lips. "I asked how you are feeling about being a big brother. Your mom is super excited. She told us all about it."

Alex found that hard to believe but then again his mom was enjoying herself.

My mom did come this time and she was getting along with Darian's parents very well, probably because they were the ones who bought the house and they were indeed a lovely and happy couple unlike my parents. They were sipping on wine, in the kitchen talking about their children and what makes them proud about us, and Callista was playing video games with Leon in the living room and the rest of us were chatting outside and Phai had no idea how many of us were putting up fronts. He was surrounded by complete psychopaths.

"I'm not necessarily fond of having to babysit the Anti-Christ so...there's one con."

Parys laughed like it was the funniest thing but everyone else knew he was being quite serious, especially Phai. Phai was the only one who knew in detail how Alex felt about his mothers attempt at bringing more spawns into the world and ever so often had to remind Alex that just because he was the surviving child of three and possibly four that it didn't make him evil.

"You're so funny." Parys giggled and Phai still had no idea she was vigorously flirting with Alex. He was far to focused on admiring the blonde himself. Alex never had to try to look good. He could wake up in the middle of the desert coming down on heroin and girls would flail over how ruggedly handsome he looked and tonight, from the point of view of his blue eyed lover, he looked very masculine and gentlemen like. His floppy hair that went every direction helped with that. As far as his wardrobe goes, Alex looked like he had forgotten they had a party to go to and rolled out the house in a rush to catch a flight, sporting a baggy long sleeve shirt and jeans that had been ripped up by Bucephalus in her early puppy stages. He kept them because, why not.

"Thanks, I try." Alex replied while fighting with the ring on his finger.

Thais rolled her eyes and Alex gave her a 'fuck you' look.

She pretended to scratch her head while giving him the finger so he decided to call her out. "Not everyone finds me charmingly hilarious though. Thais here thinks I am the least humorous and more cynical than anything. Luckily for anyone who is brave enough to listen to the sound of her annoying voice, she is actually quite the conversation guru."

"And you're a fucking asshole!" She snapped.

"Did you forget what I said about your voice?" He glared. "You're speaking."

Phai squeezed Alex's thigh, warning him to be nice and Tolem didn't even try to calm down Thais. He just gave her an "oh well" shrug.

Tolem sighed when Thais stormed off calling Alex a lot of other names. It was totally normal for Thais and Alex to go at it though so it wasn't as awkward as it seemed. More like playful banter but it wasn't. For some reason they just hated each other. But Alex can get savage to the point where they couldn't tell if he meant his cruelness or not. Sometimes he just had that look that can kill you but Thais always did start it and Alex was getting to the point where keeping quiet and holding things back were no longer part of his daily routine and it was scary to think about.

Alex accepted Phai's lively warning touch and then proceeded to drink the sparkling cider from his cup. When Phai touched him, whether it was accidental or purposeful, it was always dangerous. Alex had a hard time fighting the idea of knocking everything from the table, slamming Phai down and making love to him in front of everyone. That's what happens when Phai touches him and he shifted slightly to adjust himself.

Phil, Crater and Perdicas came to sit, Crater dropping a card deck on the center table. The boys were now interested. This was there type of thing. Competition.

"I already feel it in my bones. I'm going to win whatever we chose to play." Said Cleitus, as he shuffled the cards.

"Go Fish." Said Phai and they quickly hounded him for wanting to play a child's game with the men.

"Take that girly shit somewhere else." Said Cleitus taking the shuffling very seriously.

"It's the only game I know how to play and that I can easily win." Phai smiled proudly.

Darian quickly glanced at Phai but as fast as it was, it was meant to be seducing. Phai looked away.

Cassy crept over, smoking and standing behind them. "Cheat. That's the game you'll be playing." He said leaning back against the post on the patio.

"Good choice. You gonna play with us or are you going to play with your cancer stick instead?" The black haired man said with a red wide smile on his face.

"Losers play games. Winners watch and learn." Said Cassy getting into his comfortable stance with his arms crossed and with a drink in his hand.

Darian whispered something into his girlfriends ear and she got up and went to go join the girls. It was probably a better conversation than watching a bunch of guys trying to one up each other. She winked at Alex as she strutted off to go join Thais, Roxanne and Barsine.

Barsine also was invited. Phai actually liked her and had no problems with her. I wonder how long that would last.

So we played the game and Phai, bless his adorable little soul was so bad it. The game was about how well you really know your friends or the people you chose to play with. It was about putting on your best poker faces and Phai ended opting out and just watching the rest of the game. I was just proud about how bad he failed at trying to be a good liar.

Darian did the shuffling the next game, being the expert of deception. He dealt them evenly and of course them being men they were all invested in winning. Alex watched Darian carefully. The blonde nodded, it being his turn. He glanced at the ace faced up in the middle of the table and then looked at everyone else. Alex smiled. Already inside of their heads. Phai knew Alex was about to win. He could read Alex more than Alex could read the rest of the room so he definitely could have beaten Alex. And Phai was right. They challenged every one of Alex's bluffs, being wrong and picking up the discarded cards. They reached the Kings rank and the game ended with Alex winning with an empty hand.

Phai smooched Alex on the face, so proud of him even though it was just a stupid game. A win for Alex was a win for him.

"You're a natural, Alex." Said Darian right after looking Phai up and down for stretching his arms over the blonde, his shirt lifting up a little bit showing lower ab, but of course Phai was still clueless and Alex had caught Darian.

"Yea well, I don't need you to tell me that."

"Alex." Said Phai as close to his ear that he can get.

"I'm just complimenting you, man. We should play again someday." Darian tried not to let it bother him but only Alex knew that he was totally instigating him.

"If I wanted a compliment from you, I'd ask for one. I hope we never play again. I would get tired of winning."

The whole table looked shocked when Alex got up and left. They had no clue what set him off and Phai didn't even know how to apologize for it. Even the girls had looked back as if they were the ones who did something wrong.

Cassy chuckled. "Wait until he gets alcohol into his system. I'll go see what's up." He then left and went inside after Alex.

Phai rolled his eyes. Cassy wasn't going in to help. He was probably going in to encourage Alex to behave more erratically.

"Okay, is it me or has Alex been acting seriously off today?" Thais said after rejoining the table.

"Totally. He's acting like a cocky dick." Barsine said, also noticing it.

"He's not always like that?" Darian joked but his grin quickly went away when Phai glared at him. "Sorry."

"I think he's acting normal." Tolem said and everyone was surprised he was defending Alex considering their last fight. "And maybe we should stop pretending that we know Alex more than Alex. He's probably going through a lot with his mom being pregnant. Or something else." He emphasized the last part while looking right at Darian.

"But I like it. It's sexy." Roxanne said out of nowhere and gasps from the girls rang in agreement.

"Yea, it's kind of exotic. Usually he's all reserved and quiet." Barsine added.

"Oh yea, so sexy." Cleitus said before laughing his ass off and suddenly the girls were swooning over the bad version of Alex.

"Phai, I didn't know you were dating such a sassy thing." Said Parys amused and enthralled. "After tonight, you're going to need to keep him on a leash."

"That's because Phai is the sassy one and Alex isn't." Answered Phil. "But the leash idea doesn't sound so bad. We've seen Alex's wild side and let me tell you, blood-curling."

Cleitus just chuckled. "Welcome to the family."

Seeing Phai's annoyed expression, Darian insisted that it wasn't a problem. He didn't look happy, not with Alex or the fact that everyone seemed cool with the idea of Alex being an arrogant ass. "I'll be back." Phai left the table to make sure Cassy wasn't up to something. It would be his luck to find them drinking together and getting along.

Alex, too, had no clue why he just went off like that. He had found his way out-front getting away from everybody so that he could enjoy a bit of silence. His world was so loud and the night helped with that. The moon helped and when he looked up the magnificent sky, his head was back to normal. The only thing the night was missing was the breeze. It was always so hot and a nice cold beer sounded wonderful but he hadn't had a drink since his birthday. So far so good.

Alex sat on the steps and looked into the red plastic cup of cider and instantly regretted everyhting. Why did he have to be such a dick in front of everyone? Why did he behave like that in-front of Phai. Just as he was about to get up, go back in and apologize like a man, Cassy joined him.

The green eyed teen slowly closed the screen door. "I remember a time when you were the nice one and we never had to worry about you going off the rails."

Alex grinned and sat back down. Cassy sat next to him. "You don't normally sit."

"Well, I should get to the same level as my friend."

"Oh no." Alex said sarcastically. "What bullshit advice do you have for me now?"

"Nothing." Cassy shrugged. "I think you should behave like a dickhead more often. It's a good look on you. And Phai is completely attracted to it, as are we all."

Alex rolled his eyes knowing Cassy was lying. But it only made him feel worse about how he acted."If Phai didn't hate me then, he hates me now."

"He can't hate you, as much as you deserve it sometimes, he doesn't have it in him."

The blonde smiled, loving Phai more for it.

"Are you changing?"

The question threw Alex off guard. He quickly turned his head to look at his green eyed friend with a confused look on his face. "What does that mean?"

"Are you changing? Is this your turn to evil?" Cassy asked as if it was a normal conversation to have.

Alex scoffed again and looked away from him. "I'm not changing, Cassy. I'm growing up. Maybe that's what you guys are freaking out about."

"I think the only one freaking out is you."

It was true. Alex had been fighting this change since the very beginning of the life he remembered. He knew the king was a bad person but he was getting tired of fighting. He didn't answer. Cassy said nothing else. He left him a fresh cigarette and lighter, got up and headed back in, leaving Alex out there to think on it.

When Cassy slipped back through the door, looking all casual and shit, he ran into Phai.

"What did you say to him?" Phai was quick to jump to a bad conclusion.

"Nothing. Did you really wait until I was done? He's your boyfriend, you could have just came out there and interrupted whatever you thought I was feeding him."

"I know when Alex needs his space. It would have been rude to bust out there and interrupt your crappy conversation."

"You are such a polite human being. They just don't exist anymore."

"Fuck you, Cassy."

"I'll wait my turn. I'm a very patient man." Cassy smirked. "And if I were you, I'd wait and let Alex come to me. He wants to apologize, he just doesn't know what he's apologizing for yet." Then Cassy left Phai with that advice and went back outside with the others who had moved on from discussing Alex and onto other things. Phai took Cassy's advice and left Alex out there to figure it out.

Alex was looking as if everything was invisible and he was trying hard to see it. He thought about going to his car and just leaving but that would be way to obvious and a really bad excuse. Did he really want to be alone that bad? Unfortunately not. It was quite the opposite. He just felt alone and he didn't know why. He could have came up with a whole damn list and reasons but it was more simple than that. He was far away. Far from them. Far from him. The shittier part was it wouldn't have mattered if he moved, just like Phai had once told him, he was always far even if he was right next to him holding his hand. He just didn't know how not to be so far away. No one blamed him for it but maybe they should have. How much farther could he possibly go?

Someone had snuck up on Alex, giving him a large hug from behind.

"Hello, favorite human." She said. "Alone as usual."

Alex grinned knowing it had been Callista. "Hello favorite girl."

She was in a white dress with white flats looking like a cute little angel. Though Phai would say she was more demonic than angelic. Another reason to be excited about being the only child but he was getting tired of his selfish thoughts on the subject. If his mom wanted another damn kid who was he to tell her that she couldn't.

"Why are you hanging out here by yourself? You don't think we're fun anymore? Is that what moving does to people? If so, yuck."

Alex chuckled. "I'm just taking a break."

"A break from us?"

"A break from myself."

"That makes absolutely no sense, Alex."

The blonde smiled down at her. "Be glad that it doesn't." Life hasn't tore her down yet. He couldn't tell her that though. If he told her his story she'd have nightmares and then she'd be too scared to grow into her conscience that hadn't spoke to her yet. But then not everyone had a mind as fucked up as his. There was nothing quite like the mind.

"Are you thinking about your dad?" She then asked after contemplating whether she should or not.

Alex briefly glanced at her. He shook his head. "Not this time."

Callista kept eyes on Alex, sympathy clouding them. "He was scary but I liked him."

"He was such a dick."

"Language, Alex."

Alex smirked.

"What? That's what dad would say if he heard you right now."

"You're dad cusses all the time." Alex replied.

"I know. But he's a saint compared to yours and your dad is god himself compared to your mom. She's smiling today too, which isn't natural. It creeps me out."

Alex laughed in agreement. "Yea, she's terrifying."

"I heard her mentioning that you didn't take the news very well about being an older brother."

He looked at her, reeking of denial. "I took the news just fine."

"By telling her 'may that day never come'?"

"What are you doing out here anyway?" Alex instantly dropped the subject. "Weren't you just sucking off Leon's mouth in the living room in front of all the guests."

"Oh yea, you want to go there, mister 'I'm in love with your brother.'"

Alex shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please. Phai doesn't even hide it anymore. He hangs all over you in front of everyone. He forgets that all of us aren't supposed to know yet but he's so bad at hiding it, he literally just told everyone by practically dry humping you tonight."

Alex sighed. "How do you really know?"

"I heard mom and dad talking about you two. They thought they were being quiet but I put the pieces of the puzzle together. I'm that smart."

"Or maybe you were just snooping around like you always do."

"Can't confirm or deny."

Alex messed up her hair. "That's what you get. You better fix it or your dad is going to think that you and Leon did the nasty in his house."

"Ew, Alex."

The blonde looked proud of himself. Callista grinned when the two calmed down. "Remember that day you came and joined your friends in the field, and Phai and I were off in the boat on the pond. I had a feeling you were who Phai was waiting for."

Alex nodded with a smile. "They were being mean to you and like the hero I was born to be, came to your rescue. I didn't get enough credit for that at all."

Callista laughed and shoved him playfully. "You are getting cocky."

"Is that the topic of discussion going on in there?"

"Yea and Phai will only take so much of it until he gives up on your ass. He's surrounded by so much cocky idiots that he finds you the one person pleasant to be around."

Alex sighed and nodded but said nothing, his mood instantly changing. But he didn't want anyone to go out of there way understand where he's been coming from.

"Phai had asked me something that day. He asked me what I would say if someone told me that they found me interesting. I told him I would tell that person that I felt special. Now I know who he was asking about. You know he was always so sad at how isolated you were. I think if he sees you out here by yourself, he's going to feel the same way he did." Then she just had to ask. "Why didn't you tell me about you two?"

"Because you were young and probably not ready."

"I'm ready now."

"You're only 15. 16. Wait, how old are you again?"

"16 about to turn 17."

"You're not allowed to grow up. Once you grow up all the fucked up shit in the world crowds you. It's better to stay young and carefree."

She laughed at the advice. "I'm okay with growing up. I guess I have you to thank for getting Phai out of his awkward antisocial stage. You two do make the cutest pairing."

"Cuter than you and Leon?" Alex joked.

"Hell yes."

"Cuter than Tolem and Thais?"

"Is that even a debate. Duh."

"Cuter than your own parents."

"An easy, yes. Be honest with me, are you two in a bad spot right now?"

Alex chuckled but it was the honesty that hurt, it hurt because it was impossible to hide. "I am. I'm always in a bad spot. Phai, he...he hangs in there with me. He shouldn't have to but he does."

She leaned her head against Alex's shoulder and hugged his arm tightly before releasing him. "Wish I could make you feel better. Hopefully you can kill off what's bugging you. Drown it or something."

Alex chuckled. "Go away, Callista."

"Don't forget about us."

"I never will. And I promise, I will still play barbies with you even after you move out of your parents house. You won't have any friends but you'll have me."

"Good to know." Callista smiled freely and then went back inside.

Callista was the only female in my life who I could count on, who was there for me with no ill intent, like the little sister I never had. I couldn't believe how fast she was growing up, how mature she was becoming. Sometimes I forget that she's right behind the rest of us, two to three years apart and soon she'd be an adult, the same as us. It really made me think about defeat. The king had never been defeated before but me? I am defeated by anything life throws my way. Most people have a fear of growing old but I will never experience what it's like. I can hear my friends from outside and they're laughing and joking and fucking around. They're being irresponsible about things that didn't matter. And I'm here, being responsible about things that should matter. But its a lie. Being distracted, not paying attention, not worrying about your own fears and concerns doesn't make you worry less. When it happens, it never just happens. We just pretend it doesn't. We pretend that death is nowhere near. I can't pretend it's far. I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid of the crippling thought that I won't live long enough when he needs me the most.

Alex picked up the cigarette Cassy left him. He was going to smoke first before he went in. He had been dying to taste it. It wasn't a bad habit yet and hopefully never will be. But when he finally lit the stick, he didn't hesitate like the last time. He just did, breathed in and breathed out and it made him relax even if it was for a minute. That's when he heard someone join his side. It wasn't who he expected but then again he expected no one.

Darian sat next to him. He had pulled out a vape and began smoking it. "You smoke?" He asked as if he wasn't sure he should ask, like he was imposing in on some high level secret.

"Yep." Alex didn't even look at him as he continued on, looking ahead at the night sky.

"Phai seemed a little upset in there." Darian said before sucking in the liquid from the pen.

"I'm here if he wants to talk." Alex replied with little to no empathy.

"He doesn't know what to say to you." Darian said as if he was there to solve the issue but his intention being to make it worse between them. "He's scared I think."

Alex knew he wasn't concerned or even there to relay a message. "You know you can smoke that inside." He suggested cordially.

Darian chuckled sensing the blonde mans aggression. "Does Phai know?"

Alex tried not to let it get to him, Phai's name coming from his mouth so he kept nonreactive eyes ahead, on the same spot in the sky, casually smoking away. "Nope. But I'm not hiding, am I?"

Darian grinned and turned back ahead. He sighed in disappointment. "He hates that stuff. If you go back inside smelling like tobacco you might put him in an even worse mood."

"Like I said, you can smoke that inside." That was a warning. Everyone knew when Alex was ready to fight. He had a satisfied coolness in his face but his eyes were action packed, like a shark on the hunt.

"It's nice out here." Darian said, instigating him, meaning to disrespect him. But Alex could be disrespectful right back. People forgot that about him, what he was capable of sometimes. Alex wasn't going to leave until his smoke was done. It felt good and he needed it. If he couldn't indulge in alcohol he can at-least enjoy his first smoke in years. And he was hoping to do it in peace but of course with no such luck. "Phai talks about you all the time. He respects you so I would hope you tell him that you're smoking again."

Alex paused. Darian was challenging him. The dark haired teen blew the fruity smoke towards Alex before getting up. It smelt like pear or something like it. "Anyway, it was nice talking to you."

Alex sighed and then smiled, the condescending one that his mom despised and Phai would come to despise later. "Your girlfriend, she's nice. She also wants me to fuck her which means that your relationship is terrible or you brought her here to corner me, get me distracted."

"Now why would I try something like that?" Darian chuckled before looking back at him.

"Maybe because you thought I'd fall for it. I'm sure you are very aware that she tried dragging me to the bathroom with her two Halloweens ago."

Darian licked his lips before thinking on his response. "I don't know what you're talking about."

The first thing people do to get me to concede is to lure me in with something of imaginable beauty. The king was all about it. He'd get distracted by anything that sparkled. He was lusted by beautiful things but everything was beautiful to him. He found lust in death, in life, in grass, in art, in ruins, in dirt, in beasts, in slaves, in stars, in blood, in tears, in piss, in tragedy and all. Despite his fall for the things that bewitched him, he only loved one. Back in the day, love was far harder to come by.

"You don't have a girlfriend, do you?" Alex continued. "She doesn't exist. That girl you brought tonight is only a ruse. Phai would think I was crazy if I told him that though." Alex was finally finished with his cigarette. He tossed it away, stood and faced the dark haired teen inching in closer. "I exist though and you can't stand it. And since you are so concerned for my boyfriend, you should know that Phai doesn't like anything that people intentionally inhale into their lungs to feel better. I think that includes that." He pointed lazily at the vape in Darian's hand. "So let me do you a favor and put it out for you because that would be the right thing to do. We wouldn't want Phai to get upset with the both of us." Alex, wearing a satisfied grin, took the vape from Darian and chucked it somewhere far in the dark but he never looked away.

Darian scoffed, pretending not to care. But he was pissed and Alex wanted him that way. But Darian thought he'd play the game too. He was also good at getting under peoples skin. He first looked to the door to make sure no one was witnessing their heated argument then when the coast was clear he turned back to Alex. "It's a good thing I live so close. I mean, if something were to happen to Phai, and you weren't here to save him, just that thought is unsettling. Knowing that another man can swoop in and rescue him. But I promise you, I will take very good care of him. What does Phai like? I was thinking about what to get him for his birthday this year. He loved my last gift. I'm sure he hasn't told you about it yet. So much for trust, I guess. But this year I was thinking about giving him a mouth full of cum. I've always wanted to watch him swallow it and since he has a thing against inhaling what's bad for you, I will fuck him so hard he spits it back out. You know, a man that looks that good is getting much more dick than you think. And those campuses are filled with horny young guys who would put their dick in a garbage disposal just to get off if they could. But Phai is the first order of business. Alex, I'm telling ya, he's popular with the fellas and doesn't even know it. They bet on him. A lot. There is just something about your boyfriend that makes men tick. But I know how to boil him down to where he's just a walking insecurity. You'll fuck up and Phai will be broken and then he'll do what every broken and hurt person does. He'll find comfort in someone better. Oh, but I'm sure Phai is only committed to you. After all, he swears you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to him. But I see you for what you really are and if I see it, Phai certainly does. And if he doesn't, he will. I'll make sure of it."

The blonde blinked. He looked as if he was contemplating something in his head. Should he go easy on him or should he go berserk for disrespecting Phai in that way, especially in his own home. Then the blonde smiled to himself and if that meant what Darian thought it meant, he was in trouble. Alex sighed, animalistically. He had his own feelings, that something was about to happen. But Phai wouldn't want him to act out like that. He'd tell him that it wasn't worth it but then again Alex may never have this chance again and because he wasn't the best at forethought, dare-deviling being his genes, the blonde sent a psyched fist right through Darian.


-Stranger