"DAD! NEMO IS PLAYING WITH THE CORD ON MY LAPTOP AGAIN!" John calls, trying to be angry as the now ten-week kitten bounces around his bedroom, while he tries to do his final piece of homework before the holidays.
It is the Saturday before thanksgiving, and the house is in its now normal chaotic state as the four kittens have finally been given the full run of the house, and there have been a few minor issues. Neko, Nemo's identical twin tore Jeff's shower curtain down while he was in the shower. Lucifer, the male kitten, helped himself to the jug of custard which Grandma had made to go with dessert. Libra is obsessed with cardboard boxes and lies in wait for a victim to walk past before pouncing on their feet. Her favourite time to do this is the middle of the night when it is dark and it has the best There have been broken vases, and mugs.
Jeff comes running up the stairs, two at a time and into John's room where the tabby cat has abandoned the cord and is now intently clawing her way up his bedroom curtains. "Come on little lady" Jeff says plucking the cat from the curtains and removing her from John's room. "Let's go and annoy Gordon"
"Thanks dad, she can come back once I have finished, but if I don't get this done then I am toast in history class!" John says, giving Nemo a quick scratch behind the ear.
"Dinner will be ready soon" Jeff says to John. "Make sure that homework is finished please"
"Where are you ordering from? And of course!" John replies cheekily.
"Grandma is cooking your favourite" Jeff says.
"So the Italian in town then?" John says.
"That's the one. I will see you in a bit, pop down when you are done, your brothers are decorating for Thanksgiving and Christmas" Jeff tells him, before backing from the room, the kitten still sitting in his arms purring contentedly as he closes the door.
"Come on, let's go and see what your other brothers are up to" Jeff tells his daughter.
Finding Gordon, Alan and Virgil in the living room where the three boys are going through one of the boxes of Christmas decorations while Neko and Lucifer attack the tinsel. Libra is napping on the sofa, having successfully scaled it by climbing up Jeff's leg earlier this afternoon, her tiny white paws covering her eyes, while she is curled up into a tight little ball of fluff.
"I think this is a much more appropriate use of your time" Jeff says to the cat still in his arms as he puts her down on the floor near Gordon, and she immediately turns and flees back to the stairs. Only she is still too little to get up there easily and starts her slow descent back to John.
"I give up!" Jeff says. "What time is Scott going to be home?" he asks Virgil. Scott has been gone all day, with his new girlfriend and all Jeff remembers is him calling up the stairs as he was leaving that he will be back for supper.
"No idea" Virgil replies with a shrug. "Hey dad look at what Lucifer can do now"
Virgil grabs the now tatty tinsel, which has left strands all over the carpet and waves it above the cats nose, laughing as he leaps up into the air and catches it neatly in his paws before bringing it back down to the ground for a good chewing.
"Put extra tinsel on the list" Jeff says, resigned to the damage done to his house over the last four weeks.
Gordon grabs the shopping list from the coffee table, which now spans three pages and is mainly cat food, cat treats, cat litter and things the cats have broken that need to be replaced!
The afternoon passes peacefully, John joining in once he has finished his homework. The living room is starting to look like there has been an explosion of glitter and tinsel and both Jeff and Grandma have ling since given up trying to help, and have taken refuge in the kitchen with Star, who is curled up on Jeff's knee fast asleep, unaware that she is off to the vet on Monday morning to ensure that she doesn't have anymore kittens.
"Have you ordered dinner yet?" Grandma asks, draining the rest of her coffee.
"Not yet, I am waiting for a message back from Scott to see if he is coming home for dinner" Jeff replies.
"Order, and if he doesn't reply I know five furry devils that will happily eat his!" Grandma says, reaching over to scratch Star's head and smiling when she purrs back.
Jeff grins back. He does not regret adopting the five furry devils one little bit!
*TB*
Scott shows up with the delivery driver, his nose leading him home just in time for his supper. "It is freezing out there" Scott complains, sinking down into his seat and pulling a carton filled with pasta and meatballs and starts to shovel it into his mouth.
Alan is feeding Star more than he is eating. "Look daddy, she is eating my meatball!"
"STAR! Stop stealing Alan's food!" Jeff demands. "And get down from the table" he adds in exasperation. The cat glares at him, before turning his back and starting to lick the back of her paw before washing her ear. "Down" Jeff repeats, but the cat continues to ignore him, so he scoops her up in both hands and carries her from the room. "You are worse than Gordon!" he says, popping her down on the sofa, only for her to beat him back to the kitchen and up into his seat.
"Daddy, what would you do if I was allergic to cats?" Alan asks, while Jeff finishes his dinner standing up.
It is Gordon who answers him. "Easy, we would take you to the pound to be rehomed"
"DADDY!" Alan wails.
"Gordon!" Jeff admonishes but he is grinning. "We would get you some nice allergy shots instead, but you aren't so you don't have to worry. Now I want you all in bed early as we are going shopping for thanksgiving first thing tomorrow morning. Yes Scott, you are coming too. No excuses"
"Define early?" Virgil asks in disgust.
"Well the shop opens at six-thirty. I want you ready and dressed and standing outside the store at six-fifteen" Jeff replies.
"No thanks, that's child abuse" Virgil replies even more disgusted now.
Jeff rolls his eyes in reply. "No. Excuses Virg. OW!"
"What happened?" John asks. As Jeff looks down at his leg, where Lucifer is trying to climb it, his needle-sharp claws inching their way slowly up his jeans.
"Hey, come on, there is no need for claws!" Jeff says, reaching down and taking the cat into his arms.
"What is for dessert dad?" Gordon asks.
"For those who agree to go to bed early and get up tomorrow morning and come shopping without complaint dessert is apple pie and ice cream. If there are any protests then it is grandmas freshly baked cookies" Jeff replies.
"Okay fine" they all reply in unison.
"Much better" Jeff replies, placing Lucifer on the table who immediately helps himself to the left-over sauce on Scott's plate.
"Hey dad, he is better than Gordon at washing up already." John says.
"He isn't wrong dad!" Gordon confirms.
"Maybe you can practise after you have eaten dessert?" Jeff says.
"No thanks Dad, I am perfectly happy with the skills I already have, and besides, it is John's turn" Gordon replies.
"No it is Scott's turn" John replies.
"I am fairly sure it is Virgil's turn" Scott adds.
"Just stack them neatly, and I will do them" Virgil, as ever the family peacemaker, says.
"Thanks Virg!" His brothers reply grinning at him.
*TB*
"Can you believe that dad wants us to go food shopping at six in the morning?" Gordon asks Virgil once they are safely ensconced in their room getting ready for the prescribed early night. He is lying on his bed, already in his pyjamas gazing up at the ceiling while Neko lies on his chest nuzzling his chin with her nose.
"Yep. But just think it is a three-day week and a long weekend!" Virgil reminds him. "And Grandma promised us a ready cooked turkey this year, so we won't have to let her near the kitchen!"
"Doesn't mean I want to get up so early!" Gordon replies. "What are you looking at?"
Virgil is standing by the window, staring out at the frost covered yard. "Nothing. I am just looking." The artist in him wishes he were outside sketching the snow-covered bushes.
"Art daydream again?" Gordon asks.
"Yeah, think dad will notice if I sneak out there for a bit?" Virgil asks.
"Yep!" Gordon replies. "If I were you, I would sneak out anyway, but you don't know how to rebel!"
"It definitely isn't worth it. Are you ready for me to turn the light out?" Virgil asks, closing the curtains and turning away from the window.
"Mmm sure" Gordon replies. "See you at five-thirty"
"Ugh!" is the only response he gets from Virgil before the room is plunged into darkness, and the only sounds left are the purrs coming from Neko.
*TB*
It only feels like he closed his eyes minutes before when the alarm starts to screech dragging him back into the land of the conscious. "No. Not today" Virgil mumbles sleepily, slamming his fist on the snooze button on the top of his alarm clock.
"COME ON YOU TWO, BREAKFAST IS ON THE TABLE" Jeff calls loudly. Flicking the light on and pulling open the curtains.
Neko is the only one who moves as she leaps from Gordon's bed and follows Jeff and the promise of breakfast.
"At least one of my children obeys me" Jeff says, rolling his eyes and grabbing the blanket from Virgil's bed and pulling it away before doing the same to Gordon.
"Can I drive?" Virgil asks, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
"I don't know, how old are you?" Jeff asks.
"Thirteen" Virgil replies.
"Do you have a license?" Jeff asks.
"No" Virgil replies.
"Then I think we both know the answer! Get up now! Both of you" Jeff demands. realising that Gordon has pulled the blanket back over himself and is already asleep again.
"But it is still dark outside, and it is cold" Gordon complains.
"UP!" Jeff shouts before leaving them to get up.
"Come on Squid, I don't think he is in the mood for your antics" Virgil says, pulling him off the bed and onto his feet.
They join Alan, Scott and John for breakfast, all three look tired and cranky and ready to snap at the slightest provocation. John is buttering slightly blackened toast before shovelling the slices into his mouth whole. Scott is stirring his coffee, a vacant expression on his face. Alan is staring at the bowl of cereal in front of him hoping that it finds its own way into his mouth so he doesn't have to pick up the spoon.
"Daddy why do we have to do this so early?" Alan asks again.
Jeff rolls his eyes before launching into his explanation. "I want to get this shopping done before the crowds get in, and I want you all to help. Now go and get dressed and get back here in five minutes with your teeth brushed"
Scott is the first to move. "Come on guys the quicker we get this over with the quicker we can go back to bed!"
"How come the cats are allowed to stay in bed?" Alan groans as he marches his weary body back up the stairs and into his room. Stepping his way gingerly through his designated pathway through the toys and clothes strewn randomly around the room and to the wardrobe where his clean clothes are stashed and slowly and unenthusiastically starts to get dressed. Throwing his discarded pyjamas on the floor before pulling on a t-shirt, hoodie and jeans on. Not bothering with socks and just jamming his bare feet into a pair of trainers.
"Ready daddy" Alan calls running back down the stairs.
Jeff walks out to the car, helping Alan into his booster seat and followed by Gordon and Virgil who automatically claim the back seat for themselves leaving John and Scott to fight over the remaining seats. Scott ordering John into the middle so he can have the window seat. Grandma has the shopping bags and the now four-page list.
"Four pages? This is going to take hours isn't it?" Gordon asks Virgil miserably.
"Yep Squid" Virgil replies. "Just ride it out, because dad is not going to let us out of this one!"
"He is right Squid we are doing this as a family" Jeff confirms.
The sky is just starting to lighten when Jeff reaches the parking lot. "Come on guys. Mom, Scott grab a trolley each and meet me in the store"
Gordon climbs over the side of Scott's trolley and gets comfortable leaning up against the back and plucking a magazine from the shelf and starting to flick through it.
Jeff rolls his eyes again but doesn't tell him to get out. Sitting in the trolley is a lot less dangerous than letting him run around the store!
"Daddy. Grandma won't let me in her trolley" Alan whinges, still clinging onto the end of the trolley.
"Grandma" Jeff pleads, giving him her best puppy dog eyes, ones Gordon has perfected!
"Okay, fine" Grandma groans before lifting him up and putting him in the trolley. "How are we doing this?" she asks Jeff.
Jeff gives her half the list. "We split up. You take Alan and John and the fresh food list and Scott will take Virgil and Gordon and do the rest"
"What are you going to do?" Gordon asks.
"Go and get a coffee, call me when you're done!" Jeff tells them with a grin.
The boys exchange a look with Grandma before rounding on their father and laughing. "Oh no Jeff, you dragged us here in the middle of the night, there is no way that you are escaping that easily"
"And we want to stick together" Gordon adds. "It will be more fun that way!"
Jeff does not believe that this is ever going to be fun, but he agrees to let them stick together as they wander the aisles, taking over Scott's trolley duties so he can browse the shelves. The occasional arguing breaks out, usually when Jeff vetoes adding more chocolate to the trollies.
"Excuse me Sir" someone taps Jeff on the shoulder once they are halfway down aisle number five.
"Yes" Jeff turns round and finds himself face to face with the manager.
"Can you please tell your children to stop throwing grapes at each other, they are going all over the floor and are a trip hazard" the manager says sternly.
"Gordon! Alan! Stop it now!" Jeff demands.
"It wasn't us" Gordon protests in disgust, looking up from his magazine.
"Scott started it" Virgil confirms, flinging one final grape at his eldest brother, who neatly catches in his mouth.
"Did not" Scott fires back.
"Just stop it. or I will leave you both here all day cleaning the store. For free" Jeff tells them.
"Fine. We will behave" Scott promises.
Gordon and Alan are both quickly buried by food for both humans and cats. Fruits, vegetables, joints of meat, cold cuts for sandwiches, ice cream, pastries, fresh bread all go into the trollies. Then they get to the coffee section, and Scott starts to add enough coffee to see him through to Christmas, until Jeff stops him.
He also has to stop Gordon clearing the shelves of celery crunch bars, gently reminding him that other people will want them and that it is selfish to take them all.
"Is that on the list Al?" Jeff asks, as he picks up a twenty-pound box of jellybeans marked at two hundred dollars.
"Yeah right here" Alan replies, pointing to the list.
Sure enough in Gordon's handwriting is "twenty points of jellybeans". Jeff takes the moment to read through the list.
"Why are twelve bottles of wine on the list?" Jeff asks Gordon.
"Grandma told me to add that" Gordon replies.
"And the popcorn maker?" Jeff asks.
"Scott's request" Gordon replies.
"Popping corn?" Jeff asks
"The popcorn maker's request" Gordon replies.
Jeff is getting a headache! "And who asked for three hundred chicken nuggets?"
"The cats!" Gordon replies, rolling his eyes as it is the most obvious question in the world.
"Of course they did!" Jeff replies.
"Why are the Brussel sprouts crossed out?" Jeff asks.
"Because they are yucky, duh!" Gordon replies.
"I like them" Jeff advises him.
"Weirdo" Gordon says.
"Love you too Gordo" Jeff says.
Jeff lets them get the popcorn maker, and the jellybeans and even agrees to get Grandma her wine, knowing that she has earned it!
They are almost done, nearly two hours after their arrival when Jeff gets to the bottom of the list and gasps in horror. "Why do we need a new oven?"
"That's Grandma's fault" Gordon says.
"It was an accident. I didn't know there was a plastic bowl in there with the fish you were defrosting. By the way, you also need some more fish, and a plastic bowl." Grandma says, grabbing the list and adding the additional items.
Jeff doesn't even look at the final total, as he organises the new oven to be delivered in the morning before finally leaving the store.
"That was not so bad was it?" he asks as he loads the shopping bags into the very back of the car. There are so many bags, that the entire back row is buried in shopping leaving no room for Virgil and Gordon.
"See you boys" Grandma calls grinning while they stand waiting by the car.
"You didn't think this through did you dad?" Virgil asks.
"Stay here, and I will send Scott back for you" Jeff promises.
"Yeah right. Hey Scott! We will be in McDonalds" Virgil replies.
"I WANNA GO WITH THEM!" Alan cries, trying to get back out the car.
"Fine, you can all go to McDonalds, and I will come and get you once I have unloaded the shopping" Jeff gives in.
John and Scott both agree to join them with Jeff's credit card!
"You do know you could have just ordered them a taxi?" Grandma asks once they have driven away from the store.
"Nah, they're good kids. They deserve junk food every now and again" Jeff replies.
"And I deserve wine" Grandma says.
"Yeah" Jeff agrees. "You really do mom"
