Harry was exhausted. It was late. And he still had a class tomorrow that he hadn't finished his homework for and if he was late again the Professor really was going to string him up this time. So no, he didn't want to have yet another conversation about anything related to what was wrong with his cousin, what was wrong with himself, or what was wrong with the rest of the Wizarding world - because right now it seemed like everything was just wrong no matter how much Harry tried to do the right thing.
But when had things ever gone the way Harry wanted them to? Hermione was visibly shaking she was so worked up. Ron wasn't much better, going by the angry look on his face. Harry sighed as they came up to their floor, wondering how long before the dam broke and how long it would take to weather through it before he could finally go to bed. Apparently they were close enough, or his sigh was the secret cue to get this over with, because Hermione suddenly stopped and spun around to face Harry.
And then she hugged him. Hard.
Hermione only had one kind of hug, and it was the kind that sort of felt more like she was trying to tackle you at first. You had to learn to plant your feet when you saw her coming at you because she certainly never did things half-heartedly. Normally the hugs only lasted for a few moments. Maybe longer if one of them had almost gotten themselves killed. But this one seemed to go on and on and Harry wasn't quite sure if he was supposed to end it or not, or how to, or if he wanted to.
Then Ron was patting him on the back, hesitantly at first, before turning it into an awkward arm around his shoulder that almost seemed to hug both Harry and Hermione.
"I'm okay," Harry whispered. Because apparently that was in question. Or at least, he assumed it was. He wasn't sure why else everyone would be hugging him like something bad had happened.
Hermione sniffled and Harry both hugged her tighter and wanted to run all the way back to Konoha and hid under the Uchiha house porch.
"You don't ever let him do that again, do you hear me Harry Potter?"
"I wasn't planning on," Harry retorted. "It's not exactly like he makes it a habit."
"He damn well better not," Ron muttered before shifting uncomfortably. He was taller than both of them and had no trouble reaching over their shoulders, but he seemed as ill at ease with this hugging business as Harry was. "Can we maybe sit down for this part?" he suggested. "We're kind of in the middle of the hall. And yeah, it's the middle of the night, but that doesn't mean no one else is out and about when they shouldn't be."
Which was a rather valid point considering the number of times they were out when they shouldn't have been and heard all manner of secrets. Hermione finally pulled away, brushing her hair back from her face and giving him the oddest shaky smile. Harry tried smiling back and started to make his way to the common room but Ron caught him around the shoulders and nudged him in the opposite direction.
"Don't think this is a conversation for in there either," he added. "Bunch of vultures, even the good ones."
Harry sighed and didn't fight it. There didn't seem to be a lot of point in resisting any of his friends these days. They all had very firm ideas of what they thought was best for him and there was only so much standing up against that tide that he could manage in one night. Maybe if they were actually yelling at him it would be easier to get angry back, but this morose sort of worry was hard to challenge.
They found a decent alcove, not nearly private, but at least it gave them a little bit of cover while still making it easy to see if anyone else was lurking about. With the map spread out between them, they sat down, huddled in a circle. Hermione's wand was still in her hand like she thought she might still need it and she tapped it restlessly against her knee. She was watching Harry with almost the same intensity that Sasuke usually had, as if he'd somehow make more sense if she stared long enough. Meanwhile Ron wouldn't look at either of them and it was one of the more awkward meetings they had ever had.
Harry's temple was starting to hurt but he didn't want to rub at the sore spot while the others were watching. He'd had harder hits in a game of Quidditch, but his brain still felt a bit scrambled from the knock. "It's not that late," he finally muttered, even though it felt like it was. "How'd you know to come looking for me?"
Ron snorted. "You've been sneaking off for weeks and not telling us something. We figured it had to be something to do with them," he said, as if they were now some kind of foul word. "But then your cousin shows up demanding to know where the hell you are when you're supposed to be with him? Didn't take a genius to figure out something was up."
"He's not as subtle as he thinks he is," Hermione added curtly. It took Harry a moment to realize she meant Sasuke, but she was right. He really didn't do subtlety very well. Sneaking around, yes, but being understated about anything? Not so much.
Harry rubbed at his face. "I should have known better," he muttered. "I tried to tell the Headmaster that Sasuke was going to notice eventually, but he insisted he had it under control. Sasuke must have freaked when he figured it out."
"Does that happen often with him?" Hermione asked slowly.
Harry shrugged.
Hermione sighed. "We're not not discussing this, Harry. I'm sorry it's uncomfortable but this is too important to just ignore. Your cousin hit you."
"Not really," Harry hedged. Part of Harry was happy to have this conversation as long as they weren't asking (yet) about what he and the Headmaster had actually been up to these last few weeks. He didn't want to have to lie to them too and he didn't want to have yet another row about it with someone else. Once was enough for the day, thank you very much. But it was also chilling to think what must have happened after they had left Slughorn's. Had his attackers actually been after Harry or the Headmaster? If they had stayed just a little bit later this time around, could they have done something to help him?
What if it happened again? Would it not be safe for him to go anywhere now? It was miserable to think about, and he actually really wished he could talk about it with Ron and Hermione. Sasuke and the rest of Team 7 would overreact, but Ron and Hermione understood things better. Between the three of them they could probably come up with a good plan for what to do now. But the Headmaster didn't want anyone knowing. Which meant that tomorrow morning when it was in all the newspapers, Harry would have to pretend that nothing had happened, that he didn't know anything. And completely ignore anything Ron or Hermione said to him about it. Having the two of them so worried about him now when he knew he couldn't tell them the truth just made him feel miserable.
"Look, I know you don't like Sasuke, and I appreciate that you're worried for me. Really, I do. But I've spent half the summer with them, back in Konoha. That's just how they are about things. I mean, Sasuke and Naruto shouldn't fight as much as they do, but they're a lot rougher with each other than that."
"This has nothing to do with if I like Sasuke or not," Hermione replied and when he gave her a look she rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't get me wrong, I think he's rude, that's for sure. And right now I'd like nothing better than to hex him three ways from Sunday, but that's exactly the point. I'm not out there right now hurting him because he doesn't agree with me."
Harry flinched. "Sasuke wasn't hurting me!"
"Then why do you keep rubbing at where he grabbed your arm?" Ron piped up. His face was flushed and he glared at Harry's arm like it was partially to blame. "And from where we were standing that looked like one hell of a punch to me."
Harry shrugged. "Not really," Harry explained but it was clear neither of them really understood what that meant. "Sasuke can punch through a wall. If he really hit me, I probably wouldn't have gotten back up."
"He hit you hard enough to knock you off your feet," Ron argued. "That goes way beyond too much."
"Oh and you never get into it with your brothers?"
"Sure, I do" Ron agreed far too easily. "We yell and scream at each other all the time. And we've had more than one tussle for the quaffle or for the last of the sweets. But I've never had one of them pull back and hit me in the face like that. And they'd never ever gone after me like that when they were mad. And trust me, we've gotten plenty mad at each other at one time or another over the years."
Sasuke was always angry though, that was just the way he was, but Harry didn't think his friends would understand that. They hadn't seen the horror and fear that sometimes came over the other boy when he thought he had failed at something. They didn't understand how knowing someone had died because you weren't strong enough could leave you feeling constantly angry. And afraid. Of course Sasuke was the way he was. It didn't make him any less annoying or difficult at times like this, but what could you do?
Harry huffed. "So you're only mad at him because of why he hit me, not that he did?"
"Yes."
Harry looked back and forth between the two of them. Both of them had agreed. "I – I don't think I understand."
"Has he ever hit you before?" Hermione asked.
Harry shook his head right away but she only scowled even more.
"Okay, has he ever not-hit you like he did tonight?"
Harry huffed. "Look, there's more to it than just that. You don't-"
"There isn't more to it than that, Harry. Look, I know that growing up with the Dursleys couldn't have given you a very good idea of what-"
"Sasuke has nothing to do with the Dursleys!" Harry objected, horrified at the very idea.
"- of what is normal or acceptable when it comes to family, but this is completely unacceptable."
"Hermione! That's enough!" Harry snapped, starting to finally lose his own temper.
"No! What if he had hit me like that?" she demanded.
"Don't be ridiculous. Sasuke wouldn't hit you."
"And what if it was my father who hit me like that?" she demanded and Harry hesitated. Hermione never talked about her family at school. He always thought it was because it was so hard to connect anything at Hogwarts with what life was like back in the muggle world. There weren't a lot of conversations you could have about the real world that would make sense to most of the people here.
"What if I came back to school with a bruise like the one you're getting?" Hermione continued, as relentless as ever.
Harry reached up and touched the warm spot on the side of his face. He'd managed to catch most of the blow on his forearm, but the skin was still tender to the touch and felt inflamed. Nothing a healing charm couldn't fix, but he couldn't cast a healing charm on himself. He'd have to get one of the others to help him if he wanted to get it fixed before breakfast tomorrow.
He had a feeling Hermione wasn't up for being asked.
She was still staring at him, waiting for an answer. Ron was silent beside them, not so much as a sigh or an eye roll in response to Hermione going on at length. Normally he couldn't help at least a bit of teasing commentary, but now he was as quiet as a statue, watching and waiting for something.
What if Hermione came to school with a bruise? It was hard to imagine. Much less that her father would do something like that. Hermione was smart and stayed out of trouble for the most part and her parents sounded nice and like they liked being her parents. There was no reason they would hit her.
"What if I said someone in one of the other houses was now my new favorite friend, but then you saw them put poison in my food, or push me down, or slap me across the face-"
"Alright!" Harry interrupted, "I think I get the point."
Hermione took a deep breath, "I don't think you actually do, but maybe you're starting to. What would you do? You or Ron? Would you shrug and say I deserved it?"
Ron gave him an unnecessarily hard stare that made it clear what he better say, as if the answer wasn't obvious. "No, of course not," Harry agreed.
"Would you say it was okay because I had been annoying that person? Or that it was okay because that person was a good person so it must be okay for them to hit me, or-"
"Hermione!" Harry cut her off, "I said I get it, can you stop now?" Because even though it was a stupid hypothetical and nothing like what was going on between him and Sasuke, the very idea was making him far angrier than something that hadn't even happened should have been able to.
"I don't know, Harry," Hermione said in a deceptively calm voice. "Can I stop now? Do you understand how horrible that would be? How angry it would make your friends? How important it would be to defend someone from something like that, even if they said it was their friend and it didn't count because it could have hurt worse so that made it okay?"
Harry sighed. "Look, I'm not saying it was good,"
"It was horrible, Harry, and he never should have done it."
"But it is a bit more complicated than that," Harry finished firmly.
"How so?" Ron asked and didn't back down when Hermione gave him a severe look. "I'm not saying it excuses anything, but I'm curious what he's got to say. Personally, I think your cousin is an ass that needs a good punch himself."
Harry glared at him and when Hermione saw, she huffed and muttered "that he's upset about," but she didn't argue any further than that.
Harry rubbed his face. "Look, Sasuke – he's just worried, alright?" He wished he could just leave it at that, but at Hermione's derisive snort he figured he had better find a better way to explain it. "He doesn't have any other family either, okay?" he finally settled on, because that was what mattered the most. "His family's all dead and he didn't know I existed until this summer and he's seriously, completely, freaked out that I might die too, and let's be honest, I don't have the best track record at not almost getting killed. Death Eaters found us in Konoha. They attacked his house. Burnt his arm and almost killed Naruto. It was awful and he's got the right to be freaked out."
"That stinks," Ron agreed easily, "but that doesn't justify anything."
How to explain the whole jumbled mess? Harry argued with his cousin all of the time, but he always knew the other boy was trying. Sure, his idea of trying might be being overly controlling and freaking out about stupid things, but it was better than him not caring. Sasuke might be used to danger, and he might think he was better at fighting than Harry, but he also had never fought a wizard before this summer. He was new to all this and freaked out and Harry could kind of understand that. The very idea of his cousin dealing with Death Eaters made his hands shake. So while Harry was plenty used to getting mad at Sasuke, he couldn't stay mad.
"He was upset because he didn't think I was being careful enough and he doesn't trust me to know how to take care of myself." And yes, Harry was annoyed at him, damn it. Furious even, for the fight and the hit. But he also knew it was the kind of fruitless fury that was just going to make him feel worse and not help with anything at all. Explaining that maybe, in this case, Sasuke might actually be in the right and have had a good reason to be mad would lead to very uncomfortable questions about things Harry miserably couldn't talk about.
Hermione frowned as she worked all of that over in her mind before sighing softly. "I hate to say it, but at least he understands that you're far too reckless."
"Hey!"
"Don't. It's the closest to not hating him that I'm going to get. Maybe he's not a terrible person, but Harry, he clearly has issues."
Harry huffed a laugh. "Yeah, I'd noticed." Understatement of the year. That was part of why Harry was trying so hard not to make this more difficult on him than he already did. He understood that there was nothing about his life that made other people's lives easier. At least Sasuke cared enough to stick it out and worry about what happened to him.
Hermione nodded finally. "Fine. Boundaries. We need to set up rules," she decided without asking the rest of them.
"This isn't a class project," Harry complained.
"No, it's the life and well-being of our friend. So. You're not allowed to be alone with any of them until we're convinced that they can control their tempers like civilized people."
"Hermione, they're not wild-"
"You two can yell at each other all you want, but the second he raises his hand like that again, I get to hex him into next week."
"That's a bit much, don't you-"
"He apologizes."
Harry laughed. "Good luck with that one."
"We tell the teachers," Hermione continued.
"Absolutely not!"
"I get to punch him back," Ron added cheerfully.
Both Hermione and Harry scowled back at him but he didn't back down at all. "What? He hit my best friend. I'm allowed to hit him back."
"Not helpful, Ronald."
"Don't care, Hermione."
"You're being ridiculous, Hermione," Harry argued. "Can't we just pretend this didn't happen and I'll make sure it doesn't happen again?"
"First off, it's not your responsibility to make sure this doesn't happen again. It just shouldn't. Second, I don't actually trust you to follow through on that."
"I can't not be around them, Hermione. We have training we do, training on how to defend myself and maybe use chakra if I can manage it. That's too important."
She waved that way. "That's easy. One of us will go with you from now on. If they don't want to work with us, that's fine. We can sit and do homework."
"Some of us would rather do the other stuff," Ron muttered but it wasn't actually an objection.
"And what if something comes up? I'm not going to avoid them just because Sasuke and I got into a fight. Naruto and Sakura didn't even do anything wrong!"
Hermione scowled. "I'm not convinced that they're any better, but fine. Just Sasuke."
"He's my cousin, Hermione," because honestly, she was being ridiculous.
"He's an ill-mannered brute and I don't trust him not to hurt you. Not negotiable. I'll go straight to the professors, otherwise." At his dark, infuriated look, she rushed to continue. "I don't want to Harry, but you said it yourself, he could have seriously hurt you. He might not even mean to, but if he's hitting you, what happens if he hits too hard one time? Not that anything is acceptable, but I'm not willing to risk the odds with your life. I don't care how much it makes you hate me, I'm not letting him hurt you."
"I don't hate you," Harry gritted out. "Even if you can be really annoying sometimes."
"Thank you," she said seriously. "Probation. You don't spend any time with Sasuke alone until he proves he can control his temper. Ron and I will go with you to training. Maybe we can even help. And your cousin can prove to me, in the meantime, that what happened tonight really was just a big mistake."
"And you won't go to the teachers?"
She sighed. "We really ought to. But I suppose they would complicate things for us. Fine, no teachers. But you keep your word on this, Harry Potter. I mean it. And he needs to apologize. And he needs to mean it. None of this matters if he doesn't recognize that what he did was wrong."
"Geez, Hermione! Sasuke's not exactly the apologizing type. It's hard enough to get him to recognize that maybe he doesn't know everything."
"All the more reason he should apologize and thoroughly. If he won't then I get to have a long, thorough talk with him about how horrible of a human being he has been."
Harry groaned. He didn't know what would be worse, but it was also a problem for another day. "Fine. Whatever. Are we good now?"
"I get to punch him!" Ron repeated.
"No."
"But-"
"More violence isn't going to help this," Hermione scowled.
"And I doubt you could manage it," Harry muttered.
"Besides, hexes are much more efficient," Hermione added and Harry stared at her aghast. "What? Maybe you should make sure he understands that. He does this again and we won't have to worry about the teachers. I'll make sure there's nothing left of him to worry about," she promised.
