Author's Notes:

PAIRINGS: Leorio/Kurapika (Leopika).

RATING: Mature.

SPOILERS? Yes, until chapter 390 of the Hunter x Hunter manga by Yoshihiro Togashi. You may want to click off until you've caught up with the Succession War Arc, or have decided that you don't care. I do attempt to explain the context for the uninitiated.


Chapter 42: Red velvet strawberry shortcake

Leorio isn't at all surprised that the story of Kurapika and his flowers travels fast from the nurses' station. Alternately ignoring or waggling his eyebrows at his fellow residents' jabs about his swoon-worthy and blatantly enamored suitor, Leorio dashes through his final clerical duties for the day at record speed. He then rushes into the staff bathroom and jumps into the shower to wash off all his workday muck.

Fortunately, there's a spare set of clothes in Leorio's locker, which consists of a crumpled white button-down shirt and navy slacks a size too tight, back from a time when he worked out with much less faithful regularity. Could be a lot better, but nothing's worse than showing up to a date in blood-flecked scrubs, right?

At eleven on the dot, Leorio races toward the parking lot. Kurapika is already there, leaning on his car and flipping through a pocket book as he waits. When Leorio arrives at his side, Kurapika closes the book and opens the door to the passenger's seat.


Kurapika might have mentioned knowing an array of 24-hour restaurants, but Leorio never expected the eventual choice to be quite this romantic.

As Kurapika gazes at Leorio's face over rosewood-scented candlelight, Leorio is determined to stare at literally anything except Kurapika's eyes. Leorio already knows how prone he is to losing his train of thought whenever that happens.

Leorio focuses his attention on the mini ceramic pot on the table between them, which carries a cluster of tiny-petalled blooms. Leorio starts, remembering something.

"Ah, Kurapika, about your flowers. . . ."

"Yes?" Kurapika prompts.

"After you left, I took the flowers with me when I dropped by to check on a patient. She was an old woman, fuzzy and all due to a combination of dementia and anesthesia. She thought I was her son, thought I brought her the flowers to cheer her up, so. . . ."

"So you couldn't say no," Kurapika says gently. "I understand perfectly. If those flowers brightened not only your day but also your patient's, then I couldn't be happier."

"Really? Even though you got those flowers for me?"

"I can always get you more."

"You don't have to," Leorio tells him. "No offense, but I'm not a flowers type of guy anyway."

"I'll take note of that from now on. Are you at least a food type of guy?" Kurapika gestures toward the delicacies that the waiter is now setting over the table.

"Hell yeah!"

Without further ado, they both dig in.

Leorio's enthusiasm is only slightly dampened by the awareness that every selection in sight is a known aphrodisiac. Kurapika can perhaps be blamed for choosing this specific restaurant, but it's not like he can control its unconventional menu, which only appears to feature dishes aggressively catered to romantic couplings.

Like Pyon did the day before, Kurapika asks Leorio to update him on what has been going on in his life.

"So you're a Disease Hunter," Kurapika says once Leorio has finished explaining everything. "That sounds perfect for you. You know, that friend of yours, the one you told me about during the first phase of the Hunter Exam —"

"Pietro."

"Yes. If Pietro could look at you now, I'm sure that he'd glow with immense pride, seeing this altruistic and honorable man that you've become."

Leorio shyly scratches his nape. "Eh . . . forget about that for a moment. What happened to your hunt, Kurapika?"

"I managed to retrieve and bury most of the scarlet eyes that Prince Tserriednich discarded during the voyage. Unfortunately, a number of the eyes were permanently lost, most likely swallowed by sea creatures or eroded into nothingness by natural elements."

Leorio winces. "Damn, that sucks."

"Indeed. But all things considered, that hunt could have gone much worse. I've now scoured both lands and seas to bring my family's scattered remains together again. The mission wasn't an unqualified success, to be sure, but it was far from a failure. And I owe all that to the invaluable assistance of Melody and a team of trackers."

"Ah, how's Melody been doing these days? Okay, I hope?"

Kurapika smiles. "She's doing better than okay. She's undone her curse."

Leorio gapes. "Seriously? That's awesome! How'd she do it?"

"You see, once I wrapped up the hunt for the scarlet eyes, I appointed Melody as the boss of the Nostrade family before leaving again to look for the Sonata of Darkness. Melody had been searching for it for so long, and after everything that she'd done for me, I was determined to return the favor. I soon found the Sonata's source, and Melody and I destroyed it together."

Leorio just stares. Kurapika has certainly been up to a lot these past five years, hasn't he? Leave it to him to maximize every minute. "Are you and Melody still with Nostrade, then?"

"We are. Since I first took the helm, I always sought to divorce the business of Nostrade from its unsavory beginnings among mafia circles. Under my strict supervision, the Nostrade family derived its income solely through fully legitimate sources in the gaming and private security industries. These ongoing restructuring efforts fell apart while Melody and I were away, but Melody got everything back on track soon enough. She still serves as Nostrade's de jure head, while I continue to furnish advice and support to the upper echelon."

"Then you're working with Nostrade, while also working on the reform initiative at the Hunter Association. . . ."

"I'm also sitting on the Association's Disciplinary Committee," Kurapika adds. "Mizai, who chairs the Committee, invited me to join. I thought it might be interesting, so I accepted."

"Sounds like you've got a hectic life, to say the least."

"Hmm . . . not as hectic as your long hours in the hospital, I'd imagine. I've even managed to set aside time to attend night classes at a nearby law school."

Leorio's jaw drops in awe. "Law school? Then you're going to be a lawyer too, on top of everything else?"

"That's the goal. I intend to follow your lead and work pro bono, of course. I do possess an ability that equips me with a significant advantage over certain functions that prosecutors and judges have to perform." Kurapika holds out his right hand over the table. His chains materialize, and the Dowsing Chain dangles down from his ring finger.

Leorio stiffens as unpleasant memories come flooding back. "Um, I don't know about this, Kurapika."

"Given all the shit that I've pulled with these chains in the past, I understand your reservations completely. But the good thing about the Dowsing Chain is, along with the Holy Chain, its ability can function almost perfectly even without activating Emperor Time."

Upon hearing those last two words, Leorio flinches violently.

"I haven't activated Emperor Time in four years, Leorio," Kurapika quietly assures him.

But this information only causes Leorio to fret even more. "Then don't tell me — were you recklessly using Emperor Time for a full year after we separated on the Black Whale?!"

"No, that's not quite what happened. I could search for the scarlet eyes just as easily using the default mode of the Dowsing Chain, but that wasn't the problem. The truth was . . . Emperor Time had fundamentally broken within the last week or so of the Succession War. It got to the point where I was using it — abusing it — so frequently that I would instinctively activate it in response to even the slightest stimuli, then struggle, sometimes for hours, to deactivate it afterward. The last time you saw me with my eyes scarlet — that was the last time I ever used Emperor Time on purpose. Even so, it took arduous effort to restore calm to my careening impulses, to regain a sense of self-discipline. . . ."

Leorio buries his face in his hands and groans. "A year. A goddamn year."

"I had it more or less under control in a few months, but I slipped numerous times after that point. I could have done a lot better, but if I had continued with my trajectory of overuse during the war, then I definitely wouldn't be alive today."

Leorio feels Kurapika's hand rubbing his shoulder in a soothing manner. The chains have vanished again, Leorio notices.

"I'm sorry for always worrying you like this," Kurapika says softly. "It's a shitty thing to do to my favorite person."

Leorio's voice is muffled against his palms. "Yeah, I've heard that one before."

"I do mean it this time."

Leorio finally stops hiding his face. He reaches up to pat the hand that still caresses his shoulder. Seeing that Leorio's mood has stabilized somewhat, Kurapika withdraws his hand.

"You've really been good for the past four years?" Leorio presses. "Do you promise?"

"Yes, I promise. Considering everything that happened during the war, and the state that I was in when it ended, I just had to make a change. I couldn't keep going on that same way."

"That must have been a huge wake-up call, huh?"

Kurapika nods. "Exactly that. Back then, I believed that it was too late for me, but this sweet person snapped me out of the depths of my despair. He reminded me that I could be more than what I was settling for. And I swore to myself that, no matter what, I had to live long enough to thank him personally. So . . . thank you, Leorio." Kurapika is staring intently into Leorio's eyes, as if attempting to convey the profound meaning behind these simple words of gratitude.

"Don't mention it, Kurapika. That's what friends are for, right?"

"You know, I thought it was a touch ironic when you called me a 'lifesaver' earlier. That's literally who you are, who you were always meant to be."

Leorio's hand jumps to the back of his neck again — a habit borne out of his tendency to frequently stumble into embarrassing moments. "Don't you think you're idealizing the medical profession too much? I mean, we're just people too."

"Maybe so, and I can't speak for every patient in the world, but I can speak for myself. I know with 100% certainty that my encounter with this kind, intelligent, attractive nurse — who's now a resident assigned to trauma surgery — convinced me that I wasn't too far gone to seek help. So that's what I did."

Leorio is struggling to sustain the conversation despite Kurapika's lavish heaps of praise upon him. "You're seeing a therapist, then?"

"I searched for a long time for someone suitable for me. As it turns out, that part was even harder than hunting for the eyes. You know how proud I am. You know how stubbornly I've held on to my self-sufficiency."

"Yeah, no kidding." Leorio has experienced no shortage of dealing with that side of Kurapika. "But you did find someone right for you, eventually?"

"Eventually. I was fortunate. Each time I wanted to give up, I had friends who spurred me on through every moment of doubt."

"Like Melody and Mizaistom?"

"Right," Kurapika says. "Gon, Killua, and Alluka too. Those three may be traveling the world as we speak, but they don't feel far away from me at all. I can always reach them with the simple click of a button. I do meet up with them personally whenever they happen to be close by. Who knows, I might even join them on an adventure at some point, once I've secured my license to practice law."

There's something that Leorio needs to bring up now. Something that has been gnawing at his conscience this whole time. "Kurapika, I . . . I should have been there too. To support you. If a part of you will always hate me for pulling that disappearing act on you, I get it. And I'm sorry."

Kurapika shakes his head. "You were only chasing your dreams like the rest of us. I'd be the last person to resent you for that."

"That doesn't excuse the total radio silence from my end," Leorio insists. "Even though I understood that you were having the worst time of your life. . . . Even though I told you that I'd be there for you, to keep reminding you that you're a good person . . . I abandoned you instead. I never got back to you, never replied to your emails or letters. I deleted them — burned them — before getting the chance to read them. . . ."

A short silence follows, then Kurapika says, "You never read any of my messages?"

"Not one. I'm so sorry, Kurapika."

Kurapika takes a deep breath. "Look, Leorio. I heard from Gon and Killua that you were safe, and that was good enough for me. Besides, I'm the one who should be apologizing here. I should have accepted long ago that the lack of replies from you could only mean one thing — you weren't interested in maintaining any sort of connection. Our time together on the Black Whale was a lot for you, too much for you."

"That's not true. I . . . I was just scared."

"I'm aware that I scared you away. How could you not be turned off, after everything I did? Despite knowing this, I went so far as to brazenly lock down some alone time with you — you who, by omission, had made it abundantly clear that you wanted nothing to do with me."

"But I'm here right now," Leorio says. "I accepted your invitation."

"I made it hard for you to say no, didn't I? How could you reject me when I asked you out publicly in your workplace, with an obnoxious bouquet of flowers that you gave away at the earliest opportunity?"

"Hey, I honestly found your flowers beautiful. I didn't want to give them away. Are you asking me to fight that old lady tooth and nail to get your bouquet back?"

But Kurapika doesn't seem to hear this last joke. He's gripping his fork and knife over the table and blinking rapidly. "Leorio, if I'm reading more into what was simply a perfunctory embrace from you yesterday, please let me know. I'll respect your decision if you want a new life away from everything that happened five years ago. If I can never be a part of your life anymore — if that's what you wanted all along — then I'll suck it up, I'll understand —"

"No! I never wanted that!"

In his sudden burst of indignation, Leorio has shoved his chair backward, leapt to his feet, and slammed his palms down on the table's surface, which causes all the cutlery and plates to jump. The couples sitting at the neighboring tables whip their heads around to watch them, perhaps itching for the melodrama of a lovers' quarrel.

Leorio sheepishly takes his seat. His voice is back to its regular volume when he speaks again. "I — I'm sorry for shouting at you."

"I'm sorry too. I was getting carried away, to put things lightly. We're veering into sticky territory now. I believe that we need to, sooner or later, but this probably isn't the best place for that. We can leave, if you want? Continue this conversation in a more private location?"

"No, no. We haven't even finished eating." Although his appetite has deserted him, Leorio picks up his fork again. "Maybe you can tell me about therapy. I want to hear all about it."

"About therapy? Which part of it interests you?"

"What do you talk to your therapist about?"

Thoughtful now, Kurapika swills around the wine in his goblet, then takes a small sip. "I've been seeing my current therapist for close to three years now, so I've covered pretty much everything with them. They have a way of drawing out the stories that I've suppressed without even realizing it, or aspects of stories that I've denied or conveniently forgotten about. I've talked about my childhood, the war, the Phantom Troupe, the people the Troupe killed, people I killed, all my regrets, all my maladaptive habits, Emperor Time. . . . Nothing is off-limits with them, really."

"Wow."

"If it's difficult to go through these things on my own, it's much harder for me to process them with someone else. Even so, I truly believe that my decision to actively seek therapy was the best one I've ever made. Most of the things my therapist told me, I already knew, at least on a surface level. I'd read all the books explaining why I was feeling the way I was feeling. However, I failed to internalize those concepts. The defenses that I'd built to protect myself were too high to hurdle on my own. Therapy helps me get around those walls." Kurapika smiles. "I'm truly grateful that I've lived long enough to be where I am and who I am right now."

"I . . . I'm so fucking proud of you, Kurapika."

"I couldn't have done any of it alone. It's all thanks to you, to my friends, and to my therapist that I'm still here."

"It's because you can say that while smiling that I feel so proud of you!" Leorio may be talking too loudly again, but the obvious joy in his tone no longer draws their neighbors' attention. "See, I always knew you could turn things around! You did it! I was right!"

"Yes, you were right all along."

"I don't mean to gloat, but it makes me so freaking happy to see you this happy!"

Kurapika quietly observes Leorio, then he says, "There it is. Right there."

Leorio just looks blankly at Kurapika. He has no clue as to what Kurapika means by this.

"That sort of approving expression that you showed me just now, I tend to picture it whenever I've done something good," Kurapika explains. "Even for the smallest successes, I imagine you smiling at me like that. I've made this peculiar habit of it." Kurapika rubs his chin contemplatively. "I hope you won't take offense, but picturing your distinctive crying face is just as helpful, if not more. Whenever I'm sorely tempted to activate Emperor Time, I imagine you crying. It's a surprisingly effective trick to discourage myself from giving in to my baser instincts."

"Eh. . . ." Leorio is so stunned that he genuinely can't think of anything intelligent to say.

"Sorry, this must all sound exceedingly creepy. I shouldn't have mentioned something so strange."

"Not creepy!" Leorio swiftly corrects, as he feels his face heating up again. "It's . . . flattering, I guess? I'm surprised that you think of me that often, even when I'm not there."

"Surprised? I've sent you so many messages, and you're still surprised? Leorio, I think about you all the goddamn time."

By now, Leorio's face must be redder than this slice of red velvet strawberry shortcake, half-eaten on his plate.

Kurapika is inching his hand across the table toward Leorio's. Leorio stares, transfixed, as Kurapika finally closes the distance. Kurapika's fingertips glide over the back of Leorio's hand, stroking the subtle discoloration of veins, then dip into the interstices between Leorio's fingers. Kurapika lightly rubs against the interdigital folds — such minuscule patches of skin, and yet shockingly sensitive. Who would have guessed? Leorio learns something wondrous and new every time Kurapika touches him, it seems.

"Is this okay, Leorio?" Kurapika asks. "Can I hold your hand?"

Leorio nods mutely.

Kurapika lifts Leorio's hand from the table. His index finger traces circles over Leorio's palm — smaller spheres slowly expanding into larger ones. Gently, he pulls Leorio's hand to his lips. He plants a soft kiss over each of Leorio's knuckles, gazing tenderly into Leorio's eyes the entire time.

Leorio is frozen on the outside, but he's freaking out on the inside. Argh! How can Kurapika even claim to be single?! There's no way in hell that this guy isn't breaking hearts all over the place, as effortlessly smooth as he is!

"I'm not hungry for food anymore," Kurapika murmurs against Leorio's hand. "How about you? Do you want to get out of here?"