I don't own Sailor Moon, nor did I create it. Naoko Takeuchi created Sailor Moon, this is just my alternate universe version, a sort of "If I created Sailor Moon" story...
Note: Any dialogue written like this is in a foreign language, the language, unless Japanese, will be specified.
CHAPTER 42: HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION #13
BULL SESSION
AUGUST 1, 1987
"Kaua Hoku here," Jerry Logue said into his communicator.
"Kaua Hoku, this is Big Bird," John McCoy said into his communicator. "Where are you, anyways?"
"Army/Navy surplus store next to the Regal Beagle," Jerry said.
"What are you doing there?" John asked.
"Buying a backpack," Jerry said. "I gave mine a real beating last year, I'm surprised it made it through the whole year."
"I hear you there," John said. "I'm going to get a new one before school starts myself. But why buy one there?"
"These are made for the Army," Jerry said. "They're made to take a beating, and they're a bit bigger than what you get at K-Mart or Miller's Outpost."
"Fair enough," John said. "Anyways, there's a, Sailor Soldier meeting at the fallout shelter in Rae Hino's backyard."
"I wasn't aware I was a Sailor Soldier," Jerry said.
"Neither am I," John said. "But I've been with them pretty much from the beginning. When you're a suburban vigilante, or if you prefer the term, superhero, sometimes you need to work with others."
"I'll be there in a bit," Jerry said. "I just finished up when you called, I'll hop right on my bike, and I'll be there in a bit."
"You have time," John said. "It's only 10:15, and the meeting is at noon. Lunch will be provided, we're having pizza. What do you like on yours?"
"I prefer pepperoni, ham, sausage, or bacon," Jerry said. "Pretty much anything but mushrooms, olives, anchovies, or bell peppers."
"Pepperoni, sausage, and bacon okay?" John asked. "That's what everyone else likes."
"That's perfect," Jerry said.
"And we're getting soda as well," John said. "Any preference?"
"Anything but cream soda," Jerry said. "But if my choices are Coke and Pepsi, I'll take Coke."
"Just be here by noon," John said. "We have a little surprise for you."
"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Jerry asked. "Not even a hint?"
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," John said.
"I'll see all y'all at noon," Jerry said. As he finished up at the Army/Navy Surplus Store, he put the backpack he bought on his back, and hopped on the back of his motorcycle. He started it up, revving the engine to life. He rode up Harbor Boulevard, making a right turn on Brea Boulevard, riding it to Imperial Highway, stopping for gas at a Mobil station across the street from the Brea Mall. After filling his tank, he went back to his dad's house.
"John called for you a couple minutes ago," Bonnie said, as Jerry entered the house through the door from the garage, where he parked his Harley-Davidson SS-350. "He said you don't need to call him back, he just wanted me to tell you that if you did buy a backpack, bring it to the meeting."
"Did he say what for?" Jerry asked.
"Your father and I have been sworn to secrecy," Bonnie said. "And I told Steve if he even breathes a word to you, he'll be grounded until his grandchildren have grandchildren, so don't ask him."
"Anyways," Jerry said, "I'm going to grab a quick shower before I head over to Rae's."
"She's Sailor Mars, right?" Bonnie asked.
"Yeah," Jerry said. "She lives in an older tract over by Tuffree, she has a fallout shelter in her backyard, which we use for a headquarters. And get this, Rae's mom was my teacher my first go-round in the fifth grade."
"Usagi filled us in on the Sailor Soldiers," Jerry Lee said. "Of course, you already told me that Usagi's mom and your uncle Tommy were friends in high school."
"Sailor Mercury's uncle is Ford's cousin," Jerry said.
"Ford?" Jerry Lee asked.
"You remember my mom's friend Frances," Jerry said. "Her husband."
"Oh yeah," Jerry Lee said. "And whose mom works with your mom at the bank?"
"You mean, besides John?" Jerry asked. "Sailor Venus. Her mom started just after Thanksgiving."
"Okay," Jerry Lee said.
"Sailor Earth is Colleen's daughter," Jerry said.
"My friend who owns Cavern Records?" Bonnie asked.
"Yeah," Jerry said.
"If my mom's friend owns a record store, why do you work at Tower?" Steve asked.
"Because since I want to be a filmmaker, I prefer to work in a video store," Jerry said. "And Cavern isn't big enough to do both music and video. And besides the rest of the team, Sailor Jupiter and I have a mutual friend over at Valencia. Anyways, I'm going to grab a shower. If Usagi shows up while I'm in the shower, tell her I'll be out in a bit."
"Okay," Bonnie said.
Jerry went upstairs, and took a shower. He then changed his clothes, wearing his Buckwheat Surf Team T-shirt, blue jean shorts, white socks, and white leather Reebok high tops with a Velcro strap on each ankle. He came downstairs with the backpack he bought earlier, just a minute after Usagi Tsukino arrived, along with her cat Luna. Usagi was wearing a red top worn off the shoulders, faded blue pedal pushers rolled up to the knees, and white leather sandals. "Oh good," Usagi said, when she saw that Jerry had a large backpack. "I was worrying about how we were going to deal with Luna on your bike.
"What's new, pussycat?" Jerry said, when he saw Luna.
"Meow," Luna said.
"Sorry we don't have more luxurious accommodations," Jerry said, as he picked Luna up and put her in his backpack.
"I've had worse," Luna said, as they went into the garage, where Jerry's motorcycle was parked.
"Mind if I wear your backpack," Usagi said.
"I was hoping you would," Jerry said. "I don't want Luna to get squished. Speaking of which, make sure you leave it open a bit at the top, so she can get some air, and maybe poke her head out. And don't worry, I don't have a death wish."
"I've ridden with you before, remember?" Usagi said. "We ride together all the time. At least we have as long as we've been dating."
"Well this is Luna's first time on my pasta burner," Jerry said.
"It's my first time on a motorcycle, period," Luna said.
"Anyways," Jerry said, as he backed his bike out of the garage and started it up, "here we go."
A few minutes, they arrived at Rae's house, just as John McCoy and Molly Hogan arrived in John's 1966 Ford Mustang convertible. "Oh good," John said, noticing the backpack Usagi handed to John. "You got a good sized backpack."
As they went to the backyard, Mina Aino and Ami Mizuno came out of the backyard, accompanied by Artemis, Mina's cat, and Armstrong, John's kitten. "Go on ahead to the shelter," Ami said, as John and Molly went down into the shelter with Armstrong. "We'll be back down there in a minute."
"I just needed some fresh air," Mina said.
"I understand," Usagi said, as she and Jerry, along with Ami, went down to the shelter.
"I was thinking we should have another place to meet," Rae said, when Jerry, Usagi, and Luna entered the shelter.
"What's wrong with this place?" John asked. "We've used this place as our headquarters from the beginning."
"When I offered this shelter," Rae said, "I never even considered the possibility one of us suffered from claustrophobia."
"Who suffers from claustrophobia?" Jerry asked.
"Mina," Rae said. "Thing is, she's never said anything before."
"That's probably because it didn't bother her down here," Jerry said. "I mean, this place is kind of big, as far as backyard fallout shelters go."
"I don't really have a problem here," Mina said, as she entered the shelter, along with Artemis and Makoto Kino, who was carrying a gray kitten. The kitten looked identical to Armstrong, except this one was obviously female. She had pink eyes, and had a bell hanging from her neck by a pink ribbon. "This place is pretty big, and I can see the exit. My claustrophobia is only really triggered if I feel trapped somewhere. But believe me, if this place ever does become a problem, I'll let you know."
"Anyways," John said, "this meeting isn't about Mina's claustrophobia."
"It's about our new little feline friend," Makoto said, as the female kitten went over to Jerry and leaped into his lap.
"Allow me to introduce myself," the kitten said. "My name is Diana, I'm Armstrong's twin sister. Neo Queen Serenity sent me back in time to 1987 to fulfill my mission as Jerry's guardian cat."
"My guardian cat?" Jerry asked.
"It's time you learned the truth about yourself," Queen Serenity said.
"Truth?" Jerry asked.
"Yes, the truth," Queen Serenity said.
"Does this have anything to do with Usagi and me being lovers in a past life?" Jerry asked.
"We both figured it out ourselves," Usagi said.
"Usagi and I have been talking pretty much since we started dating," Jerry said. "As it turns out, we've both been having similar recurring dreams for the last couple years, she's a princess, and I'm a prince. I couldn't explain it at the time, but the first time she kissed me, it felt familiar, as if we'd kissed a million times before."
"And when we discussed it," Usagi said, "we realized that our dreams weren't just dreams, but memories of a past life where we were lovers."
"That's because the two of you were lovers in a past life," Queen Serenity said.
"That explains a lot," Jerry said. "I don't know if I ever mentioned this to anybody, but I'd had a crush on Usagi from the moment I first laid eyes on her. I couldn't explain it at the time, but part of the reason I had a crush on her was because for reasons I couldn't explain at the time, there was something familiar about her, like I knew her from somewhere. All this time, I wanted to talk to her, but could never screw up the courage."
"I'm afraid your inability to gather the courage to speak to Usagi was my doing," Luna said. "When you first moved into the neighborhood back in June, 1983, I knew you were Prince Gheralde, the Prince of Earth, reborn. However, for my own selfish reasons, I gave the both of you a hypnotic suggestion that prevented the two of you from speaking to each other."
"If you know we were supposed to be together," Usagi said. "why keep us apart?"
"You had a job to do," Luna said.
"That's no excuse," Usagi said.
"The one thing I didn't want was for you to be distracted from your true calling," Luna said.
"That's a real fucked up thing to do," Jerry said.
"Jerry," Usagi said.
"Don't worry," Jerry said. "I'm not mad at you. You knew as much as me about this."
"Fuck this, I'm out of here," John said, as he got up to leave.
"Where are you going?" Rae asked.
"Back to fighting muggers, burglars, purse snatchers, and other common street thugs," John said. "You know, what I did before I joined up with all y'all. Don't get me wrong, being with a group is fine, but I think it's time I go back to flying solo. But don't worry, if you need me, I'm just a call away."
"Let him go," Luna said, as John left the fallout shelter. "We don't need him."
"Don't need him?" Ami asked. "After all the times he's pulled our fat out of the fire, you're just going to toss him aside like a moldy tangerine?"
"I don't even know what I'm doing here anyways," Jerry said. "I may have powers, but I'm no superhero."
"I don't know," Artemis said. "You sure acted like a superhero when that guy tried to rob Tower Records."
"How did I act like a hero?" Jerry asked. "By calling in a real superhero to handle things?"
"By listening to your instincts," Artemis said. "By not going in all gung-ho, you let someone with a bit more experienced take over. Remember, you're the one who suspected a robbery was about to go down."
"Artemis is right," Ami said. "John always tried to instill in us that being a superhero, or, as he calls himself, suburban vigilante, is more than having powers, wearing a costume, and kicking bad guy ass. It's about taking the high road, making the world a better place, and sometimes even knowing when to ask for help. And if you ask me, if you're given enough time, you'll make a fine superhero."
"I'm sorry," Jerry said. "I'm just upset right now."
"What are you upset about?" Rae asked.
"Oh, I don't know," Jerry said. "I think it might have a little something to do with the fact that for four years, my one true love was living right around the corner, but some walking mousetrap decided to take it upon herself to keep us apart because she considered me a distraction. Not that I don't appreciate the fact Usagi and I are together now, I do appreciate that. I just can't help but feel like I've been gypped."
"You have been gypped," Makoto said. "You and Usagi. Luna may claim she had a good reason, but that doesn't give her the right to interfere with true love. That makes me wonder, what else has Luna done to interfere with our lives."
"Besides getting you expelled from Valencia?" Luna asked.
"That was you?" Makoto asked.
"Part," Luna said. "I didn't get you into a fight with Valencia's starting quarterback, that was Larry's own doing. But I did get the principal to expel you even though the fight happened off campus."
"The only thing about that I'm upset about is the principle of the thing," Makoto said. "You ever hear the saying "The principal's authority ends at the schoolhouse door."? Don't get me wrong, I like it much better at El Dorado, but I shouldn't have gotten expelled for something that happened off campus, even if it did take Valencia's starting quarterback out of the big game."
"Wait a second," Jerry asked "You're the one who busted Larry St. John's arm the morning of the Sunny Hills game?"
"Yeah," Makoto said.
"You think next time, you could flip his ass into the path of a speeding freight train?" Jerry asked.
"You know him?" Makoto asked.
"He got banned from Tower last summer," Jerry said. "Management got tired of him harassing the employees. I know some people say that taking abuse from customers is part of working retail, but management doesn't see it that way, we shouldn't have to take it. Anyways, he came in one Friday in August, he wanted to rent Iron Eagle, but it was checked out. He berated me, said it was my fault. The manager on duty told him he should have come in earlier, and the only way it would have been my fault would have been if he had reserved it, and I rented it out to someone else before he had a chance to come in. He then tells me that the next time he comes in and we don't have what he wants in stock, I'll be sorry. I don't know about you, but the manager saw that as a threat. She tells him she won't tolerate anyone threatening her employees, and bans him from the store. As far as I'm concerned, he can go fuck himself."
"Something tells me you're upset right now," Makoto said.
"You bet your sweet little ass I'm upset," Jerry said. "Wouldn't you be upset if you just found out some flea-bitten, mangy, walking mousetrap cheated you out of 4 years with your one true love because she thought you were a distraction?"
"Might I remind you," Diana said, as she sat in Jerry's lap, "that so-called flea-bitten, mangy, walking mousetrap you're referring to is my mother? Or, more accurately, she will be some day."
"Okay," Jerry said. "You officially lost me. What does this adorable little kitten who apparently adopted me mean by Luna will be her mother some day."
"Diana and I are from the future," Armstrong said.
"Sometime in the future, Artemis and I apparently get together," Luna said. "Diana and Armstrong are the result."
"Do all talking cats have names related to the Moon?" Jerry asked.
"How did you figure that one out?" Ami asked.
"The easiest one to figure out was Luna," Jerry said. "Since luna means moon. And aren't Artemis and Diana both names of goddesses of the Moon? And as for Armstrong, every cent I have to my name says he was named after Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the Moon."
"Correct," Armstrong said.
"Anyways," Jerry said, "I need to be alone for a while."
"Jerry," Usagi said.
"Don't be mad at Usagi," Luna said.
"I'm not mad at Usagi," Jerry said. "She didn't do anything wrong."
"But you're mad at me, I take it," Luna said. "It's understandable. I mean, all this time you could have spent with Usagi, because of my selfishness, because I thought you would be nothing but a distraction. If I were you, I'd be pissed at me if I found out I was keeping me from my true love. That is, if I actually did anything to keep you and Usagi apart."
"Run that last part by me again," Jerry said.
"The part where I said I just made up that whole thing about using my powers to keep you and Usagi from getting together?" Luna asked.
"It wasn't you after all?" Jerry asked. "Why would you say something like that in the first place?"
"I was, what's that expression again," Luna said, "busting your balls."
"Wait a second," Jerry said. "You actually didn't use your powers to keep Usagi and I from getting together?"
"Why would I do that?" Luna asked. "I may be a, what's that expression, hardass sometimes, but I'm not that cruel."
"Dude," John said, coming back down to the fallout shelter, "you're my cousin, and I love you, but face it, the prospect of actually talking to Usagi intimidated you to no end."
"And even though I didn't keep the two of you from getting together," Luna said, "I did interfere. A few days before you and Usagi began dating, I gave you a hypnotic suggestion that the next time you saw her, you would talk to her."
"Why would you do that?" Usagi asked.
"Because I actually had known from when he first moved to the neighborhood that Jerry was Gheralde," Luna said. "I really didn't want to interfere, but it got to the point where if I didn't do anything, you would never get together. Believe me, if I had it to do over, the day he moved in, I would have had you go over to his house and give him a great big, wet, sloppy kiss right then and there, maybe it would have unlocked your memories of your past life."
"Maybe we weren't meant to be together until now," Jerry said.
"Or maybe you weren't ready to be together until now," Queen Serenity said. "Jerry, I've known since you were a baby that you were the reborn Prince Gheralde."
"How did you know that?" Jerry asked.
"Being dead does have its advantages," Queen Serenity said. "The best way to describe me is I'm like Obi-Wan Kenobi in The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi. Being dead made me all-seeing, all-knowing. I put the events in motion that resulted in you moving to the Tri-City area, and right around the corner from Usagi. I knew it was fate that brought you two together, I just gave fate a little push."
"And I wanted the two of you to get together all this time myself," Luna said.
"But why did you tell me you tried to keep us from getting together?" Jerry asked.
"I already told you," Luna said. "We were just busting your balls."
"They did it to me too," John said. "They acted like they were all pissed at me for something I supposedly did to Usagi."
"What did you do?" Jerry asked.
"Nothing," John said. "Luna just came into my room one night, transformed into a human, slapped the taste out of my mouth, told me I knew what I did, changed back to a cat, and left."
"And if it helps anything," Luna said, "nobody knew I was going to confess to keeping the two of you apart."
"Luna just said she would say something that would upset you," Artemis said "She said she'd give us a signal when she was going to say it, and she told us to react as if we didn't know she was goofing."
I ain't mad," Jerry said. "After all, Usagi and I did end up together after all, and that's what matters most."
"And after I stormed out of here," John said. "I sat right outside the door, and listened for when Luna revealed that she was just busting your balls. Trust me, you can't get rid of me that easy, y'all need me too much."
"We got along just fine before you threw your lot in with us," Ami said.
"Is that why when I first threw in with you and Usagi, you told me you could use all the help you could get?" John asked. "Face it, y'all are stuck with me whether you like it or not."
"You can't argue about that," Usagi said. "I mean, you got killed twice and that didn't get rid of you."
"I only got killed once, remember," John said. "The first time, I just made it look like I'd been disintegrated."
"But the second time, you actually were killed," Luna said. "It's like I lost the same kitten twice."
"Luna tends to think of all of us as her kittens," Mina said.
"Of course," Diana said, "Armstrong and I actually are her kittens."
"Technically, we will be her kittens in the future," Armstrong said.
"Pizza's here," Sharon Hino said, coming down to the fallout shelter. "And there are plenty of sodas in the refrigerator."
"Let's go grab the pizzas," John said to Jerry.
"Okay," Jerry said.
They went to the house, where Jerry grabbed a stack of pizzas, 4 large pies, each topped with pepperoni, sausage, and bacon, each coming with a can of anchovies on the side. "Good thing you didn't forget the cats," Jerry said, as he put the cans of anchovies on top of the pizzas.
"Can't forget our feline friends," John said. "Anyways, you're not too upset about Luna's little hazing ritual?"
"I will be," Jerry said.
"You should understand they bust your balls because they love you," John said. "Like I said, I got it when I first joined the team."
I don't know why I'm even on the team," Jerry said. "I have powers, but I'm no superhero."
"That's what I'm here for," John said. "To teach you how to be a superhero, or, if you prefer, suburban vigilante."
"I'll be a superhero, thank you very much," Jerry said. "But why me?"
"Maybe because you and Usagi were lovers in a past life," John said, as he grabbed a pair of small bakery boxes.
"That's why I had a crush on her all these years," Jerry said. "When I first saw her, there was something familiar about her, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I guess us being lovers in a past life would explain what was familiar about her."
What if you knew all along?" John asked. "If you had known from the first instant you laid eyes on Usagi, you knew the truth, that the two of you were lovers who were reincarnated in the present?"
"Put yourself in Usagi's shoes for a second," Jerry said, as they walked back to the shelter. If a perfect stranger tells you that he was your boyfriend in a past life, how would you take it?"
"I'd get my dad involved," John said. "I'd get my dad to make sure this boy understands that I'm not interested. I'd use such phrases as "shallow grave", "I ain't afraid of prison", "I spent 15 years in the Marines", "I'll make sure they never find the body", stuff like that. What would you have done if you were Usagi, and you used that line on her?"
"I wouldn't get my dad involved, that's for sure," Jerry said. "I'd make me dig my own grave then beat me to death with the shovel myself."
"Now before we go back down there," John said, "I'm going to tell you what I would have told you if you had come to me back when we were at Tuffree and told me that you had a crush on Usagi. I would have told you to start with hello."
"That's what Usagi said when I told her I could never think of what to say to her," Jerry said.
John and Jerry went back down to the shelter, Jerry carrying the pizzas, John with 2 small 2 layer carrot cakes, each cut into 4 slices. Each person took half a pizza, and got sodas out of the refrigerator. Usagi and Ami got Coca-Cola Classic, Mina and Jerry got Cherry Coke, Rae got Pepsi, John and Molly got Dr Pepper, and Makoto got New Coke. After pizza, they had carrot cake. After pizza and cake, it was time to go home. "Sorry we don't have more luxurious accommodations," Jerry said to Diana, "but at least in my backpack, I won't be worrying that you'll fall off the bike."
"Don't worry about Jerry," Luna said, picking Diana up by the back of her neck and putting her in the backpack, and getting in herself.
"Why are you treating me like I'm one of your kittens?" Diana asked.
"I can't help thinking of my friends as my kittens," Luna said. "It's my maternal instincts kicking in. And besides, you might be from the future, but you actually are my kitten."
"Oh yeah," Diana said.
"We did talk to both your mom and your dad," Usagi said. "They're both on board with you having a kitten."
"Your sister was pretty receptive about the idea of having a cat, even if it were part-time," Luna said.
"Debra is definitely a cat person," Jerry said. "Even though she claims to take after our mom's side of the family, and they're all dog lovers. Especially my bubbie."
"I never knew you were Jewish," Luna said.
"What makes you think I'm Jewish?" Jerry asked.
"Because "bubbie" is what Jews call their grandmothers," Luna said.
"Yeah, I'm Jewish," Jerry said. "Only because my mom's Jewish."
"How can you be Jewish?" Usagi asked. "I see you eating bacon all the time, and you don't go to church on Saturday. Come to think of it, I saw a Mezuzah nailed to the door frame at your mom's house."
"How it works is if your mother's Jewish, that automatically makes you Jewish," Jerry said. "My mom's Jewish, because my grandmother on my mom's side is Jewish. That makes Debra and I Jewish, and whenever Debra has kids, they'll be Jewish. But I've never actually practiced the Jewish religion, never had a bar mitzvah. Anyways, Usagi, make sure both felines are in the backpack, and make sure you leave it open a bit at the top, so they can breathe."
"Watch who you call a feline," Diana said.
"You and I are felines," Luna said. "It's another word for cat."
"Oh," Diana said, as Usagi put Jerry's backpack on. They rode to his dad's house, where he parked his motorcycle in the driveway. In the garage, Usagi removed his backpack, and let Luna and Diana out.
"Steve's spending the night with a friend," Jerry Lee said, when Jerry and Usagi entered the house. "Bonnie and I are going to her brother's house tonight."
"I'll pass," Jerry said. "Usagi and I are going to the movies tonight, and I'll be back at my mom's for the next couple weeks."
"What are you going to see?" Jerry Lee asked.
"The Living Daylights," Jerry said.
"What movie is that?" Jerry Lee asked.
"The new James Bond," Jerry said.
"That's the one Steve and his friend went to see today," Bonnie said. "Anyways, who are your furry friends?"
"The black cat is mine," Usagi said. "Her name is Luna."
"The kitten is Diana," Jerry said. "She's mine."
"You understand that she'll be your responsibility," Jerry Lee said. "You're in charge of feeding her, and cleaning her litter box, and making sure she has fresh water, especially in the summer. I talked to your mom, she said the same thing applies at her house, Diana is pretty much your responsibility. Now I'll help you out, I'll occasionally buy food or kitty litter for her, and I'll help you take her to the vet, and if you have to work, I'll feed her or clean her litter box, and your mom said the same thing."
"I understand," Jerry said.
À SUIVRE...
