CHAPTER XXI: DEVELOPMENT


"It was a nice wedding..." Shalltear whispers lazily, my only reply a light grunt and a slight nod. I'm too tired to give her a better response and I feel her shift from laying on my left side to laying on top of me. The sheets fall away from her as she moves to a sitting position and our eyes meet in the darkened light. I feel uncomfortable at how predatory she's looking at me but before anything happens, she whispers with a knowing smile, "You don't think so. It's written on your face."

"It was a great time but...I can't shake the feeling that something was off. I was expecting more pushback from everyone but everything went to plan. I'm not used to that," I whisper in reply to her growing amusement, her face smiling wider as she leans forward and kisses me lightly. I have to fight hard to prevent myself from falling for her temptation but my body is already failing me. I wrap my arms around her upper back and as I return her kiss against my better judgement, I can feel her dark influence slowly creeping into my mind. Trying to turn away doesn't work because she follows my movements, both of us moving to our sides as her nails bite into the scales of my back to anchor herself to me.

I force her magic out of my head to her surprise but when I try to push her away, she tenses her fingers in an attempt to keep me in place. The pain of her nails digging into the flesh beneath is too much and I relax my grip, Shalltear chuckling darkly as she whispers menacingly, "Try as much as you want but you aren't getting rid of me that easily. You'll hurt yourself."

"Can we have one night where you aren't leaving bloody paths through my scales?" I reply tensely, growing more irritated when she smiles and tells me no. The fingers of her right hand gently glide out of the fresh wounds and down my right arm, the nails leaving a shallow path of scratched scales and dark blood as she whispers, "I told you before what would happen. Why do you keep assuming I'll just stop being me and start being everything you want?"

She lays her head over my left shoulder as I grunt in discomfort from the nails of her other hand leaving my flesh. Teeth scrape my ear once, causing my body to vibrate in anticipation before she whispers, "I know the feeling. I was expecting more hostility from everyone too but even Albedo was acting nicely. Of all the beings I was expecting to have insults ready, it was her...we did try to kill each other after all-"

"In front of Lord Ainz," I add, a groan of irritation escaping her as she lightly nibbles my ear. I try to keep control of myself but she knows what makes me react, my arms moving around her automatically as she persists in her tempting. I'm about to give in when she desists and whispers, "Yes, in front of Lord Ainz. You just have to keep bringing that up don't you."

"Don't do that again," I say with sudden seriousness as my hands hold her hips so that I can move her. I roll onto my back and move her on top of me, our eyes sharing a similar level of intensity. There's no mistaking how serious the situation becomes and there's a long moment of animosity between us before she answers my demand. Though we're confrontational, her voice is firm and calm as she replies, "I won't if you won't. We both have a bad habit of risking everything and it needs to stop."

"Agreed," I reply while trying to relax my tense muscles, my face expressing the discomfort of the scratches and bites on my scales. I let out a loud groan of irritation when she leans forward to rub the fresh bite mark on my left shoulder, my left hand moving her hand off the wound before she can do more. She swats my hand away and holds her hand on the wound, my body tensing in anger but relaxing immediately when I feel the wound close. Her hand moves away to reveal a scar as she whispers to me with a grim smile, "You aren't the only one that can heal wounds. Granted, it's easier when your magic is more attuned to mine."

My entire body tenses when she places both hands on my shoulders and injects me with some of her magic, my body convulsing slightly from the strong power transfer. Wounds close violently fast all across my torso and I'm left feeling numb and disoriented once she lets go, her smiling face becoming more manic by the second. She states gently through my haze of dizziness, "You're mine now. Everything you are is mine now. Even death isn't an escape from me. I hope you'll grow to accept that wholeheartedly."

"I love you too," I croak with a rueful smile, Shalltear's expression softening slightly as she lays down on top of me. Her body slides downwards slightly so she can rest her head on my chest, my right hand moving to her head and brushing her long hair. The moment derails when I smell an odd odour coming from her hair, angling my head downwards to try and understand what I'm smelling. Shalltear's body tenses as I sniff her a few times then whisper, "What's that smell? It smells like...something sweet but I can't quite-"

"Stop smelling me," she retorts gently as she nudges my head away with her hand but I sniff her hand as she does so. The same scent is on her hand, hidden underneath the sweat and grime but readily apparent now that I'm aware of it. She doesn't hide her annoyance as I sniff her neck and shoulders, saying with mixed emotions, "Alright, I get it. You finally smell something. Stop."

"What is that? It's...sweet but sickly and...pleasant but too pleasant..." I ask curiously as I do what she asks, Shalltear sighing in resignation and moving upright to sit on me. She looks uncomfortable with the subject and doesn't say anything at first, her eyes staring into mine in a rare moment of hesitation. My hands leave my side and enter her hands, both sets of hands resting on her lap as I whisper, "I see that you're uncomfortable with this. I can wait until-"

"What you're smelling is my corruption," she whispers with regret but I don't understand what she means or why she's upset about it. My lack of a reaction irritates her and I feel her nails bite into the face of my hands as she tightens her grip. A few tears roll down her face as she says in a panic, "My presence corrupts those around me who lack the will to resist! Why do you think I live in solitude!? And now you chose to live with me willingly and I accepted like a fool! I didn't bother to tell you the risk because you resisted so far but now...now, after all this time, you can sense it which means it's corrupting you! Why couldn't you have sensed this before we became bound to each other!?"

"Is...this a bad thing?" I ask calmly, Shalltear releasing her right hand so she can tap me on the shoulder for interrupting her rant. I don't react to her tap and keep staring at her in expectation, Shalltear sighing as she looks down and whispers in frustration, "It can be if you like having free will... with enough time, I'll have more and more influence over you and it'll warp your morality and personality... you won't be the same being you are now... and that scares me... for once, it scares me..."

I release my hands from hers and lean upwards, Shalltear leaning back almost in panic as I move my arms around her upper and lower back. I hold her for a moment, waiting patiently until she returns my gesture by moving her arms around my waist. I feel her tears fall on my chest, my voice trying to sound soothing as I say, "I know I should be scared given what you just told me but... I don't feel scared... because even if I slowly become a willing pawn of your schemes, I'm... okay with that... I trust you not to make me do anything I wouldn't want... most of the time."

Magical energy builds up around us and I recognize the spell that she's summoning out of nowhere. I hold her closer as she returns the embrace more fervently, a familiar pain burning through my muscles as the magic takes form. My body feels like its shrinking in size and as I watch, my muscles and my height change to something I remember. The magical channels carved into my scales seal up, the scales darkening until they're pitch black. I start to hear a loud thumping sound in my ears and am surprised when the veins in my arms glow bright crimson through my skin.

Strange energy flows to my fingertips and back to my torso like rivers of power but as I watch, the glow fades away until it disappears entirely. My fingers curl to touch my palms, the sensation of scales touching scales strange given how many times I've cut myself. I gasp is discomfort when my sharp teeth retract painfully into my gums and emerge just as violently, the blunted teeth tasting of blood and flesh. I cough from the taste even as the mane of brown hair running down the centre of my upper back recedes, the sudden feeling of cold making me shiver slightly.

Shalltear leans into me and I automatically struggle against her strength but am pushed down onto the mattress easily. I try to move but she pins me down with her body, my arms feeling much weaker compared to her. She gives me an evil smile as she whispers, "You did say you trusted me to do anything...so I did what needed to be done. I removed all of the embellishment left behind and made you into... you... you're more you then you've ever been."

Her right-hand rubs my chest slowly and the sensation feels far more focused and sharp, making me vibrate slightly from the slow, tender motion. The hand moves slowly up my chest, neck, and face until she reaches my left ear, her strokes amplified to painful levels. Strangely, I smile from the sensation because it feels less awkward then it used to be, Shalltear smiling in reply and whispering sadly, "But...I couldn't remove everything. You're still half-dragon, half-elf and that's written directly onto your soul. I know too well what that feels like."

"Why did you fix me?" I whisper even as she temps me, Shalltear sitting up suddenly and staring at me as if I'd spoken out of turn. She raises her right hand as if to strike me but I keep staring at her waiting for an answer, her face neutral but her posture threatening violence. After tense moments, she instead places her hand on my head, the hand rubbing my hair as she whispers, "I'm not a supreme being. I don't need to manipulate you as they do. What I want more than anything is for you to see me through your own eyes."

Her voice starts to crack near the end and she can tell that I'm distracted by the perceptible aura of darkness surrounding her now that I can see it. Her mood shifts from calm to uncomfortable to frightened and I have to look down when I realize that I'm not hiding my emotions very well. The fear on my face is visible and my sense of guilt rises as she whispers, "You can see me now, can't you... the truth behind the illusions..."

I try to say something but she cuts me off, her voice rising to a shout as she loses her composure. "I was lying! I was fine with you being ignorant! But... but what kind of wife would I be if I let you live like that!? Why do you make me care!?"

"Because I care about you!" I shout back, her manic emotions stabilizing rapidly as I start to break down instead. All of the pent up emotions and suppressed reactions come flowing out like a torrent of despair, the tide threatening to turn me into a heap of self-loathing and misery. I focus the emotions outwards, shouting at her in an angry rant, "I'm no better, okay!? I'm weak, vulnerable, and scared! I don't know what the right path is! How do you think I feel about all of this!? At least you know what's real and what isn't! I've only seen fleeting glances of that and it terrifies me every time yet I have to seek the truth!"

Tears roll down my face from the anger and even though I try to keep calm and breath, it's difficult to find a way to focus. My breathing becomes far too fast as I shout at her, "I don't know what to say or do to convince you that I care! You always keep acting like the next secret you bring out will make me walk away! Am I that untrustworthy!? Is that how people see me, how you see me!?"

She stares at me in silence, her cold stare making me angrier. I have to look away from her just to fight the urge to lash out because the urge is so strong that my limbs start to vibrate painfully in an attempt to obey the impulse. I bite down on the inside of my cheek and shut my eyes, the pain helping me control the impulses but not by much.

"If you're going to hit me, just do it and stop hurting yourself," Shalltear taunts, my left arm lashing out impulsively before I can stop myself. My eyes snap open in shock as she catches my forearm with her hand and when I turn my head towards her in a panic, she's smiling menacingly at me. Her words sound relieved and filled with amusement as she tells me, "Good. It isn't healthy to keep your emotions pent up like that. You don't like it when I'm indifferent, do you?"

"I hate it when you don't care," I reply harshly, the venom in my voice surprising both of us. My anger vents slightly and I try to rephrase what I just said awkwardly but she shushes me by placing a hand over my mouth. We stare at each other for a moment and I see her visibly calm down, my body relaxing in response to her. She whispers gently as she removes her hand, "I know that feeling too. Lord Ainz rejected me so many times that I've become an expert in dealing with the apathetic yet...I never thought I'd be the one to do that to someone else... I'll do better from now on-"

Her smile becomes a wicked grin as we notice the same thing, my head turning away in embarrassment as she rubs herself against me lightly and whispers, "I see you're excited. Is it my proximity, your emotions, or the situation that gave you an erection?"

"A mix... sorry..." I whisper in growing embarrassment but she gently takes my hands and lines herself up as I know she would. The voice of reason feels distant and ignorable and although I can sense her corruption slowly creeping into my mind as we connect physically, I let the darkness in and feel numbed by it. She snaps me out of my stupor by placing my hands on her hips, her skin creating an area of cold around my hands when she places her hands on top of mine. There's no mistaking her intent and she smiles at me as she whispers, "I like this new version of you. You're far less stubborn then you usually are."

"Yeah..." is all I can say before the darkness consumes my thoughts and I do exactly what she wants me to do.


END OF SCENE II

"Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life."

-Unknown