Name: Sebastian Debeste

Vehicle: Tri-kai (A tricycle? Really? That's what we reduced ourselves to, a bicycle designed for small children and circus acts? I don't care if Sebastian never learned how to drive a car or even ride a normal bike. If you decide to enter this competition on a tricycle, you're effectively signing your death certificate. And here I thought that Luke Atmey and his nightmare duck car was the pinnacle of insanity…)

Vehicle Armor: 0/5 (What were you expecting? Sebastian's vehicle is a tricycle. For crying out loud, a good gust of wind could down both it and him. Well, at least it'll make for a good show when one of the other contestants crushes both him and it like a tin can on the side of the road as soon as the competition starts.)

Vehicle Speed: .01/5 (Once again, tricycle. Frankly, Sebastian could probably muster up more speed if he decided to walk. Thankfully, Kristoph was merciful enough to bring all the vehicles right to the arena instead of having them drive them there; otherwise, this competition would never get started.)

Vehicle Handling: Average (If there's one positive aspect about this joke of a vehicle, it's that it at least has decent turning. Though it had better be able to turn well considering that it's almost as slow as the guy handling it.)

Special Weapon: -1/5 (Debeste Bell- Why? Just… Why? Out of all of the weapons Sebastian could have chosen for his 'vehicle', he went with a bell. That's right, Sebastian's special weapon, the thing that supposed to help get an edge on the competition when things start to go wrong and he could potentially die, is an ordinary bicycle bell. All that thing's going to accomplish is alert the other contestants to his location and make him the target of their attacks… that is, if they don't completely destroy him before he has a chance to use it.)

Bio: What's going on?! I'm scared! First, Pops gained powers that let him control the universe that he used to punish us all on the blue tube; and now some strange guy with effacement hands has turned L.A. into a wasteland and is making us compete in some kind of demolition derby for a free wish. Well, I may be having a hard time wrapping my head around everything's that going on, but I'm sure of one thing: I'm going to give this competition my all because I'm Debeste.


On the side of the road, Kristoph sits on a bench as he finishes reading The Count of Monte Cristo for what feels like the millionth time before closing the book with a huff.

"Where in God's name is the winner of Debauched Steel?!" Kristoph snarls as he places the novel on top of a tall pile of books that has been neatly stacked next to the bench. "Here I am giving this ungrateful little prick the chance to wish for pretty much anything their heart desires, yet they have the audacity to keep me waiting here for four months!

It's like that one time that Wright made me drive him and his daughter to and from her sixth grade talent show and stay the entire time on the grounds of being a 'good friend'- forcing me to waste hours of my life watching countless tone-deaf adolescent girls with all the singing talent of a broken water heater singing the popular 'songs' of the time that made Klavier's music sound like Mozart by comparison- only to leave me waiting outside the gym for 30 minutes afterwards so they could small talk with random people on the grounds of 'networking'. As if a bunch of spoiled, entitled brats wearing outfits that were as lacking as their intelligence would yield any positive connections." The host of Debauched Steel hisses as he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I swear, if he isn't here in the next ten minutes, I'm going to-"

"Sorry I'm late!" Sebastian calls out, prompting Kristoph's expression to shift from one of irritation to shock as he sees the prosecutor pedaling towards him on a little pink tricycle with big white wheels and rainbow tassels hanging off of the handlebars before getting off of the bike and walking over to him. "I thought that you said to meet you on Yeast Avenue, so I went to the Yeast Avenue bakery on the west side of town and waited for you there for about a month, but then after noticing you weren't coming, I decided to go around the city looking for you."

"I said 'East', as in the direction, not yeast…" Kristoph groans as he facepalms. "Why on earth would I choose some random bakery as the setting to give you your prize?"

"I don't know." Sebastian shrugs his shoulders. "Why would you choose some random bench off of the side of the road?"

"…Just make your wish." Kristoph curtly states as he scowls at the naïve prosecutor.

"Ok!" Sebastian chirps. "I wish for… Um, hmmm…. What to wish for….? What to wish for…?" Sebastian mumbles, his expression shifting from a cheerful grin to a look of bewilderment as he contemplated what to wish for.

For the next few minutes, an awkward silence fills the air as Sebastian tries to decide what to wish for, only for it to be suddenly broken by the host of Debauched Steel.

"I'm waiting…" Kristoph sighs in exasperation as scowls at the naïve prosecutor, emphasizing his point by impatiently tapping his foot.

Don't rush me! I don't work well under pleasure!" Sebastian whimpers, tears forming in his eyes as he bends his baton. "Ooh… I wish I knew what to wish for."

"Granted." Kristoph replies with a sinister grin."

The host of Debauched Steel raises his arms in the air, causing bolts of electricity to stream between his hands, emitting a blinding light. When the light diminishes, a glint of inspiration appears in Sebastian eyes.

"I got it!" Sebastian exclaims, his arms spread out as a smirk spreads across his face. "I wish for-"

"Sorry, Mr. Debeste, but that's all the time we have today." Kristoph interjects with crossed arms and a smug grin.

"But I didn't get to make my wish!" Sebastian objects.

"On the contrary, Mr. Debeste, you wished to know what to wish for and I did just that."

"But that's not fair!" The naïve prosecutor whines with a stomp of his foot.

"Well, too bad, Mr. Debeste." Kristoph sneers as he turns to face the camera. "Stupidity begins when one expects life to be fair and perfect… or rather, when you decided to become a prosecutor." The host of Debauched Steel chuckles. "I'm Kristoph Gavin, and I thank you for watching Debauched Ste-AAGH!" The demented ex-defense attorney screams as Sebastian's fist violently collides with his jaw, catching him completely off-guard as he loses his footing, causing him to be rendered unconscious when his head hits the ground.

"Oh no… Oh no!" Sebastian whimpers, his body trembling and eyes darting back and forth as the camera is pointed at him. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it! Honest! I-It's just that-that he denied me my wish after rushing me, and then he called me an idiot like Pops used to, and then-then- it just happened! I-I'm soooorrryy!"

With tears streaming down his cheeks, Sebastian rushes over to Tri-kai, gets on his trusty tricycle, and pedals as fast as he can in an attempt to get as far away from the area as he can before Kristoph regains consciousness, which, unfortunately for him, still results in him moving at a snail's pace.

After taking a few seconds to process what just happened, Kristoph's cameraman pushes a button on his camera, causing a picture of Kristoph in his deranged breakdown pose, against a solid grey background, with a caption underneath it that reads 'WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES…' to appear on screen for the viewers at home.