Gallant Deacon (18) D2M
"So, what do you want to do today?" Totsuki asked me, assuming I knew exactly what she was talking about. I looked to Enigma, the closest person to me, for help, and she rolled her eyes.
"We normally do a little party thing to welcome the newest Victor into the group. It's nothing huge, but it's pretty fun," she replied, and I could feel her stifling a glare at Totsuki. I couldn't blame Totsuki for existing as herself, but I could wish she was a more polite person. "You can choose anything you want, but usually people choose something to do with overcoming their trauma."
"Well, I don't really have a plan. What if we..." I watched all the Victors look at me patiently, trying to avoid making eye contact because they didn't want to rush me while also wanting to be ready to respect whatever decision I ended up making. I'm going to do something stupid. It was a decision made subconsciously before consciously, and it seemed the right decision to make. I'd had enough smart decisions and wanted to start making some stupid ones. "Let's climb the Capitol-Mart."
"Is that even legal?" Nyra asked before anyone else had time to speak up. Everyone responded with a motion of not caring, some shrugging, some saying "I dunno." I could see why Nyra would care, with Capitol eyes on her at all times. She was becoming my role model, actually willing to speak up about what she thought was wrong. Still, none of the other Victors cared, and they had plenty of reason not to. They were Victors. Victors were, for the most part, untouchable.
We went to the Capitol-Mart without another word, though we chit-chatted excitedly amongst ourselves all the way. We were pretending to be exactly where we belonged, doing something entirely unimportant and 12:30 on a Monday night. Several people still walked the streets, partying all through the night just to sleep the day away and do it all over again. The Capitol-Mart was still open, a 24-hour establishment, but very few people were in it, and we saw nothing stopping us from climbing it.
"How do we get up?" Totsuki asked, bringing up the important question none of us had considered before. We could all easily get up if there were ropes, but we just had a sheer wall to climb.
"I don't want a harness or anything anyways. It's just bricks. We can climb that," I said, knowing how ridiculous it sounded. Climbing up bricks was possible for a few feet, but it was by no means easy, and it was only going to get harder as we tired ourselves out. Still, I wasn't ready to give up. I was going to climb the Capitol-Mart and stake my claim over the thing which had tried to take my life. Sure, that one was called a "Wal-Mart," but it was the same idea. I knew first-hand.
"That's so dumb," Totsuki replied, already beginning to climb the wall. You're such an idiot. I'm sure she just loves heights after her Arena, I thought before deciding to ignore any doubts I could have. She could hate heights all she wanted, but the Victors said whatever I wanted, not whatever I wanted as long as it was reasonable and normal.
I began climbing, wedging my fingers and toes into the smallest of nooks, taking my shoes and socks off so I could fit more easily. It was an effort to gain a single inch, and I was sweating before I was halfway up. Still, I wasn't going to give up. I was determined to reach the top, and reach the top I would. My arms shook and my breath came in gasps, but I worked my way ever closer to the top until I could sling one elbow over the edge, pulling myself to the top of the building before flopping down, finally letting the exhaustion set in once I had reached my goal.
Once I had my breath back, I looked up to watch the night fade. It would take hours, but I was ready to enjoy every second of it, seeing the stars fade in and later fade out. I watched the moon travel across the sky on top of what should have been my grave, and once it had settled, I reached into my pocket, pulling out something I had only overhead Yvette talking about. "Do you know how many types of tea there are? Some think there are only black and herbal, but there are so much more. I like floral best, but..." I could hardly recall the words, but I knew the most important thing was what I intended to do. I let the tea in my hand fall into the sky, blown away by the faintest of breezes. And I turned to the world, ready to accept life for what it was. I was done running and done hiding. I was ready to do things right.
Gallant Deacon (18) D2M
This one's gonna be the hardest. It's all downhill from here, I lied to myself. I got to start my Victory Tour with one of the hardest Districts I could have - One. Sure, I hadn't killed Prosper myself, but he was number three. One would definitely be disappointed that they had managed to lose after getting so close, with a non-traitor and an outer-Districter being the last two. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to face them.
The answer was, it wasn't hard at all. I walked into the District Square, ready to give my weak, prepared speech. It went off without a hitch. No one booed me. No one threw things. Everyone watched me in a heavy silence, and I slowly realized that my speech didn't need to include anything about my respect for Prosper. It didn't need to include how good of an ally it was, or how much I valued him. One had no respect for him. I gave my speech, ate my food, and left without incident.
Three was harder, and I soon realized I had gravely miscalculated. I was given the glassy stare of someone who had hope ripped from them, and I knew why. Radian was fifth. I'd have to face Five, too, whose tributes I had killed. All of those kills seemed far away, accidental, nothing to be thought about if I could avoid it. They didn't haunt me like when I killed Yvette, but the Districts felt them just as harshly as they would have if I had torn their throats out myself.
Before I knew it, the Districts blurred. I gave a speech, ate my food while pretending to be okay with stealing what the outer Districts obviously needed more than the Victor possibly could, and left, watching people pretend to be pleased with me so they weren't killed by Peacekeepers. I saw the emptiness behind parents' and friends' eyes and had to keep a smile on to give the Capitol the show it wanted. I almost felt comfortable parading around and putting on a show, and then I hit Seven.
"I'm sorry," I said, before I knew it. I entirely abandoned the pre-written speech, listing off the value of Seven as a whole and how I hoped their futures would be brighter. It was such a stupid speech. "Yvette... she deserved better. She didn't deserve this nonsense. I'm sorry I was too scared to die."
I was removed from Seven before anything else could happen and escorted back to Two, being informed that a holograph could do my job as well as I could. I knew I'd have to keep my head down. Nobody deserved the nonsense of the Games, something it took me, as a Career, far too long to learn. Nobody deserved to die at my hands. Still, that was a sentiment Ginger wouldn't appreciate my expressing. It was the most true and dangerous statement in the world. I'm sorry.
