A/N

Enjoy!

Thanks for reading.

—-

For a long time, I lie awake in bed, on my side, looking out the window, towards Edward's.

My mind constantly makes its way downstairs, replaying his cryptic sentences over and over again the whole time. My mind can't switch off.

It feels as though we took massive strides forward tonight, but in the same breath, I know I got no real answers. It's confusing still, even if it was enlightening. Just as many questions remaining as were answered.

I watch the branches of the large tree outside as they sway in the breeze, reaching out into the night sky like long, boney fingers.

Hearing the creak of a stair, I shift my weight, looking towards my bedroom door, waiting.

"Bella?" I bite my lip, trying not to laugh as Edward sneaks around, stage-whispering my name.

He opens the door, his head peeking inside my room. When his eyes adjust and he notices I'm awake, his smile widens. "Why the fuck am I whispering?" He chuckles, taking a step into the room.

"I don't know," I mock-whisper back. "What are you doing here?" Eyebrow raised, I shift myself onto my elbows as he sits on my bed. His t-shirt is gone, inwardly I groan.

"I should probably be asking you that," he smirks, turning his head to look at me before his attention is drawn to the window. "What am I doing here—Fuck, you really can see straight into my room from here, huh?"

I bite my lip and nod, blushing when he turns his mischievous eyes back to my face. "What have you seen?" he asks, leaning towards me.

"Nothing much," I answer. "You don't do much but sit out there and smoke."

He nods, looking back towards the window. "True. Have you seen anyone in my room tonight?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Good. They probably haven't even realised I'm gone."

I sit a little straighter, shifting myself so my back is against the headboard. "Shouldn't you at least text them?"

He shakes his head and sighs. "No point." His eyes scan my room, taking in every detail, every aspect, even in the darkness. "I've seen you do a lot in here."

I hum, biting into my bottom lip. "I wanted you to."

Eyebrows raised he turns to face me again. "Yeah?" When I nod, he laughs. "You're such a tease."

Feeling bold, I push on. "What did you see?"

"Lots of things," he answers, moving closer, though he's still too far away for my liking. We're like magnets, always fighting the pull. His voice lowers seductively. "My favourite is when you shower ... you walk around your room, so nearly naked, giving my tiny glimpses of your body."

I watch enraptured as he licks his bottom lip, his eyes on mine the whole time, body leaning forward, so close to me in the dark space.

"And then," he continues, "you turn this light off," looking up, he motions to the main light on the ceiling, "but leave the bathroom light on, it's like a spotlight." My breathing has picked up, chest heaving, my nipples visible through the thin tank I'm wearing —they catch his eye, and for a moment he's achingly silent as he contemplates something. "You always get yourself off when you think I'm watching. I drives me fucking crazy. I can see your silhouette, but I can't really see you."

"What would you do if you were here?" My voice is breathy, I almost cringe at how wanton I sound, how easy it is for him to make me feel this way.

His eyes snap from my chest to my face, his hand snaking it's way over the comforter towards my arm. "First, if I was here, you wouldn't need these." Taking both my wrists in one of his hands, he leans over, keeping a firm grasp, making me squirm. His breath against the side of my face paired with the rough stubble against my cheek makes me hot all over. "I'd fuck you so hard in that tiny shower, that we'd both need to shower again."

I whimper, letting my head fall back against the headboard. Then I feel his lips and his tongue against my throat, and my breathing hitches -I'm almost panting.

"Every time you're in there," he continues, his lips against my neck, "I think of all the things I'd do to you. I get myself off out there, in the open. Like a regular fucking creep."

I groan, loudly, no doubt he can feel the vibrations against his mouth. It's all the validation he needs.

He moves at the speed of light, his body covering mine, his hands moving to grasp my hips as he moves his lips towards my face.

I know we shouldn't be doing this, but I can't stop him. I don't want to. Maybe this will be a turning point ... I can only hope that everything will change from here.

Fundamentally, I'm too selfish to stop him. It's been so long and I need him.

I need to feel.

A/N

Is Bella right to be a bit selfish right now?