Eyes that see into Infinity

Chapter Forty-Nine

Part Four

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The Journey Home, Gedrosian Desert

The men were fighting one another. Hephaistion looked over and all he saw was the dust cloud caused by the rowdy brawling wondering if they had all finally lost their fucking minds to waste such useful energy. Speaking of useful energy, he didn't have any himself to waste as he was unable to think or react properly and chose to close his eyes again, drawing the sound out. If everything truly felt as it did, then they were all dead men anyway and he could sleep and not think about much else. Then as if someone snapped ballistic fingers in his face, something Aristotle had done to keep the students in check, his eyes shot open to even louder chaos. He was persuaded to no longer just lay there.

He slowly got up, coughing as if his gut had been kicked in and managed to get to his numbed feet. He hadn't forgotten that he fell asleep in front of the kings tent, to tired to move after saving him. He hadn't forgotten everything that had happened during the night. He was excited for a couple of seconds before he realized he may have dreamnt it all. But the proof was with him, the blood from the slaughtered animals, the exhaustion from carrying his king back the way they came, the redness from the sobs he suffered before reaching him. Alexander was a death note. And to make sure it wasn't all just a dream, as he began doubting himself, dreams being highly deceitful in any wasteland, he thought to check on him, but something told him not to lift the cover of the tent that protected the king from the sun, that kept the king in his dreams, that kept Alexander away from everyone else. A part of him didn't want to see that maybe there was Alexander, at peace and asleep. A part of him didn't want to discover that he was gone again or still gone. Maybe he did leave Alexander back there to be ripped apart by animals and never did return with him. But the only way to be sure wasn't such a sure way for Hephaistion. It was a haunting thought to see with his own eyes that Alexander was still missing, traumatized by his king always being gone, so Hephaistion quickly drew back hesitant fingers and backed away as if he had suffered enough. After staring through the tent for a little while longer, not hearing any noise or any movement of any kind, he turned and left sparing himself from the idea of a dead king.

Cassander was off to the side, as always, one to stay far but so close. He didn't play dirty, he'd rather use his brains as he stayed under a shady tent lifted by two large logs and pinned down by daggers. They weren't going to battle anytime soon so they were using anything that could be deemed useful as all other equipment was lost or difficult to manage.

Hephaistion came up beside him discovering it was Meleager's men swinging blades. Ptolemy and Meleager tried to break up the fight and keep the two ferocious men divided. The rest of the generals had the common sense to let it play out, it being most impossible to shut up the ones cheering and shouting over their orders. "Let them have at it!" One said aloud. "This is the most excitement we've had since we've entered this hellish place." Another joined in followed by many more.

"Well, this only proves my theory." Cassander crowed as he watched the generals be pushed away by their own men to keep the entertainment alive.

"And what theory would that be?" Hephaistion replied meekly, watching the same thing but not as entertained as Cassander seemed to be.

"That there is no need for order in the middle of nowhere." Cassander simplistically concluded.

"What has the men so undomesticated?" Hephaistion asked, slightly confused and annoyed.

"They're fighting over the last of their quadrants water." Answered Cassander uncaring. "I had my share so I don't give a shit."

"We had enough rations to last us another week." Hephaistion replied surprised at their carelessness to not conserve what little they had.

"Yes, until someone decided they were thirstier than the rest of us." Cassander emphasized. "Now they'd rather fight each other than take their true anger out on the king himself. I mean, he is the one that lead his men to die." He shrugged. "We still have the wine though. I've always wondered what it was like to die shitfaced out of my mind in the desert heat."

"What useless madness." Hephaistion uttered as if lost somewhere else and not necessarily speaking about the men.

"I'd say."

Hephaistion seemed off and uncaring and in full disagreement with the behavior of the men as he turned to leave them at it. Cassander turned his neck slightly with a lifted brow wondering where Hephaistion could possibly be off to. "Where do you go?"

"Back to sleep." Hephaistion answered which astounded Cassander for some odd reason.

Cassander snickered and turned back towards the fight with a simple shake to his head. "I can tell that you're judging us, Hephaistion. Can you blame us for acting out? I mean we are tempted by our truest nature. Don't we all enjoy a bit of refuge in our own self interest?"

"Self interest isn't always a good thing. Isn't that why you have a scar across your throat?" Hephaistion stopped and looked to him now, not wanting to be forgiven for his forwardness.

Cassander nodded a bit then sighed as if he was pleased with what his next words were going to be. "Speaking of self interest, I remember a couple of Springs ago when a land of mystery became Alexander's and with that brought our very own stunning and vivacious queen to our community. Her father was so insignificant it was a crazy thing to attempt. You remember the way Alexander laid eyes on the captive. The entire Macedonian army had said that she was the most beautiful woman they've ever seen, even more impressive than their very own wives and daughters."

"What's your point?" Hephaistion asked, regretfully knowing Cassander was always ready to clarify.

"My point is that if anyone has a dangerous amount of self interest, it's Alexander. He was willing to climb a fortress wall into her land, with no knowledge of the resistance on the other side. He took the women and children captive, murdered any man who rebelled and fell in love almost immediately knowing the fact that 30 men fell to their deaths during the summit. But you're not totally against the self seeking propaganda because if you were, Alexander would be dead by now and maybe the queen. Your amount of self control around him is one of legends. If I was in love with Alexander and he treated me like some average prostitute I'd, I don't know, kill myself."

Hephaistion scoffed. "You're making things up in your head."

"Don't we all?" Green eyes smirked a bit. "You tell yourself that Alexander only loves you until he falls in love with another. You are one pretty face in a world of many pretty faces."

"My looks don't define me, Cassander." Hephaistion rebounded.

"Is that why you cried when you thought Alexander wouldn't love you anymore if he woke up and saw that your body had been used and abused and destroyed by ugly men?" Cassander reminded. "The way you sobbed when your hair was removed and your face scarred. Even you once believed Alexander loved you only for your beauty. But don't flatter yourself any longer. And I find it odd that you would walk away right now and do nothing. A month ago you were willing to remove Alexander's head in front of his men if it meant saving their lives. You should stay consistent with your faith. Like the faith you had when Alexander spent six years estranged from you because he was having an affair with a slut, antagonizing the troops by his obsession with her and you came back to him, and things between the two of you were cured once she left the picture. That kind of faith really is dangerous. But perhaps I'm not remembering correctly. You just decided to take on a number of military engagements because you enjoyed it or because she came in and caused friction between the friendship you two shared? Alexander really does whatever he wants, doesn't he? And you do whatever it is he asks. So I ask, where did you go last night?" Cassander asked despite the possible dangers that could come from it. Hephaistion was no longer as passive as he used to be.

But at the moment the blue eyed man had nothing to say, just gazing loosely from where they stood feet apart but the dark mannered general pressed on. "It's called leverage, Hephaistion. You've heard of it. What would these men think if they knew you left Alexander for dead?"

"That's bad leverage. With the amount of men that despise him, they'd praise me." Said Hephaistion before walking away again but it was never the last of Cassander.

"Is that right!" Cassander exclaimed from his shady spot. "What would they think knowing he could have been dead, but you were too selfish to give him up. Again? Just food for thought."

The blue eyed man chuckled at the persistent manner of Cassander, stopping again to return the favor. But there was something different about Hephaistion, like he had given up, or lost purpose. Like he didn't care anymore about anything. It wasn't unusual for Hephaistion to have moments of weightlessness and numbness and worthlessness especially lately, it would come and go. Some days he was abrasive and verbose and other days he was quiet and to himself. But today he was done with it all. "How would the men think, knowing that you followed me all the way out there and allowed me to return with the king, all for leverage purposes. No one likes a snitch, Cassander. And if I may be annoyingly direct, many men here still love him, so the fact that you would have left us out there to die would actually put you in another bad place with the hierarchy. Another attempt at killing the king and taking his throne is all they would talk about. Do what you want. Say what you want. But whatever you do, it will turn into a Philotas situation."

"Philotas killed himself by being a clumsy murderer with unskilled stealth and I'm not clumsy nor am I unskilled." Cassander had taken offense to the comparison.

"You're a roach so you'll outlive all of us. You owe me still and naturally you'll need to be alive for that. Until then, I think you should stop running your mouth so much. It's what got Cleitus killed and you know my love for Cleitus, I would hate for that to happen to you."

Tension rose in the green eyed man as he sneered the second Hephaistion turned his back on him yet again. He was never good at receiving threats or being insulted in such a way, but he had to contain himself which he was also not terribly good at.

"Hephaistion!" He yelled almost manically but received no response back.

Hephaistion eventually made it to his tent with quick long strides, ignoring Cassander whose words had trailed off long ago. Then he collapsed inside of it and closed his eyes as if he had no other choice but to drop dead because that's what his body had been telling him to do for awhile. Philip taught the men to listen to their bodies as much as they were taught by Aristotle to listen to their minds and hearts. So he did and he fell asleep despite the outside scuffle resounding in the background.

Ptolemy and Meleager and the other officers attempted once again to break up the fight before arguing and yelling amongst themselves. Maybe it was the land that maddened the men. The heat was searing over the ocean of wasteland and they had no one but each other to act out on and they were making all the wrong moves in order to survive. Especially the two men who were going at it upon the stinging sand. They were out for blood but they were both too weak to even claim any. But they tried. The land was just claiming more.

Then a sword was sent flying by them, and it sat in the ground, bordering their faces, breaking them apart and silencing all. The two wrestling men turned to see who had delivered the message, and they hadn't expected the king to be standing there with a warning look in his face. And the message was loud and clear for any man alive.


Darian stumbled back as he held his face. He looked up at Alex who held steady eyes. The dark haired teen dropped his hand and scoffed not expecting that but it was quite often everyone underestimated the blonde. There weren't any clues that Alex used to be a blood thirsty king in a past life. For a very brief moment he saw a grin on Alex's face that looked satisfied but then there wasn't a smile at all and it happened so fast it may as well not happened at all. And for a split second, on Alex's behalf, he saw a cowering king, fleeing from him and his army on a chariot right in the middle of a brutal battle. It brought Alex satisfaction and the blonde laughed like he enjoyed hurting him.

"You won't remember but I do." He began with a chuckle. "I remember when our armies met at Arbela. You had no clue I would take my army and charge right to you. You couldn't believe your luck, thinking you had already won. Your men in greater numbers, your chosen battleground, your assumption that I so young had no clue in what I was doing. But I divided your forces and you didn't know what else to do but run. You did everything I expected you to do. Then I took your wives and your slaves and your people and you were soon killed by your own men. You think I'm appalled that you're talking about Phai that way? I know your intentions. And that's why Phai will always chose me." The man who was bleeding from his nose and mouth was only a couple of inches taller than Alex but Alex had an unique power to dominate his enemies. "But I don't want you to think that this is some sort of dick sizing contest between us because even if your dick was bigger than mine, Phai still wouldn't want it. I'm only going to tell you this one time and for your sake you better comprehend as much as this as you can. Do not fuck with Phai. Do not say his name. Whenever you see him, walk the other way. Do not discuss him with your friends, do not think about him, do not dream about him. When you fuck with him, you fuck with me. I have plenty of bad days and the last thing you would want is for me to take it all out on you. It just wouldn't be a fair fight. And if you choose to cross me with your false hopes in winning Phai over there is another part of me that looks forward to it. I don't have much to lose and I definitely don't plan on losing Phai to you, not to anyone."

"I told Phai that I liked him." Darian half grinned, surveying the blonde before his next move. "And he didn't seem to mind. I say that says more about him than me."

Alex just reacted. He didn't think to react or think to think. He just swung again at the cocky grinned teen again. Darian swiped back. Alex charged him and the two frenzied boys flew onto the grass and swung away at each other on the front lawn of Phai's parents house. Darian wasn't built to fight. He used his strength to manipulate and groom his victims. Cassy. Roxanne. His mother. All alike. It seemed to be Alex's default opposition in life. Alex should have been used to it. But this wasn't like his fight with Cassy where it needed to happen in order to release some tension. It wasn't like fist fights with his father which was just another way of saying I love you. This was Alexander fighting the way he was trained to do. To survive. But Alex wasn't realizing as the man below him was balled up, knees high to block his stomach and arms protecting his face, that it felt easy, dangerously easy and he enjoyed it. But Alex did warn him and Darian did mention Phai again and therefore initiated his own beat down. Similar to a big cat clamping fangs on the neck of its prey, Alex found an opening and wrapped hostile hands around Darian's neck in pursuit to strangle his enemy. He squeezed and pushed forward and held him down. But there was a voice in his head and it wasn't the kings. And he stopped right away when Darian was turning blue. He released him and quickly backed away, horrified as he watched Darian struggling to catch his breath. When Darian recovered, finally leaning up, he spit out chunks of blood and glared at Alex. Both boys were breathing harshly but Darian didn't say anything, because he barely could as he coughed and coughed. Alex was surprised that no one had heard them and more amazed about what he did. Good thing Alexander wasn't the only voice in his head. Sometimes the general came around. Right when he needed him.

The blonde sighed unapologetically when he realized Darian will walk away from this with everything intact but his own dignity. Then he got to his feet, still with restless breathing, and looked down at him. Darian scoffed slightly before making sure his teeth were still connected by running his bloody tongue over them. "Hopefully he knows what's inside of you." He spat again, soaking the grass with his bloody saliva. He said it resentfully.

"He'll never get that chance." Alex said as if he didn't believe it himself then gestured with a simple nod to his old house. "Go get cleaned up, come back to the party and if anyone asks what happened to your face tell them what you said about Phai, word for word. Or be the coward you are and tell them nothing. I really don't fucking care. Oh and if they ask about the ring around your neck, tell them your fake girlfriend gives a nasty looking hickey." Alex turned his back on him and quietly snuck back in through the front door. He was only bleeding a little bit, cuts here and there, but he was still covered in dirt and grass stains. And his hair was fucked up. The parents were still in the kitchen, he could hear them chatting and his friends were still outside so he quickly headed upstairs to change and clean up before joining everyone again with a smile on his face as if he had been having fun the whole time, leaving Darian speechless and alone with every regret, leaving him feeling less of a man, leaving him feeling demeaned. And that was the very first time Alex let Alexander do his thing which he didn't feel completely terrible about.

Darian did change also at his parents house and went back to the party also pretending that nothing had happened. The bruises and the black eye wouldn't show up till the next day anyway and no one questioned why both Alex and Darian had changed clothes except for Phai. Everyone was so invested in the moment they wouldn't have noticed even if it was pointed out to them.

Phai looked at both of them as they came outside together. Not much was happening, just normal conversation between the friends and guests like they were waiting for Alex and Darian to come back before they proceeded on with another game or two. Everyone welcomed them back not noticing the obvious thing and Phai just stared at Alex who had sat next to him at the table where everything started. Phai leaned in and pulled a single strand of grass from Alex's hair, a dead give away though it was Alex looking guilty by averting his eyes elsewhere that gave more away. Alex just smiled, blatantly suspicious, trying to blend in with the theme of the party and Phai rolled his eyes and excused himself and Alex before the began anything else. Cleitus was the first to shame the blonde making it a big deal that he was in trouble, which he was.

Darian also sat there quiet with his girlfriend. He watched Phai pull Alex into the house, picked up his sparkling cider and drank from it and the night was back to being joyless and awkward.

Phai and Alex headed upstairs to his bedroom.

Alex sighed as he sat on the end of the bed already knowing he was about to be reprimanded. "You only take me to your room when we're about to have sex. Is that what's happening?" He joked trying to lighten the mood.

Phai glared angrily at him after closing the door a bit hard. "You know that's not what's happening."

"Bummer." Alex tried to play it cool but Phai saw behind his bullshit.

"Alex, what happened?"

"I went out for a smoke."

"You smoke now?"

"I just had one. It's the first one since..." Alex stopped himself and looked down.

"Why did you change your shirt?" Phai crossed his arms.

"Oh, you noticed?" Alex found it slightly humorous.

"Yes, it doesn't even fit you and that's my favorite shirt. How would I not notice that you changed into my clothes?"

"I threw on anything as quickly as I could."

"I would have noticed whether you changed or not. Did something happen?" Now Phai came down from the anger and was now worried. "Why do you have scratches on you?"

"I got into a fight with Darian. But it wasn't anything big." Alex admitted ashamedly. "I just blacked out and I swung at him first."

"Over what?"

Alex just shook his head saying nothing about it.

"Is it because of the game? It's just a stupid card game!" Phai growled in frustration. "You won."

"You!" Alex rose his voice and stood. "Obviously we were fighting over you!" He said owning up to it with emotional eyes on Phai. "Why would I fight over anything or anyone else?"

"That's not obvious to me, Alex!" Phai rose his voice back, seeming overwhelmed by Alex's reaction. "If it was obvious we wouldn't be having this talk."

"It's obvious to me. It's obvious to everyone but you. You know he likes you." Alex alluded. "It's very obvious and it bothers me greatly that he's even here right now. That he's even allowed in my fucking sight. That he's allowed to talk to me like that without punishment. And he lives in my fucking house! He shouldn't be here because I will fucking kill him."

Phai was getting to know more and more about Alex, things that he missed before. Alex was angry, that he knew, but he never seen him angry to the point that he'd beget violence. He also never heard him talk this way. He's seen him flustered and upset and pissed off but never so suggestive.

But Phai grew calm, knowing it was best not to distress him more by yelling back. "I had no idea you two would fight over it. Everyone is having a good time and you guys are somehow messing that up."

"I didn't want to ruin this night for you or anyone which is why I didn't say anything but you wanted to investigate and discover why I had a piece of grass in my fucking hair." Alex sat back down, trying his best to chill out.

Phai locked upset eyes, like how fucking dare you! "I investigated to make sure that you were okay especially since you were gone for almost an hour. I didn't go look for you at first because I thought you needed time away from us. Which ends up being true. Alex, if I knew you didn't want to be here, I wouldn't have let you come. See, that's how much I care. Not because you're ruining the mood but because I know that you get overstimulated easy by things that are simple to others but grand to you."

"I want to be here, Phai, I just don't know how to be when I'm here or anywhere." Alex became quiet. He knew he messed up by throwing that in Phai's face. Now he felt like a complete asshole.

"I don't need to be fought over, Alex." Phai simply stated. "I need you to be present. That's how you end up being."

Alex heavily sighed, seeing now that he probably went a little overboard but there was one thing still at the back of his head that of course he just had to bring up. "What gift did he give you for your birthday?"

"It was a dumb bear holding a note, some chocolates and flowers." Phai responded perfectly, not to fast and not to slow where it would have came off questionable and suspicious. He answered knowing he had nothing to hide or to fear.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would have flipped the fuck out for no reason. I didn't accept the gift. And I didn't want to hear you rubbing it in my face that you were right about him liking me. I wasn't in the mood to deal with your bullshit, Alex, because shit like this happens."

"Okay, fair but I wouldn't have flipped out. I would have ate those chocolates first thing, replanted the flowers, you know out of respect for the flowers and gave the bear to Bucephalus as a chew toy. I think that would be me taking it very good."

"No. You would act jealous and you would get into your jealous mood." Phai corrected as he knelt down on the floor, between Alex's legs, placing his hands on the bed on both sides of Alex and looking up at him. "You would forget everything I've ever told you about me never wanting anyone but you and you'd get into your insecurities about not being perfect enough and you would punch him. That's why I didn't tell you. Not everyone who likes me deserves to be punched Alex. If someone liked you, which there are far more people into you than you realize, I would trust you enough not to entertain it."

"Cassy deserved it." Alex said.

"Yea he did. You still could have walked away and your ribs wouldn't have been fractured. Darian you barely know so why you would waste your energy on him doesn't make any sense to me." Phai redirected.

"With the shit he was saying, I know him perfectly. And he definitely deserved it. He deserved more."

"What did he say?" Phai got up and sat next to him, intent on listening. "Tell me and if it's as bad as you say I will kick him out and I'll kick his parents out too. And I'm not kidding. I will end this entire night if it helps you feel better." He hugged his arm tightly. "I hate it when you're angry, Alex. I know what to do when you're sad, I know what to do when you're scared. I know what to do when you're happy, but I don't know what to when you're mad."

As much as Alex wanted to, he couldn't find the heart to tell Phai. He wouldn't even know where to start or how to bring it up. Because Phai probably wouldn't have taken it as good as he thought he would, so he said nothing instead, protecting Phai from it. And it had nothing to do with Darian at all and everything to do with the message behind it, the harsh and demeaning words. Phai wouldn't want to remember all of the bad things that men did to him. Phai didn't deserve to hear that he was just a piece of ass. That he was only used for sex and his looks. That he was just a prize for horny guys. That his other good qualities meant nothing at all. "He just admitted that he likes you, that's all."

Phai sighed, and Alex knew by his expression Phai had already made up his mind that he didn't believe Alex. Alex pulled Phai in more to him and kissed him. "You're right, Phai. I'm sorry."

Phai bit his bottom lip. "You should be. I only want you. I only care about you. I'm not sure how I can make it more clear to you."

"I just don't trust him."

"I believe you. Alex, I didn't want him here, but my parents are friends with his parents and it would be very awkward for my mom to have to explain to them why they're allowed over but not their son. I haven't told my parents that he likes me because I don't want to ruin anything for anyone. The nights almost over and then we can spend time away from this all. I promise."

Alex nodded and Phai kissed him on the cheek. Then they left the room feeling much better and headed back to the party.

Amyntor went to check up on the kids outside. "You guys ready to watch the ball drop and eat dessert?" He said wearing a green party hat while drinking beer from a cup that read Happy New Year!

"Isn't that something only adults get excited about?" Roxanne said snobbishly.

"Yep but I'm also not asking. My house, my rules. Come on, kids." He clapped. "Let's get a move on."

All the friends grumbled, got up and started to go inside, single file. Amyntor just had wide grin on his face as he apparently just ruined all of their fun.

"I'm just going to finish my smoke and I'll be right in, if that's okay?" Said Cassy as if he was asking his own parents for permission.

"Aw, I remember the good times lost to smoking." Amyntor said humorlessly.

"Yep. Smokers privileges." Cassy smirked.

"Yea, no. Put it out, get inside." Amyntor didn't fall for his charm.

"Fuck. Fine." Cassy said and then put it out.

"Good boy. By the way where's Phai and Alex?"

"Probably upstairs doing you know what?" Cassy said grinning. "It looks like they too don't have any intention to watch that stupid ball drop."

"You know, I can't see any reason why they hate you at all. You're such a charming young man." Amyntor grinned back. "But they still treat you like family and you're part of this family, right? Because if we're not good enough for you I can send you back home with your parents who enjoy beating and neglecting you?"

"I guess I will watch the ball drop."

"Good choice." Amyntor retorted with a mocking grin and Cassy just rolled his eyes and headed inside.

Right when everyone gathered, Alex and Phai came downstairs and joined them and it was perfect timing. Amyntor noticed that Phai seemed a little worried and on edge as he stood behind the large couch where the majority sat, watching Alex as if they came back from a very serious discussion.

Alex was waved over by Roxanne and Barsine who had a spot on the smallest sofa waiting for him, so the blonde went over and sat at the only open spot between the two girls. And they waited for the countdown.


The Journey Home, Gedrosian Desert

"Enough!" Alexander commanded with a crashing voice like a wave that just landed. It was a sound that made every man convulse.

Cassander had an imposing scowl upon his face, still angered by Hephaistion but when he heard the king, it dropped, mostly because he had a crippling fear of the king. Alexander had a horrid way of torturing anyone who would dare hurt or stand against Hephaistion. And though they didn't have that famed bond anymore, Cassander wasn't going to take any chances.

The men looked to their king, who looked rougher than them but with a glare that would make their blood run cold, and suddenly they weren't in Gredosia but at the Hindu Kush and they had no plans to end up like Prometheus. Alexander brought himself forth and the two men who had picked the fights pushed each other apart and couldn't look Alexander in the eyes. But the blonde king held his gaze until the men met his. He wouldn't speak more unless they all faced him. So he paced and watched and waited until every face had eyes on him.

He had a stare that could echo. They had forgotten how uncomfortably petrifying his eyes were as they finally looked into them, the sun only making them stand out more. They weren't expecting him to make an appearance so soon, not after everything. "You want to know what I thought when I woke up today?" He had asked with aggression. "I thought to myself, what an excellent and peaceful resting place. To die with Helios above us. I said to myself that if my life ended here, I'd be happy with what we've achieved. But apparently you all woken up with different reasoning than I. Am I the reason why you quarrel?"

The men stayed quiet.

"If it's my head you want, if it's my death that will give you great reward and peace and less heartache then so be it. Pick up my blade." He ordered any of them, seeking with stern eyes amongst the crowd for the bravest.

The announcement only seemed to frighten the men, not encourage them. Alexander took another good look at them before scoffing, pitying the weak men before him. "Have I not given you a convincing reason not to spare my life? Are you men so cowardly that you won't stand up to me? I'm letting you know that I'm not afraid to die, not the same way you men fear death. So who shall rise against me?"

No one dared. Going up against him felt like going into the clutches of their first battle, remembering how frightening it was for them. Remembering what it was like for grown men to piss themselves and cry like babies begging for their mothers.

Alexander kept his pace, kept his stare, kept his ground and judging from the looks of his men no one had it in them. The king smiled. But it wasn't a pleased smile, it was a disappointed one. He shook his head and laughed. It was his turn to make his move since the others chose to let him. "The nerve you fucking men have. If we were in battle, you'd tear through the enemy ranks and rip them apart like wild pigs. But when you face me, you treat me as if I'm the one throwing severed heads back at you as you stand there with faces frozen in fear. I am not one to fear. Those who don't know me believe I am the true son of Zeus. But you, who do know me, know that I am not. You've been with me through my faults. So I am shocked that a mere mortal has no volunteers against him. I know you want it, to see me dead once and for all. I see it in your eyes. I see it in the hands that quiver and the hearts that quake. I hear the whispers. The wind brings it back to me. I say to you, step up to me!" He shouted. "Sing a fucking song of freedom until you've won the victory. And you can finally cast your king into the sea when we reach the other side! Does that not sound like a dream come true?"

Hephaistion had awoken at the sound of Alexander's powerful voice. And he quickly headed out to see what was happening. At least everything he thought to be a dream, wasn't. Hephaistion studied the crowd, making sure no man dared to step up, and took out his sword just in case, but Alexander seemed confident that no one would or confident that he could instigate at least one of them but he waited as did everyone else in the same treading manner and there was only silence and unready gazes. Ones of no courage. So Alexander spared them, gaining complete control once again.

"I'm not here to confess my sins or my crimes to you. You know them all. I'm talking to you, not the priests or the gods. They can listen to what I have to say but this isn't meant for them. You can start your revolution but are you ready? You caught on to my bluff before India. But I suppose I've caught on to yours. There's signs of truth that you don't have the courage. You are being raped and taken and buried by your own weaknesses. You gag on it until it clouds your mind. You want democracy but you're incapable of exercising what it takes for unity. Your minds are programmed and it's telling you that you are the good guys for wanting peace and wanting to go home with your wives and your children. You're not good for wanting to tuck your kids in every night. It doesn't make you good people for wanting to embrace your old lives again. Your old lives were still full of wounds and scabs, carved in with the only innocence there's ever been. Your old lives still consisted of death and injustices, removing hairless balls for entertainment. You men haven't yet graduated from your own trials but if it makes you feel better, if it helps you sleep at night, I will be the villain of your fucking tale. We were bastards when my father was leading and we're still bastards now. Except we have a world that spreads its legs for us, not the other way around. It reveals its crotch and I've learned to my amazement that our legacy has finally been made. She sings to us, if we'll accept her and she gives us a home to stay warm and to feed us. If we die here, we died exactly where we were meant to. We're not living upside, men. We're at the peak of the Heavens. We're not being stripped from our lives. We're already bare and ashamed. We're spilling our blood in lands that used to be stories untold and now we've opened up that book and the pages suck us in and it bears witness. What has Aristotle taught us about soul? He says to us, those with soul, survive. Those with soul, live on. We can choose to live in blood and tears or we can be rewarded with milk and honey. Freedom is death. Freedom is soul. Freedom is not doom. I wake up every day knowing that I am an illegitimate king but I never close my eyes. What have you waken up to and tell me, have you been blinded? My father, the man you truly love, guides me more than you know. I have not lost sight of him. So hear are words from him that you may remember. If you can't find the balls the gods gave you to protest your king who has fallen astray, then you have no rights. You tuck them away and it makes you a common bitch. Your silence is your betrayal against each other and rejection to yourselves. I know what rejection is. I live it to this day but I am where I am because I refuse to suppress my voice and I hope you get sick of hearing it. You will never mutiny against me again, do you hear me? Do you fucking understand what I am saying to you! If there is anytime you have a problem with me, you take it out on me and not with each other. You are all you have. I am all I have. I am clearly outnumbered but because I know what it is the voices tell me, you will obey and I will rule. It's prophesied. So which one of you is willing to step up and deceive fate, I shall ask again?"

The men stayed silent but compliant and Alexander waited again giving anyone the opportunity to fight him. To speak up, to take charge, to start anew but then the men looked shocked when Ptolemy ripped Alexander's famous sword from the ground. They never knew Ptolemy as one brave enough to challenge the king but Ptolemy was extremely brave. After all, he was ruled by the bravest man to ever step foot into the known world. The king will have been braver than even Hercules and would still never get the credit for his amount of bravery, for his recklessness will surely overshadow it in the personal accounts of his reign years after.

The men were holding their breaths and Ptolemy stared heavily at the sword of Achilles. Hephaistion shared the same wide variety of expressions as all the other men, not believing Ptolemy would do it.

The curled haired general looked up to the king and Alexander smiled respectfully. Ptolemy walked up to Alexander and extended the end of the blade to him. The king looked up at his chief bodyguard with respect having an understanding of their friendship and took the sword from him.

"We may be poorly equipped and more dead in numbers than we will ever be again but I would never be ruled by another. I'm with you, Alexander, even if you don't delegate responsibility as well as your father."

The king chuckled at the comment and hugged his friend. The men finally seemed to understand what loyalty was. Alexander looked now towards the remaining generals who appeared guilty for not getting their men to act right but Alexander had nothing to say to them about it. "Ptolemy, Issus, Justinus come with me," he ordered aloud. "We'll be back with water but also the way home. We''ll reach the other side of the desert before you know it and we'll celebrate, drink and fuck, just like old times but all will be canceled if I return to another skirmish. Your heads will be mounted on the same phalanx spears we designated for our enemies. Is that clear?"

Some nodded, some shouted "Yes Alexander!" and others were too scared to say a word but it helped generate boastful and cheerful moods. They wouldn't come across another unbalanced Alexander for awhile, not until the tragedy that happens in Ectabana.

Alexander stole a swift glance at Hephaistion before heading back to his tent to prepare for another slight journey and Hephaistion slowly put away his sword.


Alex was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter watching Phai and everyone else in the other room gathered and sitting around the TV with the news on. It was getting closer to the end of the night before the ball dropped introducing them to a new year.

He was captivated by him and had no words for it. He was much more confident and talkative and witty. But Phai was probably thinking the same about Alex, being less confident, being less talkative and being less witty. He got into his own head again, afraid that he was becoming to stale for Phai. The reality was that Alex felt like Phai wasn't his anymore. He felt like his friends weren't his anymore. He felt like nothing was his. There was no reason to feel that way other than the fact that he had a good idea which friends would turn on him. After all, the king did go crazy after he was betrayed a number of times by the very same people he grew up with. Or so he thought. But just like him, they were very different than their ancient persons. He had no reason not to trust them yet. But everything and everyone were quickly changing.

Amyntor strolled in the kitchen, to drop dishes off in the sink but also to check up on Alex. He seemed so distant from everyone else though it was a normal thing for him to keep to himself. He glanced at the blonde who looked lost in his own head. "You have a mean ass glare. You should turn it down a notch."

Alex smiled, realizing he always found the worst places to zone out. "Why do we continue to use real dishes when we can use disposable ones?" He pretended he wasn't as distracted as it looked.

Amyntor chuckled before drinking the water he had just poured from the faucet. "That's such a Phillip thing of you to say. I'm glad he still shows up once in awhile. And I like to think we have nice ass dishes to show off."

Alex smiled again before looking back towards Phai.

Amyntor noticed him again. "You miss him?" He concluded.

Alex nodded. "Yea."

Amyntor dried his hands and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms casually. Both men observing. "Are you two okay?"

"I think so."

Amyntor admired that answer. It was real. "Relationships can be difficult. Especially long distance ones. You come back feeling like you missed out on the most important parts of that someones life." Amyntor knew, because he could relate, pretty much missing out on Phai's entire childhood.

"Can I be doing better to make it work?"

"What makes you think that you're not already trying?"

"Because I'm not with him. Not all the time. I'm still far."

"Yea, but it's because you're helping your mom. That's a nice thing to do."

"It's not as nice as you think."

"Your mom seems to be enjoying her time." Amyntor thought to weed out some of the problems.

"Surprisingly. I'm the one person she can't live without yet she never enjoys her time with me. She hates being around people and here she is, laughing and smiling like she does. Maybe this is exactly what she needed. Bringing new life into the world really does change people."

"Eh, sometimes. Not all the time. Is that why you've been acting off today? Other than the fact you got into it with the neighbors son?"

Alex sighed thinking Phai had said something but the truth was, Amyntor was just as good at figuring stuff out. "How did you know?"

"Because you changed clothes. Phai's shirt is way to tight on you by the way."

Alex looked down at the shirt and chuckled. "It is. It's also making me itch. I'm almost 100 percent positive I'm allergic to polyester."

"You can't go beating up every guy that likes Phai." Amyntor addressed him like he was his father. "Phai focuses on you and that's all you need to do, is focus on him. No one else. But I do see why you're worried. His hair is almost as nice as yours."

Alex laughed. Then he got serious. Amyntor then turned fatherly. "What's wrong?"

"My mom seems to have complications every time she tries to have a kid. There's definitely some fucked up shit going on in my bloodline and we all have plenty of skeletons in our closet. So I would rather be alone and bored in my sibling less life because the alternative is statistically a horror movie. I don't want there to be another me."

"Fair enough." Amyntor said. He didn't pretend to know any more about it but he did mention everything else as if he knew what Alex was going through. "I get that you're fighting something that we can't ever know about. Maybe you think we'll judge you for it. Maybe you think we won't find you good enough for our son. But Alex, it's okay. What you're up against I wouldn't put on my worst enemy. I don't know what it is but I know that it's something. I see it in my son, the way he looks at you, like he's hanging on for dear hope that nothing bad happens. I hope one day that you can tell me what it is that's going on so that I can help you. I want to help you. If I'm not the right one to talk to, please, talk to someone you can trust. Bottling things up can destroy people. Phai loves you. Don't destroy that. You'll destroy my son if you destroy yourself. And if it is something that you have to take care of on your own, I will make sure that Phai is taken care of until you come back around."

Alex blinked at him in confusion. It was as if Amyntor knew that Alex was suffering from something and was making him a promise, just in case. It was like he had been reading his mind.

"Anyway, your friends have been doing a good job of it, making sure he stays distracted. They have a lot of respect for you. I've never seen such loyal friends before and I came from a family where loyalty was all that mattered. Phai will never admit to me or to anyone that he's sad without you. He'll pretend he's doing okay and he'll continue on with life as if you're not away but it's obvious he doesn't like to be reminded that things are wrong or could go wrong. So me telling him that everything will be alright won't take the pressure off. So we say nothing. It seems to be easier for him. We all put on a front when we are missing the one person we can't do without. We pretend that we are okay forgetting that it's okay not to be. You don't need to distance yourself, Alex. Phai is going to sense that you're fading." Amyntor patted him comfortingly on the shoulder and left.

Alex sighed. He knew Phai didn't say anything to anyone about his health declining. He knew his friends didn't mention it either. Again, Phai's dad was just good at figuring shit out. He figured out Phillip and that was no easy task. But he was right. He didn't have to distance himself. If his mom can enjoy herself, he can too. He set down his cup and went to go join his friends in conversation.

They must have noticed he was gone a long time because when he arrived, they lit up like they had missed him all along and Alex began to think back on his friendships and what they've done for him. Cleitus was a kisser so he always kissed and hung all over Alex but it was a brotherly love. He was the brutally honest friend, which helped Alex get his head out of his ass at times. Cassy was the polar opposite of Alex and he showed his affection by talking shit and having opposing views which challenged Alex to be more bold. Crater displayed his love for Alex by being able to click with him easier than the rest. He'd just listen to him and not poison his mind with words or opinions that may dilute him. They just always got along because Crater was one to stand in truth. Perdicas was the friend that supported Alex from a distance. He came off as critical and confrontational when he needed to step in but he always had Alex's best interests in mind. The two shared the same level of admiration for each other. Leon was that nice and dependable friend that had Alex's back no matter what and defended him more than the rest. He went out of his way the most to cheer the blonde up in difficult times. Tolem was the wise mentor type, always spouting his wisdom to Alex and being as loyal of a friend as their could be. He wanted Alex to succeed and he wanted Alex to be happy. And Phil, though a pain in the ass because he was the most obnoxious and didn't take any of their problems seriously helped Alex take things not so seriously. He realized though that he was surrounded by the people who loved him most then the ball dropped and the parents clapped while the teens blushed in embarrassment and quickly began to leave back to what they were doing, highly unimpressed. And it ended up being a better night than how it began.

Barsine came up to Alex and nudged him gently. "Your mom is getting ready to leave. Are you coming with us back to the hotel?"

Alex didn't look sure. "Yea. I will get my things." He didn't forget that he and Phai promised to get away from the night. "I just have to say goodbye to everyone first."

"Okay." She said rubbing his back before walking in the direction of the dining room to grab her jacket.

Alex felt someone tap him on the shoulder and when he turned to see who it was, his eyes widened. Alexander smirked and told Alex to follow him. The king looked crazy and held a flamed wooden torch in his hand with black makeup printed across his face looking like the very people they knew as barbarians. Alex looked back at everyone else who clearly couldn't see him or the fire and then back at the king who had slipped out through the front door. So he quickly went after him hoping that he wasn't up to anything bad. The last time Alexander messed with fire, he destroyed hundreds of years worth of religious artifacts, meaningful art and magnificent buildings of cultural people. But first, he and his men pillaged.

Alex saw Alexander far ahead, and he began to run to him, following the flame, through the field all the way to the shed. Alexander stood there facing the entrance of the small shack. Admiring it for its memories that would soon be lost.

"Why did you tell me to follow you?" Asked Alex, out of breath, irritated that the king wasn't giving him anything more than silence.

The king turned and faced him. "You hear that?" He smiled with a face dripping blood like he had just sacrificed a poor animal to the gods. "Those are the drums of Gaugamela. You remember the sound? Do you remember the blood?"

Alex wished he hadn't. But he did. "Give me the flame."

The king looked down at the torch and smiled greatly. Then he pointed the flame closer to the shed as if it was a game.

"Stop!" Alex shouted, inching forward.

"Why? This isn't your home anymore."

"It still holds memories. The best ones. Please, I'm begging you, don't do it." He slowly reached out his quivering hand and his breathing was just as shaky. "Just give me the torch. You don't have to do this. Phai will hate me."

"No he won't. He'll love you until the end of time. But you, you will hate yourself more than you do now."

"Please don't."

"Oh Alex, when are you going to realize, this isn't me, this is your doing. Maybe try not being so angry with the things and the thoughts you can't control."

"I'm not angry. I'm happy. I'm having a good time right now and you're trying to ruin that!" Alex groused.

"How funny." Alexander scoffed victoriously. "I don't buy it." Then he let go.

Alex hurried forward but it was too late, the king tossed the torch into the shed and it lit up.

Alex backed away after trying to put out the fire but there wasn't much more he could do. He fell to his knees and stared at the dancing inferno, as it burned away his youth, and his friends and his dreams and his nights with Phai. It burned everything.

He stared and so did the king. They looked upon the beautiful heartbreaking wreckage together.

"Why are you such a cunt?" Asked Alex with tears in his eyes knowing nothing could be done. Who knew something so small could hurt so much.

The king sighed. "You try so hard not to be me, but you are me and you can't run from it. So you need to accept it. You need to accept who you are. When you do, good things will start to happen. We don't have to drown, my friend. We can burn instead."

Alex looked up at him. He had a look on his face that solved everything, solved all of his problems. He remembered what Callista had said about drowning his worries. She had the right idea. He looked to the dark pond and realized that was the solution all along.


Darian was leaning over the deck rail outside. Phai came up beside him. Darian didn't hear him and was caught off guard by it.

"What are you doing?" Phai asked smoothly as he looked out toward the black meadow.

Darian shifted up, turned inches facing him and smiled. "Oh nothing. Just getting fresh air. It's nice out. Thanks for inviting me by the way."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yea, I did."

Phai casually nodded. "What did you say to Alex earlier? I heard he punched you. Are you okay?" He smiled.

Darian squinted to him questioningly. Then he exhaled when he realized lying to Phai wasn't going to work. That must have been the only reason Phai was outside in the first place, not necessarily to check up on him and admire the beauty of the night but to get to the bottom of it. "He did more than that." Darian rolled away the neck of his shirt showing Phai the sweet mark Alex left around his neck. "I've been punched before, never choked though." He chuckled lightly. "I suppose there is a first for everything."

Phai scoffed and shook his head. "Well, you don't have a broken nose which means he was probably holding back. And you're alive. Which may also mean he was holding back. What did you say to him?"

"Are you serious?" Darian scoffed, having expecting Phai to take his side just a little bit.

"I want to make sure both of your stories match up." Phai insisted sweetly. "When you two got into a fight on my front lawn, something must've been said or done. I know he lied to me about what you told him and you're probably going to try to lie to me too but just because you're clever at a card game doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to give you credit at much else. So look me in the eye as you tell me your story and I will be the judge of things."

Darian rolled his eyes and turned back into his original position. "Nothing was said, Phai."

"You don't follow direction very well. I said look at me." Phai didn't realize how much he could affect people with his eyes, they were torturing, making it hard to say no, making it easy to look away. Magnetizing. And Phai didn't look to be in a gaming mood.

Darian sighed after seeing that they were alone together while everyone else were inside saying goodbyes and getting ready to leave. Eventually he did face him and he did look him in the eyes this time. "I was just trying to make conversation and he didn't like that and he hit me. You know he doesn't like me and there's no reason for me to like him. I try my best to be cordial. I can't say that he does the same for me."

"You must have crossed some kind of line." Phai moved closer to him, staring up, demanding more. "Tell me what line you crossed?"

Darian rolled his eyes and looked down, pretending to be ashamed about what was coming next. He looked back up at Phai but it was minutes before he said anything. "I told him that I liked you. More than I should."

"Let's try this again. Tell me what you really said." Phai asked again, less modestly this time and with a smile on his face. Not a kind or patient smile but a poised one. "I want to know the whole thing. I'm intrigued at this point."

Darian ran his hair back nervously, being persistent until finally giving in. "I may have said that I wanted to have sex with you." The dark haired teen blushed and looked away again. "I don't know why I said it but I did. So yes, I deserved to get my ass kicked. There, I said it. I want to have sex with you and I want you to be mine."

Phai wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't flattered by it or was he surprised. He was just asking himself why Darian would still feel that way about him. "We talked about this, did we not? I told you what would happen."

"I like you, Phai. I won't stop liking you." Darian poured out.

Phai released a sympathetic smile before turning away to head back towards the door. It was a better reaction than Darian expected but he hoped for a better one.

"I told you the truth because you wanted me to." Darian charged to him, and grabbed him by the arm, desperate but not desperate enough to explain himself.

Phai slowly turned to him and Darian knew to release him so he did. Phai did not like being touched by people. "I'll bring you some ice for your face and then after tonight we can't talk anymore. You should probably let your girlfriend know what you've done."

"Phai, just wait. She's not really my girlfriend." He admitted. "She's interested in Alex. That's why I brought her."

Phai gave him a pronounced look. "A setup? You thought that would work on Alex?"

"I didn't know what would work to be honest. I was only thinking about you."

Phai laughed. "Wow, you really had this planned out. Alex is terrible at being seduced by the way. He'd freak out."

"Phai, I know I fucked up but I was just trying to get close to you somehow."

"Did you not realize that you fucked up when you opened your mouth in the first place? I'm cutting you off not because you like me but because you had the fucking nerve to try and sabotage him. What is it about people getting off on ruining his life? You don't even know him and you hate him and as much as you tell yourself it has everything to do with me, you know it's a fucking lie."

Darian couldn't find anything to defend himself. He had nothing to stand on. "I just keep thinking we have something between us. Even now, you want to hate me but I don't think you will. Phai, I'm sorry that this seems like an inappropriate time to express how I feel about you but I can't get over you. I've tried and it's impossible."

"No you're not." Phai turned gravely serious. "You're not sorry. If you were, you wouldn't have shown up tonight. Happy New Year, Darian." Phai headed back inside, leaving Darian flustered and humiliated. And as Phai entered, he almost ran into Cassy again who was exiting, no doubt spying or getting ready to, but instead of being annoyed by it, Phai just passed him with nothing more than just a glance. When Cassy slipped outside and closed the door behind him his eyes brightened knowing he had intruded on something special. He already had a cigarette in his mouth as he stared down Darian who was in a stance as if he meant to run after Phai to explain himself. "Just a heads up," Cassy began, "Alex might be our common enemy but he is my mortal one. So whatever issue you have with him, I suggest you wait in line."

Darian snickered at the absurdity of the comment, but in truth Cassy was dead serious and it wasn't as ludicrous as it seemed. "I've heard a lot about you too, Cassy. But it doesn't take a scientist to know that you hate that I like Phai also. You also want to wreck him sexually, don't you?"

"I've had my desires." Confessed Cassy.

"So they've changed?"

"No, just been misplaced. Sometimes I want to fuck him and other times, more than I like to admit, I want to love him."

"Well I say, let the best man win."

Cassy grinned at the confident man who appeared to be ready for the challenge. "You can convince yourself that you're the best man. I've been convincing myself that for years." He said flicking his lighter and lighting the stick. "But the best man is clearly Alex. And he has a complete advantage over us."

"Oh yea, what's that?" Darian said, finding himself reeled in by possible options as he stuck in hands in his pants pockets.

"Phai loves him. Loves him dearly. More than he will ever love another person." Cassy stepped to him, releasing smoke through his teeth.

"How does that help us?"

"You need to know who you are fighting against." Cassy encouraged before exposing Alex a bit more as their conversation flowed. "Alex is like a bear. He's very protective over his loved ones. He also turns very aggressive when you poke him. That's our advantage. Phai dreads the fact that Alex may one day turn evil because it's what Alex already thinks he is. He's being warped by some imaginary fiend. You should understand that Phai won't leave Alex no matter what happens. It's Alex who will leave Phai. Not for anything Phai did but Alex has a habit of blaming himself when things go wrong. You can tell him he did something he didn't do and he'll believe it because he has no sense of self worth. He truly believes in his heart and in his head that he is the worst fucking person to ever live. So poke the bear, the bear just can't know who is poking it or why. He can never know where it came and most importantly he has to think it came from himself."

Darian looked impressed. "Why are you helping me?"

"Don't get it twisted. I don't help anyone but me."

Darian straightened up and Cassy turned when Parys came outside to retract her boyfriend. "You ready babe?"

Darian nodded but kept eyes on the dark ones of the other teen. Cassy clearly couldn't be trusted but something in him he related with. Cassy didn't feel the same way though. He couldn't relate with anyone and though he figured out before anyone that Darian was a straight up, unfeeling, psychopath, Cassy had lines he would never cross. But he would try his best to get him out of the picture.

Darian gave Cassy an understanding nod before advancing toward her. "Let's go." He said and before they turned and left Parys squinted as her eyes pointed out something far out there in the fields.

"What is that? Is that a fire?" She asked, baffled by it. It was hard to make out what the brightness was until it grew bigger, like a flashlight going from dim to fully powered.

"It looks like a fire. Smells like one." Cassy said pulling the cigarette out from between his lips, firmly looking forward.

"Is someone out there?" Darian asked as they both saw a figure moving about.

Parys popped her head in and interrupted the chatters of everyone inside. "Um, excuse me, there's a fire outside! Should we be worried?"

The friends all assembled outside to see what she saw, Phai being one of the first to check it out, as they tried their best to see through the dark. Instantly Phai knew something wasn't right when he noticed Alex wasn't anywhere around. He knew right away he was in trouble. "Get my dad. Alex is out there." He said to Tolem before sprinting into the yard and hopping the fence. Tolem went swiftly back into the house and Phai was followed by Cleitus, Perdicas, Crater, Leon and Cassy. If Phai acted out of danger, they did. The girls all stayed put not sure what was exactly happening but also carrying concerned expressions. Tolem ran into the kitchen to tell Amyntor.

Alex got up from his position on his knees and strutted over to the pond with an angry and determined look on his face.

"Where are you going?" Asked the king now, not so sure of himself anymore.

Alex didn't answer. He met the edge of the pier and hopped into freezing water. Alexander glared now realizing what was happening. He hurried behind also meeting the edge of the deck. He looked down at his modern self, shivering like he had been submerged in ice.

Alex, hugging himself, didn't understand why it was so cold because it was so damn hot outside. With teeth clattering he told himself not to do it. He told himself that he couldn't do it and Alexander sensed that Alex, all of his pretend life was a cowardly person, and he laughed out loud at that.

"You're scared, Alex. You're supposed to be brave, like me. Where has your courage gone, you fool! You can't get rid of me, I'm all you've got!" the king taunted. "I'm all you will ever have. I am your prison and you will never escape me! Do you hear me boy!" The king spat, sounding just like his father.

Alex couldn't help but believe everything being told to him. He wasn't brave. He was scared. He was scared of more than he realized. He was scared of more than just death. He was scared to fail. So he never tried to be good at anything, things he was told by everyone he'd be great at. He'd fail at school because maybe he wasn't as smart as he was supposed to be. He did fail Aristotle. He'd fail at a career because maybe he was indeed a bad leader. He did fail as a king. He'd fail as a friend because why else would they betray him? He did fail his friend Cleitus. He'd fail as a son because he had abandoned his mother and killed his own father. He did fail them both. He'd fail as a lover because...

Alex drowned out the kings shouts and slanders by submerging himself under before he could hear Phai calling out his name.

The parents had no clue what was happening, having a conversation in the kitchen and chatting and laughing until Tolem rushed in to warn them that Alex may be in trouble. "We don't know what's happening but there is a fire in the field."

Amyntor reacted the quickest, knowing that somehow, someway it was coming, having a small gut feeling that something felt wrong. And not yet knowing about Alex's disability, he followed Tolem and the others and ran as if he did. Also knowing the danger his son was putting himself in. They didn't risk it and Darian's mom had already called 911 while Phai's mom kept Olympias there. Olympias was in shock as well, not knowing what to do, just as stuck in place as Phai.

Alex had eyes closed, not tightly, and he hadn't held in a deep breath, he was just floating there, relaxed and as still as he could be. There were overlapping voices in his head, from every person he's every known, it being less gibberish and more of his better moments. The voices quieted down and withered as if a wave washed them away and then one voice rung and he remembered the first of his visions, the one that started them all. After being pierced in between his ribs and falling from his black horse, he remembered and he heard the first words from his lover when he saw that throbbing red color around him.

It's going to be alright, Alexander. I'm going to take care of you. Please, stay alive. For me stay alive.

The voice went slowly after it came and he served a minute of complete silence and complete serenity beneath the motionless water, no longer in fear of it. 1.2.3...he counted before Alex opened unsettling and unloving eyes at the king who glared right back. Alex smiled. Slowly. And fear grew in the kings eyes. Alexander struggled to swim up for air, thrashing under pressure to reach the surface. But Alex refused to let him live, not after taking everything from him. So the king eventually sucked in the water and his royal body froze up and Alex watched the red cape sink lower and lower into the dark abyss.

The moon, usually not so outspoken, provided its light on the sinking and unconscious blonde and Phai swam Alex back up after capturing him. When they both reached the top, Alex was dragged out and onto the small deck. Cassy helped Phai out right after while Amyntor was trying to revive Alex. Everyone else was standing around clueless and shattered. It was deja vu all over again. They didn't forget the last time Alex fell into the same pond as a child and almost drowned. But it was Phai who looked the most shattered. This was the day he was having a hard time accepting. He stood watching, paralyzed, not yet thinking why Alex would do something like that and more like he was going to lose Alex forever seeing as he wasn't responding to the chest compressions.

The flickering lights of red and blue were already seen. As was the loud horns of the firetrucks. The shed was ablaze and the smoke rose into the sky and as important as that was, they were all mostly worried about their friend who looked very dead. Who could have been because they all knew his secret, though this was more self inflicted.

But right when Amyntor was going to give up, not feeling a pulse, Alex showed a sign that he was alive, and went into a shaking fit, his body in complete shock. Amyntor rolled Alex to his side, quickly judging that he was having a seizure and told Cassy to remove his leather jacket to place under Alex's head. Cassy tossed it over and everyone gave Amyntor the space he needed. As they watched on edge, Cassy didn't realize that Phai was squeezing onto his arm unbearably tight. He looked at Phai, assuming that Phai didn't know what he was doing or even what he was feeling. He was also in shock and Cassy couldn't blame him. So he allowed his wrist to be suffocated as Phai held on for dear life.

Cleitus and Crater had waved down the responders with their flashlights from their phones and soon Amyntor backed away and the paramedics took over and the fire was soon being put out before it spread and turned into a wildfire. Luckily the fire looked worse than it was and the shed was salvageable. However, they weren't quite sure how repairable Alex was or would be after this and as shocking as it was to everyone, Alex began to cough up water, sand and blood. An odd mix. And everyone watched in horror and amazement, not understanding where sand would even come from, unless Alex was weirder than they thought. Alex, when he was allowed and told to breathe, didn't realize he had an audience and recovered, putting smiles on everyone's faces but Phai's.

"Phai, you can let go of me now. He's alright. He's breathing."

Phai snapped out of his fear and looked down at Cassy's hand, instantly letting him go. He looked up at Cassy who was now rubbing his wrist. Phai looked like tears were coming but they didn't, but his eyes were wet and they were stinging. Cassy smiled at him and Phai didn't react back with one, he just sort of looked at him, still quite in disbelief of everything and looked back towards Alex who was surrounded by the professionals asking him questions to see if he was properly responding. But Phai couldn't hear Alex's responses and because his seizure lasted more than five minutes and he did have a fever and he wasn't alert or aware of his surroundings, seeming sleepy and highly confused, they rushed him to the E.R.

Amyntor was the only able adult in this situation and he followed them to the hospital. But before leaving he told Phai, who wanted to come, not to, and that everything was going to be alright and told everyone to head back inside.

The police did hang around and spoke directly to Olympias and Phai's mother. They asked basic questions about his health and if he had been drinking at their New Years party. They hadn't seen him drink and both were sure he didn't. Of course Olympias assumed Alex's health was fine though she had mentioned he had almost died in the same way when he was a child. However the seizures were new and as far as she knew, Alex never suffered from epilepsy. The only advice the two mothers could give was that Alex has been under a lot of stress and seemed exceptionally and emotionally distant. They asked what new something he could have been stressed about and Olympias brought up that she was pregnant and that he wasn't happy about it at all. Whether that was in relation to it or not, she couldn't help but think that may be the reason Alex wanted to die again.


Happy New Years, everyone! Stay safe and be well! Thanks for the latest reviews from qmjusa and loverofall and for all the readers still tagging along!

-Stranger