51
"You know…" Jack said softly as they waited outside the double doors, the plush carpet eating the soles of their shoes as they fidgeted. "A friend of mine… DeeBeader once said that sex doesn't matter after the deed is done. We should be able to have all the shower sex we want now!"
Ianto slowly swivelled his head to glare a hole into Jack's temple as Jack grinned to himself and added "And really… it's a great shower at the Stained Glass House."
The doors slowly opened and Her Majesty the Queen stood there in a cute periwinkle blue outfit looking at an enthused Jack and an enraged Ianto who was still staring a hole into Jack's brain. "Oh dear. What's he done now?"
Ianto turned his head to smile softly as he went to bow politely and Jack blurted "I knocked him up Lilibet. He's preggers!"
"JACK!" Ianto roared, slapping the man in the forearm and propelling him into the room as she laughed with glee, clapping her hands.
"Perhaps this time we might see more of you and the little one?" she asked as she motored along in her sensible shoes, rushing ahead to get to her chair first "You know, we resented the fact you hid from us too."
"I did not!" Ianto said indignantly, forgetting for a moment who he was speaking to "you got face-time, photos, videos… and I brought him twice for little cuddle sessions each season!"
The doors all closed as the staff retreated and the three were alone as she looked at them both with those intelligent eyes.
"Yeah, eight in a year. Whoop-dee-doo" she said as she settled and motioned for them to sit as well.
"Well, it will all be different this time! I am here now" Jack said as he reached out to pat her arm affectionately "And when he is with me in the car, I will swan in with him for a gander."
"He?" Ianto asked sweetly "and if it's a she, perchance?"
Jack stalled out, then swung to look at him "you think? Might it be? I mean, I thought of another little fella like our Danny Boy but if it's a girl … what… I mean… Toshi for the name right and… will he have my hair? Lovely long dark hair? Not that I don't like yours but…"
"Jack" Ianto said with that stoic calm of a partner about to slap a partner silly "Shut up."
"Right" Jack sat back and beamed at the queen who smiled back affectionately. So pleasing to see him happy as most of the last decade had been … hard.
"So. You must step down" she began and Ianto mad a noise she knew well.
"I can still oversee, Gwen still works!" Ianto said sullenly "I can do that. Be benched. I can still work. Just… leave the rough and tumble to Jack, John and Rex. The really messy and horrible ones to Rex."
"You really do not like him, do you" she tittered softly, motioning for the servants that had re-entered nervously to serve the high tea. They bowed and slipped out.
"He rubs me the wrong way" Ianto agreed.
"You sound like a little kitty cat wanting to scratch his eyes out" she said as she clicked her fingers for her corgis to come, two of them rushing in to sniff at the men excitedly.
"He is a kitty cat. But it's a Tiger, not a little house cat. Nothing timid about him" Jack preened as Ianto glared him and changed the subject. God, cut it out!
"Only two?" Ianto asked.
"Cook is doing a duck pate so they are more interested in morsels" she shrugged. "Apparently I cannot compete with that."
"Ah… the one with the orange tinge? I love that one. Great on crackers" Ianto enthused and she promised him some once it was set. The Chef always did one in a separate little pottle just for Ianto, the praise from the man enough to make the old man blush.
"Well … be it boy or girl… it will be a different pregnancy this time around with some support" Ianto nodded and Jack felt that little bite deep down that he had not been there for Ianto, he had not supported, nurtured … smothered Cariad? … the voice so cheeky that Jack hid his grin. Projecting. Hush now.
Jack grinned as he said out loud "Ianto is more than capable of still assisting you as a liaison between us, UNIT and yourself my sweets. He doesn't have to go into the field. That's what body cams are for."
"Too right" she nodded "I am most agreeable with that, of course, I must announce it. It is my little piece of power right? I announce the impending arrival of MY godchild so UNIT understands that My Man is out of bounds? I was surprised they do not smell out Daniel yet, it's only a matter of time and you become a Person of Interest to them. I must take the time to stress that you are untouchable."
"That would be lovely Lilibet" Jack agreed heartily, then sat back as staff members entered the room with some more finger food.
"Yes, we shall peruse that avenue directly" the queen revered to speaking on a posh tone, the slight Londoner accent she had been using with them gone and a regal one employed.
Jack still could not believe how much of an actress she was.
Still so sweet after all these decades.
Then his brain caught up and he heard what she had said so he raised his eyebrows "Godchild?"
"Well, makes sense since we are already Daniel's Godmumsy" she said with a regal sniff and Jack turned to Ianto who nodded.
Yep.
She was in like Flynn there.
Still crafty too, I see.
