"There you are!" Jack grinned as he headed over to Claire. She had been walking around the little lake in the local park, just enjoying the quiet, and hadn't seen him approaching.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Claire wanted to know.
"Looking for you. Want to feed the ducks?"
He held out a bag of old vegetables, and Claire linked arms with him, heading to where the ducks were gathered. It was nice, walking along in the fresh air, side by side with Jack. They scattered old broccoli leaves and carrot peelings on the water for the ducks to eat, and then Jack slipped his arm around Claire's shoulders as she leaned against his side, and they stood together, watching the ducks peck at the food.
Claire could smell his cologne, and something else that was so essentially Jack, a sweetness in the air that matched his disposition. He felt solid under her cheek, and held her gently, slipping his other arm around her stomach until he was holding her, standing slightly behind her as they gazed out on the lake. He rested his cheek against hers, and she could feel the movements of his breathing.
"It's beautiful," Claire whispered, scared to break the moment.
"Yes, you are," Jack murmured in her ear. It was cheesy and a little lame, but still somehow just what she would have expected from her cousin. She turned her head to look at him, and he leaned closer to her, that soft smile on his lips as they closed the distance to hers. And then they were kissing at the lake, surrounded by each other, absorbed in the connection between their bodies.
The kiss didn't remain chaste for long, and Claire twisted in his arms, pulling him closer to her as she opened her mouth and their tongues danced together. His hands slipped down to her waist, tightening their grip and urging her even closer. Their breaths were stuttered and ragged, and all she wanted was to merge into him somehow, so they would always be connected-
Her alarm went off, and her eyes snapped open. She groaned and pushed her hair back. It was the third time that week she had dreamed of Jack like it. However innocent her dreams seemed to start, they kept winding up like that, in a ferocious make out session.
In real life, she was avoiding Jack as best she could. How could she look him in the eye? He would see it all there, see that she had been thinking about her own cousin like this, and he would hate her. Or worse, be really understanding of her feelings and tiptoe around her. Why did her brain have to do this to her? Why was she questioning her feelings about Jack when all he ever tried to do was understand and help her?
Castiel knocked, and then stuck his head around Claire's bedroom door.
"Morning! Are you ready for the bachelor party?"
Claire nodded, and sat up.
"Let me get dressed."
"Okay, I'll go and wake Jack."
She made herself smile at her father, though it slid off her face as soon as he closed the door behind him. A whole day of just Jack and Castiel was going to be torture. But she couldn't refuse to go, it was going to make her dad so happy, and Dean had already left on his bachelor's. She shrugged into her jeans and a tee, and jogged down the stairs for breakfast. Castiel was already dressed, and clearly in Dean's clothes because Claire was pretty sure her father still didn't own a pair of jeans. He smiled at her as she started to put her sneakers on.
"I thought we'd go out for breakfast. Start the day off with a bang."
"I'm going to eat so many waffles," Jack said as he joined them, grabbing the shoes right beside Claire. She tensed, almost expecting him to hold her the way he had in the dream, but her cousin was oblivious, taking a seat on the bottom of the staircase and kicking his feet into his boots. She glanced at him from under her hair, but Jack was busy lacing his boots up, looking at what he was doing. She looked away before he could finish, and straightened up, arms out for her father's inspection. He mistook it for a request for a hug, and she ended up in a tight embrace.
"This is nice!" He exclaimed. "Excited for the ceramic painting?"
"Don't push it," Claire's voice was muffled against his chest. He laughed and let go.
"Sorry. I'm just looking forward to today. I'll miss Dean, but having the day with the two of you, it means a great deal."
"Are you going to be this cheesy all day, or?" Claire gestured meaninglessly, and Castiel smiled at her.
"I think I'm allowed, since it's a day celebrating one of the last few days my family consists of you and my nephew. Soon we'll be a lot bigger."
"Uncle Cas?" Jack finally spoke. "Maybe pace yourself, Claire will combust before we make it to breakfast."
Castiel let go of Claire, and straightened up.
"Okay, let's go."
They headed out to Castiel's Lincoln, the Impala long gone already, and Claire headed to the front seat at the same time as Jack did, their hands reaching for the handle at the same time and stopping at the same moment too.
"We could flip for it?" Jack teased her. She still wouldn't meet his eye.
"It's my dad's car," she reminded him, looking at the window instead of at him.
"I'm older." Jack countered. Castiel opened his own door.
"I will leave you behind if you can't decide who goes where."
Claire moved wordlessly to the backseat, and Jack slid in right beside her. She could feel the way he was tilting his body towards her, and she concentrated on clipping her seatbelt together.
"Everything okay, Claire?"
"Uh-huh. I need pancakes."
He took another moment to look at her before putting his own seatbelt on, and she looked out of the window instead. She had no idea how to get through the day without some level of interaction with her cousin, but how would she control herself in front of him at the same time? Castiel pulled out of the driveway and headed out of town towards a nearby diner while Claire continued her internal debate.
At the diner, she headed in before them, asking for a table for three and watching as Castiel and Jack seemed to be having a quick talk by the car. When they came in, Jack slipped into the seat beside her as Castiel took the seat opposite, pulling a menu towards him. Claire wished they hadn't been given a booth, there was no escaping her cousin who sat so close beside her that their legs brushed against each other. Her thigh was tingling where they were making contact, and it really wasn't helping her confused feelings about him. She started toying with the Sweet'n'Low packets as she read over the menus that Jack insisted on sharing.
Did he know? On some level, was he trying to wind her up or prompt her to say it out loud?
"What are you going to have on your pancakes, Claire?" Jack wanted to know. "You said pancakes and it totally changed my mind. We could share a couple of stacks?"
Claire glanced up and met her father's eye. He was watching quietly, offering her a gentle smile when they made eye contact.
"You wanna do that, Dad? We all pick a flavour and share?"
"Sounds good to me, Bear." Castiel grinned. Claire nodded, and looked back at the menu.
"Sure, Jack."
They debated flavours until the waitress came back, taking their order and leaving a carafe of coffee on the table. Jack poured himself and Castiel a mug each, and they both sipped their coffee as Claire turned to watch people going by out of the window, half listening as her father and cousin started to discuss what they would be doing for the day. Castiel was dead set on the pottery painting, but after that, he wasn't giving anything away.
"I wanted to surprise you both. I promise, it's a good surprise. I prepared for it last night. Dean said it would make up for the first activity. I know it's my bachelors and all, but I just really want to enjoy the day with you both."
Claire looked back at her father, who was smiling softly at her. The moment was broken as Claire's drink and their pancakes arrived, and they tucked into the stacks, grabbing forkfuls of each choice and having small wars over desecrated pancake chunks, the conversation lulling as they ate except for the exclamations as someone stole a piece they were eyeing up. And all the while, Claire was so aware of Jack beside her, of every flex of his arm and glance he sent her way, of the way he smelled, of every brush against her as he reached to her plate. And overriding all of that, an energy she couldn't place, like him being so close put him in some weird orbit with her body and she wasn't sure how to remove it without offending him.
He sat beside her at the ceramics painting as well, reaching across her for paints, or brushes, or water to rinse his equipment. Castiel was once again sitting opposite them, monitoring the way they were together, making sure neither accidentally ruined the other's work. Jack had picked a cat he was decorating for his mother, and Castiel had chosen a mug, whereas Claire had decided to decorate a photo frame she was hoping would match her room. She didn't want to admit it out loud, but it was actually a nice activity that Castiel had picked. He was in his element, painting his mug, and Jack was having fun with his project, but Claire felt like her soul had been soothed while she picked colours and made gentle strokes against the ceramics. They were quieter after their breakfast, all of them absorbed in their work, and Claire aware of Jack to an unhealthy degree, but when she glanced at her father, he looked so contented. And really, that was all that mattered.
Finally, when they were done with their projects, Castiel drove them to his mystery location. Claire still didn't know the area very well, but after a while, seeing billboards advertising local attractions, she worked out where they were going.
"There's a water park out here?" She asked. Castiel grinned at her in the rearview mirror.
"There is. The weather is gorgeous and I thought it might be fun. I can spend my time in a tube on the lazy river and you two can enjoy yourselves. Bathing suits are in the trunk, and towels. The ceramics was for me, but this is for the both of you."
"It's your bachelors, Dad," Claire protested. "Shouldn't you be doing stuff you want?"
"It's what I want. A day with the three of us enjoying ourselves. We can all go in the tubes if you want. I won't want to go on the chutes with you, but that shouldn't stop you."
"Thanks, Uncle Cas," Jack joined in the conversation. "Of course we're sticking with you, as much as we can. What do I owe you?"
"You don't, Jack. Just have fun."
They parked up in the waterpark lot, and Jack insisted on helping Castiel take everything out of the trunk. Claire stood nearby but could see the two of them talking earnestly and left them to it, knowing one or the other would bring it up if it was anything to do with her. She followed them to the entrance and through the ticket booths, accepting the bag with her possessions in as they split off for the changing rooms.
"Meet back here in five, okay, Claire?" Castiel smiled, before the two of them disappeared into the men's changing areas. She went into the ladies, and found the bikini's her father had packed. And then she freaked out.
Normally she was fine wearing them. She liked swimming, she loved water chutes, sometimes in the summer she sunbathed exclusively in them. There was nothing wrong with a bikini itself. The problem was, she was going to be wearing it in front of Jack, who would be in swimming trunks himself. It felt strange to think they'd essentially be in their underwear in front of each other and then add on the weird effect her dreams were having on her? She chose the set with the tankini top and then pulled her shirt back on over it. Not overdressed for a day at a water park, but not so much skin on show she'd get embarrassed.
When she finally stepped out of the changing rooms, Jack and her dad were already out of theirs, Castiel at a drinks cart ordering them all a bottle of water, and Jack applying sunscreen. She stood in the doorway of the ladies changing room, watching as he massaged the lotion in. The way his fingers worked across his own skin, his concentration as he did it, the way he stretched out as he did it … it was hypnotic.
"Hello? Are you in or out?"
Claire started, and barely glanced at the woman who had snarked at her, wrenching her eyes away from her cousin and approaching her father as she processed how she was feeling having watched Jack apply sunscreen. There was a nagging urge in her belly, and her heart felt like it couldn't find a rhythm. No one ever talked about how unpleasant it was to have all the physical elements of a crush. It felt like how people described a panic attack.
"Hey Bear. Do you have your suit on? I grabbed a couple, I wasn't sure what you'd want."
"Yeah, thanks Dad. Where to first?"
"We'll find some loungers. Jack!"
Castiel waved his nephew over, and Claire slid a pair of sunglasses on, as though that would protect her from her own feelings. She was grateful for them when Jack slung an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. She was grateful as well for her shirt which stopped her from being skin to skin against his torso, because she had no idea what she would do if she felt that sensation.
It was crazy. She had been out with Alex for a few months and never felt like this. Even when she was most okay with kissing Alex, she had never had this nervous energy, this fluttering on her insides, this conflicting need to be with her every second but hating every moment. Did this mean she was most definitely straight? That maybe she wasn't asexual? She could imagine having a conversation with her father about this where he would be reasonable about the way she felt, but if he paused to think about the fact his daughter was distance learning and not interacting with any other kids, and did the math and got to the correct conclusion …
And still, she couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arm around Jack's waist, letting him pull her closer as they followed Castiel towards a spread of sun loungers that had yet to be claimed. She could feel his warmth seeping through her shirt, could feel every point they made contact tinging. Castiel spread their towels on the loungers, and went to put their wallets and phones in a locker so they could leave their towels without worrying. It was the first time in a while Claire was alone with her cousin.
"Hey, Claire? Can you put sunscreen on my back? I can't reach. I'll help you with yours?"
He squeezed her closer against his side for a moment before letting go. She felt like crashing down on one of the loungers without him there. What was she going to do? The nice thing was to help Jack, but it felt like how every dream started. She could see how the dream would go, like a low rent movie where they would help each other with sunscreen as a version of flirting.
"Claire?"
"Um, sure."
He sat down, and she sat gingerly behind him, taking the bottle from him and forcing herself to concentrate on the job and not the way his skin felt under her fingers, but it was hard. His skin was smooth, warm, almost like velvet. She worked as quickly as possible, and then started on her own sunscreen. Jack turned to look at her.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine."
He didn't press it, and Castiel reappeared before long, taking the lounger next to the one they were sharing still.
"I think I'm just going to rest here for a while. You two go have fun. Claire, do you want to leave your shirt here?"
She peeled it off slowly, and Jack held a hand out for the sunscreen without saying a word. She handed it over and moved her hair to one side, keeping her body locked in position as Jack essentially caressed her back, both loving and hating the sensation. She also both hated and loved it when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and crooked his chin on his arms too. If this were one of her dreams, she would at this point turn to look at him and things would quickly get hot and heavy. She kept her gaze on her father.
"Race you to the rapids?" Jack chuckled in her ear. She closed her eyes behind her glasses.
"Can you race around a water park."
He laughed again.
"Come on." He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "See you soon, Uncle Cas."
"Stay safe!" He called back. Safety wasn't the issue for Claire. Jack didn't let go of her hand as they walked around the park, looking for the entrances to water chutes and queuing with the other guests. He only let go when they got to the front of the queue, and her hand felt cold and tingly without his there too. They stepped up to chutes side by side and waited for the signal to go.
"See you at the bottom!" Jack beamed, and took off down his chute. Claire took a deep breath and let the water jets and gravity push her down her chute, letting the water sway her from side to side as she flew along. In no time at all, she was momentarily airborne before crashing into the pool below and going under, swimming out of the way of the chute. Jack swam in front of her, smiling.
"Where've you been? I've been waiting ages!"
She splashed him, and he splashed back until a whistle blew. They were both laughing, and Jack slipped his arm around her shoulders.
"Next one! Come on."
She melted into his side again, this time nothing separating their skin, and Claire could feel her whole system going into overdrive, while Jack was apparently completely unaffected. Or perhaps not totally, he was suddenly much chattier again, talking endlessly as they walked. It didn't matter that Claire wasn't contributing to the conversation, he just seemed happy enough that she was clearly listening.
Later on, Jack had decided to sunbathe for a little while, and Claire had ended up with her father, sharing a double tube and floating along in the lazy river, enjoying the peaceful time with Castiel. They had eaten lunch there, and Castiel had made them wait before going back into the water when they made their decisions, and some of Claire's contentment was from the after effects of the food. She was tracing her finger in the water as they went.
"Are you having a good time, Dad?"
"I sure am Bear. Are you?"
"Yeah. It's been fun with Jack and the different stuff, but this is good too. I guess we won't be getting much time alone now."
"If you still want to, of course we will. We've still got years to catch up on, before you go."
Claire nodded.
"Although, in today's economy, I'll probably be having my grandkids living in yours and Dean's house with us."
"I can think of worse things." Castiel smiled softly to himself. "I did want to talk about you though, Bear. About my honeymoon."
"Dad, please. Is the cowboy hat not enough?"
Castiel chuckled.
"I wasn't going to talk about that. I meant, we'll be going away for a week."
"I know."
"And I'm worried."
Claire looked at her father over her sunglasses. He was watching her through his own shades.
"Well, Dad, you don't have to worry. Wherever you are, you'll be with Dean."
"I meant about you. Dean and I were happy to leave you with Jack, but we've noticed you seem a little distant with him later? It's been better today, but I'm still worried what could happen while we're not there. I've been wondering if, maybe, it might be a good idea to send you to your grandparents instead. You can distance learn there, and then maybe things will be better between you and Jack when you come home?"
"Dad, no!" She sat up, and rocked the double tube so much it flopped her back and covered her father with pool water. "If I go to them, they'll never let me come back home. And I like Jack, we'll be fine!"
"Then what's going on?" Castiel asked as he brushed a few droplets from his arm.
"Nothing. Nothing that you need to worry about. Jack's done nothing."
"I'm not exactly convinced, Claire."
She still couldn't tell him, not if there was already the possibility her father would separate him.
"It's not Jack, Dad. I've had a few bad dreams, and I'm missing Mom, and things are still weird with my friends. But sending me or Jack away will just make it worse, because then it's one more thing weighing me down."
Castiel still didn't look appeased.
"Okay. I don't like the idea of sending you to Moira and Franklin either. But I do expect you to try with him."
Claire nodded emphatically, knowing it was going to be tough. But crush or no crush, she was not going to be separated from her cousin.
