Lunara stirred, feeling the weight of someone laying down beside her. She cracked an eyelid, and seeing that it was still dark, closed it again. She tried to go back to sleep, but her eyes stubbornly refused to stay closed and her mind, no longer foggy from exhaustion, decided that now was the time to turn every thought over and examine it. Sighing, she turned over and mashed the feather pillow into a more comfortable shape. Dim moonlight provided just enough light that she could make out Kaidan's form in the bed next to her.
He laid with his back toward her, his tunic discarded before laying down. The furs were covering his legs and waist, and there was just enough light to make out the silvery lines of scar tissue that crossed his back. She reached out and traced one of the lines with a light touch, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in its wake. Tears welled in her eyes and guilt washed over her as she imagined what he'd had to endure, held captive in that prison for all that time and knowing that she'd known he was there long before she rescued him. Kaidan groaned softly and she withdrew her hand, tucking it under the pillow.
"You didn't have to stop," he said, not turning toward her. "It didn't hurt."
"I'm sorry," she said, angrily swiping at the stray tears that had fallen onto her cheeks.
"Sorry for what?" he said, turning to face her. In the dim moonlight, he could see the tears in her eyes and laid his hand on her cheek, caressing her face with his thumb.
"Everything," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't come to the prison sooner, I knew and I didn't come. I'm so sorry." The thin veil of control she had on her emotions vanished, and the tears fell. Her shoulders shook with deep sobs as he laid facing her, trying to make sense of what she said.
"What do you mean you knew? How could you have possibly known?" he asked. There was a tone of suspicion in his voice, mixed with something else Lunara couldn't quite put a name to. She took a deep breath and held it, quieting her sobs.
"I had a dream and I saw you in that prison. Well, at the time I thought it was a dream, but now I'm starting to think it was more of a vision of some sort, brought on by the effects of poison and being on the brink of death," she said. She lifted her gaze to meet his, but his face was impassive in the darkness.
"Go on," he said.
She tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat and nodded. "When I was fighting the effects of the poison, I saw my sister and she told me that I have some great destiny to save all of Tamriel. But before she appeared, I had several smaller visions. One of them was about a cat with blue fur and orange eyes, with scars on his face." She glanced down toward the bedroll where Inigo lay, snoring softly. "The other," she paused, "was about a man with crimson eyes who was being held as a prisoner of the Thalmor. There were several others as well, some that have happened, and some that have yet to happen. The most recent one to happen was seeing the dragon and fire at Helgen." She stopped speaking, watching his face for any hint of what he was thinking.
He was silent for a long time, but Lunara could make out the twitch of his jaw muscles as he absorbed what she had said. When he made no move to speak, she continued. "I didn't know where they were holding the man I saw-you," she said. "I only got glimpses of places, thoughts, feelings. Just enough that I would recognize it when it came to pass I think. I thought it had been an accident that we stumbled across the prison. My map had blown out of my hands and I had chased it toward the falls when we saw the two Thalmor standing guard at the entrance. The second we entered the prison I felt like I knew the place and when we found you I knew why."
"How long?" he asked.
'Between the time I had the vision and when we found you, five months," she replied. "I don't know if that's how long they had you captive though. But if it is, I'll never forgive myself and I have no idea how you managed to survive that long." She lowered her gaze, fighting the urge to bury her face in the pillow and hide from him.
"Me either," Kaidan said. Truth be told, he had no idea how long he'd been a prisoner of the Thalmor, but he knew he'd wished for death countless times. They'd always managed to heal him before death could take him though, only to start another round of torture. He put a finger under her chin and lifted it for her to look at him. "It isn't your fault, Asynja, and I don't blame you for not coming sooner. It's not like the divines gave you a road map and you ignored them. I've never seen you back down from anything, so I truly believe that if you had known more you would have moved Aetherius and Oblivion to rescue me, not that I deserved it."
His hand moved to caress her cheek and she closed her eyes as he planted a soft kiss on her forehead. She laid her hand on top of his, feeling his calloused knuckles under her only slightly softer hands. "What do you mean by that?" she said. Her voice was thick and the words came out more of a croak than a question.
"It doesn't matter really," he said. "The less said about parts of my past the better."
"You don't want to tell me?" she said, searching his face.
"It isn't something I should burden you with," he said. The look on Lunara's face was clear that she didn't accept this as the final answer, but she didn't argue and he gave silent thanks for it. He knew he'd have to tell her about his past exploits eventually and when he did, she'd probably regret saving his life and tell him to leave. He wasn't ready to face her rejection yet, unsure if he had the strength to resist that dark path again. As long as he was with her, he could feel the warmth of her light and compassion but he knew all too well the dark, cold emptiness that lay just beyond her.
He kissed her forehead again. "Go to sleep, Asynja, I'll still be here in the morning," he said.
She sighed and turned over, settling herself along the curves of his body. He laid his arm across her waist, and she took his hand, pulling his arm up and holding it between her breasts. She lightly kissed each of his calloused knuckles, her breath tickling his skin. She closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her, wrapped in the warm cocoon of Kaidan's arms.
He lay awake for a long time, listening to her even breathing and marveling at how this beautiful, intelligent, very frustrating creature came to be in his life. He knew in his heart of hearts, he'd done nothing to deserve her and he was treading in dangerous territory letting himself fall for her the way he knew he had. If he was to survive the fallout he knew would come when she found out about his past, he had to get his feelings for her on a tight leash.
I'm sure that will be as easy as carrying an entire sea in my hands, he thought. He willed the thoughts away and closed his eyes, settling into an uneasy sleep.
Kaidan woke to the sound of rain pounding on the roof of the inn. The space where Lunara had lain was empty now, and he cast a quick glance around the room and not finding her, sat up on the edge of the bed. He stretched and groaned, looking around for the tunic he'd removed the night before. He pulled it on and reached for the soft leather boots Lunara had given him as a gift when they had been in Whiterun last.
"So I don't have to hear you clanking around the city in your armor," she'd said with a grin. He smiled as her words echoed in his head as the door to the room opened and Lunara appeared, carrying a tray loaded with sweet rolls and crostatas as well as several bottles of mead. Inigo followed closely behind her, drawn by the scent of sweet rolls. Lucien followed him, closing the door behind them.
"Good morning sleepyhead," she said to him. He thought the cheery tone of her voice sounded forced, but he couldn't determine what she was trying to cover with it. "Breakfast is served," she said, motioning to the platter she'd set down on the table. She was still dressed in her robes, her wavy dark hair falling loose. It was almost to her waist now, and Kaidan felt his mouth go dry as he stared at her. A small blush colored her cheeks as she glanced up and saw his eyes on her. She turned away, picked up her gear and left the room without saying a word. The door closed with a small click behind her and the three men looked at each other in bewilderment. Each of them shrugged, and then went to work on the platter of food.
Lunara entered the bathing room, locking the door behind her. She dropped her gear on the bench and leaned back against the door. She couldn't put a name to the way she currently felt and it irritated her. She was surrounded by companions, and at the same time she felt utterly alone. She had a sinking feeling that once they delivered the message about the dragon to Riverwood, someone there would ask her to take the message to Jarl Balgruuf, which meant returning to Whiterun, something she hadn't planned on doing for a long time if she had anything to say about it.
Thoughts of Vilkas and their last encounter flashed in her mind, irritating her even more. She'd known that the cruel things he'd said were to cover up the deeper pain he felt, but she refused to excuse his behavior then. She couldn't excuse it now either, but she wondered just the same if she'd been too hard on him. At one time, not so very long ago, she'd thought she could love him and he could feel the same way in return. She realized now that whatever love lay between them would never have been enough to sustain them, they were too different. She was a healer, he was a warrior and even though she'd become skilled in her own right, he'd never see her as his equal, just as the woman that needed protecting. She tried to push the thoughts away as sadness overwhelmed her. She sank to the floor, her back still against the door. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as silent tears ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away and took deep cleansing breaths. Was Valuxus right? She wondered. Did he ruin me?
No! She thought angrily, as the ever-present knot in her stomach grew hotter. I won't give a dead man that much control over my life. He doesn't get to choose, I do. With that thought set firmly in her mind, she stood up and pulled off her robes, replacing them with her armor. Once she was dressed, she sat on the bench and combed the knots out of her hair with her fingers. She braided it into four braids, each one beginning near her hairline and ending at the crown, tied together with a thin leather strip as the rest of her hair flowed loosely down her back. She stood up and slung her satchel across her shoulder just as a knock came from the door.
"Yes," she said, not opening the door.
"I don't mean to disturb you, mum, but the courier has returned from Whiterun with a message from Danica," Valga said, her voice muffled through the door.
"I'm coming out now, thank you," Lunara replied, opening the door and climbing up the ladder to stand in the large room. Valga stood near her, turning the courier's missive over in her hands. She held it out to Lunara who broke the seal and read it aloud.
Dearest Lunara,
I received your letter and I am heartbroken for the poor souls you and your companions found on your journey. Please send them all to the temple here and I will send word to the other temples throughout the other holds. With any luck, the temples will house them as we try to find them work in the palaces and shops until they can make their own way in Skyrim.
Yours,
Danica Pure-Spring
Lunara looked up from the paper, smiling broadly at Valga, who gave a small smile in return. "This is great news!" she said. "I have to go tell the others. Thank you for bringing this to me." She fished a few coins out of her satchel and pressed them into Valga's hand. Valga stepped to the side as Lunara walked past her toward her room. She burst through the door, almost running headfirst into Lucien.
"I'm so sorry," Lucien said. "I didn't see you there. Is everything alright?"
"Everything is great," she beamed at him and turned toward the others. They had all but devoured the platter of food she'd left them, but they had left her two sweet rolls, a crostata, and two bottles of mead. She uncorked a bottle of mead and held it up in the air. "Danica has written to say that we should send all the girls to the temple in Whiterun and she will oversee everything from there." She lowered the bottle and pressed it to her lips, taking a long drink. The sweet taste of honey danced along her taste buds, a stark contrast to the heat of the Firebrand Wine she liked so much.
"That is great news, my friend," Inigo said. "Now, come eat these sweet rolls before I can no longer resist them."
Lunara chuckled at that, followed by Lucien and Kaidan. She picked up a sweet roll and sat down on the edge of the bed, nibbling at it thoughtfully. "What's on your mind?" Kaidan said, watching her.
She swallowed and took another drink of her mead. "I'm just trying to decide the best way to get everyone to Whiterun. We have to warn the residents of Riverwood about the dragon, but I don't want to alarm the girls. They'll be safe inside the city, but if the dragon attacks along the way…" her voice trailed off as she took another small bite of the sweet roll. "Besides, Lucien doesn't have a horse, so if we go on foot together, it will take a lot longer than by carriage."
She turned her attention to Lucien then. "Can you ride a horse, Lucien?"
"Absolutely not," came the reply. "I have tried, Divines know I have tried, but every horse I try to ride simply throws me off. Or I keep falling off. Either way, I can't ride. I may learn someday, but today is not that day."
Kaidan rolled his eyes. Of course the little milk-drinker can't ride a horse, he thought bitterly. He looked at Lunara who had nodded in response to Lucien.
"Well that only leaves one other option," she said. "We wait until the second carriage comes around and pay them both to make the trip to Whiterun."
"I hate to point out the obvious," Kaidan said, "but we are extremely light on coin at the moment. How do you propose we pay for the carriages? It was 300 septims last time."
Lunara chewed her lip, considering. "Let me worry about that," she said.
He searched her face, trying to get a glimpse of what she was thinking, but whatever it was, she'd kept it from her face. She finished off her bottle of ale and the sweet roll she'd been nibbling on and turned her attention toward Inigo. "You can have the rest. I'm good for now," she said. Inigo's eyes lit up as he grabbed the last sweet roll and finished it in two bites. Lunara laughed and stood up.
"I'll be back in a little while. Will the three of you let the girls know the plan?" She looked around the room and the three men nodded in return.
"You're not going to do anything that will get you arrested, are you?" Kaidan said.
"Well…" she said, "that really just depends on what happens while I'm out." She winked at him as her lips curled into a mischievous smile and he felt his heart skip a beat. "But no, I don't plan on getting arrested. I'm just going to sell a couple of things to the merchants and replenish our potion supplies as well as arrange for the carriages."
"Stay away from the Jarl's longhouse," Kaidan said. "No good can come of that."
Lunara rolled her eyes. "Yes, master," she said, grinning at him. He glared at her and Lucien and Inigo tried to hide their laughter and failed miserably. Kaidan glared at them as Lunara started to giggle. Unable to resist the sound of Lunara's laughter, Kaidan's glare softened and he started laughing too.
