Chapter 43:
Michelle
"Ham and tomato on brown, no butter." I drop it down on Carla's desk as she flashes me an appreciative smile, tucking into it immediately. "I see you've managed to escape the bogs."
"Just." She just groans, mouth full as I watch her warmly. "Mm, thanks for this, princess."
"Princess." I scoff slightly at the word, although it made me feel special at the same time. I watch her hungrily munch on the sandwich, her eyes drifting upwards to notice how I was staring at her. Hesitating, she wipes a hand over her mouth, blushing slightly.
"What?" She pauses, clearly worried I was judging her.
"I love you." I respond and she smiles shyly, taking another cautious bite, more elegantly this time. "It's just nice seeing you happy."
"Well I wasn't about ten minutes ago when Beth caught me hanging over the toilet bowl." She screws her nose up at the thought.
"Reckon she caught on?"
"Did she 'eck." Carla gives a small laugh. "I could be sat in there giving birth, she'd still just be thinking about when her next tea break is." She hesitates, wincing slightly at the image in her head. "...Ugh."
"Dr. Fisher called, from the hospital." I decide to tell her and her eyes cast upwards from where she is rolling the leftover cling film into a ball. "Wanted to see if there was any progress. I told her we got a positive test. I hope you don't mind."
"What did she say?"
"That she's really happy for us and that she's going to email over the details of a midwife who will carry us through from here." I explain. "We make all our appointments with them now. I guess the clinic's job is sort of done."
"Let's hope." Carla just utters, throwing the cling film into the bin with perfect aim. "Male or female?"
"Who?"
"The midwife." I prompt her and she shrugs.
"Do you have a preference?"
"Well I'd prefer a woman if I can."
"Yeah that seems to be your motto nowadays." I dare to joke and she narrows her eyes at me. "I'll let them know. I'm sure it shouldn't be a problem."
"Thanks for sorting all this." She says. "It's like having a pregnancy PA."
"Yes well like I said," I align a few sheets on my desk, sorting through them in order of importance. "I'm going to do anything and everything to make this the easiest it can be for you. I remember I had to make all my appointments without having a clue when I was pregnant with Ali, until I was showing and my parents found out... And Steve barely even knew what a midwife was."
"Seriously?" Carla arches a brow as my eyes drift up to hers.
"Well I mean, Tracy hardly kept him in the loop when she was pregnant with Amy, did she?" I just shrug. "Still, it just makes everything more difficult trying to sort things on your own. We're in this together, yeah?"
"Of course." She smiles appreciatively, reaching for my hand as I give it a reassuring squeeze. "I love you."
Carla
"Hi Johnny." I reach the bar of the Rovers, kissing Kate on the cheek briefly where she is stood gazing into a gin and tonic. "Did you get a parcel delivered to our address? It has your name on it." I pull it out of my bag and he takes it from me, stashing it under the counter immediately. "...Wow. Not another DNA test is it?"
"No." He shoots me a glare. "It's Jenny's birthday present. I knew she would go through my mail otherwise."
"She goes through your mail?" Kate raises an eyebrow as Johnny turns to pour a drink out. "I wouldn't be getting her any presents for that."
"Uh, I can't drink this." I respond bluntly as Johnny puts a glass of wine down in front of me and his brow furrows.
"...Why?"
"Oh, uh... I'm doing that sober October thing." I lie, but he buys it all the same. "Yeah me and Michelle decided to do it."
"Oh... That's very unlike you."
"Well a lot of things about me have changed in the last year." I point out, pushing the wine towards Kate who is giving me a more suggestive glance. "I'll have a fizzy water though if you've got one going."
"Sure thing." He turns, going back to make the drink and Kate elbows me gently.
"Don't even start." I try to force back the smile on my face, and that answers everything for her. It wasn't the way I'd want this to unravel if I had my choice, but when we had to go through countless medical processes to get to this stage, it was very difficult to keep it discreet from everybody. Especially, somebody like Kate.
"Oh my God." She whispers, slapping my arm lightly. "Are you? Are you?"
"Kate, shh." I hiss. "Literally nobody knows."
"How far?"
"How far what?" Johnny puts the drink down, refusing the change I offer him. I discreetly kick Kate's ankle, quickly thinking of another lie.
"Oh I was just saying about this... Run... I'm doing." Stupid excuse. "For charity..."
"You're doing a lot for charity." Johnny scoffs. "Turned into mother Theresa over night, did we?"
"Uh, I happen to be a very charitable... Person." I know how false it sounds, but luckily Johnny wasn't the smartest when it came to analysing women. Unlike his youngest daughter.
"So how far is it then?"
"Um... 6k." I give Kate a sidewards glance, hoping she would pick up on the hint that I meant six weeks, and she gives a small nod, trying to hide the excitement in her eyes.
"Well give us your form then."
"What?"
"Your sponsor form." He holds his hand out. "I'll sponsor yer."
"Oh, there's no need."
"No need?" He laughs. "Well, for a 'charitable' person, you're not very good at raising the funds."
"I left my sheet at home, I'll bring it for you some other time." I dismiss him and he gives in. "Thanks though."
"Uh, Johnny, can we get some service over here?" Kevin calls and Johnny gives a subtle eye roll before heading over to them.
"Wow... It's almost like he owns a pub." Kate jokes under her breath and I whip my head around to face her.
"Do not tell anyone!"
"I won't." She mimes. "Lips are sealed."
"Not even Rana."
"Oh, well I tell Rana everything."
"Well not this." I finalise. "Else we know how that starts. Everyone will know in a week."
"Have you ever thought that maybe not everybody on this street is that invested in wanting to know what goes on in your life?" She teases me and I shoot her a look.
"No." I respond, going back to my drink. "They have nothing better to do."
Michelle
"Hi." Carla beams upon entering the flat, throwing her bag down on the sofa. "Sorry I'm late, I stopped by The Rovers to see Johnny."
"Ah that's alright, good timing actually." I finish dishing up the cottage pie I had made from scratch. "How's Johnny?"
"Fine yeah, just fretting about getting everything perfect for Jenny's birthday." She takes her leather jacket off, drifting around to kiss me quickly, which takes me by surprise. "Hm, you taste nice."
"I got these new cordials since we won't be drinking for a while. Thought we could try them out." I pause in thought. "God I sound so boring."
"No, sounds good. What's for dinner?" She peers over my shoulder. "Smells delicious."
"Cottage pie." I pass her a plate, taking a seat at the kitchen counter.
"You know, you don't have to stop drinking completely on my account." She eyes me up, tucking into her food. "Pointless torture, isn't it?"
"No, I told you. I want to do this together." I return and she smiles to herself, stirring the food around her plate.
"Ok, confession time." Carla lowers her fork, gazing at me and I study her, dreading to think what she was about to tell me. "Two things you're not going to be very pleased about."
"Oh good, right go on then."
"Uh... They're throwing Jenny this big party in The Rovers tomorrow, I said we would go."
"Well, that's not too bad, go on what's the second thing."
"...Kate knows." Carla winces and my eyes widen suddenly.
"Carla! You're only six weeks."
"I know, I know. She guessed! She'd make a brilliant detective that one." She excuses herself. "I told Johnny I wasn't drinking and she was straight on it."
"Well it's only going to be a matter of time before Ali finds out." I sigh. "So much for secrecy, hey?" I continue to stir my food around my plate, before Carla suddenly bolts up, running to the bathroom. "Under any other circumstances I might be offended." I call after her, deciding it best to leave her to it. I knew she didn't love being crowded around when she was chucking her guts up. Instead, I get up, boiling the kettle and making her a ginger tea - an absolute lifesaver for nausea. "You alright?"
"...Onions." She just mutters, finally emerging from the bathroom. "Are there onions in that?"
"Yeah."
"Right well, I can't have onions from now on." She decides, wincing as she pushes the hair out of her face. Letting out a small groan, she flops down on the sofa, pulling a cushion into her lap.
"Here." I hand her the tea and she takes it, peering into the mug cautiously. "Ginger tea, I promise you it'll help. I relied on it."
"Worth a shot I guess." She smiles appreciatively, looking worn down as she rests her head against the arm of the sofa. I perch above her, stroking my fingers through her hair.
"You look tired."
"I feel it." She rubs her eye like a sleepy child. "Is that normal?"
"Yeah, first trimester is the worst." I don't know whether it is supposed to be reassuring or not. "It does get better, trust me."
"You're right, this tea does help." She sips it slowly, her eyes fluttering closed for a second. "Well I'm glad you know what you're doing."
"Want me to run you a bath?"
She tilts her head upwards, mumbling happily as I press a kiss to her forehead. "You read my mind."
Carla
"I have a present for you." Michelle sings as she glides into the bedroom, my head shifting from where I had been half falling asleep in her absence. I feel the covers pull back on her side, and the luxurious smell of our posh shower gel that she had just used began filling my senses.
"Hm?" I force myself round, sitting up against the pillows. Taking the envelope she was holding out, I gaze at her curiously. "What's this?"
"Open it." She sounds pleased with herself and I begin to pull back the paper, reading the sheet in front of me. "I thought you could use a spa day, take the weight off."
"Ah Chelle, that's so thoughtful." I read down the treatments list. "You better be coming with me."
"Course." She furrows her brow. "You think I'm gonna slave away in the office tomorrow while you're getting pampered?"
"Tomorrow?" My eyes widen. "Don't we have that meeting with Jennings?"
"No, they called to move it to Friday." She tells me. "Besides, stop stressing about work. You need this. Just relax for a while okay? Our priority is in here." She places a hand flat against my tummy and I feel the warmth at the contact. A small flutter of butterflies erupts inside me as I slip my hand over hers, unable to hold back a smile. She dips her head slightly, tracing circles on my tummy. "You stop making mummy feel so sick." As the words are breathed I feel a wave of emotion wash over me. Fear, excitement, disbelief, love. She can sense it in my eyes because she pushes a lock of hair behind my ear, focusing her gaze on mine lovingly. "Mummy."
"I'm not gonna get used to that." I admit, biting my lip to stop my smile getting wider.
"You'll adjust quicker than you think." She continues the soft stroke of her fingers in my hair, settling me. "Be stood in the playground before you know it."
"...The playground." I say out loud, the realism only just catching up with me. "Wow... I forget about all that... It's more than just having a baby... Huh."
"Does that scare you?"
"Yes." I respond honestly, a waiver of either laughter or fear sounding in my tone. "...I'll be sixty one when they turn eighteen... Oh my God... What?"
"Calm." She hums, slipping an arm around my shoulders and I lay my head against her, anxieties soaring through it. "One step at a time."
"At least I'm not doing this alone."
"You're definitely not." She reassures me. "Besides, think of all the people who are gonna want to help us out. Kate's already giddy with excitement. We're going to get loads of free babysitting out of her. And Ryan and Ali are going to have a sibling. Ryan will be there to give them too much ice cream and Ali will be around to tell him off for it. And Jenny's going to be annoying as hell. Constantly wanting to hold them, plastering them with photos. I'm sure Maria and Liam will be over the moon as well, it'll be a cousin for Liam, hey? So see, you're definitely not doing this alone."
"Mm, I am very lucky." I reach up to kiss her gently. "I can do this... I can do this."
Michelle
Time away from the street to disassociate ourselves for a day was exactly what we needed. This last year had been incredibly draining, a rollercoaster of gains and losses. Now, more than ever, we needed to take the pressure off. Carla in particular. I knew how she could go into overdrive when she had stresses on her mind, and these early weeks of the pregnancy were sure to be clouding it with anxiety. I couldn't take any risks, both for Carla's health and the baby's. We had already been warned of potential health strains on Carla, following through with the pregnancy so soon after her transplant. She really did need to put her feet up, even if I had to drag her to a spa to do it.
"I'll drive." I offer as we reach the car and she grins, throwing the keys over to me which I catch perfectly.
"Ah, thanks hubby." She teases me. "Is even driving too strenuous for me now?"
"No." I narrow my eyes at her, unlocking the shiny Mercedes. "I just like driving your car, that's all." I start up the engine once she has belted up next to me, glancing behind me briefly. "I think we might be needing to find an additional vehicle soon though."
"Huh?"
"Well, it's hardly the right car to seat a baby carrier in the back."
Carla pauses, looking over her shoulder and holding her gaze at the tightly packed in leather seats. "...Oh..." She trails off, pondering the thought. "I didn't really buy the car with the intention of ever having a kid in the back... Never mind my own kid... That I had with my wife..."
"Been quite a year, huh?"
"Yeah." She laughs nervously, turning back to me. "You could say that." It's practically whispered as she fiddles with her hands for a moment, leaning her head against the window and watching the world go past. I refrain from saying anything until we have pulled up at a set of lights, glancing across to see a wistful expression painted on her face.
"What's on your mind beautiful?"
"Hm?" She snaps back to reality, looking at me.
"You... You look a million miles away." I let out a soft laugh, letting go of the gear stick to run a hand through her hair. "Not feeling sick are you?"
"When don't I." She smiles, holding my gaze for a second. "Green light." Her eyes dart to the windscreen and I furrow my brow. "Michelle, green light."
"Oh!" I snap my head around, hearing a beep from behind me and immediately pulling away again.
"Just can't take your eyes off me, can you?" I don't even have to look at her to know she is biting her lip mischievously.
"Shush you, full of yourself." I blush slightly, before realising she had diverted the topic. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question. What were you thinking about?"
"Just... How I feel like I haven't had a second to breathe..." I can tell she is hesitant to admit it to me. "This year... You know? Everybody finding out we had fallen in love, including ourselves. The kidney transplant, losing Aidan, the wedding, you being in hospital... Twice. The whole battle with the factory ownership... Now a baby. It's like... A year ago I was in Devon... I've had some eventful years in my time but this... This has really been something."
"...At least it hasn't all been bad, hey?" I reach over to squeeze her hand quickly and she nods her head. "Anyway, this year is nearly out. Let's hope the next one goes a little more smoothly."
"Ha, chance of that." Carla taps her tummy lightly and I have to force back a secret smile when I notice. She was right, this was mad. There were days I woke up thinking it was all a bizarrely long and very detailed dream. But I wouldn't have it any other way. This, right now, was all I needed.
"Thanks Chelle, I really needed this." She finds me lazing around in the hot tub after her facial is finished. Smiling in greeting, she takes a seat next to me, warm bubbles rising slightly to hug me tighter. She sips on her fizzy water, closing her eyes and leaning her head back for a second. I wished I could make her feel this peaceful all the time.
"You seem shattered babe." I dare to comment and she just nods, not opening her eyes for a moment.
"Well I can't have my ten cups of coffee in the morning at the moment, can I?" She points out, although I knew that wasn't the real reason.
"You're worrying about something." I make the observation that had been on my mind all day, maybe for longer. It causes her eyes to open and her head to turn, eyes focused on mine as if trying to read my own mind. For a moment, I feel she may snap at me. Maybe I had even offended her. Instead, she lets out a soft sigh, shifting up and resting her head on my damp shoulder. "Talk to me." I plant a kiss into her hair, running my fingers up and down her arm, droplets of water leaving footsteps behind them.
"Well I'm not going to be able to relax fully until the scan, am I? Maybe even the second scan." She admits, quietly. "You feel the same, don't lie."
"Yeah I know." I whisper, pressing another kiss against her exposed shoulder, lips resting on her silky skin for an extended moment. "But we've got to find a way around this. You can't spend the whole first trimester waiting for something to go wrong."
"I'm not waiting for something to go wrong, I'm praying things will go right." She responds, swishing the bubbles around in front of her distractedly. "I really really don't want to lose it. Them." She corrects herself and I close my eyes, trying to think of something to say that would stop this paranoia. She was right, I was scared shitless all the same, for the exact same reasons. But I knew it wasn't healthy for either of us. Couples should enjoy this time more than anything. It was valuable, precious. Yet we were both checking off every day that passed on the Underworld calendar with a sigh of relief. Maybe this was normal for women who had both lost children. Or maybe we were being extra paranoid.
"We need to stop thinking of the worst case scenario, baby." I say after a while. "We need to be optimistic, hey? Everything's fine at the moment. You know, something bad doesn't always have to happen." She stays silent, reaching for my spare hand in the water and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Everything is going to be fine. Okay? I can sense it. This is our time to be happy. And in love, hm?" I dot kisses down the side of her face, noticing the corners of her mouth tweak upwards. "Make the most of it. This is the last peace and quiet we'll get for a long time."
"Mm yeah that's reassuring, thanks gorgeous." She mutters sarcastically, although I can tell she has been melted by my words. "Are you happy?" She suddenly asks, pulling back slightly and weighing up my expression.
"Yes. Of course I am." I tell her the truth, keeping my voice gentle. "...I think this is the happiest I've been in a long time. Everything's coming together."
"You seem... More yourself."
"Well I'm not jumping out of my skin every time somebody rounds a corner." I murmur, casting my eyes down to the water. "Maybe I'm finally getting to the other side."
"And I am so proud of you." She hangs off the word, gazing at me for what feels like an eternity before moving in, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her forehead rests against mine, heat colliding. I feel her eyes reading my expression, even with mine closed. "Always." She whispers, before meeting her lips with mine.
Thanks for all your lovely reviews! I'm glad people are still enjoying this story. The next chapter is one of my faves hehe, it should be up soon!
