A/N for 2021-01-01: I hope your new year is going well. This story is coming to its conclusion, wrapping up by about chapter sixty or sixty-one. As always, I offer my many thanks to the two betas who work on this story, Chayasara and Eeyorefan12. Amongst many other things, these two very sharp women pick up on my spelling errors (hanger and hangar) and remind me that two vampires and a giant wolf take up a lot of space. This story would be nowhere near where it is without them.
As well, for those of you who enjoyed reading A Perfect Metaphor, I just added a futuretake to the story, which you can find on this site, under A Perfect Metaphor: Outtakes.
Happy reading!
Erin
"We knew this could happen," Bella said as Edward placed his phone on the table.
He stared down at it, frowning. "Not for years." He shook his head and moved to the window, pacing slowly as he put his hand to his head, curling his fingers tightly into his hair.
"They gave you a deadline to change me," Bella said, "and once you told Carlisle to tell the family about my change, it was inevitable that Alice would see it." What had he expected would happen?
He shook his head again. "Informing Aro through Alice was to show them I had met their conditions. Even if he wanted proof, the Volturi move in their own time—very slowly. This is . . . far too fast for them."
And too soon for me, Bella thought. Her training, as Edward had called it, had not progressed as much as she wanted though he assured her that she was making remarkable headway given her newness to her vampiric state.
"We can push it for another month, certainly, but beyond that . . ." When Edward looked at her, she saw the worry in the set of his jaw.
She nodded, chewing on her lip before she thought better of it. It was a human habit she'd carried into this life, but it was not one that was comfortable for a newborn still learning to temper her strength.
"It'll be okay. We'll go together." Edward said.
She snapped her head up as she was struck by a frightening realization. "You can't go with me."
He stared at her. "You think I'm . . . You want to go alone?" He shook his head quickly. "You—do you really think I would let you—that I would trust anyone else to go with you?"
How could he not see this? She stared at him, absorbing his words and trying to understand where his answers were coming from. It didn't take her long to trace her way back to their roots. The memories were vague, but he had made a promise to her that he intended to keep, a promise that he would never willingly abandon her. She needed him to understand that this wasn't the same thing. "You can't go, Edward," she said softly.
Edward moved towards her, reaching out and taking her hand and rubbing it gently. He spoke in a low near-whisper. "Demetri will be there, Bella. Think about that."
A frisson of anger pulled a low growl from her throat.
"And while you're showing remarkable control for a newborn, I wouldn't put it past him to try to provoke you so that you'd be at the mercy of Volturi justice."
He had a point. She wasn't her most cool and logical, but she was still herself . . . most of the time. If it came to being tested by the Volturi, she would have to master her restraint even if she feared she couldn't. She had to, because there was no way she was going to risk Edward's safety, not after what she'd seen during her first visit to Volterra. "If you go, Aro will want to read your mind. He'll want to read mine, too, but we don't think he'll be able to. We know he'll be able to read yours."
"As he's read it many times before."
"But this time, he'll see that you've used Jacob to shield our plans from him, which will endanger Jacob and potentially the other Quileutes too. He'll see everything you've seen in Jacob's mind as well—all the tribe's secrets."
This seemed to give Edward pause but only momentarily. "And what do you think Jacob would say if I told him that you were concerned about his safety, trying to justify walking into a nest of hostile vampires by yourself?"
She could well imagine what Jacob would say just as she could also see that Edward was not blind to the main reason he couldn't go with her to Volterra: he was just ignoring it because he was frightened for her.
"Do you think I'm going to let myself be baited by Demetri?"
He scowled slightly at the name. "Not intentionally, no."
"But you think I'm weak or immature?"
"Of course not. It's that . . . you're still adjusting."
"Has Jacob baited me?"
Jake had tried when they'd been hunting. Nothing too bad, but there had been a few poor jokes that had tested the edges of her forbearance. She'd managed to ignore his trying to be annoying.
"That's not the same thing at all. Jacob is not Demetri."
"And we carry our traits from our human lives into this one. I controlled myself around Demetri then, and I can do it now."
Edward paused, looking down briefly and nodding. "It isn't a question of your being able to deal with him. I think you're strong enough for that. But I'm not going to leave you to face this by yourself."
Still bent on protecting me, she thought.
She spoke softly. "And if I want to go alone, to do this by myself?"
He still had her hand in his, and the grip tightened marginally.
She continued speaking. "If you go with me, I will be worried to the point of distraction, and while you might be there to protect me, you might be the reason I need protection because of my abstraction. Aro will read your mind, Edward. He won't just learn about how the wolves can block Alice's gift, he'll know that you tried to deceive him and keep me human. He'll see that your family will have realized that, too, at least Carlisle did. That puts everyone in danger, everyone that we both love. And if I'm worrying about that while I'm trying to keep my crap together around Demetri—things could be really, really bad."
His grip became iron. "I completely and utterly failed to protect you the last time you went to Volterra, and you're asking me to let you go there without me—without any protection." He swallowed, his face creased with worry and fear—with shame.
Carefully, so as not to physically hurt him, she extracted her hand from his, raising and pressing it against his chest. "You have given me the greatest protections I could have: your love and a new life with you—one worth fighting for." She made sure his gaze was fully fixed on her before she continued speaking. "You have already protected my heart and body. Demetri will not be a problem. Aro will want to see that I'm a vampire and if I'm gifted. And since I have no gifts, it's going to be a quick hi and bye, and then I come home to you."
Edward brought his own hands up to cup her face. "Things are never simple or quick with the Volturi, Bella. Never. It will be by the purest luck that it transpires that way."
She could not help but notice the "will"—not "would."
"Thank you," she said softly.
"For what? Letting you talk me into being a coward?" Edward dropped his hands to his sides and looked away.
She scoffed aloud. "That's something you could never be." She carefully reached for him again, placing her hands on his shoulders, drawing him closer, willing him to meet her gaze. When he finally did so, she raised one hand and, with infinite care, stroked his hair back from his forehead.
"Thank you for believing in me."
He wrapped her in his arms, pulling her against him. She returned the hug as gently as she could.
When their embrace ended, he caught her gaze again, his face full of serious intent. "If I'm even going to entertain this, we need to make a plan."
"Then let's make one."
- 0 -
"We can get a little closer," Jacob said, lifting his chin in the direction of the distant and isolated house.
"Um, yeah, no," Bella said. She scanned the area around them, looking for signs of Edward's return. There was no way she was risking anything without Edward right beside her.
"I wouldn't let you do anything." Jacob appeared offended by her inferred lack of trust.
"Uh huh," Bella said. "You want to turn into a wolf and take me down without waking anyone up. That'll be low-key."
Jacob scoffed. "I'd do that well before anyone heard or saw us."
"So you like to think."
"I'm fast."
"You're not that fast," Bella said, arching an eyebrow.
"You wouldn't know," Jacob said, arms crossed, mirroring her expression.
"And we're not going to find out right now." He wasn't seriously entertaining this stupid idea, was he?
Jacob grinned.
No, he wasn't. It was a relief to realize it.
"But later?" Jacob asked.
"Maybe later. Don't want to hurt my best friend's body or ego. And you do realize Edward can't be anywhere nearby." She punched him playfully on the arm.
"Ow!" he rubbed at the spot.
She gasped. "Sorry!" She really didn't know her own strength yet—
"Just kidding." He laughed and danced back a few steps when she aimed a slightly less playful punch at him.
"See? Fast."
Bella's body tingled with awareness, and she turned abruptly to face Edward as he approached nearly silently from behind them. The tingle turned into a delightful shiver.
"Well?" she asked.
"One person soundly asleep." His serious tone swept away the playfulness she'd been starting to enjoy with Jacob. She didn't doubt that had been his intention. "Are you ready?"
"Yes." It felt like a lie, saying it, but she was as mentally ready as she could be. She thought of Charlie and Angela and all her other human friends. Then she thought of the monstrosity of the Volturi, the shiny flash of red foil wrappers in little sticky fingers. It was a different sort of shiver that made her frame ripple with revulsion. "Yes, I'm ready."
Jacob stepped away and shifted into his other self, returning silently to stare at her with large, watchful eyes. She would not break trust with what those eyes held in their depths nor with what she hoped for herself.
Edward and Jacob walked ahead of her as they moved into a position downwind of the distant house. When the breeze stirred the night air, she saw them both stop and then turn back to face her. It was a fraction of a second before she realized why.
"Oh."
As Edward had instructed, she kept breathing as the new scent wafted over her, letting the fire in her throat burn. She could feel the pull of something inside her, some desire stronger than she'd ever felt before, tugging hard at every sense, trying to drag each of them beneath the surface of her conscious thought. She resisted, keeping all her senses in their places, strung together in a fragile web of awareness and moral concept. With painful and slow determination, she pinned the points of this web in place with deliberate recollections, the points representing Charlie, her mother, Phil, Angela, and then the nameless and indistinct faces of all the people she'd seen go to their deaths in the Volturi's damnable throne room.
I will not be like the Volturi, she promised herself. Not like them.
With the resolution in place, she made herself step closer to the source of the burning.
Edward said nothing as he and Jacob soundlessly matched her steps.
The fire intensified. The blood will be delicious, and it will make the burning go away, her hunger promised. Its seductive tendrils slithered up her throat and along her arms, trying to dislodge the memories pinning her senses in place. Delicious. Satisfying.
Charlie, Angela, Renee, Phil. She repeated the names in a silent litany, forcing ever-changing recollections of their faces to move across her consciousness. She would be in control. She would not be a monster.
They were outside the door when Jacob suddenly emitted a low growl.
Bella froze. Had she done something wrong? Did Jake sense something she did not?
"She's fine," Edward murmured.
Bella turned to look at Edward. He was standing only inches away, but he made no move to restrain or even touch her in response to whatever Jake was thinking. Instead, he gave her an encouraging nod.
"What's Jake saying?"
"He's just more anxious in wolf form. Nothing to worry about. You're in control. You can do this."
Could she? Jacob clearly didn't think so.
She checked herself again. The burning had not abated the slightest bit, but her web felt stronger, its points more surely pinned. Edward was right.
"I can do this," she said firmly.
She looked at Jacob as she said it, and he made a movement that she was sure was the equivalent of a wolfy shrug.
If it wouldn't have broken her concentration, she would have laughed at this display of his personality.
"Whenever you're ready," Edward said, indicating the door in front of them with a tilt of his head.
She tested the points of her control again. Yes, she was ready now.
At her nod, Edward turned the knob and quietly opened the door. Slowly, she stepped inside where the scent felt like it would drown her. It was like being crucified, trying to hold on to her web with the pull of monstrous desire nearly ripping her apart.
"I can do this." The words were a feral growl as she repeated them through clenched teeth. She barely recognized her own voice.
Planted just inside the door, she regarded the frail man's age-weathered hands and face, knowing he was a person with a life and loves and reasons to live. The fire receded —first from her hands and feet, then shrinking to her throat and then into her stomach where it fizzled into a low but manageable simmer.
She was not a monster.
"You did it." Edward's hand brushed against hers, the first time he had touched her throughout the ordeal, the pride evident in his voice. She had done it. Stood by a human. She was standing by a defenseless and vulnerable human and not out of her mind with thirst.
Her excitement made the flames flicker in her throat. She quickly doused them again. She was one step closer to travelling to show herself to the Volturi and perhaps even one step closer to helping to extract Alice and Jasper from their servitude and reuniting her new family
- 0 -
Bella never thought she'd find herself longing for the ability to fly on a commercial airline, certainly not as a newborn vampire. Still, travelling by such means would have forced a separation from Edward long before Bella had to step onto a plane. As it was, she stood outside the hangar of a remote airfield with her back to him, his arms around her, his face pressed against her hair, his hands moving up and down her arms. She understood the action was meant to soothe her, but she knew it was an attempt to soothe himself too.
Being apart had been painful when she was human. The idea now was torture. They hadn't been away from each other for any time at all since her transformation almost two months before. This would be a period of days, given the logistics required for international travel.
And such travel it would be.
The long-range Gulfstream was an aircraft that even she could appreciate. Edward had given her the tour of the Cullens' private jet when it had landed. Now that the other Cullens knew of her change, using the family resources was of no consequence. Edward would travel home to Forks with Jacob on a commercial flight to wait for her arrival—a most discreet affair that would be conducted under the cover of night. She couldn't be seen by anyone she knew, but it would allow for—here she shied away from the unhappy thought. It was easier to think more generally about how her human life would appear to come to an end, not how it would break Charlie's heart in the process.
For now, she needed to focus on the task at hand. They would say goodbye. She would fly to Pisa and drive to Volterra in a car already waiting for her in Italy, stopping in a remote area Edward had marked on a map to hunt along the way. She would present herself to the Volturi and then leave, returning home to her mate and her family. She had no desire to linger in Italy nor did she think she could bear to be separated from Edward for a minute longer than was necessary.
The jet's two pilots were behind schedule. Bella watched as they circled the plane on the tarmac, going through a safety check. She had heard them discussing a problem with the fuel truck. It was fixed now, but her departure time had been pushed back.
Edward's hands kept firmly stroking up and down her arms.
"Just a few days," she said, reminding him, reminding herself.
Edward's hands slowed. "Yes." His tone was even, but she knew the feelings hidden behind his calm veneer. She felt them too.
Crud. She would have been better off waiting silently. She'd had to reassure him repeatedly about her going alone. He'd argued to accompany her to Britain at least, pointing out that he would be safe at such a distance. She'd countered that it would do nothing but strengthen his scent on her, possibly rousing suspicions on Aro's part if Bella's mind was shielded to him. No, they needed to part here in Argentina. She steeled herself for a renewal of Edward's arguments, mentally mustering her own counterarguments in case they were needed.
She was ready. Her ability to be near humans was irreproachable. She had passed every test Edward could devise, and the tests had been thorough. Short of shoving a bloodied human in front of her, Edward had done everything else he could think of to make sure she was prepared to encounter human beings. In the last week, he, Bella, and Jacob had walked the streets of the nearby town, ridden alone in taxis and then in buses packed with locals, and as a final test, had passed by the ventilation outlets for the surgical wing of the hospital in Salta, the scent of blood damp and heavy. It had been its own torture, withstanding the enticing odour, but she'd done so, holding her breath for periods of time, pinning her constellation of humans in place. There were too many people she loved—human and vampire alike—whose safety she would not risk. She was ready.
Edward knew she was ready too. She'd read it enough in his eyes and body language. He was as proud of her as he had been demanding throughout this process.
It just sucked that she had to do this at all.
"It's just a hi and bye," she reminded him.
"Hi and bye," he repeated, his nose buried in her hair. "And if there are any problems, my young Padawan?"
"Do you want me to recite the entire plan for you right now, Jedi Master Cullen?" If only either of them had such powers. At least he had made an attempt at humor for her sake.
"No." She felt his lips move into a smile. "But I'm glad you know it by heart."
She rested her hand on his chest, pulling back so she could see his face.
"We're ready," one of the pilots called. "And if we're going to make our timeslot . . ." He looked at his watch.
Bella nodded in the pilot's direction and then turned back to Edward. "I should go."
His jaw tightened and he nodded too, wrapping her tightly in his arms. She returned the hug, finally confident in her ability to do so without hurting him. As she walked towards the plane, though, she glanced back, seeing the carefully concealed anguish in his expression, a feeling she knew they shared. She forced herself to lift her hand in a mock salute, grinning at him, and was rewarded with that crooked smile that could still turn her insides to mush. Blowing a final kiss, she stepped inside the plane, the flight attendant shutting and latching the door behind her.
DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.
