"Are they aware that they're doing something illegal right now?" Mari barked from the driver's seat of the truck. "It is illegal to not move for emergency vehicles."

"You're one to talk about legality and driving," Chim commented.

"Eddie, be a dear and shove him out of the cab."

She yanked the truck into a stop and threw a glare over her shoulder before stomping out with a huff. Bobby exchanged a glance with the other four, knowing what they were all thinking. Ever since the fight between her and Buck and the tsunami that followed, Mariana had been chewing everyone out. Eddie was lucky to get away from the worst of it but now he had to deal with Momma Bear Mariana who was constantly fussing over Christopher. He could sense something was off but she refused to open up. It wasn't rare for him to wake up in an empty bed to find her seated out on the front porch watching the sun rise. Occasionally she would have her phone in hand, thumb poised over Buck's name.

But she never called.

"You and I both know we would be here much faster if it wasn't for fucking idiots," Mariana snapped.

"Someone's gonna have to explain that to the new fire marshal," Hen hummed.

"Yeah, whatever," she muttered.

/

"I wasn't really sure what to say after that," Chim sighed as they suited up for work. "Hey Maddie, you know I'm nothing like your psycho ex-husband, right? I'm not the kind of guy you need to be afraid of. Cause she was. I mean, it was just for a second but she looked scared. Not sure what to do with that."

"Chim, PTSD can affect survivors at the most random times. Triggers come out of nowhere. Once Eddie asked me to grab socks for Christopher and I damn near ran out of the house. It's hard but you have to communicate around triggers." Mariana nudged Eddie who was yawning next to her and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Is my crisis boring you?" Chim drawled.

"Sorry, didn't get much sleep last night. Christopher's been having nightmares ever since the tsunami."

"He and half the city. That's expected though, right?" Chim sighed.

"He's waking up screaming and crying. I tried talking to him about it but he won't open up to me. Says he's fine."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mariana exclaimed. "Eddie, I know the number of a child psychologist in LA."

"I didn't want to worry you," he assured her. "You've been dealt a full deck recently and the last thing you need is something else on your plate."

"Christopher is not just something else, okay? You do not get to determine what I can or cannot handle, Edmundo," she hissed. "I am fine."

She turned to walk upstairs and saw Buck standing near the stairs. The latina set her jaw, shook her head, and went left towards the supply closet instead. She was tired of dealing with people right now.

/

Inhaling deeply, Mariana laid back in the tub with her eyes screwed shut. The warm water washed over her face and threw her into memories.

Rain clung to every part of her as she stared at the house before her. The officer that stood behind her rested a comforting hand on her shoulder as they watched Daniel be walked out of the house in cuffs. Neighbors stood on their porches and watched, horror creeping into their hearts as they realized what happened. All those times they saw the teen girl with casts and bruises...it was never volleyball like Valentina told everyone.

"This is all your fault," Valentina hissed as she passed her niece. Mariana jutted her chin out defiantly and pulled Luis closer to her side, her dark eyes staring her aunt down. Fear crawled up her chest and into her throat but she wouldn't let herself be scared anymore.

The icy cold rain stung her skin as she stared out at the ocean. She gripped the phone in her hand loosely and watched as the blood on her clothes drifted into the sand and into the sea. In a moment, she would return to work and try to save someone else but for now she just felt completely broken. Her eyes looked so scared before she passed and yet Jess died with a sense of relief almost. It wasn't fair. None of this was right.

As the water nipped at her feet, Mariana wondered what it was like to be dragged down into the depths and taken out to sea. Her body was so tired and the concrete was digging into her fingers. Maybe her nine lives were up and this was the final time. Her fingers started to lose a hold on the rocks and she inhaled deeply in preparation. She didn't want to go...Christopher had a class party in a few days and she needed to bake cupcakes for them. Maybe she was scared.

A heavy gasp escaped her lungs as Mariana sat up, breathing heavily from the extended time she was submerged. Music rang from her phone and she fumbled with the device until she answered with a shaky "hello?".

"Can you come over right now?" Eddie asked bluntly. She ran a trembling hand over her soaking hair and exhaled nervously.

"Yeah, yeah. What's going on?"

"Christopher had another nightmare and he's asking for you. I tried to calm him down but he's pretty shook up. I think he needs to see that you're okay after...everything."

"Give me thirty minutes," she promised.

As promised, she appeared on his doorstep thirty minutes later with her wet hair thrown in a messy braid and clad in sweats. She barely said a word to him before she headed straight to Christopher's room and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"You're okay, buddy," Mariana assured him. She dropped a quick kiss to his head and rubbed his back. "I'll stay right here until you fall asleep."

"Love you, Mari."

"Love you too, bud."

/

"Oh, everyone loves having shifts with me," Mariana mocked as Hughes pulled the ambulance up to the scene. Cops were already swarming the area of what was radioed in as a gang shooting.

"Rumor is it that you're bad luck," Hughes teased and Mariana swatted at her, dramatically rolling her eyes. The two paramedics hopped out and made their way towards where the cops waved.

"Looks like a superficial GSW to the outer thigh and another GSW to the shoulder. Pack it, wrap it, transport," Mariana announced as they crouched by the body. "Vitals look good, probably passed out from shock or the pain."

"I've always wondered what being shot feels like," Hughes mused.

"Hurts like a bitch when you eventually wake up," Mariana snarked. "Before you even think about apologizing, it's fine. I joke to cope. Now, roll him."

Hughes started to roll the patient so Mariana could check if it was a through and through when the patient snapped to attention, pointing a gun directly at Mariana's face. The world seemed to slow and go silent and she inhaled sharply.

"Are you going to let me help you or are you going to shoot me?" she asked quietly. "Because I can't help you if you shoot me."

"You're going to send me to jail," he said, voice trembling alongside his hands.

"No, I'm going to take you to the hospital. How old are you?"

"Why do you care?" He jabbed the gun closer to her but Mariana didn't move.

"Listen, I have a family I need to get home to. I have a son and a man waiting for me at home. I have a father and a mother and friends and I have a brother, okay? And they all want me to come home just like your family wants you to come home, okay? So please, give me the gun and we can take you to the hospital and I will help make sure you get the help you need. I know people, okay?"

He stared at her for a beat and then slowly placed the gun in her outstretched hand. Mariana immediately moved back as she took it apart and then kicked the pieces away from her. Before the police could descend, she held up her hand to order them back.

"He's just a kid. Sixteen, I'd guess. So we're going to take care of him, okay?"

She made her way back to his side and silently started to work. Hughes grabbed her shoulder and Mariana practically jumped out of her skin. "You good?" Hughes whispered.

"Yeah, laugh to cope, right?"

If she broke down sobbing that night after the nightmares that plagued her mind, she wouldn't admit to it. She found herself missing Eddie's bed with him pressed against her but she couldn't possibly put this on him. Christopher should always be his number one priority. She couldn't call Buck either.

So she rolled over, holding her cold pillow to her chest as she tried to stop the tears from rolling down her face as memories of blows upon her back ran through her head.

A/N: to answer some questions in the comments:

yes! I did start posting this on ao3 under landy76. my 911 group encouraged me to post it there. it's also on wattpad which is where the original story is posted and why i decided to switch back instead of writing two different stories with the same person.

and no, Mariana and Buck are remaining best friends/chosen siblings. It was just too hard to balance two stories for 911 plus write my first poly ship. Sorry y'all :(