I apologise for the slight delay in this chapter. I have been in denial about the end being so close so I put my head in the sand. That, and I wanted to end it in the best way so I spent hours in my head going through how to do that. This chapter started as something but then moved into something completely different. I think I have earmarked a maximum of two more chapters left :( but I am hoping it'll do the story justice. I already have another short story penned to about 70%, and another long story in my mind so all is not lost. Enjoy! (if FFnet would also fix the uploading issue that would be great so I don't have to do it on my phone! lol)
Carson had always been quietly intrigued by the intimate intricacies of relationships. How did they work once they were established? What did it feel like? How was it to wake up every day knowing that there was someone in the world that cared for him as deeply as anyone could? It had been a quiet intrigue because he had never really thought that it would happen after a certain age. A man like him was destined to live out his days working hard, keeping propriety and doing whatever was required to keep other people appeased. Every time he had a moment to think about anything other than work, he found himself in awe of his situation and wondering if the fingers of fate had really earmarked his life for happiness at the point when it was most required. Life was funny. Life was full of surprises and twists. It had always been the twists of life in other people's lives, though, and now he found himself in the middle of it himself.
It was the third day back in his role and he was feeling it. Having succumbed to idleness for such a prolonged period of time, his body had certainly gotten used to the restricted energy expenditure. When the nights had hit he had found himself carried away into sleep before he had even taken a moment to adjust the sheets to his liking. Each night he always spent some time with Mrs Hughes like he had used to, but now it meant so much more. It was also meant to be lighter duties than normal, and he had been silly to push himself into it like a speeding train as he did. But then, that's the only way that he knew how to do it. If he was going to do his job it needed to be done properly. In a way, it wasn't a bad thing because Mrs Hughes would often take time to check on him. In those moments, when the door was closed, he would be able to touch her, talk to her and appreciate her as if they were in their own secluded space. People knew to knock anyway.
Having been back at work for a few days, and also the knowledge being open within the occupants upstairs, it hadn't taken long for the news to move through the downstairs ranks. People were surprised, but they were also happy for them. Thomas had dropped a few annoying remarks like he normally would, but it had been accepted into open arms. Everything really was falling into place.
One of the things that had weighed heavily on his mind was thoughts about the ring. Carson had wanted to ask Mrs Hughes the question properly, as he always liked to do. They weren't cheap, and the cheap ones just were not to the level that Mrs Hughes deserved. In the days ahead he knew he wouldn't have the time to go out and start looking at them. There was no rush, but there was an impatience now in him. Life could throw the strangest of situations, and the last thing he would ever want is for something to make it harder for him to do what he so desperately wanted. Perhaps he could ask for some time to go to York to look? What would he even look for? What would be the best one? Would he know when he saw it? Carson was not very in touch with women's sensibilities and the world he had come into contact with such things was not the world that he lived in. Perhaps he should ask someone for some help? Anna? Or Mrs Patmore?
It would help him to have a female perspective on it, so he looked at the clock to see if it would be a suitable time and then left his pantry.
"Anna," Carson said quietly as he came across her in the hall. As he did he turned to look around to see if Mrs Hughes was nearby. "Could I borrow you for a second? If you're not busy?"
Anna peered up at Carson, as she often did, to try and figure out what the request was for. The look behind his eyes told her that it wasn't quite work-related, so she smiled. "Yes, of course. I've just got Lady Mary dressed so I'll be free for a short while.
Carson nodded and stepped aside with his arm sticking outwards to allow her past. "How is Lady Mary today?"
"I see improvement in her every day. She's strong, much stronger than I think even she can appreciate sometimes. I think we are most certainly over the hill, Mr Carson." Anna entered his pantry and stood waiting for him to take a seat. When he signalled for her to take the unoccupied chair, she obliged and sat down.
"So, obviously the news has broken about myself and Mrs Hughes. I have to say I would have liked to announce it myself, but these things move at such a pace sometimes it's like a raging bushfire. If people put as much effort into spreading gossip as what they did working, this house would be finished and sorted by midday. Anyway," he said pausing to clasp his hands together. "I wanted to ask your advice, actually, as a married woman, if you will permit me?"
Anna, who had slouched slightly, adjusted herself so she was sitting up so she could give him her full attention. What could Mr Carson want to ask her about marriage? "Yes, of course, Mr Carson. I'll help if I can." The nerves behind his eyes were quite obvious and her level of intrigue was at a heightened level.
"I want to ask Mrs Hughes to be my wife. With everything that has gone on, I want to give her something that will be as fitting to her as she is to me. I'm a modest man, and I spend very little on myself because I have everything I need at the moment. I want to buy her an engagement ring so I can ask her to be my wife properly. We know we are going to marry, and I told her that I would do it properly. I just...I know very little about the best ring to buy. I wanted to ask you what you thought would be best, or if you could point me in the direction of a style that may be suited. Or will I know when I finally look upon the ring?" Carson's eyes pleaded to Anna. If he was to go out and get one, he knew he would find one that was fitting for the basics, but he wanted it to be special like Mrs Hughes was.
Anna gave Carson a reassuring smile. "You know that you don't have to get an engagement ring? Most men just propose marriage without it. Mrs Hughes would not care about what the band looked like, Mr Carson. I know that she loves you very much, and just being your wife would be fitting enough for her. The thing is, there are many different ones, and I think that they need to be personal to you. If you choose the ring for her then she will know that the ring came from your heart. I can come with you if you like? To advise I mean? But you have to choose the right one."
"I see what you are saying," Carson sighed. "I just don't want to pick the wrong one. The last thing I would want is for her to not like it." Carson scrunched up his face as he began to think. "I know that engagement rings aren't always done, and just the proposition of marriage is enough. But, I like the sentiment behind it and would like to give her something. It's like a gift and a proposal in one."
"Yes, yes," Anna said. "It's a nice gesture. We both know her well enough to know that she doesn't expect extravagance-"
"Although she deserves it," Carson interrupted.
"Yes of course. I just meant that she would be happy with the surprise and knowing that you have taken the time to select it for her. I think that once you see the ring you'll likely feel it in your stomach. You know Mrs Hughes and her tastes." Anna smiled.
"Right, yes," Carson said as he mulled some more. "I may take you up on the offer of some assistance if the time can be spared." Carson stood himself up. "Thank you, for your time, Anna."
"You're welcome, Mr Carson," Anna said, standing to her feet. "I'm glad that you have both found each other at last, Mr Carson." Then she gave him a reassuring smile and left the room to continue with her day.
Carson leant back into this chair and sighed. Intrigued as he had been about such relationship things, he hadn't realised that there was also such things that would cause his brain to ache. At least he had her, and that was the main thing, the rest would fall into place.
Robert sat at his desk with his pen in his hand, thinking about the best way to continue his correspondence without coming across as too arrogant. The problem with the written word, although convenient as you wouldn't have to see the person's face, was that it was difficult to convey the correct tone. It was easy to misconstrue words and ideas if they were not put across in the correct manner. The telephone, although annoying when he could hear it blaring in the distance, often reduced the need to write. This instance was one where he would rather use words.
Behind him, he could hear footsteps as he finalised his writings, and he pricked up his ears as he tried to figure out who it was. Sat by his leg, with her head resting against his foot was Isis who had also decided to pick herself up. The wagging of her tail as it hit on the carpet narrowed it down to around three people. The ferocity of the thumping and the way she suddenly sat up reduced it to two. There weren't many that Isis adored, and although she liked the attention when it was given from anyone, she enjoyed the company and attention from a certain handful of people.
The footsteps got closer, and Isis got to her feet to move over to whoever it was that was now within an arms reach. That said arm then snaked over his shoulder and across his chest and he smiled. The two he had narrowed it down to was correct. Cora was most certainly one of Isis' favourite people, apart from him as her absolute favourite. "Darling," Robert cooed as he folded the piece of paper and placed it in the envelope.
"You've been writing away all morning so I decided to come and check on you," she said, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek as she brought her other arm around his chest and rested her chin on his head. "I was coming to say that you should have a break. I fancied a walk and wondered if you'd like to come?"
Robert sealed the envelope before placing it on the stack ready to be posted. Then he leant down to kiss her hand before taking out another piece of paper. "I have just a few more letters to write and I'd like to get them done and out of the way. I've been a bit lax of late when it's come to correspondence. You could see if Mary or Edith want to join you?"
Cora stood herself fully upright and placed her hands on his shoulders, moving them backwards and forwards as if to ease his muscles. "I just don't want you working too hard."
"My darling," he said, leaning his neck backwards so he could look up at her. "Once I have finished all this, I am all yours."
Cora smiled and leant down to kiss him now that his face was exposed to her. "Wonderful. I can go and do something to keep myself occupied until then."
"I was thinking," Robert said cheerily, taking hold of her hand with the one that wasn't holding the pen. "I think we should have a full family dinner this evening. You know, get everybody around the table. We have been a bit sparse of late, and with everything that has been going on it hasn't been the same. What do you think?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea," Cora agreed, squeezing his hand. "Shall I phone Mama and Cousin Isobel?"
"Yes, give them a ring and let everyone else know. I know we have technically been having dinner of sorts, but I want to make it a special one. Whilst I'm doing this if you could let Mrs Patmore know? I'm sure she would love to stretch herself out in a culinary way, we've been pretty boring and I'm sure some things need using." Robert turned his attention back to the letter he was replying to and began to write. "I do fancy Salmon mousse."
"You always fancy Salmon mousse," she chided, squeezing his shoulder.
Robert chuckled to himself. "Yes, you're right about that." When her hands left his shoulders he turned his head to try and catch her eye. "Before you go."
"Hmm?" Cora mumbled, looking down at him as he strained his neck to peer at her.
"Don't I get a kiss?" Robert smirked and let go of the pen.
"I don't want to spoil you," Cora giggled, moving so she was stood behind him directly. "But I suppose on this occasion." Then she leant down and let her lips encase his, sighing gently as she did, and letting her hands move to the side of his face.
Robert pulled himself away and smirked. "But I like it when you spoil me!"
Cora giggled. "I know you do, and I like obliging really." She leant down and gave him a quick peck on the lips and let go of him with her hands. "Now, finish those letters and maybe I'll indulge in you on our little walk."
Robert chuckled. "If I could write at the speed of light that is most certainly what I would be doing right now."
The rolling green of the Yorkshire hills, the pinnacle of the estate, aside from the house itself, went off into the distance like small emerald jewels. They touched the murky blue horizon, folding and seeking the distance like travellers searching for the end. The end was a good few miles away, and Mary watched out of the window as she tried to seek the final object that her eyes were able to focus on. All she could see were hills and trees, like fingers reaching up to the sun that was drawing itself in for the evening. In her hand, she was holding onto the notebook that she had started filling with her memories of Matthew. When she had started, she thought that it might bring about sadness and disturb the grief from where it had seemed to have settled. However, she had found herself chuckling and smiling at the various things that they had done together, that they had experienced in such a short time that they were able to It had reminded her of how Matthew had seen Downton, and she had gone to the window to see it as if she was looking behind his eyes. There was a lot that he had wanted to achieve, so much he had wanted to do and it was important for her to finally help that come into fruition. That's what he would have wanted, and that's what he would have planned.
Something moved in the corner of her eye, and she could see a car rolling to the front of the building. It must be Granny, she said that she was going to come early before dinner. It wasn't like her really, because she often liked to leave things until the last minute so she could make her entrance to impatient eyes. Earlier in the day, her Papa had proudly said that he was going to ensure that the family could all sit down for a meal together for the first time in what felt like an age. Mary wasn't overly bothered, but at the same time, she knew it was to round off the horror that the past days must have been for them. It almost started with her abruptly leaving a table full of people, and so, it would be like a healing of the home, all of her Papa's dear ones sitting down to dinner. Not only that, but Carson would be back into the swing of things after a few days of being back in the job. Papa had probably put it off, wanting Carson to feel like he was back into the swing of things by being there for their first meal as a whole. Well, almost as a whole.
When the car stopped Mary watched as Carson stepped forward and opened the door, helping the Dowager out. From a distance, Mary could see both of their faces light up as if conforming to normality was a blessing to them both. In a way, it probably was. Carson would have been itching to start work again, and her Granny had likely missed the propriety that the caring man below had to offer. It did warm Mary's heart as she watched the two of them talk to one another with her Granny even patting Carson on the arm. It was good to see him back doing what he loved. It was good to feel anything that wasn't bathed in agony.
Mary kept watching as they both moved back towards the doors, and she caught Carson's eyes move up to where she was stood. That man never missed a trick, and she could see the corners of his mouth move so that he could acknowledge she was there, but also give her any reassurance she may need. At that moment, for the first time in a while, she didn't feel she needed much reassurance. Mary smiled a genuine smile and nodded her head before leaving the window and making her way back into the house, her fingers gripping the book tightly. There was still so much more left to write, and she felt like she could spend her days writing and writing about anything and everything that she could remember.
"If people looked at the world as if they were looking through your eyes, they would see the sun in the darkest of days. They would see an abundance of positives in a world filled with so few. We should all try and be like you in one way or another, because then we would live in a better place."
Mary looked at one of the clocks as she walked down the hallway, and thought that it was about time that she got herself ready. Anna would likely be itching to show her the dress that she had picked out, finally feeling that even her role was moving back to normal. And deep down, Mary thought that it would be nice to dress up as it had been such a long time since she had felt like she had wanted to.
"You always had the strangest appreciation for the simple things, especially food. I know that you on occasion would sneak downstairs and get Mrs Patmore to make you a cheese and pickle sandwich when you were feeling a tad hungry or if you wanted something simple. I know that you would prefer to have a basic meal rather than how we like to take our meals. I wonder if I should try and take a more simple approach in life these days?"
Mary's stomach began to rumble, and it had been the first time she had consciously noticed that she had been hungry in a long time. In previous days and weeks, her appetite had been non-existent. Even now, she could possibly demolish one of the sandwiches that Matthew was partial to and still finish her dinner. Her mind moved to thoughts of what was for dinner and was sure her Mama had said something about Salmon mousse. Mary's stomach grumbled again and she knew she had to go and ring the bell so Anna could come and get her ready. Things were definitely getting better, she could really feel it.
Also, I was reading that back in the day they didn't always give engagement rings when proposing. Who knew?
