Disclaimer: All Gilmore Girls content belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino.

Chapter Forty-Three: Nora Roberts Shit Like That

By late May, summer was blooming early and warm and fragrant in Philadelphia. Ella pulled her hair back in a low bun as she padded out onto the terrace. The sun was finally going down, painting the sky a pinkish orange. In the small view of the city past the other apartment buildings, she could see the buildings beginning to light up, tiny and twinkly. Jess was already out there, with a copy of Sharp Objects in hand. He chewed on his eraser, his brows furrowed as he concentrated on the words. There were already chunks of Ella's messy cursive decorating the pages, and she'd insisted he read it as soon as she finished it the week before. He was already three quarters of the way through.

"This book is fucking crazy, Stevens," he said as she walked out, not looking up from the text.

"Yeah, cutie. That's why I like it," she told him, smiling widely and leaning against the railing next to him.

"So unpredictable," he deadpanned.

"Whatever, James Dean," she replied, rolling her eyes and snorting a laugh.

Smirking, he finally shut the book and tossed it back onto one of the mismatched armchairs. Following her gaze, he saw the flaming orangey sun descending behind the cityscape. With the evening light reflected against her freckled face, he could see the green flecks in her eyes when he turned to look at her.

At first, she had not wanted to go to the graduation ceremony at all. She certainly wasn't walking across the stage in a gown. But, she decided to go for the undergrads she had been the teacher assistant for. They clapped in the auditorium, and went out with Chris, Leo, Matthew, and Mabel to try the new Italian restaurant, which ended up being decent. It wasn't entirely unceremonious, but there wasn't much fanfare. Jess didn't expect Ella to want anything more. She'd ended up finishing her finals a week before the actual ceremony, anyway.

But, still, she was finally done. Chris had even ordered a cake for the table in celebration, despite Ella's blushy protests. She doubted it would sink in for a while. She was a perpetual student, and was already beginning to feel anxious without steady classwork and homework. But she would start teaching her summer classes in a week or two, and she was planning to fill her time with art and helping out at Truncheon until then.

For the moment, though, she watched the sunset. She felt the night begin to cool down, breezes blowing past her. And Jess could practically feel her relax. Since deciding to take the job at Penn, she'd seemed calmer. He hadn't realized just how heavily it had been weighing on her until after it was over. She was using vibrant color in her paintings again, which he hadn't seen in what felt like years. She was coming around to Truncheon after her classes, spending nights with their friends up in the apartment. She was playing music with Leo and running lines with Mabel.

Of course, she still had days when she felt so hopeless about the state of her life, and honestly, the world, that she couldn't even explain her sadness. But she was working on it. She was trying. It made Jess so proud he almost couldn't handle it. Watching her, so comfortable in her own skin, made a tiny smirk form on his lips.

As though she could feel his gaze, she suddenly faced him again. "What?"

"Nothing," he said lightly. "Just looking at you."

"At me?" she mocked him with dramatic batting of her eyelashes and a breathy voice.

"What can I say? You're irresistible," he quipped with a shrug.

She rolled her eyes, trying to brush off the flush rising to her cheeks. "You have to stop saying Nora Roberts shit like that to me."

"Never," he shot back smugly.

"Jackass."

"Nihilist," he said, then pressed a kiss to her rosy cheek. "A nihilist with a master's degree."

"Yeah, it seems that way," she said, her words a sigh.

"Hey, Stevens," he began, tilting his head at her a little.

"Yes, Mariano?" she echoed, teasing.

"I'm really proud of you," he said sincerely.

She bit at the inside of her cheek and smoothed her hands over her simple olive green dress, fidgety and blushing once more. "Thank you. I'm proud of me, too."

Jess's smile widened but he felt his heartbeat picking up, stomach churning with anxiety. He felt so wholly content standing next to her, so completely enveloped by love. Dimples and Bette Davis eyes and a loud laugh. So stubborn and passionate and understanding. She was the end and the beginning of everything for him, and he almost felt out of breath at the thought of what was going to happen next. He cleared his throat and ran a hand over his mouth anxiously.

"You okay?" she asked, noticing his uneasiness.

He nodded. "Yeah, Elle...yeah."

Sighing, Jess decided to bite the bullet, rip off the bandaid. His hands were shaky with excitement. He went over to the suit jacket draped over the armchair behind him. Reaching into his inside pocket, he grabbed the small velvet box. Ella looked on in confusion, as he turned back around and landed on one knee.

A thick shadow of realization crossed her face and her mouth fell slightly agape. "No way."

"Look, I know you don't like the big romantic stuff. And please stop me if this all too much of a patriarchal mating ritual for you. But I love you and you love me and we love each other," he began, looking up at her. He had told himself not to cry, but he was already starting to. With the sunset behind her, Ella looked ethereal and beautiful. "And we're supposed to be together."

She rolled her eyes though they were growing tearful, letting out a scoff as he repeated back his own words from years earlier. The night he had tried to get her to come with him to New York flashed across her mind, but her heart didn't twist in pain at the memory. Instead, it fluttered pleasantly.

"You Hemingway motherfucker," she whispered through a watery laugh, though she blinked away the tears.

He chuckled breathily, face hot with scarlet color. "I'll take that one as a compliment. But...I think we should get married. What about you?"

A small giggle escaped her lips before she could help it and she just couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she spoke. "Y'know, most of the time, I don't really see the point in getting married."

Jess's face fell for only a second.

"But that's most of the time," she said. "Not when I'm with you, James Dean."

After a moment of shock on his face, he scoffed and gave a dramatic groan. "Fuck off, Daria."

Ella shrugged. "Just thought I should give you a taste of your own medicine," she told him, smile turning to a smirk. "But, if you still wanna marry me after that one, then I'd love to."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied. "Really."

Rising quickly, he enveloped her in a tight hug and kissed her. His lips were gentle and sweet, and almost reminded her of their first kiss so many years ago. Then again, each time he kissed her was pretty much as good as, if not better than, the first time. And, to her surprise, she felt no fear. Something clicked inside her, and she was completely certain. When she pulled away to look at him, she wiped at the stray tears which had fallen on his cheeks.

"I can't believe you got down on one knee and everything," she said.

He shrugged humbly. "I try."

"That you do."

He looked away from her intense gaze shyly and took a step back, holding the open ring box out to her. "Do you want this ring, by the way?"

"Ah yes! I almost forgot!" she said emphatically. As he had spoken, knelt down, she hadn't been able to tear her eyes away from his own. Brown and sparkling and kind.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she saw the tiny stone. A polished light purple amethyst shone in the center, and she took it out and slipped the thin gold band over her left ring finger, staring at it. It fit perfectly, and Jess almost couldn't believe it. After having found it in a tray in the antique store, he'd thought at least some resizing would be necessary.

"I know it's not huge or anything, but-"

"It's perfect, Mariano. I mean, it's fucking lavendar," she said, flabbergasted.

Jess smirked a tiny smirk. "Yeah, well, lavender is for luck."

. . .

Sat at the island with a paper open in front of him, Jess munched on his cereal. He couldn't help the smile which was constantly tugging at the corners of his mouth. They were getting married. In all honesty, he hadn't been entirely sure she would say yes, given her aversion to most things traditional and romantic. Then again, she had certainly seemed to come around to his idealist ways as of late, at least a little bit. And he'd wanted to do it the way it was usually done, on one knee with a ring box open in his hand. He didn't know exactly what had possessed him to do so, but he was glad. She deserved something normal, something just the right amount of sweet.

Padding on bare feet, Ella waltzed towards the kitchen wearing nothing but one of Jess's t-shirts, body and mind light from the night before. The early sunshine of the morning bathed the apartment in a sparkling golden glow, made more beautiful by their own joy, it seemed. On her finger, she wore the ring, still new and foreign. But she felt her heart speed up a bit every time she looked down at it. She, too, had been surprised at the way he'd proposed. But, somehow, it managed to feel perfect. It wasn't over-the-top, but it felt like Jess. Earnest and charming.

He didn't hear her, too engrossed in his reading, until she pressed a kiss to the top of his head on her way by. He winked at her when they made eye contact, and she rolled her eyes playfully in response as she put on some tea and coffee.

"Hey, Jess?" she asked, leaning over the counter across from him, mimicking their days at Luke's Diner.

"Hm?" he said, looking up from the news with eyebrows raised.

"Do you wanna get married?" She bit at the inside of her cheek, slightly anxious.

"Well, considering I just proposed to you yesterday, I'd say yeah, I wanna get married," he replied, teasing and slightly confused.

"No. I meant today," she continued.

He chuckled a bit, but then saw she was serious. "Today?"

A smile blossomed on her face and she shrugged. "Yeah. Why not? Let's just go down to the courthouse. We could call up Chris and everyone, to see if they wanna be our witnesses. "

He gave a surprised scoff, raising his eyebrows. "Pretty spontaneous of you."

She shrugged, a small smirk on her lips. "I learned from the best. I mean, do you really wanna spend all that money? I don't really care about having a wedding. The whole tradition seems pretty antiquated to me, anyway."

"Agreed," Jess replied, nodding. "Except, what about Luke and Lorelai? And Lane?"

"I mean, we've all been to weddings. They're pretty much the same every time. We can send them a card or something. I just wanna do it, Mariano," she said, eyes wide and starry with excitement. "I don't wanna wait. I mean, we've been together, more or less, for like, seven years."

"Minus about four years in the middle there," Jess pointed out, chuckling.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Like you weren't pining for me that whole time, loverboy."

"Hypocrite," he shot back. "You really wanna do this""

"Abso-fucking-lutely," she said, with the most certainty possible. It made Jess so happy he almost wanted to start crying.

"You sure you don't wanna plan it out and everything? I know how much you love planning," Jess said. His heart was racing in his chest at her proposition. But, he was waiting for her to second-guess it, for her feet to turn cold. He didn't want her to doubt her decision later, even if the idea of marrying her immediately made him beyond ecstatic.

"I love you more, though," she said. "But I only want to do it if you want to also. What do you say, James Dean? Is today our wedding day?"

His smile grew, and he was practically beaming. "Yeah. It is."

. . .

After a couple hours waiting on cold, hard wooden benches in the lobby of the courthouse, with Chris snapping as many pictures as possible on his fancy camera (which he bought inexplicably) and Mabel fussing over whether she had done Ella's makeup well enough, the six of them stood in the air conditioning of the courthouse's makeshift chapel. In her hands, Ella held a bouquet of thirteen yellow daffodils Jess had picked up from the supermarket on the way. Her stomach was doing flips, her smile was beginning to hurt her cheeks. Despite the spontaneity of the decision, she was beginning to feel like she had been waiting forever. The period after arriving at the courthouse when Leo had to sweet talk one of his friends from high school, who worked as an administrator at city hall, into giving them a marriage license without the customary 24-hour delay had been agony. But they had pulled it off.

They had all made an effort to look presentable, though Ella could hear her mother's voice in the back of her mind calling them ragamuffins. Jess wore a simple white button-down with black pants, along with his only pair of real leather shoes and a belt to match. Over it, he wore the suit jacket Ella had been so shocked to see him in when she'd first come to Truncheon's open house. No tie, of course. The only white dress Ella owned was covered in a pattern of black flowers, and she found the traditional sentiments about virginity behind white dresses to be troubling, to say the least. Instead, she opted for a plain navy blue dress with spaghetti straps, made from satin. It was the fanciest piece of clothing she owned, bought for a party at Truncheon two months earlier that had ultimately been cancelled due to a phantom March blizzard. If she had known at the time that it was to be her wedding dress, she would have laughed in disbelief.

On her feet were her old black ballet flats. She felt as though not wearing them would violate old time's sake. Her hair was curled and pinned half-back. Her makeup was minimal, with small winged black eyeliner and muted pink lip gloss, a little less than she would have done on herself. But Mabel had practically squealed with delight when Ella asked her to put together the wedding look. Her heart swelled at the sight of Matthew and Chris standing behind Jess, and the thought of Leo and Mabel behind her. After so long feeling out of place, Ella thought she was exactly where she was supposed to be, with the exact right people. If she didn't know any better, she would have called it destiny. But, at the idea, she wanted to roll her eyes at herself. It was Jess's job to pull out the Hemingway bullshit.

Jess. As he stood across from her, she could see the ghost of the boy she'd met at the diner back when she was a frustrated high schooler. Back when he had been an angry kid. She thought of love at first sight, and how silly it was, and how whole-heartedly he believed in it. A jewel of fondness sat warmly in her core, and her eyes shone brightly with affection. Even back then, he had given her some sort of lively joy when her world was flat, filled with monotony, drudgery, grief. He had shown her how life could be, if she stopped holding onto her pain so tightly. And she liked to think she had shown him a thing or two, as well.

He looked so grown up. Still, it often struck her how much he had changed. The stubble on his jaw, the slight crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he smiled his slightly crooked smile, or, of course, smirked. His more respectable haircut and his more mature way of dressing. But there would always be a part of him that was exactly the same as it always had been. The foundation that sometimes cracked but never crumbled. The two of them against the world. She thought, not for the first time, of how wholly she trusted in him, more than she ever had before. He felt safe. She felt like she had known him for all eternity. And she felt so sure of marrying him that it was staggering. She swallowed thickly as the officiant gave his dull spiel about legal commitment, which he probably gave to some hopeful young couple every day. Blinking back the happy tears, willing them not to fall and ruin the makeup Mabel had worked so hard on, Ella did as the officiant said and passed her bouquet to Leo behind her. She and Jess joined hands. For some reason, the gesture seemed a bit cheesy, but she did it anyway, not without a sardonic smirk. He gave her fingers a squeeze of reassurance, winking at her, reading her expression expertly. She almost snorted a laugh, but bit the inside of her cheek to stop it. The officiant asked who would like to say their vows first, and Ella immediately spoke up.

"I will," she said, looking over at the man and then back into Jess's eyes. "You're the writer here and I have no interest in following whatever you're gonna say."

Jess laughed a little, along with the rest of them, and nodded. He took in a deep breath, still shocked at what was happening. For the life of him, he could not remember a time he had ever before felt so content. The small, nagging voice in his mind told him he didn't deserve her. She was perfect, after all. But then, she wasn't, was she? She was stubborn and pessimistic and sometimes stuck in her ways. He loved those things about her, too, even if he sometimes didn't like them. He had loved her the moment he saw her, and still did, even after finding her flaws. And she loved him, even after finding his. The thought made the voice in his head go completely quiet, for the first time in a very long time. The broken pieces of the puzzles which made them up just happened to fit together exactly, and that was all that mattered, he decided. And he wasn't scared. He wasn't nervous about her falling out of love with him. He wasn't worried about her realizing he wasn't enough. Instead, he felt complete. He felt ready.

Ella cleared her throat, biting the inside of her cheek again. Then, after taking a moment to compose herself, she began: "So, here we are, Mariano. I'm really happy we decided to do this today, but that means we didn't have time to plan what to say beforehand. And, like I said, you're the writer here. So, I'm just gonna try my best...like we always do. We try for each other. I promise I'll keep trying forever. Because there's not been one second since I met you that I haven't wanted to be with you. I miss you whenever you're gone, even if you're only gone for a minute. Even when I fucking hate you, I want you with me. Because you are the only person who's ever made me feel like I'm home."

Pausing for a moment, she blinked back her tears again. And she disentangled one of her hands from his, to wipe away the dampness on his cheeks with her thumb. His face reddened with embarrassment, but still, the small smile was ever-present on his lips. She clasped her hand in his once more, and continued.

"I love you, simple as that. I didn't even believe in love when I met you. But then you came and fucked that mindset up royally. You gave me a bed when I was drunk, and you wrote notes in the margins of my books, and you showed me the Hudson River. And a million other things. I have never known a person who is more kind and intelligent and generous and thoughtful. And such a smartass," she added, and everyone laughed.

She shrugged playfully, and squeezed his hands in return. "You're the fucking best. You're it, cutie. I know you know how I feel about that hopeless romantic bullshit you're partial to. And I never thought I'd believe in soulmates. But, today, with you, I do. Because you're mine, James Dean. And I'm yours. You once told me we belonged to each other, and I think that's true. So, why not make it official in the eyes of the law?"

Again, they laughed. But Jess had to choke back more crying at her words. And he had to prepare himself for what he knew was coming. She had always been the better public speaker. He was so nervous he could barely contain himself, despite her beautiful vows. In fact, maybe even because of them. She wasn't the writer, but she'd pretty much nailed it, he thought. For a fleeting moment, he felt sick from the anxiety. What if he fucked it up? But, again, she squeezed his hands.

And he felt more sure of himself as the officiant passed the torch to him. He cleared his throat, sniffed, and met her ardent hazel gaze. At once, he felt like it was just the two of them.

"I may be the writer, Stevens. But in just a minute everyone will see why I didn't go into public speaking," he began. She shook her head a little at him and giggled, urging him to go on. "When I came back to Stars Hollow for my mom's wedding, all I could think about was you. You were everywhere in that town, even when you weren't. I wanted to tell you how much I loved you, and I didn't know how. Granted, the plan I came up with to tell you definitely wasn't the best. But, while I was there, Luke gave me this book to help me...learn about open communication."

She let out another laugh and her cheeks were mirthful roses.

"Hilarious, I know," he deadpanned, and she kept giggling. The sound made his grin widen. "Anyway, I'll spare you the details, even though you've been asking me for them for years. I always wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Pretty much since the minute I saw you, honey. Even if you can't relate to that Hemingway stuff, as you so eloquently put it. But there was one part in the book that made me decide to tell you. The narrator's talking about the divorce of these two middle-aged tragedies named Philip and Judy. The narrator says Philip would have figured out how much he loved Judy if he had asked himself a few questions."

Pausing, he averted her gaze for a moment. "I can't believe Luke isn't here to see me put this shit in my vows. I'm sorry, Eleanor."

She chuckled through the happy tears welling in her eyes. "It's okay, cutie. It's perfect."

He cleared his throat, nodding slightly. Taking his hands out of her grip, he reached into his jacket pocket to pull out an old, folded book page. He opened it, looking down, and began once more. "He should have asked himself the following questions: 'Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? Do you see her face? Who would you most like to have in your life to ward off moments of loneliness? Do you see her face? When you travel, who would make your travels more enjoyable? Do you see her face? When you're in pain, who would you most like to comfort you? Do you see her face? When something wonderful happens in your life, with whom would you first want to share the news? Do you see her face? Whose face appears to you?'"

After the recitation, he folded the piece of paper back up and tucked it inside his jacket.

"Did you keep that this whole time?" she asked, blurting out the question before she could stop herself. She was overwhelmed with affection at the gesture, and for the moment, she could see no one else besides Jess as he stood across from her.

"Yeah, I ripped it out before I gave the book back to Luke," he explained, lowering his voice, conspiratory.

She laughed. "Thief."

He shrugged, unaffected. "Que serĂ¡, serĂ¡."

Stifling another laugh, she nodded and composed herself. "Just checking. Go on."

He retook her hands gently. His joking air disappeared and all at once, he was feeling the full weight of his emotion again. Clearing his throat, he hoped to ward off the shake in his voice. "I saw your face every time, Elle. Every single time. I wanted you to be that for me, and I wanted to be that for you. Because you're beautiful, and you're brilliant, and you're the most unselfish person in the world. And I don't wanna spend one more second not married to you." Then, after taking a deep breath, he finished: "Eleanor Stevens, I have been in love with you since I was seventeen."

A smile so wide it hurt her spread across Ella's face. She shook her head at herself as she began to cry just a little harder. Before she could think to say anything else, she pulled him in to place an affectionate kiss on his lips.

"Hey, we've still got a few paragraphs to get through, kids," the officiant scolded them gruffly, though not unkindly.

Images of a flannel-clad diner owner back in Connecticut appeared in Ella's mind. She caught Jess's gaze, and he seemed to be thinking the same thing. She bit her lip, and then put her head to his shoulder, laughing loudly. His arm wrapped instinctively around her waist. Standing there, leaning on each other, they shook happily with messy giggles.

Author's Note: We've still got the epilogue left, but this is the final regular chapter. Sorry this took so long; endings give me writer's block. Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought! Feedback nourishes my soul. I have absolutely loved writing this story. I hope you liked this chapter! :)

mistycoffee: I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter! And I really hope you enjoyed this ending chapter as well! Thank you so much for the lovely reviews!

brigitm28: Yesss I loved adding in the part about the ring! And, obviously, its conclusion here. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well and liked it as an ending! Thank you so , so much for your wonderful reviews! :)

Serenity'sVision: Lol I'm glad you like this platform better. Thank you so much for the reviews and I hope you liked this chapter as well :)))