A/N
Little short chapter to keep May going LOL.
When work is too worky, you call on friends ...
—
Edward gets to biology before me.
He smells amazing. He looks amazing.
"What did I do?" I ask quietly as I take a seat, keeping my eyes averted, unable to hold it in any longer.
He shifts uncomfortably, but doesn't answer right away. I don't have it in me to push him anymore.
"Nothing," he sighs. "Not a fucking thing."
If anything, that makes me feel worse. The weight doesn't lift, and the number of questions racing through my mind multiply.
So I nod, resigned, crushed.
Fucking exhausted.
Done.
"I thought you liked me," I continue. "For a second, you did a really good job fooling me. I guess now I know how it feels."
In my periphery, I see him look at me, but I can't turn to face him.
I sigh. "Lesson learned."
That's the crux of it, isn't it? I've thrived for so long; being the ultimate tease, giving no one the pay-off they deserve, reeling them in slowly and then dropping them back into the water when they get too close. My whole life has been a game and I was always the winner. I see that now. It's an addiction to validation and it's vindictive. Selfish. Cruel. I felt abandoned and alone, so I allowed myself to bask in the affections and attention of others when I had no intention of returning their feelings.
Until Edward Cullen showed up and burst my impenetrable bubble, beat me at my own game.
It's a painful dose of my own medicine.
And I guess there's nothing I can do now but to own it, feel it, absorb the pain. Get over it.
Because at least now, I feel.
—
A/N
You're all pretty divided on Bella at the minute.
Half of you think she's too desperate and want her to grow up. The other half sympathise and feel for her, knowing how lonely she really is.
Thanks for reading!
