A/N
Last one for today/tonight (it's almost 9pm here).
Thank you for reading!
—
The days pass in a blur.
Edward keeps his distance and I keep mine, resigned, soaking in the pain and absorbing every ounce of it.
Trying to grow stronger, even in my surrounding void.
We don't talk, we don't look at each other, we don't spend time in the same social circles.
He stops attending the usual weekend parties, and I stop questioning his absence, ignoring the hole left in his place, refusing to think about it.
When I do see him, I notice subtle changes -he's thinner, his face gaunt and pale, his stubble thicker, his eyes clouded and unfocused, dark circles etched deeply into the skin beneath his eyes.
He doesn't fight on Fridays any more, part of me thinks that's because he lacks the energy. He looks exhausted. I try not to think about it.
Sometimes, when I look at him, he's watching me. It hurts when he turns away first.
The rumours still circulate. Last week he hung out in Port Angeles with those girls I hate. That hurt too, for a while. The week before that, Connor was bragging in Math, gossiping with Lauren and Jane about Edward and the size of his cock. I try not to listen, I don't want to, but wherever I try to escape to, talk of him follows me. More recently, Edward was seen paying hard cash for hard drugs, hanging out with the local dealer, Laurent.
None of it is my business. I guess it never was.
My curtains stay closed. My light never turns on.
He's no longer possessive. He no longer looks my way in passing. He doesn't need to. The damage has been done.
Distance and darkness are my solitude -they're all I have. They're all I've ever had and I seek comfort in them now more than ever.
"So ..."
I turn in my seat, eyes widening as Tyler sits at the table with me. "You got a date for the Snow Ball?" he asks.
I want to laugh. A date? It's been a long time since anyone remotely male approached me. Since that night Edward beat Tyler, to be exact.
I shake my head and look back down at the book I'm reading.
Tyler hasn't spoken to me since that night either.
I can't blame him for that.
I've shrugged it off, accepting the fact had Edward won -he got what he wanted. Congratu-fucking-lations, Cullen. Everyone is too scared to come near me. Well done. Bravo. Slow clap.
Numb.
I don't feel much anymore.
My feelings are quickly giving way to ... the nothing of before. The realisation no longer hurts. Emptiness.
I was fine before. I aim to get back there.
My anger surges and calms sometimes, depending on the day -on the hour- counteracted by the sheer nothingness I feel in its place. I'm a sore loser, I guess.
"You wanna' go with me?" he asks, taking me by surprise.
"What?" Dumbfounded, I stare at him, wondering if, perhaps, he's sustained another head injury.
"Ahh, come on, Swan. I'm not that bad."
Shaking my head quickly, I try to correct myself. "No, it's not that. It's just ..." I sigh, feeling overwhelmed. I don't know what I've done to deserve his kindness. "Why would you want to go with me?"
He scoffs, nudging my shoulder with his. "You're Bella Swan. Everyone wants to ask you."
"Yeah, no. They definitely don't. Not any more."
He ignores me, carrying on. "Look, the way I see it, you can mope around feeling sorry for yourself, terrified to do anything that might anger Cullen ... or, you can do the opposite. You deserve better than him, you know." His smile is wide and mischievous. I can't help but return it. "I'm game if you are?"
I don't even need to think about it. "I'd love to go with you. Thank you." It's the happiest I've felt in a while. A small reprieve from the constant cloud of apprehension that hangs over me. The smile on my face feels foreign.
Feelings start to thaw my cold bones. slowly.
Nodding, he taps the table once and stands. "Good." With a wink and a friendly smile, he leaves and I watch him go, biting into my bottom lip, smiling genuinely for the first time in ... a while.
The library is quiet during lunch, it's been my solitude, but as I watch Tyler walk away, I start to feel more like myself, tiny little pieces of my being clicking back into place with every step he takes.
I owe him a lot for that.
—-
A/N
Oop!
Tyler to the rescue!
