"So, hair growth treatment!" The Doctor spun around, hopping around the sickbay like a spring. "Oh, I've been waiting to use this!" He reached into one of the cabinets, pulling out a jar of purple gel.
The Doctor hurried over to the chair that El was sitting in and sat the jar down on a nearby table. Unscrewing the top, the Doctor launched into another fit of ramblings, as he put on some latex gloves.
"I picked this up on Akhaten all the way back during my first life!" He explained, scooping out a little bit of the goop.
Sarah Jane, who was observing just in case, looked at the substance warily. "Are you sure you shouldn't just take her to a salon in the fifty-first century? That's where we got my hair rejuvenated after the natives on Poosh burned it off."
"That place?" The Doctor replied. "It didn't come back in the right way, those people were hacks, hacks I tell you! Whereas I," He pressed his hand to his chest, "Am a trained professional."
"Really?" Sarah Jane sarcastically asked, looking at the Doctor's shirt.
The Time Lord looked down... at the big splotch of purple gel now on his shirt. "Ah." He went back to get some more. "Well, I needed a bit of hair on the chest anyhow. Now," He went back for more, "Hold still." He told El, rubbing the gel into her hair, over every little bit of hair on her head.
The girl scowled, squirming slightly at just how cold the gel was as the Doctor rubbed it into her scalp. After a few moments however, the Doctor removed his hands, and pulled the gloves off, tossing them into the bin.
"There." The Time Lord said satisfactorily, positioning a mirror in front of El. "Now, watch."
El gasped as the hair on her head began to grow rapidly, the gel disappearing altogether, as her hair lengthened. El watched as the thin inch of hair became thicker, falling just over her ears, before stopping, into a thick mop of brown hair.
"Hm…" The Doctor frowned. "That label said it was good for inducing a full year's worth. That's what I get for buying something at space Vegas."
Sarah Jane looked to the Doctor demandingly. "I thought you said you picked it up on Akhaten."
"Akhaten, space Vegas, same difference." The Doctor waved away. "Now, El, what do you think?"
The girl looked into the mirror, before reaching her hand up to her hair. It felt soft, lush, nice to run her fingers through even a short as it was. Still, she couldn't ever remember having hair that long.
El smiled. "Pretty."
The Doctor smiled. "Yes, you are." He suddenly sniffed her hair, grimacing. "You probably want to wash it, though. That gel has one helluva stench."
El nodded, getting to her feet, wrapping her arms around the Doctor. "Thanks, dad."
The Time Lord smiled. "Don't mention it. Now, come on, bath time."
El nodded, allowing the Doctor to lead her.
Sarah Jane tilted her head, looking the Doctor up and down. "You take baths with her?"
"She has a phobia of the water, doesn't like being left on her own." The Doctor explained. "Besides, the bathtub's the size of the swimming pool and I keep clothed and turn my head… and I wouldn't have to keep doing it if someone hadn't tried to eat the shampoo!"
El huffed, crossing her arms. "Smells like strawberries. …You ate the soap."
"It was minty!" The Doctor insisted.
Sarah Jane looked between the both of them, laughing. "I'm going to have to childproof this place for the both of you, aren't I?"
"Ha, ha." The Doctor sarcastically responded. "And for the record again, I'm not the one who tried to prove that conditioner was crunchy."
Sarah Jane's face flushed with embarrassment that time.
El ruffled the towel through her hair, as she proceeded through the corridor back to her room. The long hair was going to be something to get used to. But she could manage.
The door to her room slid open, and El abruptly stopped.
Her surprise quickly morphed into joy.
"Jane!" El beamed, dropping the towel, running over to her future self.
"Ack!" Jane coughed upon impact. She looked down and smiled slightly as well. "Hey, kid."
El tilted her head, as she pulled back. "What's wrong?"
"What makes you think something's wrong?" Jane asked in response.
"Hello," El threw out her arms, "It's me."
Jane laughed slightly. "Right, yeah. I forgot."
"You forgot?" El questioned.
"Hey, it's not my fault, you were obviously not paying enough attention." Jane retorted. "…Living through all this the second time around is just as much of a surprise for me as it is you."
El looked Jane up and down, frowning in confusion. "How are you here?"
"What, you're not happy to see me?" Jane asked in response.
El rolled her eyes. "Last time it was because the TARDIS broke, before that it was in the store. How are you here."
Jane sighed, and held up her left arm, tapping the leather strap fixed around her wrist. "Vortex manipulator. Cheap and nasty time travel."
El examined the wrist strap curiously, before looking back to her future self. "Where'd you get it?"
"It's not technically mine." Jane admitted.
El frowned. "It's not yours and you took it… stealing. Dad said stealing was bad."
"I don't care!" Jane suddenly snapped, El recoiling in shock. The woman sighed apologetically. "I'm sorry, kid. It's just… we're going through some things right now."
"Who are?" El asked.
"Probably shouldn't say, because spoilers..." Jane stated. "But my boyfriend and I."
El cocked her head. "What's boyfriend?"
Jane inhaled sharply, flopping onto the bed. "Right now, the scourge of my existence. Augh!" She groaned. "Why couldn't I have just been born homosexual!?"
El blinked, not really understanding what was going on.
Jane sighed. "Okay, spoilers, so I'm going to try to cut this down as best I can. Dad did a clever thing, when he did, Will came aboard the TARDIS with us."
"Will came abord the TARDIS? But dad said Will was a dream." El recalled incorrectly.
"No, his exact words were 'I don't know.'" Jane informed. She looked to her younger self seriously. "Will wasn't a dream. He was real, very, very real."
El took a breath. "What?"
"The Dream Lord built the entire Hawkins dream around the idea of it being a normal life." Jane explained, tapping her leg up and down. "That meant house, marriage, kids… The Dream Lord drew on our minds. Will was the first boy our age that we'd seen at the time, ergo… he got pulled in for the ride as well. In another world, maybe it would've been someone else… but he was the first one he saw, so he was the one who got dragged in."
"So, Will's real?" El hopefully questioned. "We can go find him!"
"Not today." Jane replied. "But one day. Anyway, things happened, weird things, shenanigans, and we ended up back on Earth, and…" She let out a regretful sigh. "We got into a fight."
El tilted her head curiously.
Jane sighed. "Every couple goes through rough patches. Besides, he'd been hanging around Uncle Jack for a while at that point, so I'd be more surprised if Will wasn't questioning his sexuality."
"Uncle Jack…" El furrowed her eyebrows, recalling. "The man in the long coat at the store."
"Yep." Jane confirmed. "Stole this off of him while he was sleeping… actually, I snapped his neck, but don't worry, he's fine."
"Fine?" El questioned.
"Yeah, Uncle Jack's impossible to kill." Jane waved away. "Worst case-scenario, he's going break into my snack stash. Which he does anyway."
El's eyebrows knit together. "Why'd you come here, though?"
"Best thing for big fights like this is for both parties to cool down. I'm giving Will space to cool down and giving myself enough space from him to cool down. So, that's why I'm here. Now," She turned to face her younger self properly, "I didn't come here just to talk about boys. We'd fail the Bechdel test so fast it'd not even be funny." Jane looked to her younger self expectantly. "What do you want to do?"
"Me?" El repeated.
"Yep." Jane confirmed. "As of right now, all talk about boys is barred. We're just going to faff about now."
"Hm…" El frowned in thought, playing with her hair.
"Oh, that's it!" Jane got an idea. "You just got your hair lengthened, but you know what you haven't gotten it?"
El tilted her head.
"Done!" Jane grabbed her younger self's hand, taking the lead out into the corridor.
"Wait, what about dad and Aunt Sarah?" El questioned.
Jane waved the concern away. "Mama won't let 'em run into us." She checked the readout on the vortex manipulator. "Besides, I picked this time because dad's dropping her back on Earth for the weekend."
El frowned. "Why's she going back?"
"If you were Sarah Jane Smith, and had to spend an extended period of time in our company, you'd understand."
"Oh, wow…" Jane commented as she played around with El's hair in the TARDIS salon. "I forgot just how short my hair used to be."
"…I like it." El said.
"I didn't say it was bad." Jane replied. "No, you look great. Not Eleven anymore."
"Exactly." El agreed.
"Now… I don't want to go too wild, just making it look nice." Jane said, "River taught me how to do this."
El looked to her future self curiously. "You taught River how to fly the TARDIS, but she had to teach you hair?"
"I didn't teach River how to fly the TARDIS. We did." Jane corrected, brushing her younger self's hair back. "Now, dad should have some hair gel around here…" The woman looked around, popping the top off the can. "Dad doesn't really use this anymore, but the TARDIS keeps it stocked just in case."
El frowned at the substance, looking back up. "Hair's fine."
"It's fine, yes, but you just got a new do!" Jane replied. "That means you have to reevaluate the whole way you dress!"
"Really?"
"Yes! Come on!"
As Jane pulled El up, the girl wondered what she was getting herself into.
Literally, in this case.
"Look, look, what am I!?" Jane asked, stepping out from the clothing rack wearing an absolutely garish patchwork coat of rainbow patterns.
"Uh…" El blinked. "A clown?"
"No, silly, I'm dad in his sixth face!" Jane replied. "But then again… what's the difference!?"
El started to laugh too, when suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and both versions of her whipped around to the door.
"El!" The Doctor called, "Are you in there."
El looked to Jane, the woman violently gesturing her hands in a crossing motion. "Yes."
Jane almost smacked herself. "Hold on!" She told the Doctor, imitating the inflections of her younger self. "Alright, kid, guess that means I've gotta go."
"But-"
"Don't trust makeup tutorials on the internet, eat three balanced meals a day, and for God's sake, stay off Twitter!" She ordered, before hitting the button, vanishing in a puff of smoke.
The Doctor came in a moment later, looking around. "Blimey, this is one hell of a mess…" He commented, looking around at the discarded articles of clothing. He then looked to El. "Did you do something with your hair?"
El glanced up at the neatly styled mop of hair on her head. "…Yes?"
"Nice." The Doctor complimented. "Now, come on, come on, come on!" He hurriedly waved her along, leading her back to the console room.
"What?" El asked.
"Sarah Jane said she needed a day to decompress from me, whatever that meant," The Doctor explained, "So that means we can go wherever we want without her being a spoilsport!"
El blinked. The Doctor being that giddy could not end well.
