Gallant Deacon (18) D2M

I saw my parents smiling at me before I had the time to step off the train. For a second, it was enough to make me long for their love and care, the thing they had bestowed on me so rarely when I was at home. The thing I learned not to expect, which I hadn't come to terms with until I had moved out. Dad moved to hug me, pretending not to notice when I flinched away from the movement, and I shook my head. I wasn't letting them back into my life. I had slept on the floor of the Academy for years, curled up on whatever mats had been laying around. I had hidden from them under their own noses, and once I was a Victor, they were ready to love me. They were ready to pretend the scar across my face was there because of the Games, not because of them, and I wasn't about to fall for their nonsense again.

Shannon and Connor looked up at me, my greatest shame from my District life. They were the two left behind, the two that wouldn't have the courage to leave Mom and Dad. I was the one that was going to fix that. I leaned in for a hug with Shannon then Connor, knowing Connor wouldn't be ready to do something unless he thought it was okay. His demeanor matched mine before I got the idea to leave, and I would have a lot of work to do unprogramming him.

Once I was done with my loving, delightful reunion, I got to face the District. They cheered for me, happy to have another Victor, even if they had seen him cry when he considered his final kill. I assumed the Capitol had managed to cut that part of the Games, putting on a commercial to hide what I had done. Or maybe, just maybe, the District really was ready to accept me for who I was. Whatever the case was, it didn't matter. One way or another, I wasn't being jeered at, and I was more than ready for one peaceful reaction where I didn't see any dead eyes, even though I should have. One set of parents must have been missing from the crowd, one friend group trying too hard to smile at me.

After we ate a glorious feast and presents rained from the sky, an experience that I knew to expect from when Totsuki had won, I walked to my parents' house. They deserved to talk with me, but that wasn't a good thing. It was the punishment they finally deserved.

"I want to take care of Shannon and Connor," I said, making sure to stand over my parents, looming as well as a Games-hardened Victor could. Their delight at my returning home faded as quickly as it had arrived, and they looked between each other uncertainly, not knowing how they could respond to that.

"They're not your children. You're not ready to parent two fourteen-year-olds. You could hardly take care of yourself," my mom replied. "You had a complete meltdown over a paper cut, for Ginger's sake!"

"No. I left home after you attacked me with a plate. I left home after you abused me for years. You're in no position to take care of children, and you're in no position to negotiate. Don't pretend you have more pull than I do with the government. I'm the child of a Victor who won't be letting his parents live with him in the Village. You're two citizens who have had one child run away already." I wasn't ready to let mom convince me to back down. I wasn't ready to leave my siblings behind in the environment that had led to this mess. I was making things right even if it tore my family apart, because Mom and Dad weren't worth keeping together.

Shannon came to me without packing up. Connor took a while to convince, his scars clear whenever Dad tried to convince him to stay, while Mom pleaded with him not to leave her behind. To rot, as she put it. To not have anyone else to destroy was more accurate. As soon as Connor was ready to leave, I left my mother and my father behind forever, moving into a new house, into a world of riches, instead of cleaning the Academy in exchange for a roof over my head.


Shannon left the Academy as soon as she came home with me. As ready as I was to watch her grow into the fine young woman she deserved to be, most of my focus went into Connor. I asked him if he wanted to leave the Academy or stay in it, and he shrugged. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, and his whisper wasn't an actual word, just something he uttered to pretend he had replied to me. He didn't make eye contact, staring at the table whenever I spoke to him, and I knew he needed time, so I didn't push him. I just kept talking to him, kept cooking for him, kept hugging him. I thought about everything I wished Dad had done and did it for my brother, and before I knew it, I was doing it for other children, too.

I had no way of telling how many people in Two were abused, but I knew plenty were emotionally damaged. I saw children walk into the Academy with no happiness in their eyes, and I saw them leave when they obviously didn't want to. I decided to become a Trainer, not needing the money but needing to do what I had to do. I wanted the world for my brother, and it took me no time at all to realize that every other child in the world was worth just as much as him. I talked to the students who didn't want to learn, letting them return home to happily tell their parents they trained with the latest Victor. I pretended that I taught them things about the Arena, when really, I tried to teach them about the importance of self. So many of them saw nothing but what their family wanted, and I made it my goal to undo everything those children had been taught. I couldn't undo everything, but I could fix all I could.

There was no way to make up for what I'd done, and I often found myself regretting volunteering. But every time I thought of the things I had done, I knew I should focus on the good coming out of it. Most of those children would have died anyways. But now, children would get to stop being destroyed whether or not the Games got their paws on them. And sure, my focus on children made me put in the effort to not get killed, stopping me from being able to strike out as much as I would have liked, but it was worth it in the end. Not all battles could be fought, and I picked one that would never be over. It would only ever be a little less bad, but that was all I could do, and all I could do was enough.


All that work for a beautiful ending and now it's time for the big sad. This is going to be my last SYOT, if not forever at least for a while. I intend to stick around in the community, reading and submitting, but I won't be writing. If I ever do decide to come back, I'll let you know :)