Author's Notes:

PAIRINGS: Leorio/Kurapika (Leopika).

RATING: Mature. Sexual content.

SPOILERS? Yes, until chapter 390 of the Hunter x Hunter manga by Yoshihiro Togashi. You may want to click off until you've caught up with the Succession War Arc, or have decided that you don't care. I do attempt to explain the context for the uninitiated.


Chapter 44: Beyond doors and dismantled defenses

Leorio strides down the front walk leading to the street. Midway he halts as the glow of the streetlamp illuminates a familiar buttery hue, somewhere to his right. He finds himself wandering off the path, wanting to examine that incandescent color.

Yes, right here in Kurapika's garden is the same species of yellow flowers that Leorio received this afternoon. He's surrounded once again by the same honeyed scent, the second sweetest fragrance he's ever known. Will Kurapika hate him, Leorio wonders, if he plucks a single bloom to tuck inside his pocket? Leorio has lost all the others, allowed them to slip away from his hands.

No, he shouldn't. Won't it be too callous for Leorio to abandon Kurapika in bed, then go on to steal from his garden?

Leorio commands himself to walk away, but his body remains there, huddled amidst the spectrum of blossoms that Kurapika himself sowed and watered and coaxed from the earth.

Leorio closes his eyes and sighs. "What the hell are you doing?" he grumbles to himself, past gritted teeth. "Where in the world are you even going?"

Wherever Leorio intends to go — whichever direction it may be or diversion it may represent — can it really be more crucial than the place he's leaving behind? That space on Kurapika's bed which almost has his name on it, if he only dared to stake his claim on it?

Earlier tonight, Kurapika said that Leorio could change his mind. If Leorio changed his mind about staying, surely he can change his mind about leaving?

Leorio marches back toward the doorstep. He stands there, chastising himself. "Get a grip, Leorio! Is your pride or your fear really more important than this one thing you've always wanted but still haven't gotten? You know you want Kurapika to be by your side. You've both been through so much — together and apart. Kurapika . . . he's different now. You can see it clearly, can't you? He wants you in his life. He's ready for you this time. You both deserve happiness, so why keep fighting this? You'll be the biggest damn fool if you let him go again!"

Fired up now and desiring nothing except to hold Kurapika as tightly as possible, Leorio seizes the doorknob. But of course, as luck would have it, the door has automatically locked behind him.

What should Leorio do now? Should he sit down and wait? Knock? Ring the bell? Ring Kurapika's phone? Does Kurapika even use the same number in the first place? Leorio may have technically lost Kurapika's contact information when he switched phones a couple of years ago, but he's called this number enough times to permanently engrave every digit in his brain.

Cursing at himself for creating this problem that never needed to happen, Leorio turns away from the door and dials that memorized number. He's only just pressed his phone against his ear when the door bangs open behind him.

Leorio whirls around. There Kurapika is, bare flesh exposed to the night air, brown eyes wide in panic. He startles as he sees Leorio still hovering there, right outside his house.

Kurapika tackles Leorio, knocking the breath from Leorio's lungs, and clings to him on the doorstep. Kurapika's lips are quivering against Leorio's chest, and Leorio's heart squeezes painfully once he realizes that Kurapika is crying.

"Please don't go," Kurapika is mumbling thickly against Leorio's button-down shirt. "Please. I love you. Please."

Seeking to conceal Kurapika's naked body from any strangers on the street, Leorio ushers Kurapika inside the house and shuts the door behind them. Once they're back inside, Leorio makes Kurapika look at him directly.

"Say it again," Leorio demands. "Say it to my face this time. I want to hear it."

Not even attempting to conceal his tears, Kurapika looks Leorio in the eye and says it. "I love you, Leorio. I've loved you for the past seven years, and I'll love you forever."

Leorio grabs Kurapika's face and crushes their lips together. Leorio's heart flutters as Kurapika enthusiastically reciprocates the kiss. Kurapika is tugging on Leorio's clothes, trying to get Leorio to bend a bit lower, closer to his height.

In response, Leorio pushes Kurapika's back against the door and hitches up Kurapika's bare legs to wrap them around his waist. Like this, from a much better vantage point, Kurapika rakes his fingernails over Leorio's dark hair and devours Leorio's lips again and again. Desire is darting down Leorio's spine and pooling in his groin as Kurapika scratches at his nape and sucks on his tongue.

Many minutes pass, then Kurapika's mouth drifts away from Leorio's to press a wet kiss to his cheek. "I love you," Kurapika whispers.

A kiss to the bristly hair on Leorio's jaw. "I love you."

A kiss to the tip of Leorio's nose. "I love you."

Aching to taste Kurapika again, Leorio tries to recapture Kurapika's lips with his own, but Kurapika tilts his head backward in order to throw out that pivotal question. He demands a clear-cut reply from Leorio now. "Do you still love me, Leorio?"

Rather than answering, Leorio carries Kurapika back to bed and lays him down over the sheets. Leorio gets on top of Kurapika and stares intently into his eyes.

After a minute of this, Kurapika furrows his brows and starts speaking fast. "Leorio, come on. I have to know. I'll understand if you don't feel the same way anymore. It's been five years, after all. But if you just give me a chance, I can prove to you that I —"

"You don't have to prove anything to me," Leorio interrupts. "Of course I love you. I'm so in love with you that it terrifies me. The idea of losing you is the single scariest thing I can imagine. Kurapika . . . I realize that you've already made your peace with the consequences of your bad decisions in the past. But I don't know if I —" Leorio screws his eyes shut for a moment, willing himself not to cry. He feels Kurapika stroking his face, and he opens his eyes again. "I don't know if I can ever stop being afraid, or ever stop worrying about you, or ever stop wishing for the impossible. You don't know how many times I've fantasized about turning back time to do everything over with you. But we're here right now. And I'm here. No matter what happens now, I just want to be by your side for as long as possible. This time, I won't let any damn thing get in the way of being with you."

Kurapika continues caressing Leorio's cheek. He senses that Leorio isn't done speaking, so he stays silent, listening.

"Kurapika, I . . . I never stopped loving you, not for one second. I wanted to get over you, believe me. I tried over and over to rewrite the memory of your body with other bodies. I tried tricking my brain into believing that I loved other people, wanted them the same way I always wanted you. But nothing worked. You've ruined me for everyone else, just like I knew you would."

"That sounds a little sad," Kurapika says softly.

Leorio kisses Kurapika on the forehead. "It doesn't have to be sad. I can be the happiest man in the world, as long as you take responsibility."

"Okay, Leorio. I promise to take responsibility. I'll treasure your feelings this time."

Leorio dips down to kiss Kurapika on the mouth again. He can't get over how good Kurapika tastes, and judging by the way that Kurapika rarely ever permits a split-second to pass between kisses, not even to allow himself to breathe, Kurapika obviously feels the same.

How much time goes by? Leorio doesn't know and doesn't care. All he wants to do is make up for the five years that he's been deprived of the inexplicable sweetness of these lips.

Kurapika eventually rolls them over so that he's on top. While Leorio's clothes are already in considerable disarray due to their steamy make-out session, Kurapika strips them all away this time. As Kurapika slides down Leorio's slacks and boxers, he bites his bottom lip when Leorio's stiff penis bobs into view for the second time that night.

Leorio yelps as Kurapika's head suddenly dives between his legs and swallows his entire erection in one swift downward motion. Clouds of pleasure crowd out every other thought in Leorio's head as Kurapika's tongue swirls around his hardness, as Kurapika's fingers gently pinch on the skin of his scrotum.

Leorio's thighs tremble from the effort of holding himself back from fucking Kurapika's heavenly mouth. Leorio is about to grab two giant fistfuls of Kurapika's golden hair, perhaps hold onto them like reins as Kurapika takes him deeply and repeatedly into the tightness of his throat, but just then Kurapika's head jerks upward and releases him.

Kurapika pounces on top of Leorio's hips. Greedy now, he glares down at Leorio's muscular body. "Can't wait anymore. Can't wait for my ass to gobble up your gorgeous cock again."

Kurapika leans forward to fetch another condom. Even as he fumbles with the rubber, he's already sighing with impatience, already twitching his hips to let the head of Leorio's penis grind against his entrance.

"Wait. Wait a sec, Kurapika."

Kurapika's mind is foggy with need, but he forces himself to stop and focus on what Leorio is saying. "What's wrong? You don't want to fuck me, Leorio?"

"Jeez, I can't even conceive of a parallel universe where I won't want to fuck you. But there's something else . . . something I've always wanted to try."

"I'll do anything, try anything for you," Kurapika declares. "Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."

Leorio sits up. He fidgets for a few seconds before he speaks again. "Can you . . . put yours inside me this time?"

Kurapika hesitates, staring at Leorio with an unreadable expression. "Have you ever done that before? Been on the receiving end, I mean."

Leorio's face takes on a pinkish tinge. "No, I haven't. I mean, I've slept with other men, but I was always. . . ." His voice turns resolute. "But if it's with you, I won't mind being on the bottom. No, I want to. I've been dreaming about it, even."

"Dreaming about it, huh?"

"Um. This whole story is kind of hard to explain. Don't laugh, okay?"

Kurapika plants a soft kiss on Leorio's chest, then looks up encouragingly at Leorio's face. "I promise not to laugh."

"I masturbate while thinking about you. A lot. More than I should. Well, you've probably already guessed that. I've got it bad for you, you know that."

Kurapika kisses Leorio's chest again. He can't seem to stop reverently pressing his lips against Leorio's salty skin. "Mm. I can't help but imagine your handsome face too, every time I touch myself."

"Yeah, that's not the part I'm embarrassed about," Leorio says. "I blame the psycho clown for this. Back then, he told me something that's been grinding my gears ever since."

"Psycho clown. . . . Do you mean Hisoka?"

"Why, do you know any other psycho clowns . . .? No, don't answer that. It doesn't matter. The point is, Hisoka heavily implied that you were fucking him in the ass. That always pissed me off. I mean, I may have gotten to fuck you twice now — and each time was incredible, don't get me wrong — but it still bothers me that Hisoka, of all people in the world, got to feel your dick inside him, while I never had the honor."

Kurapika smiles now. "I think I know why Hisoka was tormenting you with stories about bottoming for me. He couldn't resist teasing me when he made a certain juicy discovery, but I wouldn't have guessed that he'd been teasing you too."

"A juicy discovery? What discovery?"

"He found out that I liked to imagine myself thrusting inside you, Leorio."

"Oh." Leorio's blush deepens. "Wow."

"Hisoka already knew that I had this mortifying habit of fantasizing about a very precious, very platonic friend whenever I played with myself, but something about my fantasies of topping you really tickled him. To think that all this time, you've been dreaming about the reverse. . . ."

"Yeah, Hisoka kept telling me to train my ass because you were coming for me too. He was being super gross about it, and I hated him for it, but . . . once he forced that mental image into my brain, I became obsessed with it. Even now, nearly every time I masturbate, I. . . ." By this point, Leorio's face has flushed red until the tips of his ears. "I, um, I like to finger myself. While picturing you on top of me, pounding into me."

In the next second, Kurapika has pinned Leorio down on the bed. Leorio gasps as his back flumps over the mattress.

Kurapika looks greedy again. "Like this? You picture me on top of you like this, Leorio?"

Leorio can only nod.

Kurapika's right hand wanders downward. His middle finger slips between Leorio's buttocks and prods the puckered ring of muscle. "You want to feel my fingers inside you?"

More nodding from Leorio. Eager now. "Your fingers. Then your dick."

Kurapika closes his eyes and takes deep breaths to calm himself. When he opens his eyes again, his expression is mild. "We'll work up to that, slowly. We'll have to be patient, okay? I don't want to hurt you. I want you to feel good enough that you'll ask me for a second round, next time."

"There's no way I won't ask you for a second round. I want to have sex with you every day, Kurapika. Every single day. I'm serious."

Kurapika chuckles. "That can definitely be arranged. If you were looking for a partner who can fuck you and be fucked by you every single day — multiple times per day, even — then you've hit the jackpot with me. Believe me."

Kurapika turns away to open the bedside drawer. This time, Leorio leans in to check out the drawer's contents. Inside, there are several sex toys and boxes upon boxes of condoms.

"Quite the collection you have here," Leorio says conversationally, picking up a silicone paddle.

"Most of these toys are dusty by now. I'll have to wash them thoroughly if you want to play with me next time. This is the only one I use regularly."

Kurapika holds up a dildo. Leorio notes that it's significantly smaller than his own penis, which may explain why Kurapika was so deliciously tight when Leorio entered him earlier.

Cheered by this, Leorio grins and reaches for the dildo. "Man, how many times has this thing been inside your ass? This dildo is what my dick aspires to be. It's living my dream. Can I keep this for myself? I want to hug it while I sleep. . . ."

Kurapika bursts out laughing and yanks the dildo away. He stuffs it back into the drawer, then unearths a bottle of lubricant instead. "This is all we need for tonight. We can get kinky some other time, okay?"

As Kurapika closes the drawer, Leorio scrambles back into position and spreads his legs wide.

Kurapika opens the bottle and squeezes a generous dollop onto his palm. He commences applying the lube to Leorio's ass, squirting another dollop for every new finger he inserts. He sucks the tip of Leorio's cock as he continues preparing him, but Leorio doesn't seem to require this extra stimulation — his asshole stretches pliantly around Kurapika's fingers, evidently well-trained for digital penetration.

Noisy as ever in bed, Leorio has been moaning shamelessly throughout this entire operation. Kurapika hums approvingly around a mouthful of precum.

Kurapika withdraws his lips and smiles. "You have such a wonderfully docile hole, Leorio. I can tell as early as now that it's going to be paradise inside you."

Leorio's hips are wriggling in an attempt to shove Kurapika's fingers even deeper into him. "Kurapika, I want you. I want all of you."

"Give me one more minute. I need to stretch you out a little more."

But Leorio grasps Kurapika's wrist to make him stop. "No. Your cock. Now."

Relenting, Kurapika pulls out his fingers, one by one. As Kurapika straightens up to put on a condom, Leorio's eyes survey the size of Kurapika's fully erect penis. Leorio swallows, audibly.

Kurapika is careful not to apply unnecessary pressure to his boner as he lubes himself up. In truth, his dick has been throbbing in agonizing anticipation of feeling his love yielding to him down there, but he keeps his tone measured as he asks, "Are you ready to take this all in, Leorio? If you're having second thoughts, we can continue this another time, if you want?"

In response, Leorio spreads his legs even wider and yanks Kurapika down over his over body. This, of course, is invitation enough.

Resisting every animalistic urge to slam inside, Kurapika enters Leorio as gradually as humanly possible. He dribbles additional blobs of lube every time Leorio grunts in discomfort or grips Kurapika's shoulders to steel himself.

In this slow and steady manner, their hips snap together with a final push forward, and Kurapika is totally embedded in Leorio's immense warmth. The overwhelmed expression on Leorio's face is so wildly sexy to Kurapika that it takes all his willpower to prevent himself from pistoning his hips like a fiend.

"Big." Leorio's eyes are wide, as if he can't quite believe what he's feeling. "Kurapika, you're so fucking big."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want it any other way. I love my little big boyfriend."

They both freeze as these words hit the air between them.

Leorio whacks his palm against his own face. "Urgh. I was going to ask you later, officially. My big mouth betrayed me."

Kurapika peels off Leorio's hand from his reddening face. "In my opinion, your big mouth has just identified the most effective strategy to gain a positive response to that specific question. Leorio, I can't imagine that anyone would ever say no to you while buried to the hilt inside you. You're phenomenal, and I'm the luckiest man in the world." Tenderly, Kurapika presses Leorio's hand to his lips. "I love you. I love my big, big boyfriend."

Kurapika transfers the hand that he's just kissed to Leorio's cock. "Will you stroke yourself for me? That may help to alleviate any initial soreness."

As Leorio jacks himself off, Kurapika begins to move his hips slowly, continuously gauging Leorio's level of comfort with boundless self-restraint.

Kurapika consistently increases his speed, until at a certain point, Leorio quits the pretense of playing with his own dick and instead gives in to the bliss of being fucked just like this — lovingly, patiently, attentively. Digging his fingers into Kurapika's back, Leorio jerks upward to meet Kurapika's downward movements.

Spurred on by this, Kurapika starts thrusting faster now.

"More," Leorio begs, panting. "More, Kurapika."

Kurapika readjusts his position to deliberately brush against Leorio's prostate. With every push, Kurapika amplifies the pressure until Leorio is whining beneath him.

"You like it there, Leorio? You like it when I hit that spot?"

Leorio nods energetically. He's even drooling a bit.

"Let's see how hard I can hit it, hmm?" With this, Kurapika commences smacking repeatedly against Leorio's sweet spot.

Leorio howls and clenches tightly around Kurapika's cock. His eyes are rolling back, in a delirious condition. "Fuck! Fuck, yes! Fucking me so good, Kurapika!"

Pleased by this praise, Kurapika makes a mission of meticulously utilizing every passage of every page of his mental textbook of techniques, anything to ensure that his lover's body remains in a constant state of frenzy.

Leorio is thoroughly swept up in this feeling, this intensity as the man he loves pries him open, again and again. Kurapika is inside him and all around him at once; his essence staining him with wondrous colors.

Just as Leorio is beginning to believe that this must be it — this must be the peak of how good a person can possibly feel — Kurapika slows down and buries deep inside him. He grinds around the perimeter of Leorio's prostate gland with firm, circular motions.

Leorio's back arches and, without warning, his dick releases a lengthy stream of cum over his own chest. Kurapika continues mashing against Leorio's prostate as he comes, and the ejaculation keeps going past the point that Leorio ever imagined possible.

In the wake of this mind-blowing orgasm, Leorio closes his eyes and lets out a debauched sigh.

"You came a lot for me, didn't you?" Kurapika says, affectionate. "So sweet. The best boyfriend ever."

"Mmph. Want to kiss you, Kurapika."

Kurapika is too short to properly reach Leorio's lips from his current position, so he gently pulls out to crawl forward and give Leorio the kisses he's craving. Embracing Kurapika, Leorio indulges for several long moments in the addictive softness of Kurapika's lips.

Eventually, the hardness poking against Leorio's abdomen jolts him out from his post-orgasmic daze. "Ah! Sorry! You can get back to fucking me now."

"No hurries, Leorio. I said I'd give you everything you want, and that's what I intend to do."

Leorio pauses to consider something. "Kurapika, you haven't had sex in eleven months, right? As for me, I've also gotten tested since the last time. So. . . ."

Leorio eases off Kurapika's condom. Even though Leorio does this as gently as he can, Kurapika groans desperately against Leorio's neck. That's when Leorio realizes how truly close he must be to completion.

"Will you come inside me?" Leorio asks. "That's all I want from you now."

Kurapika's eyes light up in excitement. "Of course. I'd be honored."

Kurapika wastes no time in settling back between Leorio's legs. Leorio inhales sharply as Kurapika plunges inside him again. Kurapika's unprotected cock feels so hot, so solid, so good as it slides in and out of Leorio's ass, and with this impossibly intense friction — skin against skin — Leorio feels his own penis stirring with rekindled interest.

But nothing can compare to the way Leorio feels when he looks down and sees the way he's making Kurapika feel.

With his eyes shut, Kurapika is gripping Leorio's waist for purchase as he fucks into him again and again, babbling nothing except yes, yes, yes. Captivated by the sight of the usually composed and eloquent Kurapika coming unraveled for him, Leorio wraps his calves around Kurapika's back to draw him in even deeper.

Kurapika opens his eyes and speaks to Leorio now, punctuating his words and phrases with forceful thrusts. "Mine. Every part of you. All mine. You can't get away. I won't let go."

Leorio's expression softens. "That's right, Kurapika. I'm all yours."

For so long — since he was seventeen, really — Kurapika has denied these feelings for Leorio. He believed himself unworthy of ever deserving someone as pure as his beloved friend. All that helpless love he felt, all that burning desire for Leorio's skin and voice and warmth and smile — he drowned it all out in a constant refrain of guilt and shame.

But with every thrust, Kurapika is dismantling more of these defenses. All those years of building walls to hide behind, they mean nothing in the face of something this inevitable.

Kurapika rests his hand over Leorio's heart. He feels it pounding for him and only him. Yes, Kurapika can complete his home with this. He can claim Leorio for himself. He can claim this life of happiness and love. He deserves this — he's certain of it now. He's good enough.

The pressure is building to a crescendo, the pleasure approaching in waves that rise to ever newer heights. Kurapika's movements are becoming uneven, his pace more and more out of sync. Any time now.

"Nghh. Leorio. Love. I'm coming. Fuck. Gonna come."

Just as Kurapika rams downward again, Leorio propels his hips upward to meet him. This rocking impact, as Kurapika bottoms out inside Leorio, finally drives Kurapika over the edge. Kurapika throws back his head and screams as his climax hits. He gushes freely — ceaselessly, it seems — inside Leorio.

Leorio clutches the sheets and groans as Kurapika fills him up with viscous warmth. When this explosive release abates, they both collapse into a breathless heap of boneless limbs.

After a few minutes of soporific silence, Leorio ventures to speak. "Kurapika?"

Kurapika lifts his sticky cheek from Leorio's cum-riddled chest. "Hmm?"

"I love cuddling with you like this, really. But can you at least pull out? It feels . . . strangely full down there."

"Ah, forgive me, Leorio. I should have been more considerate." Kurapika props himself up on his palms and slowly retracts his flaccid penis.

Leorio sits up, and they both watch, entranced, as glob after glob of semen comes leaking out of Leorio's asshole.

"Do you want to take a shower together?" Kurapika offers.

The question has barely left Kurapika's lips when Leorio heroically sweeps him up in his arms to cart him off into the bathroom. Leorio has, however, severely misjudged the soreness in his backside. As Leorio's body buckles, they both crash down spectacularly over the floor.

Aghast at his own clumsiness, Leorio crawls forward on his elbows and knees to check on Kurapika, who's rolled over close to the bathroom door.

Kurapika may be lying naked on his back, stinking of spunk and undignified to the utmost degree, but he's only laughing in sheer delight. "God, Leorio. How did I ever survive for five years without you — messing me up, throwing me around like this?"

Relieved, Leorio smooches Kurapika's shoulder. "From now on, you never have to worry about such things."


More Author's Notes:

Here's the full and final version of the playlist. Parts one, two, and three of the playlist may be found in the notes of Chapters 26, 30, and 35.

Kurapika

1. Overthinking IT — WILLOW
2. Rainy Day Loop (Parent's House Remix) — SALES
3. Underline the Black — Metric

Leorio, for Kurapika

4. Flames — BOY
5. Sugar — Sufjan Stevens
6. K. — Cigarettes After Sex
7. Time After Time — Tegan and Sara (Cyndi Lauper Cover)

Kurapika, for Leorio

8. A Pearl — Mitski
9. Paralysed — Nilüfer Yanya
10. Total Zombie — Day Wave
11. Find Yourself — Great Good Fine Ok, Before You Exit
12. Crime of Passion — Tim Atlas
13. Like Letter — BP Valenzuela
14. Baby I'm Dyin' — LOLAWOLF
15. Evening Ceremony — Active Child
16. Begin — Shallou feat. Wales
17. begin again — Purity Ring

Leopika

18. Pluie — Snail's House

Hisopika

19. Devils Angel — Unloved
20. Where Evil Grows — The Poppy Family feat. Terry Jacks, Susan Jacks
21. Creatures of Habit — The Kooks
22. P0WDER — Now, Now
23. One Night Stand — Banoffee
24. 1969dime — Monica Riskey
25. Screwed — Janelle Monáe feat. Zoë Kravitz
26. Atypical — BONNIE X CLYDE
27. Copper Kiss — Sälen
28. U Make Me Sick — HOLYCHILD
29. Poison — Girl Friend
30. When You're Near Me I Have Difficulty — XTC
31. Front — Vex Ruffin
32. I Caught Myself — Paramore
33. Break for Lovers — Men I Trust feat. Helena Deland