Chapter 69: A Random Info Dump, Ok?
Cassandra rolls her eyes at Missingno "What about the glitch fights? I thought that we were going to help you from now on?"
Missingno pulls out a pad of paper. "Sorry, when I found out that each of the Elite Four consisted of only Level 3 glitchs, I knew that the fights would be too much for you all. Besides, we still have…" He flips through some of the pages. "four more fights left today."
"..." Cassandra stares at Missingno for a bit before turning to Koja. He shrugs and they look back to their crazy companion. "What did you say?"
"The remaining fights can be grouped into four sections. First-"
Koja waves a hand in front of Missingno's face. "No, we mean that whole 'Level 3 glitch' thing."
"..." Missingno sweats bullets. "Nothing."
The others stare him down until he is covered in bullets.
"Fine!" He bursts from his bullet cocoon. "This was something that was going to be a main theme next season, but whatever! You want to know?"
A few quick nods, and Missingno pulls a string, creating a whiteboard floating in the air. On it is a pyramid split into rows, each one labeled with a level up to 6.
"Glitches have a hierarchical level of power. Each level has a basis of power that is usually higher than the previous level. When you glitch someone or something, that glitch's level becomes one level below yours."
Cassandra scrunches her eyebrows. "This is weird."
"Yes, but Glitches are just different from the rest of the univ-"
"No, I mean that you are talking normally."
"And sound smart." Koja chips in.
Missingno turns red. "Fine! The author is helping me, ok! This is a subject we were gonna explain over a long period of time!"
Cassandra gives a small laugh as she waves her hand. "Sorry, sorry. So, what Level are we?"
"You and Koja are Level 3 glitches. As such, it would be hard for you to face so many other Level 3's."
Driller floats around Missingno, showing off his spears.
"Ok, ok. You are linked to Cassandra, so you are a Level 2 glitch."
"What? You didn't glitch him?"
"Nope!"
Koja clears his throat. "So, then are you a Level 4?"
"Nope!" Missingno smacks the board with a pointer. "I am a Level 5 Glitch, but-!
Suddenly a body crashes through the board, ramming into Missingno and flying up into the air. Koja flings a small rock, which turns into a knife and stabs the body.
"AH! Why would you do that?" The Impaled Missingno stops in midair and falls to the floor.
Koja shrugs.
Missingno props Impaled Missingno to a sitting position. Impaled Missingno is covered in wounds, and winces as he finds a relatively painless position.
Cassandra rushes over. "What happened?"
Impaled Missingno gasps for breath as he regales the tales of all the clones. "We beat people, and then got beaten. The end."
Missingno sheds a tear. "That was beautiful. And so inspiring."
She slaps him upside the head. "This is serious. If an army of you got defeated, can we take on whatever's next?"
"Please. My clones are super weak."
"Ouch."
"Besides," Koja tightens his scarf. "We have no choice. This is the Champion's room. It must house the final boss. If we don't stop it here, it might begin its chaos anew."
Cassandra fixes her hat. "We are the only ones who can stop it, right? So that is what we will do."
Driller flies in circles, jabbing and buzzing.
"Well, at least it isn't Oak." Missingno glares at Impaled Missingno. "At least it isn't Oak, right?"
"Y-yeah, at least it isn't Oak."
Missingno lets him fall to the floor to join the others in a heroic line.
"At least it isn't Oak. But just imagine if we had to face him. In the anime, he holds onto all the Pokemon that trainers aren't using. He could have taken them all and we would have to face an army of Pokemon."
Pretty sure… no, that is pretty plausible.
They step through the dark film that covered the doorway, and found themselves face to face with the glitch that affected all the rest.
The purple haired boy in front of them grinned. "Nice to see you. Finally here yourself, huh?"
Missingno gasps. "Ah, it isn't Professor Oak, but technically it is Blue Oa-"
He ducked as an oversized, generic Pokemon statue flew over him.
"Don't call me that! I've changed!" The boy bore down on him with bloodshot eyes. "I am now Purple Echohawk! The best Pokemon trainer, with a perfect battle record!"
Purple laughed as Koja looked to Missingno.
"Who is this guy?"
Cassandra raised an eyebrow. "Purple, of course. Don't you know him? The only child in Pallet town, a great Pokemon trainer at just the eternal age of 10-ish."
"Yeah, so if Cassandra sees nothing wrong, it must be a glitch."
"Hey! What is that supposed to mean?"
Koja raised his hands up. "I'm just saying, when you see nothing wrong in a strange situation, there it is."
Missingno chuckled. "Yeah, with Koja's special condition and the focus on me, she really does seem like the odd one out."
"HEY!" Purple had turned purple (lols) and pulled out two handfuls of Pokeballs. "Do you know how hard it is to push past the MC talking focus bubble? I changed to avoid having to wait for anyone ever again!"
The capsules released their creatures, curiously oversized and highly realistic. A Pidgeot, Alakazam, Rhydon, Gyrados, Arcanine, and a young girl.
"Wait, what?" All three of the protagonists responded in chorus.
"Surround them, and finish this quickly!" Purple barked.
"Hey!" Missingno literally barked back. "That's against the rules."
"Screw the rules-"
You have money?
"-I'm a glitch!"
Yeah, that works too.
The Pokemon slink to each side, and just as they are about to create a troublesome situation…
With a snap of the fingers, the whole cast appears on a stage.
… good.
"What is this?" Cassandra, Koja, and Purple respond in chorus.
"Well, on a stage, there is not much room, right? So now they have to face us one on one."
On the other side of the stage, the large Pokemon struggle to avoid hitting one another. The Pidgeot spreads its wings, and the others back away to give it room.
"Well, that's good." Cassandra raises an eyebrow. "But why are you pushing Driller towards them?"
"Because this is a Pokemon battle."
Cassandra swipes her Pokemon away. "And whose fault is it that we have been unable to fight most of the battles? Driller is too weak."
"Oh, yeah." Missingno plucks a multicolored hair and holds it towards the giant bee. "Eat this."
"..."
"It's not a joke."
Wow.
A thumping sound is heard in the background, but they pay it no mind.
Koja scoffs. "Why would Driller even eat that? How would Driller even eat that?"
"First, I have been storing up all the exp from all the fights, and placed it into this hair to pass onto the next generation."
Wow.
"And second, this will help." He lifts up an opened bag of chips. From inside, a disc floats up. "There was a prize promotion, and over 9000 bags later, I finally got TM 007!"
While they just look at him, the thumping sound continues.
"... and what does it teach?"
"Yes."
Missingno places the hair on the disc, and smashes it over Driller's head.
Driller grew to level 300.
Driller learned Yes.
PP of all moves increased by 10.
All Stats multiplied by 5.
Driller feels the energy coursing through its body, flowing out its pores in the form of golden mist.
"So, yeah. Now he can fight the Pokemon."
Speaking of which, why isn't it attacking yet?
The continual thumping sound finally gets their attention, and they turn to see the Pidgeot bashing its beak against an invisible wall. As the cracks begin to spread, Purple walks up to it.
Missingno grabs Driller, tosses it over his shoulder and towards the impending fight, and dives towards the stage side, pulling the other two with him. The moment Purple's fist strikes, the MC talking focus bubble shatters, and the Pidgeot takes off at what some might say is Mach 2, surrounded by a white aura. But as it gets within a few inches of Driller's outstretched arm, a blinding light flashes.
Driller used Thunder!
The crack bursts a split second after, and by that time, the Pidgeot is fainted on the ground.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Missingno pops his head out the side. "By the way, I forgot to say that the world is at 1/16th of its population now."
NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!
