Hello! Did you forget about me? I wouldn't blame you. I really have been taking a lot of time off, haven't I? Eh, we'll get into that later. For now, let's celebrate that we're finally done revising and have finally started treading new ground!
It's chapter 69, you know what that means, right? ... nothing. We'll just continue on like normal.
Guest: Well, it's not over. Sorry, I've been... we'll get into that later.
The words were echoing in his mind incessantly.
It can't be.
It can't be.
It can't be.
They have the same eyes; that pale shade of blue that is forever etched into his brain.
They had the same face—his face. If Minato was to slick his hair back, you could mistake them for being twins.
Twins, just like the one that he can feel staring at him across his room. The bluish-grey orbs piercing through him as he was searching through the few research notes Mitsuru was able to discover and supply at his request.
There has to be something—anything to prove him wrong. They can't be the same—it's impossible!
"Is it, big brother?" The phantom spoke behind him in a tone that left him unsure if it was playfully mocking him.
"It has to be," he thought, sifting through more of the papers. Most of the notes were beyond useless—partially damaged, measurements that he couldn't understand, names he didn't know, or the history of some folktales.
None of it made any sense, even to him. The harder he tried, the more futile this effort seemed to be.
But no, he couldn't stop. Too much was on the line.
The phantom's voice began to lower, becoming much dourer. "You're hurting yourself again," it almost sounded like it was pleading with him, "you're looking for something you know doesn't exist."
"It has to," hissing through his teeth, he turned glaring daggers into the figure. But just as quickly as the anger swelled, it was melting away at the sight of teary eyes meeting his.
It truly was the perfect image of her.
Those eyes they shared, yet hers always seemed to be more vibrancy—more of a spark—than his.
The long blue hair that went past her shoulders, complete with the fringe barely hovering above her eye that she would sometimes lower to mock him whenever he needed a haircut.
And finally, that childish smile. The kind that could warm even the dimmest of hearts. But that was gone now. Instead, her lips could only mouth, "why?"
It's a wonder why she even needs to ask.
"Because… because then I…" he felt the words choking him, chains wrapping around his throat tightly as to suffocate him, "I… it'd mean that I-I…"
It would all be his fault.
"I…"
Blood on his hands.
And just like before, there's nothing he can do.
No, that's wrong. There was something he could have done but he crossed that line now. Another one of his mistakes that he'll pay for.
The sounds of footsteps rapidly approaching caused him to shake. Damn, he can't let anyone see him like this!
Before the door could open, he assumed a more lethargic position—hunched over his desk, rubbing his eyes to conceal the redness, and emitting a soft groan.
"Yes…?" he spoke, giving his voice a discernible drawl. Despite the facade, following the act was a genuine yawn; this scavenger hunt of his was more exhausting than he initially realized.
Coming through the door beaming at him was his girlfriend, "Hiya, Blue."
"Oh," a brief moment of surprise washed over him, widening his eyes, "hey, Kotone." Minato did his best to straighten up, not-so-subtly given the giggle escaping her lips. "What's wrong?"
"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "am I not allowed to see my boyfriend now?"
"Wha—No! I mean, yes—I mean…" realizing the stuttering mess he was becoming, the boy lowered his head sighing. He swore he could feel the grin on her face right now.
The hum she let out was teasing, doing wonders to turn her precious "Blue" a pretty shade of red. She certainly knew how to get his mind off things.
"You're adorable," she continued in that playful tone of hers.
As quickly as it came, the smile on her face disappeared. Closing her eyes, Kotone let out a sharp exhale.
Raising an eyebrow, Minato watched her take a seat on his bed, twiddling her thumbs and biting her lip. Not a good sign—she only does this when she's afraid of how he'll react to something.
Taking a moment to consider her words carefully, Kotone started, "I…," the words died before she could say them.
"That bad?"
"Maybe," she shrugged. "It's more about how you feel."
"Just come out and say it."
'It's about Aigis," she explained, watching the suddenly shocked expression take hold of the boy in front of her, "we never—we don't know how you—how would you—"
"I want to see her," Minato answered the question she couldn't bring herself to ask.
Aigis.
Minato had been trying his best not to think of her during his time here, and most of the time his attempts ended in failure.
He nearly killed her. Of all the team members, she was the one whose existence in this world was almost ended because of him.
Killed.
Not the word you use for a machine. Machines are objects; you break or destroy them, not kill them.
But objects don't feel guilt; they don't plead with the enemy to stop or beg to save him.
A machine wouldn't look at their enemy with those sad eyes.
He has to see her. She doesn't deserve the burden his life has placed upon her.
"Minato," Kotone called out to him, "Mitsuru-senpai told me you went pale as a ghost after meeting her father."
No verbal response was given. Minato could only direct his gaze towards the floor, not wanting to see those red orbs looking back at him concerned and afraid for his wellbeing.
"Please," she raised her voice, only slightly as if to proc a response before continuing, "you don't have to do this."
"No," he shook his head, "I do."
He can't look up at her. He knows what will happen if he does.
But he can't run from this. He can't burden her with his problems anymore—she's done too much for him already and she has her own demons to face with her family.
Minato heard shuffling coming from his bed before hearing Kotone's soft footsteps approaching. "Hey, don't do that," she said, placing her palms on his shoulders, "don't shut me out like that."
"I'm not."
"Minato, I've seen all three sides of you," her voice was stern, "don't even try to lie to me like that."
"..." Minato could only bit his lip, balling his hands into weak fists in slight frustration—not at her, but at himself. No matter how hard he tries, he'll always be a burden—a thing to be pitied until he inevitably gets them killed or they betray him.
Mother, Father, Minako, Aigis, Pharos—how long until she ends up like them too?
"Minato!" calling out his name, Kotone briefly shook his shoulders, snapping him out of his daze. "You've hardly said a word since the school trip. Talk to me, please. I know there's something wrong."
She wouldn't give up on him either. It's an inevitable hell of his own making, approaching closer and closer every day.
And if he's right…
'I…" the words became caught in his throat, his mouth becoming dry and his breathing needing to be concentrated, "I… I'm scared."
Minato felt her grip on his shoulders tightening, her nails digging into him before relaxing almost reluctantly. The look on Kotone's face almost makes him want to melt into her arms, hoping to forget everything, if only for a few passing moments.
"Of what?" would she believe him if he told her? Of course, she would, but would he forgive himself? Would he be able to muster enough strength to say it?
No, of course not. He was weak—pathetic. He wasn't strong enough to save his sister from dying years ago, so why should this be any different? The only thing he's ever done right is to destroy everything he has.
"Of losing everything again."
But if he's right, then maybe… maybe he can make it right—or try to. It's the most he can do.
Kotone calls out his name, raising a hand to brush against his cheek, "no more talk like that, okay?" The smile on her face is weak, yet genuine. "The nightmare's over now, and I'm not going anywhere."
If she only knew. Knew what he did—what was coming for them.
But for right now, he wants to believe those words. Believe in them as she's pulling him into her arms, never wanting to let go. Believe in them as she holds him close the time passes. Believe in them so that maybe one day, she may be able to live the life she wants and deserves, regardless of his role within it.
Several hours later, everyone was gathering in the lounge, awaiting Aigis' return. It was impressive that she had been repaired so soon after what he did to her, doubly so now that the twelve shadows are gone and they currently have no objective outside of the occasional visits to Tartarus for the sake of keeping up their strength.
But to be back so soon after Kotone had just told him about her? How long had she been repaired but too afraid of how he would react?
He could hear the phantom whispering in his ear, "are you going to walk down that same road again?"
It may be the same, but it's the only path he sees open to him; here, surrounded by people, feeling all of their eyes on him and watching—waiting.
What must they be thinking? What a monster he is? How he almost killed them? How he has killed them? Do they sleep with one eye open, wondering how long it will take before he tries to murder them in the dead of night?
Or do they see him for what he is? Broken, pitiful… an empty shell of a person drowning so much in his own self-loathing to be unable to live what little of a life he has.
Minato's chain of thought was broken when the doorknob turned, carefully opening as a familiar figure stepped in. She was wearing a light blue dress, similar to what she had worn when they met on Yakushima—or rather when they were reunited after ten years on Yakushima.
"Aigis!"
"You're back!"
"We've missed you so much!"
Like moths to a flame, the members of SEES surrounded their long-gone friend. Minato couldn't help but notice the look of shock and confusion on her face, wondering how they could come to care for her—a machine that was built for combat and could easily be repaired or replaced.
"Funny how that works," he muttered to no one in particular. An heiress, a boxer, the idiot class clown, a robot, an orphaned lunatic—these were quite the band of misfits that have been gathered.
Minato felt a slight nudge at his leg. "Hmm?" turning his head, he saw Koromaru pressing his nuzzle against him, ears lowered and giving him the attention-craving puppy-eyes.
Smiling warmly, the boy pressed his hand against the canine's head, scratching behind his ears.
"Less than a dog."
For the briefest moment, Minato felt every muscle in his hand become stiff as if completely filled with lead. But as quickly as the moment came, it vanished with his hand retreating with a clenched fist.
No, not now. This was celebrating the return of their friend; he can't ruin it with another one of his episodes.
Pushing the memories as far as he could, he returned his gaze to the blonde android with the same fish-out-of-water look she always had when she was in school. It reminded him of a time when Kotone had to ask Makoto for help with some school assignment, only to come across someone foolishly trying to ask Aigis out on a date. It quickly turned to hell when the boy made the mistake of calling them a couple—he was almost certain Aigis was about to kill him on the spot before Kotone jumped in panicking.
The memory of it brings a smile to his face. Strange how it all works out in the end.
Makoto's gone, Kotone's his girlfriend, and now Aigis is eyeing him apologetically across the room, any murderous intent that had been present a few months ago was now completely erased.
Pharos could wait for now. This was more important.
"Please don't screw this up," he silently pleaded to no one in particular, taking a place beside the rest of SEES with uneasy footsteps. "Welcome back, Aigis."
"Minato-san…" hearing his name come from her lips was accompanied by an uncanny sense of surrealism. It was a decade old grudge he had held against her, leading to this moment, yet it felt like a tape that had been rewound.
It was then Minato began realizing that he was looking into a mirror. "I… I'm glad you're okay."
"I…" she hesitated, either at a loss for words or having so many it was impossible to choose, "I am glad to see that you are…" she trails off but the meaning is there. It was impossible to find a word strong enough to express what she was feeling.
"I was concerned," she admits, "I was uncertain if your condition was reversible. I did not want you to suffer by my hand anymore."
"Aigis…" who was it that said that? Fuuka? Yukari? Both?
"It is… because of me," her head lowers and her hands ball into fists, "ten years ago, I could not defeat Death. It was during our confrontation that—"
"Stop."
Aigis raises her head stunned. She scans the boy, searching for any sign of anger, frustration—anything.
Yet, all she can find is…
"But Minato-san," her voice was pleading, as if seeking some form of penance for what she had done, "had I not sealed Death away inside you—had I not taken the fight to the bridge…"
"I'd be dead too," he interjected. "I know what he was and what it meant. You did what you needed to."
"But—"
"That's enough, Aigis," his voice was stern. "Placing him inside me doesn't change anything. The things I've done? What Makoto turned into? No. I did that. I had a chance to move on and I threw it away, and now…" it was only after feeling his words choking in his throat did he realize the venehmance in his voice, emotions fueled by the past ten cruel years.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Minato finished what he set out to do.
"I forgive you, Aigis," he declared her absolution, "for Death, my parents…" his voice lowers, "for her."
No one dares to speak up—no one has the courage. For a moment, there was no one else in the room but the two of them, bearing a piece of their soul out for the other to see.
It's not until he catches Kotone smiling warmly, proudly at him that Minato remembers the crowd surrounding him.
"O-Oh, uh…" Minato blinked, "right, this was supposed to be… um… uh…"
"Maybe we should go celebrate," Yukari was the one to go in for the metamorphic save, "it's a little too late to do something here. Any ideas?"
Glancing at Aigis, a lightbulb lit up in Junpei's head. "Hey, Akihiko-senpai, remember that bet back at Yakushima?"
Whatever the bet was, it was enough to make the boxer wince. "What about it?"
"Well, he wasn't in it but I guess he won," he said, confusing Minato, "he got Ko-tan, didn't he?"
"So I was a bet, huh?" Kotone asked, raising an eyebrow with a smirk on her face. "So that's why you wanted to make kissy faces on the way back."
"Huh?!"
"What?!"
Fuuka gasped, "have you two been together ever since Yakushima?"
"Uh—well—um…" Minato found himself tripping over his words, much to the redhead's delight.
"Don't worry," she winked, walking to his side and locking her arm with his, "you can tell me all about it on the way there."
"You'll lead us there, won't you?" she asked, directing her question at Junpei.
"S-Sure thing!" Junpei couldn't explain why but he had this foreboding sense that his life would have been in peril if he dared to say anything else.
But that sense of danger was nothing compared to the alarm bells that were ringing for Minato. As Kotone was dragging him out the door, he doubted that some light teasing was far from the worst he was going to get tonight.
Tick.
Toc.
Tick.
Toc.
The bluenette brushes his hair out of his eyes, staring out his window revealing a bridge out in the distance. It's not the one he knew so intimately, but he couldn't be bothered to notice the differences.
Bridges were bridges—they were all the same, and they brought back the same memories.
"You look bothered," Pharos' voice came from behind him, expressing his concern.
Makoto did not break his trance. "I hate bridges," he gave a simple reply, "but I can't bring myself to look away either."
"Are you angry?"
"We've been over this before."
"We have discussed myself and my role, yes," Makoto could see Pharos nodding in the glass' reflection, "but we have not done the same for you."
Makoto sighed. There was no way of getting him to drop this one, it would seem.
Turning around, the boy gave in. "Have it your way," he said, "yes, I'm angry."
"At what?"
"I don't know," Makoto scoffed, looking back out the window, "just knowing—feeling that place calling me."
Pharos gave a quizzical tilt, "do you want to go back?"
"No," Makoto shook his head, "but I know I will someday. That bridge is where everything started, isn't it? It's only natural we end up back there… someday."
Pharos stood beside his friend, joining him in staring out the glass and focusing on the bridge. "What do you think will happen?"
Makoto inhaled, prepared to speak before shaking his head, "bah, too cliched."
"Please?" Pharos pouted, "I would love to hear it."
The pout was enough to make the boy groan. Try as he might, he could never say no to him. "It's where everything began, right?" Pharos nodded. "If I had to guess, it's where the end would start too."
I apologize if the tone was a bit all over the place. This took ages for me to write since... well, I've been taking a lot of mental health days. Trying to take care of myself rather than writing, as I'm sure you all can understand, I hope.
Nonetheless, I hope everyone is staying safe in these trying times.
