Chapter 44:
A/N: This may be one of my favourite chapters so far...
Trigger warning: references to self-harm and abuse.
Michelle
"Gosh, why's the temperature suddenly dropped about thirty degrees." I shiver as we leave Victoria court, wrapping my coat around me tighter. I hear the early morning commotion; the clang of the milkman making deliveries, the distant whizz of the trams as they cart people off to work. A standard Tuesday morning, but unlike any other.
"Uh!" Carla grabs my hand suddenly and I stop in my tracks. "Coffee." She just points at Roy's like a child and I just roll my eyes before following her in. "Morning Roy."
"Yes, hello, morning." He manages to address us both, clearly flustered as he juggles two full English breakfast plates in his hands.
"Everything alright?" Carla leans forward on the counter, resting her head in her arms. "You look stressed."
"Well yes, that would be rather definitional." He responds, disappearing briefly to deliver two breakfasts to a pair of builders before returning. "Two coffees is it?"
"Anything we can help with?" She offers and he almost looks taken-aback for a moment.
"You? No." It almost sounds like a dig, but I can tell from Roy's expression that he means it sincerely. "If you must know, I was supposed to be accompanying Mary to the Carmina Burana today."
"...And what's that when it's at home?" Carla squints, trying to make sense of his words.
"A classical music showcase." He explains, placing two coffees down on the counter. "Usually, it only tours at the Royal Albert Hall, but this year, it is making a special appearance at The Bridgewater Hall. I must say, it was quite a struggle trying to get tickets. I was most disappointed to receive a call noting Shona's sickness. Therefore, I have nobody to cover."
"Well we can't have you missing your... Carina Banana... Thing." She tries to spell out, receiving a correcting look from Roy.
"Carmina Burana." He corrects and she just shrugs.
"Well whatever, you go, me and Michelle will cover here. Keep things ticking over." She glances across at me. "Won't we?"
"Uh..."
"As humorous as that is, I will have to decline." Roy objects politely, leaving me quite relieved.
"Humorous?" Carla repeats, clearly slightly offended. "What, do you think I'm not capable of putting some bacon in a butty?"
"...In all honesty?" He looks up at her. "No."
"Uh!" She argues, grabbing an apron from where it is hanging up and waltzing behind the counter. "Excuse me, I am a woman of many talents, me. Now get going."
"Carla, I refuse to allow this to-"
"Roy, go." She orders, scaldingly. "Michelle is going to help me. She used to own the Bistro, didn't you, Chelle?"
"Well... What about the factory?" I try to excuse and Roy waves a hand in my direction, backing me up.
"Oh I'll phone Sal." Carla dismisses. "She'll be delighted to know she's back in the swivel chair again."
"I really don't think this is-"
"I won't tell you again." Carla points at Roy, as if he was a naughty child being sent to his bedroom. "Now phone Mary and then go and get your suit on."
Roy glances at me with concern. It was evident he had no choice in the matter; when Carla made her mind up about something, there was no changing it. "You'll keep her supervised."
"Yes-"
"I don't need to be supervised!" She pouts, hitting him gently with a spatula. "Off you go, go on."
"Right... Okay." He just mutters, nodding curtly to us both. "Thank you very much."
"...Well, we know who the strict parent is going to be." I poke her in the side once he is out of earshot and she raises an eyebrow at me, picking up Roy's abandoned apron and handing it over. "You're serious?"
"Deadly." She lowers her voice, a playful smile on her cheeks. "Now get frying those eggs."
Carla
"Uh, two more sausage barms when you're ready, Chelle." I call back to her and she glares at me.
"Why can't you do the sausages for a change?"
"Because I'll burn them!" I prompt, blowing her a kiss to soften the look on her face.
"Wow, things must be bad at the factory." A distasteful voice rings in my ears and I turn to see Robert staring at me.
"No." I respond bluntly, scribbling his name on a notepad. "We're helping Roy." Lifting my gaze, I weigh up the gleeful glint in his eye. "What are you doing here anyway? Keeping tabs on the competition?"
"Competition." He scoffs at the word, screwing his nose up rudely as he gazes around the cafe. "No, I've come to get get my blender back."
"Ey?"
"Roy borrowed one of our blenders last week. I need it back." He tells me shortly, scanning behind me.
"Well Roy isn't here at the moment." I point out. "So as soon as he is back I will tell him to return it to you."
"Well that's not good enough because I need it today."
"You have like fifty blenders in that place, why do you need this particular one?" I snap at him, which attracts the attention of Michelle.
"Right, I won't get in your way." He tries to walk behind the counter. "I'll just have a look for it."
"Uh! No you won't!" I hold a hand up to him and he gives me a soft push, which is enough for Michelle to intervene.
"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" She shouts at him, stepping in front of me. The noise of the cafe dims slightly once customers turn their attention to the drama. "Lay another finger on her and you're barred!"
"I hardly touched her-"
"Get out!" She demands and he holds his hands up, looking almost intimidated by her for a second.
"Alright." He rolls his eyes, beginning to walk away. "It's someone's time of the month."
"Michelle!" I grab her before she can charge at him, the amused smirk on his face just aggravating us more. "Leave it, he's not worth it." I calm her, finally letting her go. "I thought things had calmed down between you two?"
"Well they had." She shrugs. "But not when he thinks he can push my wife around like that."
"My hero." I tilt my head to the side, watching her expression soften. Lost in a trance for a moment before I hear a hesitant cough, I snap my head around to face Tyrone. "Yes Ty, what can I get you?"
"Uh... bacon butty." He refrains from asking why we were serving him, counting the change in his hand. "And a tea if you've got one going."
"I'm sure we can stretch to that." I flash him a smile. "Four sixty." I take it from him, noticing that Michelle was still stood next to me and giving her a gentle nudge. "Chelle? Bacon butty." She shoots me a death glare before turning on her heel and I try to hold back a laugh.
Michelle
"Reckon you can take that apron home with us?" I hum the words softly in Carla's ear, feeling goosebumps prickle up her arm as I run my hand up it.
"An apron?" She arches a brow, turning to face me as if completely unfazed by my words. "Really?"
"Well you're kinda hot when you boss me around like that." I whisper seductively and she whips her head around the cafe, checking that nobody was watching. Not that anybody would be, the only remaining customers consisted of Evelyn flicking through the paper in the corner of the room and Asha and Amy, chatting absent-mindlessly as they nursed their hot chocolates. "Authoritative."
"Stop it." She manages a coy smile, snaking an arm around my waist. "We did good today. Quite a team, aren't we?"
"Yeah, apart from the seven orders you messed up." I dig at her and she narrows her eyes defensively, leaning in to kiss me.
"Uh, do you mind?" Evelyn calls over, splitting us apart and I place my hands on my hips. Maybe somebody was listening after all. "All that, it's knocking me sick here. You'll put me off my brew."
"Excuse me?" Carla snaps back, suddenly fiery. "If you don't like it, you know where you can go."
"Well I'm sure Roy will be pleased to know that the 'customer is always right' rule has been upheld in your presence."
"You homophobic-"
"Carla!" I scold her, shutting her up as Evelyn's brow creases.
"I'm not anything of the sort, thank you." She stands up abruptly, zipping her coat up in a stern manner. "Don't throw your accusations at me."
"Close the door on your way-"
"Oi!" I nudge Carla, although Evelyn had already exited. "Roy won't be pleased."
"Well, she was rude!" Carla exclaims and I sigh exasperatedly pulling her closer to me.
"Not everyone is gonna like it." I remind her gently. "It's something we have to live with."
"Well if this had been Leanne and Nick she wouldn't have given a damn-"
"So, why'd you care?" I tilt her chin to face me, studying her expression. "I don't care what anybody else thinks, except for this one here." I poke her nose playfully and she lets out a soft sigh, eyes scanning my face. My mouth creases into a smile as I start to sing playfully, winding her up, "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine-"
"Ok shut up." She bats me away, finally laughing at how I had won her over. "Else you'll knock me sick and all."
Carla
"I really don't want to go!" I whine, lying flat on the bed in a bid not to move. "I hate parties. Especially parties where you have to dress up like an idiot and listen to kids scream all night."
"...Wow, who'd have thought you were going to be a mum in seven months." Michelle sarcastically calls back to me from the living room and I roll my eyes, grabbing at a copy of Grazia and lifting it above my face.
Struggling with which shoes to wear this October? Knee high boots are the answer.
"Ha, this is you." I mutter loudly as I read. "Hands up if you've started at least five conversations this week with the question or observation 'ooo hasn't it turned cold?' You don't shut up about it. You can tell you're getting to Rita's age."
"Oi!" She shouts, dipping her head around the door and I catch a glimpse of her slick dark hair, complete with a set of cat ears. "You'll be Rita's age before me."
"A cat?" I raise an eyebrow, sitting up on the bed. "That's what you're going as? Isn't it a little cliche?"
"And what are you going as?" She prompts me, staring at where I was still sat in a dressing gown with a makeup-less face. "You're right, I feel shamed by all your efforts. How on earth will I manage to stand next to you tonight feeling like-"
"Right ok." I throw the magazine at her playfully and she pushes the door open wide, coming into full display. My eyes fall to where the black cat suit is teasingly zipped down to expose her cleavage, her figure perfect as if crafted by Gods. It wouldn't be a surprise to me if it had been. "...You look nice." Is all I can manage, swallowing hard.
"Oh really? I thought it was 'cliche'?" She mimics me, clearly offended by my comment. "Carla!" She snaps and my eyes drift back up to her face, a wicked smile crossing my own. "Get dressed."
"Can't we stay here?" I crawl forwards on the bed, trying to sway her. "I'll make it worth your while."
"Mm, will you?" She crouches down at the foot of the bed, seductively leaning so close to me that I can feel the heat of her lips next to mine. She lingers for a moment, temptingly, her eyes flicking upwards before uttering, "nope." She stands and swiftly turns on her heel, closing the door behind her.
"Oh you are going to hell." I throw a cushion at the door, ready to throw a tantrum over all the lust that had boiled inside me just by the way she spoke, the way she moved, the way she tempted me so cleverly it made me wet. She didn't know the impact she had on me, and maybe she never would.
"Happy Halloween!" Hope yells at us as soon as we enter the Rovers, making me jump out of my skin. The room had been thrown into a dimly lit, spooky grotto. Cobwebs were hanging from the ceiling, with pumpkins decorating the bar. "Trick or treat?" Hope snaps me out of my thoughts, yanking rudely on the sleeve of my jumpsuit.
"Scuse me?" I look down at where she is dressed in a skeleton costume, face painted ghost white, greedily holding out a party bag.
"Trick or treat!" She repeats and I glance at Michelle, not knowing what to do in this situation.
"Well aren't you supposed to go knocking on doors for that?" I ask her, trying to keep my tone as light as possible.
She narrows her eyes, warningly. "Do you want me to trick you?"
"No! No." I decide, pulling a fiver from my pocket and handing it to her. "There you go." I smile proudly as she stares at it in confusion, eventually shrugging and throwing it into her party bag.
"Hope!" Fiz appears behind her. "I told you to stop asking people for sweets."
"I didn't ask her for sweets and she didn't give me anything." She shrugs innocently as Michelle pulls on my arm, clearly deciding it was time to defer ourselves from this situation. Hope whining in denial behind us.
"Ah, there's my girls." Johnny claps his hands together, holding out two black glittery cocktails which looked like they probably contained enough additives to power a chocolate factory. "Here's your free cocktail on entry."
"...Is it alcoholic?" I ask, sniffing it briefly and realising I didn't need him to answer.
"Of course." He preens and I pass it to Michelle as soon as he has turned his back.
"I'm not sure I want to drink that." She mutters, staring at what looked like black un-set jelly in a glass.
"Oh go on, I wish I could." I glance around the room disinterestedly. Fair enough, Johnny, or more likely Jenny, had gone to lengths to make the place look fitting. But this really wasn't my idea of heaven.
"Ah, you made it." Jenny greets us, eyeing Michelle up and down. "A cat? Isn't that a little cliche?"
I try to hide my laughter as Jenny turns on her heel, hurrying up to fuss over Joseph and Ruby, Michelle pulling a face in her direction before downing the cocktail like a shot. "Tastes like liquorice."
"Don't, I'll heave." I hold a hand up at the thought, watching the distaste in her expression. She pauses before downing the other one, wincing at the taste. "That's my girl." I pat her on the back and she shoots me a look. "Johnny can we get a drink?"
"Finished those already?" He eyes up the empty glasses. "Must have been tasty."
"Yeah..." I just respond, ignoring where Michelle still had her face screwed up with revulsion. "Can we get a red wine and an orange juice please?"
"Orange juice?" He looks at me worriedly.
"Got a bit of a headache." I lie, winning him over easily as he goes off to make the drinks.
"Good job you're a professional liar." Michelle nudges me, casting her eyes down my body. "So what are you supposed to be?"
"Don't need a costume." I shrug. "I scare enough people around here."
"Yeah..." She nods sarcastically. "Hope seemed really scared of you when she managed to wrangle that fiver out of your pocket."
"Well, it's tradition isn't it?" I prompt her, although I actually had no idea about Halloween. Trick or treating was not something I had indulged in as a kid. If I had knocked on the doors of the estate, I was sure I'd definitely not have received a treat from whoever was on the other side.
"Yeah, to give sweets." She reminds me. "Not money."
"Well, I don't want Fiz taking more time off when she's got to take her to the dentist to get a filling." I decide off the top of my head. "I'm doing everyone a favour."
"Red wine and an orange juice." Johnny places them down and I hand him the money.
"Keep the change."
"Wow really splashing the cash tonight, aren't you?" Michelle whispers when he has thanked me and I turn to face her, my eyes trailing down the leather catsuit.
"Did you buy that especially for tonight?" I ask, and I know it's not what she was expecting to leave my mouth.
"No, I've had it years."
"How come I've never seen it before then?" I flick my tongue flirtatiously, playing her at her own game.
"Maybe you haven't been good enough." She turns away, smirking to herself as she sips her wine. I can feel my body heat up at her words, my cheeks involuntarily flushing slightly. There was no way I would give her the satisfaction of knowing, but I wanted her so badly tonight.
"Excuse me lady?" I hear an abrupt voice and another yank on my sleeve, my eyes falling down to where Ruby is standing, snapping me out of my dirty thoughts. "Did you give my sister money?"
"...No." I respond bluntly, as if a six year old was going to tell me off.
"She told me you did." She folds her arms sulkily and I sigh, opening my purse and taking a pound coin from it. "She said you gave her a note."
"Right I'm not the tooth fairy!" I try to refrain from snapping and she glares at me before running off. "Great, now look what I did." I put my head in my hands, feeling the support of Michelle's hand on my back. "How am I supposed to have one of those and know what to do with it?"
"I mean... Those kids of Fiz and Tyrones are a right handful. I wouldn't worry."
"Yeah and what if ours is?" I turn to look at her. "What if I can't control it? I mean come on Chelle, I'm a spoilt brat and you can be a right diva, it's got no chance-"
"Oi! Speak for yourself." She slaps me gently, narrowing her eyes in offence. "And stop referring to our baby as 'it'."
I am about to open my mouth to retaliate some sarcastic response when I feel another tug on my clothing, plastering a very forced smile onto my face as I turn to face Joseph. "You're the lady giving out money, right?"
Exhaling sharply, I take a quick glance around the room. "I think she is." I point to where Tracy is stood with Steve in the corner and he nods, running off in that direction.
"Yoohoo! Michelle?" Mary pushes her way between us and I screw my nose up, ready to argue with her about her abrupt entrance, before casting my eyes over her hideous costume. "Tracy was being incredibly rude about my Halloween outfit, so I told her I would come and join my friends Michelle and Carla instead?"
"Friends?" I repeat, furious as to why I was being disturbed every two minutes by people I never associated myself with.
"I actually needed a word with you anyway." Mary ignores me, turning to speak to Michelle. "About these flowers you've asked me to do for your client Danielle's wedding."
"Ugh." I groan, instantly disinterested and instead making a bee-line for where Maria and Liam were gathered. "Hi."
"Hello you." Maria eyes me up and down. "...Spooky."
"Halloween isn't really my thing." I shrug, noting the witches hat that is propped on her head. "So I thought I'd just dress in black and... Put some darker lippy on."
"Do you own anything that isn't black?" She jokes with me and I flash her a sarcastic smile.
"Hello Liam, cool costume." I address him, lightening my tone as much as possible. "I once went as a devil to one of your Uncle Paul's Halloween parties... We were in the bedroom most the night."
"I'm not a devil, I'm a demon!" He corrects me and I just pause, debating whether to ask what the difference was but realising I had dug myself a big enough hole.
"Well, it's better than Mary's." I tell Maria, pointing over to her. "What's she supposed to be anyway?"
"Oh I think she's the Gruffalo." Maria nods knowingly and I furrow my brow.
"The what?"
"The Gruffalo." She repeats, as if it was obvious and I scan my mental dictionary, deciding to side-step it again. "Honestly Carla, you're like the mouse, you."
"...The what?" I squint as she suddenly walks off, going to pull Liam away from where he was trying to steal Jake Windass' lightsaber. I find myself stood alone, not registering that Tracy was in a similar position just half a metre away from me.
"Hello." She sounds less than enthused as she shuffles towards me. "Unlike you not to have a drink in your hand."
"Well I did have a kidney operation a few months back." I prompt her memory.
"Yeah, and I've had one and all." She reminds me, as if it was a competition. "But it's a kids Halloween party, I'm not doing it sober. Anyway, why are you here? You don't have a kid."
"I'm here for Johnny." I don't even know why I'm responding to her passive-aggressiveness, clicking my teeth to distract myself from wanting to slap her. "I don't see Amy around."
"Uh, I'm here for Oliver." She points to where Steve is stood feeding him sausage rolls from the buffet.
"Oh yeah..." I murmur, looking on. "Forgot you had all that baggage and all."
"Do not leave me with Mary again." Michelle suddenly scolds, joining us.
"Well I'm sorry, I didn't think I had much of an input towards 'Danielle's wedding flowers'." I mimic, slipping my hand into hers. "And all those spikes on her back were poking me."
"Yeah, she's gone all out on that Gruffalo costume." Tracy looks over and I roll my eyes, daring to ask.
"Ok, what the hell is a 'Gruffalo'?"
"It's a children's book, babe." Michelle informs me, which makes more sense as to why everybody else was in the know except me.
"Yeah." Tracy shoots back at me, just uttering the words, "you wouldn't know, you haven't got children", before walking away. I try not to let it bother me, used to Tracy Barlow using whatever she could to get one over on me.
"Well she's a joy as ever." Michelle mutters in her absence, rubbing my back soothingly. "Can I get you anything?"
"Yes. You, our bed and a load of toffee popcorn." I groan and she smiles.
"You've really got cravings for sweet stuff at the moment haven't you?"
"I know, why can't I have cravings for celery or... Water?" I grumble, tucking into her side as she wraps her arms around me.
"Give it half an hour." She kisses the top of my head. "Then I'm all yours."
Michelle
"Oh these invoices need to be sorted today." Carla groans, finding a stack in the filing cabinet and leaning her head against it. "Do you think we should get a PA?"
"Pass them here, I'll sort them." I hold my hand out and she pulls away, handing them to me. Flicking through, I check the dates on the top, ensuring they were in numerical order. "They've been paid, haven't they?"
"Yeah, they've been paid. I just haven't inputted them into the system."
"Right well calm down, it'll only take half an hour." I try to soothe her, as she takes a seat opposite me, lowering her head into her hands. I am about to open my mouth to voice something reassuring, which she would probably dispute with some sarcastic comment, but there is a loud knock on the door before I can do so. "Yes, come in."
"Hello Mrs Connor, Mrs Connor." Sally addresses brightly and I resist an eye roll.
"Michelle." I nag, as usual, even though I knew it would go over her head again.
"Sorry to interrupt." She closes the door behind her, clutching a clipboard to her chest like a badge of honour. "Kirk is asking me for the updated delivery details for Knights. I remembered you saying they have changed premises?"
"Ohh, shoot." Carla mumbles to herself, tapping her forehead multiple times as if to track her memory. "Knights."
I, however, take a more logical approach, unlocking my computer and pulling up the company address book.
Knights Garments
7 Bredbury Park Industrial Estate
Stockport
SK6 2SD
"Right they've moved to Bredbury Park Industrial Estate." I read off the screen.
Sally nods her head, as if lodging it in her memory. "Bredbury Park." She turns to leave before I call her back.
"Hang on." I stop her, scribbling down the address on a piece of notebook paper. "Post code. Kirk'll never find it otherwise, we know what he's like." I pass it over to her. "And make sure it's thirty two boxes, yeah?"
"Thirty two boxes with two hundred batches in each." She reads off the clipboard.
"Well last time one went astray." I scold her. "Don't let it happen again."
"Yes Mrs Connor." She nods her head curtly before leaving and I practically growl 'Michelle' under my breath.
"See, wasn't that hard, was it?" I turn to Carla, who is circulating a pen between her fingers, staring into mid-air. "Carla?"
"I'm glad one of us is on the ball." She draws herself back to reality, glancing at the clock.
"Why don't you go and get your head down, hey? I can cope here for a bit."
"I'm not tired." She blatantly lies and I just arch a brow, going back to sorting the invoices. "Lethal combination; pregnancy and kidney failure."
"Well they did warn you." I point out, although I could have been more sympathetic. "It's nearly lunch anyway. Where do you fancy going? I can phone Ryan, ask if there are any tables at Speed Daal?"
"I'd rather just go to Roy's." Carla clicks the pen a few times, disinterestedly.
"Wow. Who are you and what have you done with Carla Connor?" I dare to joke, knowing she was shooting me a look without needing to raise my head. "Hey, that new client called earlier. Mr Fawkes."
"Who?" I can see she has furrowed her brow as soon as I lift my gaze to hers.
"Mr Fawkes."
"Who's Mr Fawkes?" She rubs her temple, as if she was losing her mind with fatigue.
"You know, called last week, placed a massive order with us." I wind her up and she gradually looks more confused. "Three tonnes of gunpowder. Planning to blow this place up."
"Eh?" She is taken aback for a moment, before noticing the twinge of a smile on my cheeks. "Oh for God's sake Michelle! You had me confused then."
"Well it is 5th November." I laugh, dodging as she catapults the pen she had been repetitively clicking in my direction. "Couldn't resist."
"I hope this is leading to something."
"It is actually." I drop the stack of paperwork I am rifling through, crossing my arms and leading forwards. "We're going to a bonfire tonight. At the Red Rec."
"...Haha." She just mutters, shaking her head. "No we're not."
"Oh Carla please." I whine like a toddler. "It'll be really romantic."
"What? Traipsing through a muddy park at night with screaming kids and sparklers?"
"Well maybe it'll distract you from being such a moody cow." I point out and her shoulders droop, tutting quietly. Hesitating, I pout my lips, leaning forwards on my elbow and softening my voice. "Please." I hang off the word. "It'll be fun."
"It won't be fun."
"I'll make it fun." I gently graze the tip of my stiletto up her leg, watching her swallow at the motion.
"Not like that you won't." She shoots back.
"Well then I'll make it fun when we get home." I continue to negotiate, watching as I wear down her hard expression.
"Right, fine, ok." Eventually she gives in, pausing as she ponders something for a moment. "...Only if you buy me treacle toffee."
Carla
"Takes me back to childhood this." Michelle pops a piece of toffee in her mouth as we walk through the brightly lit park, scents of firewood and Autumn air filling my lungs. "Me and you used to have this every year."
"Speak for yourself." I scoff softly. "The only thing I got was a lit match I could pretend was a sparkler... George used to tell us to keep our gloves on in case it burnt our hand, I'm sure secretly he'd have loved it to."
"Noo," Michelle cuts through my self-pity, linking her arm with mine. "We used to go to the quarry on Bonfire night, remember? Share the toffee that Liam had probably nicked for me."
"Oh, when we were teenagers, yeah." I reminisce, thinking back fondly. Now that I thought about it, those nights were some of the brightest from my childhood. I remembered Michelle and I cuddled up under a moth-eaten blanket, laying back on the grass, staring over the cliff edge and into the distance where fireworks would be erupting from different gardens. Gardens of households where children were loved and laughing, shouting 'another one dad', before being carried up to bed. Children who's treacle toffee was bought, not stolen. "...Yeah, that was fun." I go quiet again, thinking back. It was memories like that which I realised made my gruelling childhood worth it. The grubby estate. The alcoholic mother and the abuse from George. The constant fear of unknowing. Rob's tears soaking my pyjama top every night when he couldn't sleep because our room was freezing and the screaming wouldn't stop in the living room. But then, if I hadn't lived through it, I wouldn't be here with Michelle now. Maybe, without her, I wouldn't have lived through it at all. "...All my best memories from childhood were with you."
"Hang about, you couldn't even remember it a second ago." She slaps me gently on the arm, noticing my nostalgic expression.
"I'm serious." I turn my head to her, linking our arms tighter. "I don't know whether I'd have survived it, if it wasn't for you."
"Oh come on, you're tough you."
"Yeah but only because you helped me." I point out, her eyes shimmering in the darkness. "All the times I'd had enough, I was ready to give up, you would be there just in time. All the times I cut my thigh too deep and couldn't tell anybody else, you would clean it up. Those nights I had nowhere to go because George had pinned me against the wall and then thrown me out for speaking back to him, you would sneak me into your bedroom... Our little secret from your mam."
"And we'd squeeze into my tiny single bed together, trying to keep each other warm." She remembers.
"You'd have to hold me for hours, telling me everything would be ok, letting me cry."
"I didn't have to. I wanted to." She whispers and my footsteps pause in the fallen, crisp leaves that cluttered the pathway. My head turns to face her, noticing she had stopped as well. I could feel tears pricking in my eyes, studying the face that looked back at me, the same one which once upon a time promised me everything would work out. It did. She had never broken a promise. Not even one as big as that.
"Hormones." I excuse, as she wipes a tear from my cheek, laughing softly and reaching forwards to kiss my forehead.
"Oh for goodness sake!" An unwelcome voice rings out and we both turn our looks of dismay in the same direction, resting our eyes on Tracy Barlow. "This is a kids bonfire night, not G-A-Y."
"Well we're not having sex in the pile of leaves under the oak tree." I snap at her, already infuriated by her sarcasm.
"It wouldn't surprise me." She tuts, holding out a hand and it is only then I realise that she is stood behind the admissions desk. "Two of you? Six pounds please."
"What are you doing helping out here?" Michelle hands over a ten pound note. "You do realise this is for charity?"
"Yes, I know." She responds shortly, collecting our change from the pot in front of her. "It's supposed to be part of Amy's Duke Of Edinburgh volunteer work. I'm just covering while she goes to the toilet... Mind you, she's been gone about twenty minutes."
"Yeah, good luck with that." Michelle flashes her a false smile, pulling on my arm as we walk off. "Cow."
"Tracy Barlow? Never." I tease her and she giggles softly, guiding me towards where a crowd of people were starting to build up. I spend about five minutes screwing my nose up at the people around us, judging their choice in woolly hats and mentally ridiculing their trivial conversations, before realising how static Michelle is stood next to me. "Hey, you ok?"
"Mm." She just nods, staring ahead of her. "Just... Nervous." It is only then that I remember, staring out at where three men are gathered around, preparing to spark up the display. The last time we had been near fireworks had been when Ryan set one off at Aidan's wake, resulting in her having a complete anxiety breakdown. It had completely slipped my mind that this must be a massive step for her, putting my own selfishness first. I now understood why she had wanted to come so badly. She wanted to prove to herself that she could do this.
"Hey." I slip my arms around her waist from behind, reaching for her hands and clasping them in mine. I plant a kiss on her cheek, nestling my head into her shoulder. "You're safe. Feel me? I've got you. Nothing's going to go wrong."
"Yeah." She just murmurs, staring out anxiously. It feels like an eternity before one of the lit sparks finally erupts, shooting into the sky and letting out a loud bang. She shudders suddenly and I squeeze her a little tighter, reminding her that I am there. "Funny... You said I had to hold you once upon a time, telling you things would be okay. Now we're thirty years on and you're doing the same for me."
"Well that's the beauty of us." I whisper in her ear, feeling her relax slightly at the sound of my voice. Another firework goes off and she is less shocked this time, lacing her fingers tighter with mine. "You were right, this is romantic."
"See, told you." She manages to laugh, watching the colours burst before us. Reds and greens and purples decorating the sky like rogue Christmas lights. As time goes on, I feel her grip loosen, her breathing calm, her body still. Eventually, she moves to nestle into my side, tilting her head to look at me. "Thank you for coming. You didn't have to."
"No, I didn't have to." I repeat her earlier comment, kissing her gently under the stars. "I wanted to."
Very fluffy chapter but couldn't resist hehe. Big chapter coming up!
