"Well, that leads us very nicely into my next memory," I said in an announcer style voice.
Which just earned me my first cushion in the face.
"Hey!" I said to Sirius' overly innocent look.
"You were getting too smug there, baby cousin."
I growled at that but Sirius didn't even have the grace to pretend to be scared.
"Padfoot, you're about ten times more smug than Nymphadora."
It was Remus' turn for a cushion in the face. Something he deflected easily which was just unfair. He didn't even say anything to me!
"Yeah but I am known for it. Can't have a baby cousin challenging me on it."
"You are an idiot."
"You liked my smugness when-"
"Do you want to hear about how I am far better at dungbombs than you or not?" I asked loudly.
Tonks still wasn't entirely sure why her dad had pressed a bag of dungbombs into her hand when they were saying goodbye at the train station. He had done it while they were hugging, to stop mum from seeing. Not that she was complaining. She had always wanted to see what dungbombs did but mum was extremely firm on not letting her anywhere near them, even in the shops. Which was silly because they were quite safe in their packets. Just like now. They hadn't opened where she had them stashed in her trunk or anything.
There were three of them. That's how many you got in a basic set. They were kind of squishy when you touched them which was both gross and cool at the same time.
Now, the question was what to do with them. Well, obviously she was going to pull a prank with them. Or several pranks. But what kind of prank? This needed some serious thought.
She looked down at the packet and frowned. There were instructions on how to use it and a few ideas one what to do with it but she didn't want to do a basic prank. No way. That was tame. And required no finesse. Where was the fun it just throwing the thing? There wasn't. Which meant she had to come up with a good plan.
This was going to need some serious thought
Right. She had managed it. She, Nymphadora (and she was only using her first name to make it sound more impressive) Tonks had come up with a brilliant idea for the dungbombs.
She had been toying with the idea of three separate pranks because of the three dungbombs, but she wanted this to be dramatic. Also, if she didn't set one off right at least there was others.
Simple. She was keeping it simple. There was no need for grand schemes so early in the game. She had to work her way up to Master after all. Currently, she was but a lowly apprentice. Uh, to herself. Eh, it sounded good in her head. No matter! Because the plan was about to be executed!
Luckily for her, there was a really handy cabinet nestled in a corner where you turned to go down the Hufflepuff Corridor as it was known by. It was full of awards that had been awarded to Hufflepuff House, as well as individual members. Nothing too grand or anything, that was for the trophy room, but things like "Top in such and such-and-such subject" and "Most improved" and "Teamwork Treasures" and other cutesy things like that. All very nice and all but the main thing was that it had a ridge around the top of it. Which was just high enough to sort of hide a few dungbombs. Which is what she had done, obviously.
Of course, Tonks, being horrendously vertically challenged (still hadn't figured out morphing her height) couldn't just place them up there. Actually, some of the seventh year might just be able to reach there. And only the really tall lanky ones. She also wasn't stupid enough to lob them up there. That would most likely pre-emptively set them off and that definitely wasn't a part of the plan. Good thing Tonks was actually quite accurate with her Wingardeum Leviosa. It came in handy at times like this.
Now, Tonks was not going to do the stupid thing and be close when she set the dungbombs off. That was what the big pole was for. Well, it was really a broom handle that she had popped off said broom (hopefully Filch wouldn't miss it) but it was the only thing she could find that was long enough to do the job.
There was also a handy, dandy suit of armour to hide behind. One of the perks of being vertically challenged.
It was all perfect set out and now she just had to wait for the perfect time. Which hopefully wasn't too long because she was ready for dinner. She just had to wait for a good crowd of people to walk past...
Which was now, as luck would have it. And they were mainly upper years. Score! Grasping the broom handle firmly, Tonks raised it and 'poke', one dungbomb came tumbling down.
It exploded everywhere and the horrible scent assaulted her nose before she could set the other two out. Which, she did at the same time so she could save time and quickly yank her jumper over her nose. Dad hadn't mentioned how vile it was!
There were shrieks and shouts as they went off and Tonks couldn't help but snigger. Which made the suit of armour shake. Which wasn't good.
Of course, this meant that she ended up in Professor Sprout's Office. Still covered in dungbomb... stuff. It made her eyes stream something fierce but it probably wasn't a good idea to rub at them, who knew what that stuff did to you if you ingested it. Tonks hadn't realised the range of them! It was really quite impressive.
She twiddled with her fingers instead. It was the only thing she could do considering that her Head of House currently wasn't saying anything to her. In fact, Professor Sprout was currently imitating a fish - opening and closing her mouth as she struggled for words. It was rather fascinating to watch. Mum would have scolded her by now. Mot that she wanted to be scolded.
"Miss Tonks, is there a reason why you felt like using a dungbomb was a good idea?"
Now it was Tonks' turn to open and close her mouth. She didn't exactly have an answer to that, of course there wasn't a good reason for using a dungbomb. Nothing that adults would find a good reason anyway. "Because she was bored" or "revenge" or "it was funny" was never anything adults appreciated in her experience.
"No, ma'am," she replied instead in a low tone.
She just heard a sigh from in front of her as well as a mutter about why dungbombs were ever created.
"It is completely disrespectful of the inhabitants of the Castle," Professor Sprout lectured as Tonks hesitantly looked up. "Your fellow students, the House Elves, Mr Filch. They all have to live with the consequences of that horrific stench. Which isn't very fair, is it?"
Merlin, Professor Sprout was good at laying down the guilt trip. Tonks couldn't look at her in the face, instead focusing on her shuffling feet.
"No, ma'am," she repeated.
Would anyone ever answer yes to those questions? It would be pretty stupid if they did. Even if they didn't feel guilty. Which Tonks did. Sort of. Mainly because she didn't think how other people would be affected.
"I am sorry," she added, trying to look contrite.
Just because she felt a bit bad didn't mean she wished that she hadn't done it. On the contrary, she was happy she had done it. Just not so happy that she hadn't had the foresight to run away like any sensible person would do.
Her Head of House gave her an appraising look, like she knew what Tonks was thinking. Finally, the woman sighed and shook her head.
"Detention," Professor Sprout finally announced. "You will clean up the mess you made."
Tonks nodded in agreement. That was more than fair.
"For how long?" she asked.
That got her an almost-smile from Professor Sprout which she would later come to recognise as foreshadowing.
"However long it takes."
