"—I just think we might have different definitions of 'cabin,' is all I'm sayin'."
"I never called it a cabin," Bruce's clarification was earnest. Stern, even. "It's my family's lake house. If you're going to police someone's vocabulary, it should be Selina's or Pam's."
Harley did a slow spin, her head tilting back of its own accord, eyes climbing to the grand, vaulted ceiling.
"Sweet digs, huh?" Dick was grinning beside her.
"Yeah," Harley nearly whispered as she attempted to take it all in. "I hope we get snowed in and have to stay here forever."
"We wouldn't survive long in that fantasy; the fridge and pantry are only stocked with a weekend's worth of supplies."
The front door had opened halfway through Harley's wishful thinking, Pam striding in with Selina and Talia in tow.
"Sorry, Harl, you're dating Debbie Downer, in case you just now realized," Selina chided, kicking the snow off her boots before she stepped inside, Talia quietly stepping back outside to do the same. "Oh, hey, Diana? Do you think you could help us with our bags? Talia decided to lift an SUV without a power liftgate and I'm afraid the gods didn't sculpt me in Athena's image."
"Of course," Diana chuckled, collecting the keys from Pam.
"When you said your 'Gotham friends' I didn't expect to be vacationing with the cast of Gossip Girl," Lois told Clark from where she'd been studying the Wayne family photographs that decorated the mantel.
"I would have gone with a less dated reference, but hey! I'm so glad you guys made it!" Selina exclaimed. "Sorry to spoil the surprise, Bruce, but we had to stop and pick up—,"
"Mera!" Diana's voice carried back through the open door.
"…yeah, her," Selina trying desperately to contain her smile to just a smirk, but it was a losing battle. "You must be Lois."
"In the flesh. Selina, I presume?"
"Fortunately. Lois, this is Talia, we'd prefer she not be here, and Pamela—but we only call her that when she's in trouble."
"Yes, I know you," Lois' eyes, a unique, almost purple shade of blue, were on Pam now, her gaze somehow both bright and jaded. "I interviewed you after you won state."
Harley watched a spark of recognition flicker in Pam's expression, her body relaxing slightly when she realized the stranger in the room was not, in fact, a stranger. "Oh right, yes, I enjoyed your piece very much, actually. It's probably the most thorough reporting I've seen regarding my tennis career. And you're—are you with Clark?"
"Yes, you'll have to find a different prom date," Lois joked.
"That's OK, she's already got one," Harley grinned, crossing the room and taking Pam's hand, feeling like they'd spent way too much time apart. "I can't believe you made it out here in one piece," she giggled, kissing Pam on the cheek, feeling exceptionally proud that, out of all of these very smart and attractive people, this one was hers.
"Selina, I cannot believe you got her a plane from Greece!" Diana had returned, Mera by their side, both their faces flushed from excitement, the cold, and exertion, if Harley had to guess.
"And I can't believe you actually made us bring your bags in," Mera laughed, too happy to actually be salty about it as she set the two suitcases she was carrying down in the foyer.
"Mera, this is Lois and Clark from the cleaner, classier big city known as Metropolis. Lois, Clark, this is Mera, Diana's sunkissed college girlfriend who's only 19 so we've decided it's not weird," Selina made the final introductions. "So," she placed her hands on her hips. "Harley? Thoughts?"
"About what?" She was supposed to have thoughts about something?
"The house."
Oh, whew. "Oh my God Selina that wall is literally just one big window!"
/
Talia sat, semi-awkwardly, on the outskirts of the conversation, trying not to be bothered by how easily these Lois and Mera girls seemed to be assimilating into a group dynamic that was so strained for her.
So far, Lois reminded Talia a lot of Selina, although there was more genuine interest in her questions. Her attention was intense, and so Talia was glad she'd, for the moment, at least, been spared any individual focus. She supposed that was a bonus of standing on the outskirts, as a Selina whose transparent aim was to gain knowledge rather than simply destroy was, for some reason, an unsettling concept to Talia.
Mera, the other red meat (Talia wondered idly if Selina would have laughed if she'd made that joke aloud), was bold and confident—a powerful presence who refused to relinquish any space. Her smile was bright and genuine, not pristine and practiced like Pamela's. According to Mera, her self-understanding and acceptance had come with age. Maybe Pam would achieve that someday…but Talia doubted it. Pam's unkindness was rooted deeper than her self-hatred…as far as Talia could tell.
…not that she really gave a shit about Pam Isley and her glaring personality flaws.
Harley was being more clingy than usual with Pam and asserting herself like she'd been designated peacemaker into every potential conflict, between Bruce and Selina especially, which was quickly becoming annoying. And Talia rarely found herself legitimately annoyed by Harley.
They were all sitting around the grand dining room table now, snacking on the charcuterie board that had been waiting for them in the refrigerator. There were a few different conversations happening all at once, but because Talia wasn't actually listening, when she spoke—suddenly—it interrupted all of them.
"Can we discuss the sleeping arrangements?"
Selina stopped whatever she was saying to Dick mid-sentence, turning to Talia, one eyebrow raised in her direction. "Can you calm down, actually?"
Talia wasn't sure how loud her question had been, but she pushed through her pang of embarrassment and double down. "I'd like to put my bag away. Who will I—I mean where will I be sleeping?"
"I'm sleeping with Pam," Harley established out the gate, looking every bit as in love as she claimed to be, her statement causing the redhead sitting beside her to blush.
Selina rolled her eyes. "We know, Harley. And Diana and Mera, and Lois and Clark, and me and B—," she stopped, realizing her mistake a letter too late.
Bruce shifted uncomfortably as the whole table glanced in his direction. "I'll room with Dick," was his decision, subverting the deeper conversation, which Talia supposed she could count as a victory in her favor.
Another silence befell the table…and that's when Talia put two and two together, Selina seeming to do the same. "No," they said in unison.
"And they were roommates!" Harley gasped.
"Shut up, Harley," Talia snapped.
…she hadn't meant that.
Pamela's posture stiffened then, her jaw tightening. "I'd suggest you re-think that little outburst."
Talia cleared her throat, feeling the weight of the table's judgement.
"I call top…bunk," Selina broke the silence with a joke, sending an aggressively facetious wink in Talia's direction.
I shouldn't have come here…
Lois was glancing between the two girls, obviously fascinated with their predicament, but it was Mera who spoke next.
"I ship it."
"It's the homoerotic struggle for power and control for me," Pam added, relaxing back into her chair, her arm dropping around Harley's shoulders.
"OK, no more Tik Tok for you," Selina decided, standing up. "Should we start drinking?"
/
Harley's hands were on Pam's shoulders as soon as they had the door shut behind them, spinning her around, lips crashing together as she nearly shoved her backwards onto the plush queen-sized bed and crawled on top of her.
Pam's body seemed to react of its own accord, one hand fisting in Harley's hair, the other grabbing at her ass, pulling her flush between her legs…before she thought better of it. "Wait, H—Harley, wait," she tore her lips away, breathing already labored.
"What?" Harley asked, without stopping, trailing her kisses, warm and wet, across Pam's jaw…down her neck…
"It's the middle of the day and Selina and Talia are in the next room."
"I definitely don't care," Harley told her with a laugh that was almost mean spirited as she yanked on Pam's belt, trying to undo the button fly on her jeans with one hand.
"Harley, we—," Pam reached down to help her despite her protests. "We just got here. We'll have plenty of time for—,"
"Oh my god, who knows what we'll have time for, Red—yes!" Harley celebrated the button's defeat. "You expect me to not wanna hook up after learnin' you're the designed four-wheel-drive girl?"
"What?" Now it was Pam's turn to laugh, propping herself up on her elbows. "Anyone can drive in four-wheel-drive, Harl. It's literally just a knob you turn."
"Can ya try not to cock block yourself here, please?"
Pam flopped backwards, closing her eyes to take a deep breath. "Alright, fine." She reached up, unbuttoning Harley's flannel (against her better judgment). "But we have to be quick…and quiet."
"That's up to you, babe," Harley grinned, something nearly feral in her expression. "Let's see how you do."
/
"You didn't seem that bothered."
"By what?"
"By having to share a room with me."
"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart."
"Just an observation."
"Al Pacino recommended I keep my friends close and my enemies closer," Selina explained, dropping her suitcase on the twin bed closer to the window. "This is all part of my master plan, you see."
Talia crossed her arms, desperate to play it cool, evidently. "Please, elaborate."
"I'm afraid we haven't reached the end of my villain arc, yet, so…I can't just…elaborate. It's against the rules."
"What he sees in you, I have no idea."
"What do you see in him, Talia?" Selina challenged.
"I'm not having this conversation with—,"
"Ah!"
Selina watched as Talia cleared her throat, gathering herself after the interruption that had come, muffled through the wall.
"It's absolutely none of your business what I—,"
"Fuck! Harley!"
Talia blushed…which Selina would have found funny had her own ears and cheeks not been so hot.
"Harley, Harley—uh—mm!"
She wasn't quite sure how to proceed, other than to say, "Now you get why they couldn't be in a car together."
"No, I…understood before the, um—,"
"Ah!"
"—auditory demonstration."
Selina laughed at that despite herself, the sudden knot in her stomach subtly loosening. "I just want to say, for the record…there's no way Harley's that good."
"I don't know," Talia smirked, the expression for some reason surprising Selina. "She is the best high school gymnast in the country, remember?"
"Right." Selina thought back to the first time she'd made Pam moan. The memory returning—unbidden—that small, involuntary whimper she'd inspired with barely a touch… "Pam's easy to please," she wasn't sure why she'd said that out loud.
…and by the look Talia gave her in response, it was clear she didn't either. "I'll take your word for it."
/
"—but the house has central heating."
"Yes."
"And the fireplace is electric."
"Well, it has an electric starter."
"Ah," Lois nodded, seeming to understand now…until she didn't. "You're telling me whoever's in charge of the estate prepared a charcuterie board but neglected firewood?"
"No, there's a whole shed out there full of firewood. They just…need to be men, it would seem," Diana explained, sipping on her tea as she and Lois stood at the big picture window, watching Bruce, Clark and Dick take turns with the axe on the snow-covered front lawn.
"Idiots," Lois chuckled. "I'm serious when I say I didn't expect Clark's friends to be like this."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know Clark, he's…the salt of the earth. He's from Kansas, for God's sake. His best friend from out of town being the heir to the Wayne family fortune is…a little off brand, don't you think?" Lois wondered, though Diana knew the question was rhetorical, as Lois didn't seem to ask questions until she was sure of the answer.
"Oh, we all find each other for different reasons," Diana smiled, chuckling when Bruce crossed his arms in what could almost be described as a pout after Clark cracked his log in half with one swing. "Bruce chooses his people very carefully…it's a great honor to be trusted by him, I know Clark understands that."
"And how did you two meet?"
"Bruce and I?"
"Yes."
"My parents were diplomats, we never stayed in one place long…before Gotham."
"How unfortunate."
"Truly," Diana laughed. "And now I have two families—one at home, and one here with them."
"I'm sure both are uniquely dysfunctional."
Diana nodded as she finished her tea. "And what about you?"
"Mm, I ask the questions here, Ms. Prince."
"Why's that?"
"No fun being marooned with a group of strangers," Lois finally pulled her attention away from the boys, glancing up at Diana. "I have some catching up to do."
"OK, I'm definitely ready for alcohol now."
Diana and Lois turned to find Selina kneeling behind them in the kitchen, already picking the lock on Mr. Wayne's mini bar while Talia stood, staring at nothing, near the refrigerator.
"Where have you two been? And where are Pam and Harley?"
"Don't worry about it," Selina answered for both of them, apparently a universal explanation as the lock unclasped beneath her fingertips.
