The shot opened on Freakazoid standing on a set. In the background, most of our cast were sitting at a phone bank answering calls, a burgundy curtain behind them.

Freakazoid: "Hi there, folks! I know what you're thinking-the hilarious, yet action-packed story you're currently reading, interrupted? By a pledge drive? Those boring things? Well, don't get me wrong, I'm not too fond of them myself, but it's all for a good cause! 90% of the money raised here goes to public broadcasting! With your support, public television brings you a wide variety of entertaining programs! Like 'Masterpiece Mystery: The Cornetto Criminologists', starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost; Ken Burns's 'Paddleball', a 127-part documentary; and for you kids who are avid watchers of educational programming, 'The Baloney the Dinosaur Show'! There's a number of ways that viewers like you can contribute! You can fill out the section on your tax form for multiple deductions, or sign over your IRA. Of course, there's always making the one-time contribution of $50, which gets you a free 'Super-Wackos of EVA: NERV Freaks Out' tote bag and drawstring backpack set! Or, for doubling your contribution, we'll throw in a copy of the 'NERV Freaks Out' DVD/Blu-Ray combo pack too!"

The shot then focused on a few random characters as they answered the ringing phones.

Shinji: "H-Hello, thanks for calling, how much would you like to pledge today?"

Asuka: "Yello, what's your pledge?...You call that a pledge?! Open your wallet a bit, why don't ya?!" [Asuka then slammed the phone back onto the receiver.] "Lousy cheapskate..."

Shigeru: "What's up? Care to make a pledge?" [Shigeru's eyes then widened a bit in surprise when he learned just who was on the other line. He then replied in a slight whisper.] "Mom, will you stop that? My rep's already takin' a hit because of this!"

Freakazette: "Hiya-hiya-hiya! How much are we pledging today?...Why yes, ma'am, the tote bag comes free with the pledge...Uh, I'm not sure if it comes in green..."

Fuyutsuki: "Hello, yes? Will you be making a pledge today?...Yes sir, we do take most major credit cards...I'm sorry sir, but personal checks are strictly prohibited..."

Freakazoid then popped up in front of the camera again.

Freakazoid: "So don't wait, don't hesitate! Call the number on your screen here-that's 1-888-PBS-JOKE; again, 1-888-PBS-JOKE. Our operators, as you can see here, are standing by, ready to take your calls! Make your contribution today!"

Announcer: "The preceding bit was brought to you, in part, by the fine people in public broadcasting, and by contributions from viewers like you. Thank you. And now, on with our story!"

Episode 37 - The One for Which We Couldn't Come Up with a Clever Title

Misato, Ritsuko, Maya and Makoto were carpooling into work today, as it were. The four were currently in the Major's Alpine-Renault as it was brought further into the Geofront via conveyor track. Thanks to the bug jammers installed in her car by Kaji, and with the background noise of the conveyor at work, it enabled the quartet to speak freely. The subject of their current conversation?

"So the Seventh Child's arrived," Makoto stated.

"What do we know?" Misato asked.

"His name's Kaworu Nagisa," Maya replied. "From what Hyuga and I have been able to dredge up, any records concerning his past were erased."

"Just like Rei..." Ritsuko quietly noted.

"One detail that does stick out?" Makoto started to say. "His birthday's the date of Second Impact. Coincidence? Don't think so."

"And according to my mother, him being sent here wasn't entirely by design," Ritsuko added. "She and R.O.D.D.Y. believe that a small number of the Committee's members are still loyal to Kihl's vision and smuggled Kaworu over here so he could make it a reality."

"Looks like they're not so happy with the current management, are they?" Misato mused.

"I also have a copy of Kaworu's Marduk Report," Ritsuko continued. "Any matter pertaining to him is also labeled strictly confidential. But my mother did throw something my way that might just confirm our worst fears."

"We'll have to cover that later," Misato said, as the conveyor delivered the car closer and closer to their destination. "We've still got his sync test to oversee, and we can't arouse any suspicion. Besides, this'll give us a good idea of what he's capable of."

The testing lab, minutes later...

The four pilots were all sitting in their test plugs, concentrating as their sync rates were measured. Kaworu, as the new guy, had a test plug quickly set up for himself and was doing his part as well, clad in a plugsuit similar to Toji's save for the lighter shade. When it came to his numbers, a number of the staff were a bit surprised by what they were reading.

"Are these readouts accurate?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"All instruments are operating normally, sir," Makoto reported in response.

"No errors found by the MAGI, either," Maya added.

"I see," Fuyutsuki replied. "Even if these are just simulations of each Evangelion's core configuration, it's astonishing that this boy can sync perfectly with every one of them."

"I know what you mean, sir," Maya concurred, "what he's doing should be totally impossible."

"Still, he's somehow doing this," Misato chimed in. "That's the fact, we just need to figure out the how and why."

Minutes later, the tests had finished and the pilots all left the locker rooms to head out for the rest of the day. Ahead of her friends, Rei found herself face-to-face with Kaworu.

"Ah, Rei Ayanami, the First Child, I presume?" Kaworu asked. "We never did have the chance to properly meet at school yesterday."

Rei said nothing, merely staring at Kaworu with a blank expression.

"You're the same as me," the newly-minted Seventh Child said.

This time, Rei responded with a mild glare.

"...Is that supposed to be a 'pick-up' line?" Rei asked.

Hearing this confused Kaworu. "I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the term," he replied. "What I mean is, we both have taken on the form of the Lilim while we exist on this planet."

Rei, still giving him a mild glare, did not take the bait. "I do not know what you are talking about," she said, feigning ignorance. This only served to confuse Kaworu further. The encounter between those two did not go unnoticed as Gendo and Fuyutsuki observed their interaction via one of the security cameras.

"It appears the Seventh Child's made contact with Rei," Fuyutsuki noted.

"So I see," Gendo noted, sitting in his usual pose. "It would appear that a few among the Committee haven't entirely taken to Gutierrez's way of doing things and seek to follow Kihl's scenario, hence the boy's appearance on our doorstep."

Fuyutsuki nodded. "Currently, the MAGI is pouring all its energy and resources into analyzing his data," the former professor stated. "We'll hopefully get the results by tomorrow."

A meeting of the SEELE council, around the same time...

Armando Gutierrez did not look pleased. And thanks to his policy of 'no avatars', all the Committee members could see it right in his face, just as he could see their nervous, pensive faces in return.

"Gentlemen," he began to say, "it would appear that there is some...dissent among our ranks." He eyed, in particular, SEELE-02, 05, and 07, the Russian, Chinese, and American representatives, respectively.

"What are you implying?" SEELE-02 asked.

"I am implying," Gutierrez replied, "that the Nagisa boy-whose true nature I am very much aware of-was smuggled out of the Berlin NERV facility and is now in Japan, passing himself off as the newest back-up Evangelion pilot. I am also implying that you three had a hand in seeing to his arrival in that part of the world. All of which after I deliberately declared that the Human Instrumentality Project was to be permanently discontinued."

SEELE-02, 05 and 07 swallowed nervously.

"Just what proof do you have?" SEELE-07 asked.

Gutierrez, at that question, minced no words. "Each of you, like the others here, has become very good at covering your tracks over the years in order to maintain the secrecy of this organization," the supervillain said. "Unfortunately, some are not as good as others." He then smiled a sinister smile. "It was brought to my attention that you three recently pooled together a large amount of your personal air miles to offset the cost of a plane flight for a specific passenger, who I am assuming is the Nagisa boy."

The other Committee members looked at 02, 05, and 07 with great surprise, while the trio began to sweat profusely.

"I am afraid I will have to make an example of you three," Gutierrez stated. "Normally, I would personally squeeze each of you, and keep on squeezing each of you, until all your man juices run dry. But, I will not. Be grateful that your punishment will not be as severe as you think it is." He then held up a remote. "You'll recall that you each had cleaning crews going over your respective offices a week or so ago, correct?"

The trio nervously nodded 'yes'.

"Those cleaning crews were sent by me, with an additional task: to install hyper-speed capsule chutes. Each one located directly under where you currently sit. Each one designed to take you to where you shall receive your punishment. So for now, enjoy your trip...to the Lounge of Terror!" Gutierrez then pressed the button, and soon the images of the trio all vanished while the three men screamed with surprise. At great speeds, their capsules carried each of them through a network of covertly-built tubes running underground, until they were deposited in a strange room that resembled a typical old-school nightclub/lounge setting. The three men looked at each other, confused by their current surroundings. They were then brought out of their confused state when a spotlight shone on the stage in the center, as a platform rose from below to deposit a figure in front of the mic stand. The figure in question resembled a certain classic comedian known to partner with a famous crooner, and was wearing a powder blue tuxedo. As soon as the music started up, the man began to dance-and sing-quite badly.

Man:

Oooooh, LAY-DEE!

I know a lady,

with high heel shoes,

and socks and pantyhose,

oh pretty LAY-DEEEEE!

The eyes of the three SEELE council members went wide with fright as they then screamed in horror.

Rei's apartment, that evening...

Shinji and Asuka were hanging out with Rei at her place. They were there to discuss the First Child's impressions of the new pilot, and to confirm their suspicions of him.

"So you really think he's what we think he is?" Asuka asked.

Rei nodded. "I could sense the familiar aura about him, as well as the specific wavelength of his AT-Field," the bluenette replied. "There is no doubt about it-Nagisa is a hybrid like myself, though he is of Adam whereas I am of Lilith."

"But that's not all there is to him, is there?" Shinji asked in turn.

"Correct," Rei answered as she stroked Kablooie, who was laying on his back in her lap, reveling in the attention he was getting. "The light of his soul gave me all I needed to know. He holds the very soul of Adam, the First Angel. It can only mean that Nagisa is the 17th Angel."

Both Shinji and Asuka's eyes widened with shock upon hearing this.

"Schnike..." Asuka uttered.

"What do we do?" Shinji pondered. "We can't let him know that we know yet. And so far he hasn't made any attempt to get into Terminal Dogma."

Asuka then gave it some thought for a bit before coming up with a suggestion. "Let's try and keep him occupied for a while, take him through the city, show him the sights. Maybe we can coax some SEELE secrets out of him if we're clever enough."

"It is certainly worth a try," Rei concurred. "If he is anything like I was before, he will find a lot of aspects of human culture quite strange, which should engage his curiosity long enough for us to come up with a plan to deal with him."

Shinji and Asuka nodded in affirmation. The former then caught sight of Rei's wall clock.

"Right now, I think it's time I got dinner started," Shinji said. "Hope you two like the sound of homemade pizza. I've always wanted to try my hand at it."

"Heh, oh don't you worry," Asuka started to say. "At this point, the way you cook, I have every confidence you'll blow our minds, and our taste buds, sky high."

"I second that opinion," Rei added.

To be continued...

**Author's Note(s)**

Another bit of filler, my apologies. But not to worry-the action (and the funny) return next chapter!

The opener with the pledge drive is my little shout-out to PBS on their 50th anniversary this year. Like many of you, PBS definitely left a mark on me in my early years.

Gutierrez's squeezing threat is lifted from the Freakazoid, season one finale "The Wrath of Gutierrez". The punishment he inflicts on the three SEELE members is inspired by King Salazar's method of torture that he employed in the 1999 Animaniacs feature film Wakko's Wish. The method in question utilizes Paul Rugg's Mr. Director character, a full-on caricature of the comedy legend Jerry Lewis.

Tune in next time, where we see the return of another little-seen Animaniacs character as well as the final confrontation with Kaworu, in a way you wouldn't expect, AND involving a Freakazoid villain I hadn't touched...Till now...