A/N
Last one for today!
—-
When Edward rolls to a stop outside my house, it looks vacant. Silently, our attention is drawn towards the dark windows.
"He must have left again," I observe flatly. Edward turns to look at me, so many questions he doesn't know how to ask. I shrug, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. There's no point.
"Has he always done that?"
"What?" I ask, my eyes never leaving the house.
"Left you alone."
Nodding, I look at him, rolling my eyes when I see the pitiful look on his face. "It's fine. I'm fine." I'm being dismissive, I know that, but it's not something I enjoy talking about.
"It's not fine," he scolds gently. "It's bullshit."
Frustrated, I open the door. "Hey, at least he hasn't killed me."
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Edward watches me, his eyes turning cold. Opening my mouth, I try to apologise but he brushes me off with a wave of his hand.
"I'm so —Edward, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."
He nods, but turns away from me, starting the engine again. "Don't worry about it. It's the truth." He sighs, "there's always a bright side." His voice betrays him, strained and detached.
"I shouldn't have thrown that in your face, I … I got defensive and that was harsh. Will you look at me?"
He doesn't.
"I'm sorry," I offer again. "Dinner was so great and … I ruined it."
Turning his face a little in my direction, he doesn't look at me. "I'll see you at school," he dismisses.
"Okay," I whisper. "I really am–"
"Don't apologise again."
Nodding, I get out of the car, hovering a little, really not wanting to leave our evening on this note.
"Goodnight," I whimper, closing the door and walking slowly towards the cold, dark house that awaits me. Empty.
I wish I could just … talk about it. I hate that I can't. I hate that my instinct is to deflect at the expense of other's and their feelings. It makes me feel like shit, which is new. I've never felt bad about it before —it's a defence mechanism.
I hear his car move, listening to the low rumble of the engine as he leaves.
"Fucking idiot," I chastise myself as I open the door.
Sitting on the sofa, I huff out a breath and throw my head back, glad Charlie isn't here to witness my meltdown.
I think back to dinner, the smiles we shared. The laughs when I decided against ordering fries, only to steal half of his. The way his hair glowed under the lights, showing all its glorious warm tones. It was a date. The best date I've ever had.
And I ruined it.
He was the perfect gentleman —never touching me, his flirting carefree and effortless. So different to the Edward I've come to know —the Edward who hurts me.
This time, I hurt him, and I'm not sure how to fix it. But I need to.
—-
A/N
Ooft, Bella!
Thanks for reading!
