Chapter 70: Oh Come After School & Catch Me
"December 15, 2010
It's been a while since I made an entry, but there wasn't much going on to write about, so catching you up should be easy.
Jeremy was only at Matt's for a few days, before he suggested taking Matt out of Mystic Falls entirely, to our family's lake house. I guess Matt's hatred of vampires was strong enough to warrant him leaving town. Then again, our town is filled with vampires, nearly everywhere you look.
When it became clear that just talking to Matt and trying to convince him that we weren't evil wasn't working, Bonnie made the suggestion to use Professor Shane. He'd been helping her so much with her magic, and he already knew a fair bit about these Hunters of the Five, so what harm could it do?
Damon didn't trust it one bit, and when arguing against it didn't get his way, he left for the lake house to keep an eye on Shane. He said it was also to be a test dummy for Matt's Hunter side, to make sure Shane's methods were working; but we all think – we all know – that it was a convenient excuse to get away from Mystic Falls for a while. The news of my sirebond to Elijah, and the reason why I was sired was just too much for him.
Today, it's been a little over two weeks, since Matt's been at the lake house? Shane says it's time to test his progress, but with a vampire he doesn't already hate. To make sure he's on the right track, he needs me, someone who Matt has a strong positive connection with.
I have to admit, I'm nervous. But Elena and Hayley are coming with me. Elijah wanted to come, too, but I wouldn't let him. Having that many vampires around isn't going to help Matt at all. I just hope that I can."
Elena had had something on her mind nearly the entire drive up to the lake house, and Phoebe could tell. But she didn't say what, until they were getting their bags out of the trunk.
"So, when are you going to move back home?" she asked. "Your bloodlust is under control, you can eat from blood bags now; Jeremy's not there anymore, which makes me the only human in the house, and Jenna and Hayley are there to help stop you, if you needed. And then there's always the sirebond. Elijah could use it to keep you from hurting any of us."
Phoebe hesitated to answer. "…I can't. Not yet."
Elena looked at Hayley. "I told you, you should've been the one to ask. She likes you better."
"That's not true," said Phoebe, looking between the two.
"It's a little true," said Hayley.
"Look, it has nothing to do with liking someone better that someone else. I'm just not ready to come back yet."
"Well, it has a little to do with liking someone more," said Hayley. She gave Phoebe a knowing look.
"I'm not having this conversation." Phoebe closed the trunk and started walking towards the house.
Elena had invited Phoebe into the lake house, before arriving, which made it appear more normal for Matt, when she entered just like any other human. But once Matt felt her guard was down, he attacked her. She defended herself without hurting him, but this was still a problem.
Another problem was when Phoebe had tried talking to Matt, while Shane had him hypnotized. She was supposed to be his anchor to his humanity, but even his hypnotic state wanted nothing more than to stake her through the heart.
After their failed attempt, Shane suggested they take a break. Phoebe sat alone on the dock, until Hayley and Elena joined her.
"Elijah's not keeping me there," said Phoebe. "I could leave if I wanted to."
"So why don't you?" Elena asked.
"Part of me does. But there's also this part of me that feels sick at the thought. I don't know if that's the sirebond, or nerves, or something else entirely; but it's that feeling that keeps me there."
"Well, that was a bust," said Damon, swaggering over. "I hate to say 'I told you so', but…I told you so."
Damon had been keeping an ear out from outside, where he'd been since he got there. Jeremy had refused to invite him, and not just because he didn't like Damon. It was also counterproductive to Matt's reprogramming to have the vampire who'd killed his sister living in the same house. It was bad enough having him lurking around outside.
Elena rolled her eyes. "It has to work. I will work."
"Not by having a vampire as his humanity anchor," said Damon.
In a flash, Phoebe was in his face. "Well, guess what, Damon, there is no one else! All Matt's ever had is me and Vicki, and you took Vicki away from him! So that just leaves me."
Damon was in shock at her outburst. He tried to call after her, as she walked away from them, but Hayley stopped him.
"Let her go," she said. "It isn't you, you're just easy to blame right now. But she does need this to work, Damon. She can't lose Matt."
An idea came to Elena's mind. If Matt couldn't have Vicki to attach to, then why not someone else who loved her just as much? She posed the idea to Shane and Jeremy, and both agreed it was worth a shot.
It was weird for them all, Jeremy mostly, but if it worked, then who were they to question it? And, surprisingly, it did work. Matt was able to put down his stake, and fight the urge to hurt his best friend. It was the best Christmas present Phoebe could ask for.
Later that evening, while the others celebrated, Phoebe brought a drink out to Damon.
"I'm sorry for my behavior earlier," she said. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
Damon shrugged it off. "Don't worry about it. You're an empath with heightened vampire emotions. Emotional outbursts are bound to happen."
Phoebe smiled. She was glad he wasn't being petty about it.
"So this sirebond thing…" Damon looked into her eyes. "Is it true?"
"Am I sired to Elijah? Yes. Is it because I was in love with him, before I died? Yes."
"How long? How long were you…?"
"Damon, we don't have to talk about this," she said.
"I wanna talk about this. I need to talk about this," he said.
Phoebe wanted to lie to him, to make him feel better. But he was looking for the truth, and she owed him that.
"Since I met him. Since Trevor and Rose kidnapped me to trade me to him."
Damon nodded and knocked back the rest of his drink. "I knew you never forgave me. For kissing Katherine and killing Jeremy."
Phoebe wanted to tell him that it wasn't true. She wanted to tell him a specific moment that had made her fall out of love with him; but there wasn't one. "That night did damage our relationship. I was angry with you for what you did, and I was angry with myself for still loving a man who had nearly killed my brother. But that wasn't the end of us, that was the beginning of the end."
Damon looked confused. Why did everything have to be so fine-tuned and complicated with her?
"You kissing Katherine and killing Jeremy didn't make me stop loving you, but it did open the door enough for me to see Elijah, and become interested enough to open it more. That was also the night you admitted that you loved me, while you thought I was asleep, and then pushed me away because you thought I was becoming Katherine."
Damon kicked himself mentally. He wished he'd never compared her to Katherine. He wished he'd just had enough faith in her to remain the good and pure-hearted Phoebe she'd always been.
"From that day on, it was just a bigger and bigger divide growing between us. You let Katherine get inside of your head, and you really believed her when she said that Stefan was in love with me. You let your jealousy and possessive nature influence your actions, and you started treating me like an object for you to keep and never share."
Phoebe could see that this was all more than Damon had wanted to hear, but she couldn't stop now. "Elijah respected me, and treated me as an equal. Hell, even my own father put aside his hatred of vampires to spare you, Stefan, and Anna; but you couldn't respect me enough to do the same for anyone I asked you not to hurt."
"If I was so awful, then why go out with me? If you knew it was over before it began, then why bother?" Damon asked.
"Because I didn't know it at the time," she answered honestly. In truth, she hadn't realized that she didn't love Damon anymore, until the night Stefan had threatened to drive her off Wickery Bridge.
Klaus had known it was some sort of plan that Phoebe and Stefan were working on together, but he still went to her to ask how she was. Meanwhile, Damon was busy pouting that they'd left him out of the loop.
And when Klaus had kissed her…she'd wanted to go on kissing him, but she knew it was wrong and unfair to Damon. She didn't immediately push him away out of instinctual loyalty to Damon. She didn't recoil because she loved Damon. That was when she knew she didn't love Damon anymore.
Phoebe had to keep him from asking about what moment she'd realized it was over. Not just because she didn't want to lie to him, or that the truth would be the tipping point that killed him (she'd fallen for Elijah while still building something with him, and now kissing another man she was falling for, while actually dating Damon?); but because if she did lie about it, he'd know and press for the truth, or at least assume something much worse.
"I knew I loved Elijah at that time, but I didn't-"
"So, what, you left him in a coffin for six months until you could say 'Well, we gave it a fair chance, Damon, but it just isn't working'?"
"I left him in a coffin, because there wasn't a way for me to undagger him, until the time I actually did," said Phoebe. "In case you've forgotten, I was dying, Damon. I didn't have the strength to fight off Klaus or Stefan and a group of witch spirits to be able to get to him."
Damon looked like he had just swallowed a mouthful of vervain.
Phoebe shifted gears to be gentler. "Do you remember the second time we met? When we were talking about relationships?"
Damon thought back to that conversation.
"You say that like every relationship is doomed to end."
Damon smirked, "I'm a fatalist."
"Not every relationship ends permanently. Sure, some hit a bump in the road, but when it's worth it they work together to get over that bump."
"True, but some roads just come to an end," replied Damon.
"Then you get out and walk. The end of the road just means you've reached the end of the predictability part of the relationship. You can either go in different directions and find new roads, or go on an adventure together. Most people just prefer the predictability of the road, which is why so many people just move onto new roads. But there are those that prefer the excitement of the unpredictable. The path where the only constant or sure thing is that you're together," elaborated Phoebe.
"Aren't we the optimistic romantic," said Damon, impressed and somewhat amused.
"No, that's my sister. I'm a realist."
"Coulda fooled me," he grinned.
"Our road ended, Damon," said Phoebe.
"Yeah," he agreed. "But I thought we were going to go on that adventure together. Guess I was wrong."
Damon heard all he could bare to hear. He stormed off angrily into the night. Phoebe didn't even bother to try stopping him. She didn't get to be the one to stomp on his already broken heart, and be the one to comfort him.
"January 9, 2011
As great as it was for Professor Shane to succeed in helping to reprogram Matt, I can't say the rest of the holidays were any better.
With Matt now a more stable Hunter, Klaus wanted him out there killing vampires and completing his tattoo. The issue was, Matt knew nothing of how to fight vampires, so he needed to be trained. I also told Klaus that, if Matt was going to be out there risking his life to kill vampires, I wanted him to know what it was all for – I wanted them all to know.
There is already so much mistrust between the Mikaelsons and my family and friends that continuing this all in secret or even a need-to-know basis will only lead to bad things. I convinced him it was better to tell them all now, than to wait for them to figure it out. No plotting or scheming against each other, no competing to get to it first, just working together. At least, that's my hope.
Damon, after hearing about the cure, surprisingly stayed at the cabin to help train Matt to kill vampires; but I think that had more to do with staying away from me and distracting himself from having to think about our last conversation, than anything else.
Tyler decided to poke the Big Bad Wolf, and stir up more drama. From what I'm told, he met a stranger online, another wolf who had heard of Tyler and Klaus' ambition to turn every wolf into hybrid slaves. This guy apparently had a family that he wanted to protect, so he convinced Tyler to work together to set a trap for Klaus. Tyler had unsired all the hybrids, like he was meant to; but when it came time for the other guy to hold up his end…In short, Tyler and the other hybrids were lead to the slaughter. Klaus tore them all apart, except for Tyler. For Tyler, he had a far worse punishment in mind.
I can't say I agree with what Klaus did, killing Carol Lockwood, but I can understand it. Being as close as I am with Hayley, I have a better idea than most of what that werewolf temper is like. I know it can take hold in an instant, and make you do things you might later regret.
Elijah left again. This time, though, he didn't take off and leave a note. This time, he sat down and discussed it with me. He told me that I was doing well enough as a vampire and an empath to not need him around so much, right now. More than that, it was best if he did put some space between us for a little while, because of the sirebond.
The sirebond is strongest in the presence of one's sire, so him constantly around makes nearly everything I do not my own decision – or at least he fears. He thinks, hopes, that by giving me some time without him around, I can make my own decisions and really test my abilities to see if I really am in control of myself, and not just obeying my sire. As much as I wanted him to stay, I can't really argue with the man's logic. And to prevent me from seeking him out for every little thing, and to get some true distance, he isn't going to be staying in Reidsville. But he promised to answer the phone whenever I call, whether I need something or just want to hear his voice.
What else was there? Oh yeah, Rebekah! I feel terrible that it took me this long to do it, but I found her body and undaggered her. She was mad at first, but eventually came around to understanding that I had other things going on – transitioning into a vampire, sirebond, learning to control my vampire abilities and hunger, learning to be an empath again, etc.
She was almost as interested in my being sired to Elijah as she was about learning there was a cure for vampirism; though, she wasn't all that surprised that I had loved Elijah enough to be sired to him. Her surprise seemed to be that Elijah was the one absent. She'd have thought his jealousy would have driven him out of town, and I'd be happily ever after with Elijah. Unfortunately, our relationships are all a bit more complicated than that…
Anyway, I finished filling her in on everything she's missed, and told her what I knew about the cure. Matt, Jeremy, and even Damon tried to call me today, while I was talking to Rebekah, but I ignored them. I'd ignored Rebekah for weeks and now was her turn. Besides, they were probably just calling to complain about my sending Klaus there to help speed up Matt's progress. He hasn't killed any vampires since being out there, and everyone's itching for this cure to be found. Frankly, I'm sick of hearing and talking about it, and just want this chapter in our lives to be over with.
Kol also stopped by today. He'd heard about Klaus daggering their sister again so soon, and decided he'd come get his dagger from Klaus, so he couldn't use it on Kol. Since I already gave Elijah and Rebekah theirs, we didn't really question him any further."
"January 17, 2011
It's only been a month since Elijah left, and it seems like drama and chaos hasn't wasted any time kicking into high-gear in his absence.
So, I finally returned Matt's calls. I was right about him calling to complain about me sending Klaus there, but he also wanted to complain about Klaus turning an entire bar of people into vampires for Matt to kill. I don't know if it's my transition, or my eagerness for this whole cure business to be over, or if I've just become that cold; but I don't care. If we're gonna get this thing over with anytime soon, we don't have the time to go around thoroughly investigating to find people evil enough to deserve to die. And I won't let Matt go around hunting every vampire he can find, uncaring if they're like Katherine or like Slater.
Slater…there's a face I haven't thought about in a while. Slater was brilliant, and had the potential to be really good friend. Hell, he probably could have helped us with this cure business. I only met him the once, but I miss him.
Anyway, Matt and Damon sent Jeremy back home, for his own safety, then went to the bar to kill the nest before the sun went down. Problem was, Kol had beaten them to it. He told them that he'd heard me and Rebekah talking about Silas the other day, and couldn't let us resurrect him. Something about meeting a cult of his centuries ago, that told him Silas would destroy everything, and be hell on earth.
Since Kol couldn't kill Matt without suffering the Hunter's Curse, he compelled Damon to do it for him. That was a fun adventure. Damon hunting Matt in the woods, everyone else hunting Damon. We found him in time, though, and brought him to the boarding house dungeon to be kept safely locked up, until we could break Kol's compulsion.
That wasn't the only scary thing Kol did that night…he stole the white oak stake from Klaus, and took off. We don't know where he or the stake are, and that's not a comfortable feeling.
Well, that was Damon, Matt, and Kol's day. As for Shane's day, he was arrested by Sheriff Forbes at the mayor's request. Jenna had finally decided to get the law involved in Shane's sketchy-ness, and she handed them the phone records that Jeremy had found a while back. For some reason, he decided to admit that he had convinced Pastor Young to kill himself and the Council. He said it was part of a large sacrifice to bring back Silas; that Silas would bring them all back to life, when he returned. Sounds crazy, right? Sounds like he should be locked up? Yes and yes, but he wasn't.
Bonnie has become so powerful and unstable, that she's a magical time-bomb waiting to go off. And Shane is the only one who can diffuse her, which grants him immunity.
What else? Oh yeah, while Shane was in custody for the day, Rebekah, Hayley, and I searched his office for Silas' tombstone. Rebekah felt Shane was holding too many of the pieces, and the other pieces (the sword and Hunter) were divided up amongst the Mystic Falls supernaturals, so she wanted something of her own to make sure that her brother didn't dagger her again.
We found the tombstone, so Rebekah is happy. But I don't think I'm going to be happy, until this nonsense is all over. A cure…as if vampirism were a disease in need of curing. When I was human, I was dying, I was sick. For me, vampirism was the cure, not the disease. I hate calling it a cure, and I am so sick of all this fuss over it. If I could go out right now and get it for them, and be done with it, I would. But I can't.
I just hope this is all over soon…"
I know this wasn't the most enthralling chapter, and I do apologize. I'm just so excited to get to the parts of this season that I'm excited to write. That, and the whole build up to the cure, all the backstabbing, etc was just not that interesting to me.
There's a lot that I'm looking forward to this season, and I hope you guys like what I have planned. I know some of you aren't happy that Elijah has left, but it's necessary for the progression of things. I really did consider having him stay, but it just wasn't working the way I wanted it to, so he had to go.
Let me know what you guys think will happen next. Do you think Phoebe will go to the island with them, or will she stay behind? Will Katherine still feed the hunter to Silas, or will Matt stay alive? Will Phoebe care enough to chase down Katherine for the cure? Will Phoebe end up turning off her humanity for some reason? What would Phoebe without emotions be like? Can an empath even turn off their humanity?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts, and I hope you're all having a good start to 2021.
