Chapter 70.

After somehow managing to get lost twice, John and Alan finally made it to Scott's designated rendezvous point. Upon arriving, John's laser-vision immediately took note of three things:

1. The hideous bright yellow bandage encasing Gordon's right arm,

2. The complete lack of blood in Virgil's face,

3. The middle-aged, overly made-up woman who was gazing at Scott like he was some kind of delicious dessert.

"Oh! Are these the two we've been waiting for?" the woman asked, waddling over to pinch Alan's cheeks, "What a sweetheart! Just look at those baby blues…you're going to make some young lady very lucky one day!"

John instinctively sidestepped behind something solid when the woman stood up and latched her bug-like eyes onto him, "Oh, sweet heavens! Someone, fetch my inhaler! I think this strapping young fox here just took my breath away!"

Scott cringed as the woman, who'd introduced herself as Dora 'Dotty' Parsons, smacked John playfully on the arm, oblivious to the redhead's less-than-subtle attempts at evasion, "You naughty old thing! I'm an asthmatic you know, so handsome specimens like you boys are serious health threats to me. In fact, I might just keel over and let you get in some last minute CPR practise before the match starts."

Scott took that as his cue to intervene, "Uh, John, this is Lady Parsons. She's a friend of Lady Penelope's and has kindly agreed to loan us the use of her polo ponies for the match. She's got a string of eight, so we each get two."

Dotty nodded happily, but shifted to a mock pout when she turned towards Gordon, "Such a shame about your arm, dear. Still, we need someone to look after the reserve ponies between chukkas. My groom couldn't attend on such short notice, but you're okay to take her place, aren't you dear? Penelope mentioned that you love animals."

Gordon smiled awkwardly, trying to ignore the way Dotty pursed her lips and batted her false lashes at him, "Sure thing, Lady Parsons. I'm happy to ponysit."

"Excellent!" Dotty gushed, gesturing to the string of immaculate equines with a long pink nail, "Hellfire and Inka are the largest, so I'm assigning them to John here. Virgil honey, you can take Dynamo and Zantor. Darling Scott has already selected Cosmos and Delta, which leaves this adorable little munchkin," she bent to pinch Alan's cheek again, "With Flare and Dala."

Scott cleared his throat, the fakest of fake smiles plastered across his face, "Thank you, Lady Parsons. We really appreciate your generosity. International Rescue is in your debt."

Dotty looked overjoyed and clasped her hands across her heart in mock shock, "Oh my! The great Tracy boys, in debt to little old me? Nonsense, darling! I assure you, repayment is neither needed nor expected."

All five brothers dropped their shoulders in relief…only to re-tense them when Dotty sidled up to Scott and delivered a shameless smack to the eldest brother's backside.

"Of course, I'd never stand in the way of a moral man such as yourself, Mr Tracy," Dotty purred, content to ignore the twenty plus years that separated her from Scott, "If you still feel compelled to offer compensation after the match, then you'd be most welcome to swing by my tent for a glass of champagne after hours. Don't worry, what happens in Dotty's Den stays in Dotty's Den."

A weird noise that sounded like a suppressed gag travelled up Scott's throat.

"That offer applies to all of you, by the way," Dotty carried on, pausing to consider Alan for a moment, "All of you who are over eighteen, at least. I may not be the young filly I once was, but even the best stallions can benefit from running with a seasoned old mare."

Alan felt his cheeks go red hot as Dotty cast her lustful gaze over his brothers, as if at a loss for which one to choose.

A polite intake of breath echoed around the barn as Virgil stepped in front of the mortified Scott, "Dotty, I think I speak for all of my brothers when I say thank you again for your generosity. We will, of course, bear your thoughtful offer in mind, however I think it's likely that we'll all be showering and heading straight to bed after the match. Speaking of which, I think it would be wise for you to head outside and claim your seat. I imagine Lady Penelope will have saved you a spot in the VIP box."

Outside, a bell chime signalled that the match was five minutes from starting.

Dotty tutted and shuffled towards Virgil, her jowly face splitting into a grin, "I could show you a lot in five minutes, Mr Tracy."

Virgil's own look of horror put Scott's to shame.

"I can smell inexperience a mile away," Dotty whispered, her wedding band glittering as she walked her fingers up Virgil's trembling bicep, "I find it an unbearable shame when men as delicious as yourselves lack the rebellious streak that most women crave. Sometimes they need a bit of a jump-start, which is where Daring Dotty and her bra-ful of charms come in…"

With timing that could only be described as perfect, the barn doors suddenly swung open, revealing the angelic form of no one other than the birthday girl herself.

"Scott? Gordon?" Kayo's face was the dictionary definition of confused, "What's taking you guys so long? The other team have already taken to the pitch!"

Dotty's beady eyes narrowed in contempt as she took in her opponent's smooth skin, large eyes and lithe figure encased in a gorgeous aquamarine dress.

Contempt shifted to outright jealousy when Scott broke rank and darted over to Kayo's side.

"Darling!" the eldest gushed, snaking an arm around Kayo's waist and tugging her against his chest, "Where have you been? I've been trying to call you all morning!"

Kayo's eyes widened as she glanced up at Scott in a mixture of bewilderment and uncertainty. When she opened her mouth to demand an explanation, Scott tightened his grip and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

John felt himself age ten years.

He wouldn't be letting Scott forget that one anytime soon…

A dismissive sniff climbed out of Dotty's greasy nose as she switched her crosshairs back onto Virgil. She'd always found Scott to be a bit pretentious for her liking anyway. Malleable men were much more fun.

Like Virgil Tracy, for instance.

Unfortunately, the Tracys appeared to be on the receiving end of a two for one deal in the divine intervention department, as proven when a second figure suddenly appeared in the barn's doorway.

"Boys, this simply won't do!" Penelope snapped, her blue eyes travelling incredulously over the queue of saddleless and bridleless polo ponies, "We've got a crowd of three hundred people outside waiting for you to make an appearance! Gordon? Pass me that saddle cloth, would you? I'll tack all these horses up and hoist you lads onto them myself if I absolutely have to!"

"Darling!" Virgil exclaimed, scooping Penelope into his arms and spinning her round, "Now really, is that how a respectable lady of society addresses her man in public?"

Penelope looked torn between kicking Virgil in the groin and asking to be spun again.

"She likes to play things down," Virgil elaborated, smiling apologetically at Dotty, "My apologies for the confusion. It's actually our ninth anniversary next week."

A tense moment of silence followed, broken only by Kayo's muffled objections as Scott continued to squash her face against his chest.

Penelope may not have had the same level of training as Kayo, but she certainly cottoned on much quicker. One quick look at the way Virgil's irises were darting between her and Dotty was enough for the blond women to put two and two together.

'Aha, Deadeye Dottys gone and set her sights on you lads.'

"Oh, yes," Penelope began haltingly, patting Virgil stiffly on the cheek, "We like to keep our relationship out of the media spotlight. You know how the tabloids like to twist the truth. Why, they falsely reported that me and John were engaged just last week."

The laugh that escaped from Virgil's throat was just a tad too forced and a smidgen too desperate.

Dotty quirked a disbelieving brow. She would never have paired old Penny up with Virgil Tracy of all people. She'd known the other woman for years, and the second brother was most definitely not her type.

Still, she couldn't exactly blame her. It would take some serious head trauma to reject a face as gorgeous as that.

Speaking of gorgeous faces…

"I'm gay," John lied, staring Dotty square in the eye when her predatory gaze flicked over to him.

He was swiftly discarded in favour of Gordon…who apparently had no qualms resorting to the desperatest of desperate measures.

"Darling!" Gordon shrieked, seizing Alan and crushing the youngest in a hug that exceeded the parameters of brotherly intimacy, "I can't keep our love a secret any longer!"

Seven pairs of eyes (including Alan's) nearly fell onto the floor.

"Incestuous shenanigans in International Rescue?" Dotty gasped, pausing to collect herself, "I find that very hard to believe."

"Sorry to disappoint," Gordon replied, smacking Alan on the rump for emphasis, "I'm afraid I just can't get enough of this little spaceman and all two of his chest hairs."

"Hey!" Alan quacked, pivoting to scowl at the aquanaut, "They're blond and hard to see!"

Gordon smiled indulgently, "It's okay Allie, I've got enough for us both."

"Oh, look how red he's gone!" Kayo cooed, her green eyes creasing in amusement.

Dotty meanwhile, looked on the verge of having some kind of tragically lustful meltdown. Eager to capitalise on their growing advantage, Scott re-entered the fray.

"I can still remember when I was pregnant with him," the eldest joked with a mock sigh, biting back a laugh when Dotty's face paled to something beyond white, "They really do grow up so fast. Five minutes ago, he was a tiny blob on an ultrasound. Now, he's a young man in a committed relationship who's almost ready to put down a deposit on a house. Oh boy, I think I might be tearing up!"

Whichever deity that was intervening must have owed the Tracys money, because it was back, but this time, in the form of a grandmother.

A grandmother who valued punctuality above all else.

"Boys!" Sally Tracy thundered, glowering in disgust at the collective lack of progress her grandsons had made in the getting ready department, "They've had to skip to a break because of your tardiness! The other team have already been awarded two bonus points as compensation for waiting, so your chances of winning are now virtually non-existent!"

Dotty eyed the Tracy matriarch warily. After hearing Gordon's 'confession', she couldn't help but wonder if this sweet looking old lady was the madam of International Rescue. Things clearly weren't as normal with the Tracy family as they looked…

Fortunately, Sally had years of experience in deterring unwanted suitors from her boys (who were often too polite to do it themselves), and was well-versed in the language of silent peril.

"Dotty!" Sally exclaimed, scurrying over to envelop the shell-shocked woman in a hug, "Goodness, how are you my dear? I haven't seen you since you invited Jeff to that masquerade ball you hosted back in forty eight."

Dotty frowned and wormed her way out of Sally's embrace, "I've hosted others since then, all of which have been hugely successful. Your son, may he rest in peace, will never know what he missed."

The thinly veiled insult flew over Sally's head like one of Thunderbird One's drones, "Ah well, he was never one for fancy dress anyway. I see you've met my boys? Please excuse their terrible manners! Unfortunately, we have a ban on fraternising at International Rescue. It's a complete breach of professional conduct, plus I've no interest in dealing with paternity lawsuits. It's nothing personal though dear, I'm sure Scott in particular will take his sweet time getting over you."

Dotty was already halfway out the door, one hand gesturing vaguely to her ponies, "Return them to the correctly numbered stables when the match is over please. No need to untack."

With a bang that was louder than necessary, the barn door slammed closed, signalling the departure of Deadeye Dora 'Dotty' Parsons.

Five sets of eyes locked onto Sally with absolute gratitude.

"Thanks Grandma," John puffed, relief coursing through him, "You should get a government grant just for being you."

Sally tittered in amusement, "It was nothing, dear. Now, let's get you boys in the saddle. Gordon, help your brothers as much as you can. I'm going back out to tell the announcer you're on your way. Kayo, Penny, you girls come with me."

The sound of stamping hooves and pattering feet filled the barn as horses and humans set about getting ready.

"Quick question," Virgil wheezed as he heaved a saddle onto Zantor's back, "Has anyone here ever played polo before?"

Gordon shrugged as he secured Inka's bridle, "I've played water polo before. Not sure if that counts…"

Alan gasped in awe.

"No way! Wait…did your horse drown?"