Hey guys, I decided to publish this chapter early 'cause I was impatient as it's one of my favorites as it deals with a lot of the emotional stuff-though there's more of that in the future. So here's one of the more important chapters, I literally spent time planning it from the moment I started writing this fic because it's a pivotal moment for Naruto and Sasuke's relationship (not in a shipper way). I also hope it gives an insight into how Sasuke is thinking-he's dealing with a boatload of trauma that he's never processed and I hope I do that justice in this chapter and he's not out of character-and people will see I definitely was not bashing
Naruto allowed it to get to the day before-or to be more accurate, the evening before the final exam.
She waited until after Kakashi had gotten home and the sky was turning dark to head out, pulling on a jacket to fend off the slight chill in the air.
She headed through the streets of the village quickly, using the rooftops to shorten the journey as she headed into the outskirts of the village towards the gloomy looking collection of buildings, fenced and gated and so very clearly abandoned.
Naruto paused by the gates, staring inside for a long moment before she shoot her head and made her way through the streets of the compound.
It didn't take her long to locate Sasuke's home, it was the only building with lights on, and she hesitated by the door for a long moment before taking a deep breath and walking up to it and knocking loudly.
She could hear footsteps after a minute, and then the door was opening and Sasuke's eyes widened when he saw her.
He went to slam the door on her but Naruto was faster, sticking her foot in the doorway and shoving the door hard, forcing him to stumble backwards, glaring at her.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"We need to talk."
"I don't want to talk." Sasuke glared fiercely. "Or did you not get the message?"
"I don't care what you want right now this is ridiculous! We're teammates you need to at least talk to me-"
"I don't owe you anything." Sasuke snapped, "All you've done is be a pain my my ass and get in my way, since the day I met you all you've done is screw up my life."
"You can't be serious!" Naruto protested desperately, shaking her head, "Sasuke-kun I... I thought we were friends. I thought... we were like a fam-"
"My family is dead." Sasuke spat the words, rushing forward, shoving Naruto hard-and she let it happen-he clearly needed to vent his frustration and she wouldn't let him actually hurt her after all. "My brother murdered my family Naruto! He slaughtered them!"
"I know! I know that Sasuke I've heard the story-"
"No! No you don't!" Sasuke grabbed the neck of her jacket, glaring fiercely at her, "You don't understand you can't understand he killed them! He killed everyone and he left me alive and he-he used his eyes and he made me watch him kill my parents over and over." he was snarling with rage and pain and there were-his eyes were shining with tears Naruto realized.
Had he ever talked about this before? To anyone?
Had he dealt with this alone all this time?
"I can't imagine." Naruto admitted softly, meeting Sasuke's furious gaze, "I can't imagine how much that hurt Sasuke."
"You're not family I don't care about you or Sakura or Kakashi-sensei. I can't."
"Why not? Sasuke I know you were hurt... I know that it was bad, but-"
"Family and friends are a distraction!" Sasuke snapped, "I don't need them. All I need is to get stronger, to kill Itachi for what he did. To get vengeance."
"Will that make you feel better?"
"It'll be justice." Sasuke snarled, "I need to do it to make things right again!"
"Fine! Fine! I'll freaking help you if that's what it takes and I know Sakura will too! You know that we'd help you-"
"All you've done is stand in my way! You're in my way Naruto!"
"Because I stopped Orochimaru from giving you a hickey-"
"Don't say it like that!" Sasuke shook her slightly, "You don't understand anything Naruto! I need to get stronger-"
"If you get stronger with the help from Orochimaru then it'll be borrowed strength with terms and conditions attached." Naruto spat back at him, and this time she was the one doing the pushing, hands on his shoulders and pushing him hard enough that he stumbled backwards, his eyes going wide. "He'll use you up and spit you out! You'll become one of his experiments! Why would you be willing to do that why?"
"I need to get stronger!"
"Then train!" Naruto yelled the words, "Train with Kakashi-sensei, with me and Sakura! We will help you get stronger the right way! We won't turn you into a living lab rat Sasuke." her voice was desperate, "Sasuke-kun you're my friend please... I want to help you. We can train together, we can deal with Itachi together if you want-and-" she saw his expression darkening, "If it has to be you then fine! Fine we'll train until you're strong enough and Sakura-chan and I will just stand back and watch you kick that assholes ass."
"It has to be me! It has to I have to kill him-"
"Fine then! Like I said it can be you!"
"We're not friends I don't have friends." there was something almost frantic about Sasuke's tone when he said that, and Naruto flinched backwards as if he'd slapped her.
"If you don't want friends then fine, just fucking fine but like it or not we're teammates! We're family-"
"No!"
"Why are you so stubborn!"
"Because I can't have friends I can't have family until he's dead!"
"Why? Why Sasuke? Did Itachi tell you that?"
"He told me I had to get stronger! He told me I had the potential to be his match-"
"Why would he even do that?" Naruto demanded, "Why would he give a shit about-it doesn't make sense Sasuke-kun. You're letting him control how you live your life!"
"What am I supposed to do then Naruto?" Sasuke shook his head, "What the fuck am I supposed to do?"
"You live your life for you! Kami Sasuke-kun you're letting him dictate your future why are you giving him so much power? If you let him control you then he wins! Even if you do get strong enough to kill him he'll have won because if your life revolves around him-if it revolves around hate then it's not a life worth living!"
"What would you know?" Sasuke shot back, "You've never hated anyone in your entire life, not really!"
"I hate the man in the mask!" Naruto shot back, "I admit it's nothing compared to what Itachi did to you, but I hate the man in the mask."
"What man?" Sasuke's breathing calmed very slightly, his eyes narrowed.
"I don't know his name, or anything about him other than that he was a Uchiha. I know that he's the one who... well I don't even know exactly what he did but I know someone interfered with my moms seal-she had Kurama inside of her. They interfered with the seal and freed him." that made Sasuke's eyes widen slightly and he stepped back.
"Really?"
"I know that during childbirth the seal weakens. But my dad was a Fuinjutsu master and they had plans in place. It wasn't until after I was born that Kurama was freed." Naruto explained softly, "And the first thing he saw was a man in an orange mask with one eyehole. And the Sharingan. He used the Sharingan to take control of Kurama but my dad showed up and distracted him and Kurama was angry so he attacked the village. That man.. his actions led to so many deaths, to my mom and dads deaths. And I know it's not the same-I was a newborn I don't remember them it doesn't hurt in the way that what Itachi did to you did. But it does hurt to think of how things might have been. To know that that man stole my parents futures along with so many others. So yeah I do hate at least one person and that's the man in the orange mask"
Sasuke stared at Naruto, a stunned look on his face before he looked away, unable to meet her gaze.
"How can you not want to hunt him down and kill him?"
"Because..." Naruto shook her head, "Because I don't want to let him win by becoming the only thing that matters. Oh when the time comes I'm gonna kick his ass, but I won't deprive myself of life and happiness in the meantime Sasuke-kun."
"I don't understand how you can be like that." Sasuke's voice was weak, "I don't-I don't understand how you can just... just keep living despite-"
"Maybe it's because it wasn't traumatic for me like it was for you." Naruto suggested softly, giving a half hearted shrug, "But I feel like he'd win in a sense, if I let him control my life like that."
"I can't be like you I can't." Sasuke shook his head, "Naruto you... you're different." there was respect in Sasuke's gaze and his shoulders slumped, "And you and Sakura need to stay the hell away from me."
"Why? Sasuke we're supposed to be a team. Please please let us be a team-let us be family. Friends. We can get stronger together I promise I'll help you-Orochimaru's all false promises and manipulation you can't trust him."
"Itachi's strong. I... I need something to give me an edge."
"Oh come on Sasuke-kun." Naruto shook her head, "I know he's supposed to be strong but if you get strong enough-"
"I need something to make myself strong enough to kill him. Something extra." Sasuke was shaking his head.
"C'mon Sasuke-kun you're being ridiculous-"
"His Sharingan isn't normal." Sasuke's voice was sharp, suddenly angry again, "It's at a higher level than I can attain I need some extra boost to my strength to even stand a chance against him Naruto I'm not being ridiculous." he looked away, "And I won't get that in normal training-"
"Okay first of all that's bullshit Sasuke! You can get strong enough to beat him normally! Would you honestly rather be a lab rat?"
"It'd be worth it to kill Itachi-"
"And second." Naruto interrupted the older boy with a glare, "Why the hell are you so sure that you'll never be able to get this advanced form of the
Sharingan huh?" she raised an eyebrow, "What's so special about it that you think you'll never be able to get it and you think that it makes him so much more powerful? What?"
"It's none of your business." Sasuke glared.
"I feel like it kind of is since it's making you be a dumbass! I mean seriously you're considering going to Orochimaru for strength! You're convinced that you can't have friends or family you're letting him dictate your entire life!" She was almost shouting "So I want to know why you think we can't be friends I want to know what's so fucking bad about the idea of having a family and friends? Are you scared that somehow you'll become less fixated on it because honestly that'd be a good thing-"
"That's not it!"
"What is it then? C'mon Sasuke for once in your life open up and be honest!" Naruto stepped closer to him and Sasuke stepped back-and there was almost a look of panic on his face as he shook his head.
"It's none of your business it's a Uchiha clan secret-"
"You're the last fucking Uchiha left in Konoha you decide what's a secret or not! So what is it why can't you let people in! What are you so fucking afraid of?"
"Stop it Naruto-"
"No! No I won't stop it! This is gonna kill you Sasuke you'll drive yourself to death with your insane obsession so tell me! Fucking tell me!" this time it was her
grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, shaking him, "Please-"
"Stop-"
"No! No I'm not stopping! You're my friend I care about you too much for that!"
"We're not friends-"
"We are we are friends Sasuke! You're my friend I care about you-"
"Stop it!"
"No! No I'm not gonna stop it I don't want you to destroy your own life I won't let it happen I won't!"
"Please-"
"No! No I'm not stopping." Naruto shook her head, "C'mon! Stop lying and hiding please Sasuke-kun please I'm your friend, you're the closest thing I've ever had to a brother, ple-"
"The Mangekyou Sharingan is only activated when a Uchiha with the Sharingan murders their best friend!" Sasuke screamed the word, and Naruto released him as if she'd been burned, staggering back with wide eyed shock.
"What?"
"Itachi told me." Sasuke's voice was twisted with grief and pain, "He told me if I wanted to kill him I'd have to murder my best friend like he did."
"Sasuke-"
"So yeah, yeah I keep my distance! I don't do friends I don't want to be like him!" Sasuke shook his head, "I will not be like him Naruto and if that means I don't have friends then that's fine-I was stupid letting you and Sakura get so close. Becoming friends with you. I only realized it when Orochimaru showed up and you risked your own life to try and keep me from being stupid. I realized you were my friends and I will not have friends I won't I can't-"
"But..." Naruto shook her head, "Sasuke you... the fact that you're admitting we're friends doesn't mean that you'll end up killing me that'd be a choice!"
"I-I didn't think Itachi would snap like he did either I.. I cannot let there be even the slightest chance that I could do what he did I can't." and suddenly Naruto realized why Sasuke was so determined to pull away from her and Sakura. And she felt her heart breaking for him as the anger drained away, and then she was lunging forward and hugging him, ignoring the way he stiffened.
"I still say you shouldn't live your life based on Itachi's words. You're better than him Sasuke-kun. Worth more than him." she pulled back, giving a weak smile at the stunned look on his face.
Then the stunned look was gone and his expression was worryingly blank, "You need to leave." his voice was very very soft. "Get out. Now. Please."
And Naruto nodded, turning around and leaving, hoping against all hope that maybe, just maybe there was a chance Sasuke would think on what she'd said.
