A/N
Morning!
I forgot to mention after the last chapter that the fabulous Meguhbot was the mastermind between the song that played at the dance —that made Bella think of Edward. Go listen to it, it's awesome!
—
Everything happens so fast.
The cold air as I run from the school, snowflakes large and blinding in my eyes, nose snotty in the chill, cheeks and arms stinging.
There's a cab waiting in the parking lot. I ask no questions, jumping inside and giving the driver my address.
Trees and houses flash, glistening in the darkness, blanketed in snow.
My hair is wet, clinging to my face; cheeks flushed, bitten by winter, warmed by excitement. Running in this direction feels right.
Throwing cash at the driver, I almost fall out of the cab; bypassing my house, heels slipping in the snow, feet numb, vision blurred by the conditions.
I can't feel the cold.
My hands hurt as I ring the doorbell, flexing my fingers a couple of times, trying to ease them, thaw them.
I can hear my teeth as they clatter, unable to feel my lips.
A low mutter of "Jesus" and I'm pulled into the house. Edward coming into focus.
Grey sweatpants, bare feet, a tight black undershirt. Freshly showered.
Before I can say anything, he's pulling me by the hand, guiding me up the staircase.
The hem of my dress is soaked, heavy. I worry about making a mess of the pristine staircase.
Edward doesn't seem to care.
As soon as his door closes behind us, he's on me, hands warming, brushing up and down my arms.
"You stupid girl. What are you doing? You're freezing." His words are softly spoken, nothing about him angry.
"I …" I don't know what I'm trying to say, my breathing staggered. I'm so cold, there's no ignoring it anymore. "I needed to … see you."
Pulling me to him, I put up very little resistance, falling into him.
"We need to get you in the shower, you're freezing."
I nod against his chest, unable to move, breathing him in, fists clenching the shirt at his back.
I feel his lips against my hair.
Wordlessly, he leads me into his bathroom. I watch as he starts the shower and then turns to face me, eyes shining. I love his eyes.
Now that I'm here, I don't know what to say. I didn't plan a speech.
We stand and watch each other, until a large shiver wracks my body, snapping Edward out of his daze. Immediately, he pulls me into the steam clouding the room.
"I'll get you a towel and dry clothes."
I nod, my hands reaching around towards the zip of my dress, fingers so numb I struggle. And then his hands move mine out of the way; warm fingers brushing my bare back as he lowers the zipper.
I'm holding my breath, eyes fluttered closed; his touch tentative, soft, knuckles against my spine -teasing.
He stops, I hold the dress up with my arm against my chest.
"Get warm," he whispers, hot breath against the back of my neck, soft lips where his breath was only seconds before. My heart is in my throat.
I hear the door open and then close, a cool gust of air hitting my back.
Letting the dress drop to my feet, I step out of it, removing my shoes. I'm not wearing underwear.
The water is scalding, a shock to my chilled skin.
Removing the pins from my hair, I shake the ice-water out of my hair.
"I'm not looking." Edward's voice cuts through the steam. I can't help but smile. I turn my head, biting my lip as he places a towel and some clothes on the floor, shielding his eyes.
He is cute, regardless of what he thinks.
"Thank you," I call after him as he closes the door and disappears.
My whole body hums in anticipation as I dry myself off and dress in his clothes, rolling the band of the sweatpants so they fit better.
Edward's sitting on his bed, elbows on his knees.
His head lifts as I exit the bathroom and suddenly, I feel shy. The adrenaline has ebbed and now, it's us. Just us.
"Where are your —Esme and Carlisle?" I ask, correcting myself, unable to move.
"Downstairs," he answers. When my eyebrows raise, he smirks, "they're okay, they won't mind."
I nod and take a tentative step closer, and then another, and another; unable to stay too far away from him.
Sitting straight, his legs part to let me stand between them. He looks up at me, questioning, unsure. I did that to him. He doesn't know what to expect, what I'm going to do, what I want.
When my hands reach his hair, his eyes close. I watch my fingers breeze through the lengthy locks, almost a couple of inches worth of growth, darker in their dampness.
"How was …" clearing his throat, his eyes remain closed. "How was the dance?"
I smile, even though he can't see. "It was …" I let my words trail off, because it was miserable. His eyes open, bright green asking one hundred questions they don't want the answer to. "I thought about you the whole time."
His breath hitches, eyes swirling, but he doesn't move, waiting me out as my hands work his hair.
"Bella," he whispers, his voice so small, so achingly broken. "Why are you doing this?"
Instantly, I feel like a bitch. I've dragged Edward behind me, deciding the pace and making up the rules as I go, shifting the goalposts as I see fit. I touch him and I flirt with him, I ask him for his undivided attention but can't give him the same in return.
"I'm sorry," I choke, my eyes watering. "I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess and I've been such a bitch."
He shakes his head, arguing silently. I don't give him the chance to say anything.
"I was at that … stupid dance and all I could think about, was you. I saw you everywhere, in everything. And I realised that fighting against us, taking things slow … it's giving us nothing but hurt. I thought it was the right thing to do, I thought getting to know each other step by step was …" I sigh, a single tear working it's way down my cheek.
"I thought about you all night too," he admits quietly, letting his head drop. "I was driving myself crazy."
"I'm sorry."
"You needed to go to the dance, Bella, I get that."
I shake my head, pulling on his hair lightly so he looks at me. "Not like that. Not with Tyler." Taking a deep breath, I shift closer to him. "If the roles were reversed and you went with Jessica …" I can't even finish that trail of thought, which only solidifies how hypocritical and unfair I've been.
He doesn't answer me, doesn't argue, because he knows and he agrees.
"Why are you here?" he asks again.
"Because I don't want anyone else, Edward." His eyes meet mine, looking for the truth behind my words. "And I'm done holding you at arms length, it hurts both of us. So, if you still want me … I'm yours."
—
A/N
Can't wait to hear your thoughts!
Thanks for reading.
