I own nothing.
Sayori felt like the world was closing in around her, unable to speak or even think a coherent thought as the room around her was silent. The other side of the sealed off door was deafening and quiet, with not even the Shadows that had been behind there making a sound. The girl couldn't fathom how the ship could be so completely silent, when her mind wouldn't shut up. Every few moments the noise in her head would become too loud for her to keep inside, and her cries and screams would renew themselves that echoed in everyone's ears. Sayori couldn't believe it… She refused to believe it.
I can't sit here and cry… I have to… help him? Save him? Goro was dead… There was no way that she could help him anymore, but her mind and body fought against that reality with a ferocity that scared even her. Her hands scratched and clawed, fighting to escape the Phantom Thieves' grip, though at the same time she clung onto them, wanting the comfort and support they offered.
I can't save him… I couldn't save him… How could I still be so useless!? I even got a new Persona, and I still couldn't do anything! Kore had come, offering greater strength in Sayori's moment of need… in Goro's moment of need… and Sayori still couldn't save him!
I can't even keep a simple promise to myself… I couldn't do a single thing… Change a single thing… Even in the moment when I was absolutely sure of what I wanted to do… She hadn't been certain of who she would save when the Cognitive offered to let someone take Goro's place, but she didn't allow herself time to think. Only when she was already running forward, and then getting held back, had she been sure that she was certain that she didn't care what happened to her, as long as she could save Goro.
But I was too late. No… Goro made the decision for me… He wouldn't let me. I wish he had… It hurts so much!
The pain in her heart was so horrible… Something Sayori had never experienced before. Was this what Haru and Futaba felt…? What Goro felt when he lost his mother? It was easier to understand how they did so many things that had once scared her. The pain… She would do anything to make it stop, yet Sayori also knew from witnessing it that the pain would never go away.
The group sat in silence for a few moments.
"Hey- Valiant," Morgana said, sitting with his head leaning against her side. "Do you want to move somewhere else? Staying in this room… I don't think it's a good-"
"No… I don't want to leave him there…" Sayori said sobbing after each breath she took. "I don't want to… Never… It's not fair! I could have saved him!"
"You heard what Akechi-kun said earlier," Haru said gently. "He cared more about you than he did himself… It's not fair. It will never be fair… But there's nothing that can be done now." She could feel as Sayori began to fight the assertion, fighting it every time the truth fought its way to the front of her mind. But Haru knew the importance of remembering the truth in times like this.
"Just try to remember what he said to you… How he felt about you," Futaba advised, uncomfortable with all of the tears. Sayori shouldn't ever have to feel like this, the girl thought. Futaba almost resented Akechi posthumously… Because the girl was right. It wasn't fair that Akechi had to die, and leave Sayori to deal with this horrible grief. Akechi, Haru, and Futaba had all experienced this loss… Wasn't that enough?
Futaba kept these feelings to herself, burying them deep down in her mind as she slipped her thin arms into the mess of tangled arms and into the center, where Sayori was crying, leaning against Akira and Ryuji's shoulder like a limp rag doll. Futaba did her best to hug her, remembering back to her own Palace… When she finally remembered her mother for who she actually was… No matter what, Futaba wouldn't let the truth of Goro Akechi become distorted like that in Sayori's mind.
"He loved you, right?"" Haru asked. "He died… protecting what he loved… You won't resent him for that, will you, Valiant?"
"No… Never!" Sayori cried out, almost angry at the mere possibility. Haru jolted back a bit, but otherwise did nothing else.
"I think… we should go, soon… Not now," Yusuke said, looking back up at the sealed bulkhead door. His imagination was cruel, filling his mind with images of the body that was on the other side. The group wasn't that far away from it, then… Yet they would never be able to get to it, blocked by the door. Being here wasn't good for any of their mental health… Least of all Sayori's.
"I'm… never going to see him again," Sayori whispered, her voice filled with a sense of melancholy that twisted the artist's insides.
"I'll draw a picture of him for you," Yusuke promised without thinking, only seconds later wondering if that would really be wise. Would that help Sayori at all?
"That would be nice," Sayori said softly… "Your art would be better than any pictures of him on social media… More accurate…" But not the same… Not enough…
Ryuji's legs were starting to ache from sitting in place for so long, but he knew he wasn't going to let himself get up until everyone was ready. Sayori's head was resting slightly on his shoulder, and he was honestly nervous about touching her in any other way aside from letting her touch him. He wasn't going to tap her shoulder or move her hair out of the way, even as it seemed to practically rush towards the insides of his nose every time he inhaled, making him want to sneeze…
But he wasn't going to disturb her. Hugs were nice… And Shido could wait. As much as he wanted to smash the bastard's teeth in, Ryuji would never make the man a higher priority than his friends. Besides, Sayori needed time to rest and recover, and then she deserved a fair shot at helping to make Shido pay for what he did.
Ann kept her arms wrapped tightly around Sayori, wanting the girl to know she wasn't alone right now. Yet at the same time, the girl worried that Sayori would feel suffocated with everyone crowded around her. She was struggling against them so much, nails digging into skin and making deep scratches… and then she would suddenly go limp and curl in on herself, and Ann had no idea what to do other than be there, being what Sayori needed in her time of need.
Someone had just died in front of them only a few minutes ago, and Ann could hardly process the passage of time herself. She wanted to pay all of her respects and stay here for as long as Sayori needed, but in the same second of thought she wanted to get Sayori away, some place safe and warm and familiar… Ann wanted to stay and comfort the girl and be sad and melancholy at the same moment that she wanted to set this whole ship ablaze and let it sink beneath the waves of this cognitive sea. It seemed that they were both switching behaviors and emotions, yet Ann could only stay frozen in this spot.
Akira had been the first to hug Sayori, so he was about as trapped in the hug as the girl was. She was practically right against him, and Akira felt more sorrow than ever that his confidant link with her was broken. Would she even believe him when he told her what he needed to say? He supposed there was only one way to find out.
"Valiant… You are so brave and so strong… You did everything that you could, okay? You saved me," Akira said quietly. "I know that it is hard to accept… but you did everything that you could… So don't hate yourself because of this… Akechi made his own choice… And he was happy to protect you…"
"Why did he have to die for me, though? Why couldn't he have lived for me, instead?" Sayori asked, her voice starting to become quiet. "It hurts… I don't want to feel like this! Even my Persona was too weak to save him!"
"You were tired after the fight… Your new Persona is a good thing. It didn't come from your bond with me, or with anyone else… It came from your bond with Akechi. Even though Akechi isn't with us anymore… You can still use the strength of your bond to fight… Your bond with Goro Akechi will never disappear, and you can use it to bring Shido to justice, and to get home," Akira said, feeling the strength of that new Persona inside the girl even now. It had been weakened from the fight with Akechi earlier, yet even with limited strength it had left deep gouges on the bulkhead door… Just not deep enough. It scared Akira to think of what it could do at full strength.
Sayori was quiet for a long time, taking deep shaky breaths as she leaned into the group. Akira waited to see what the girl would do next. He wondered if she believed him, or if she really just didn't want to hear his reassurances right then.
He had higher hopes when she lifted her head off of his and Ryuji's shoulder, her eyes bloodshot and dim as she regarded everyone. She looked at the sealed bulkhead doors for a few moments more, and looked like she was going to burst into tears all over again, when she instead took a deep breath and faced everyone again.
"Thank you, guys… For caring so much about me. I… I think I want to leave now… I think I'm ready."
Cautiously, everyone untangled their arms from her, staying close in case she tried to run towards the door again. In plain view of everyone were ten thin streaks of blood down the side of the door where she had struggled to get in, along with a few bloody spots where she had pounded on the door. Fortunately, Sayori finally seemed to notice the mess, too, glancing down at her hands and wincing at her ripped gloves.
Everyone did their best to hide the scratches on their arms as the girl tried to run her fingers through her hair, only to cringe and immediately pull away.
Makoto ran over and grabbed Sayori's hands, cringing at the splintered nails, gashes, cuts, and scrapes that covered the girl's hands. "These are going to be difficult to heal… Especially with all of these nails the way they are. One wrong move and they could heal entirely wrong…" But Makot didn't want Sayori to have to deal with these hands for much longer than she already had. Hey would only be a reminder of today…
"We could wrap them up and then go to Dr. Takemi's after we get out of this Palace," Morgana suggested. The cat was concerned as well, sorting through his healing supplies for some bandages.
"Well, when are we leaving this Palace?" Ann asked, sighing as a troubling decision occurred to her. "We still haven't gotten our fifth letter of recommendation."
"Well, let's leave and come back tomorrow," Haru said, presenting the most obvious answer.
"But then we would have to leave right after that to send the calling card, and then come back again the next day… And to get to the Cleaner we would have to come all the way back down here again… Back to this area," Futaba pointed out.
"Still… we're all beaten up after today," Ryuji countered. "If we want to beat the Cleaner, then we need to rest and recuperate."
"But the longer it takes to get the letters… The longer it takes to send a calling card and steal Shido's heart," Yusuke argued.
Sayori pulled her hands away from Makoto, hissing at the fresh pain moving them caused her. She walked into the middle of the group and voiced her own opinion.
"Let's go get that last letter," Sayori declared, surprising everyone. Though they had been arguing, they had all internally begun to agree that they should take a break for Sayori's sake, yet the girl's own decision completely contradicted their expectations of her.
"Sayori, are you sure?" Haru asked, walking up to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. "You're still hurt… We're all hurt, and still tired."
"I don't care. We all decided this morning that today we would finish securing our infiltration route, and I am not going to let what happened stop us from bringing Shido to justice as soon as possible!" She glared at the ground. "Besides, the longer Shido is free to do what he wants, the more I feel like he's… won. Even if it's only one extra day that we take to change his heart, that proves he delayed our plans to stop him by one day… That Goro's death was…" She took a deep breath and sighed, fighting back the flow of tears as they tried to run again.
Everyone understood what she was trying to say, agreeing with her soon after. They needed to bring Shido to justice as soon as possible… They needed to keep their promise to Akechi, and so they all felt that they couldn't take more days than they needed to in order to change the man's heart.
"Let's get going, then," Akira said. "We'll make a quick stop at a safe room to rest, and then go find the Cleaner. That sound good?" It wasn't lost on Sayori how everyone looked at her for an answer.
"Yeah… That's fine," the girl agreed. Everyone smiled in relief, before turning to leave the room. Sayori was quick to follow, avoiding the urge to turn around and look back at the sealed door one last time.
It won't change anything. The door won't suddenly just go down… I'm not going to be able to see Goro…
Still, Sayori snuck a glance, hoping against all odds that those thoughts were wrong. But unlike before… She turned back around and left of her own accord. It hurt to leave… But she knew it would hurt more to be dragged away or carried off.
After backtracking for a little bit, the Phantom Thieves found themselves in a nearby room that held computers and security monitors. Sitting in chairs by the computers were four intimidating men, one of whom the thieves recognized as the Cleaner, who had been giving them so much trouble lately.
Unsurprisingly, the four men seemed to have been waiting for the thieves to arrive, as they turned to face the group of teenagers with smug smiles that made all of the thieves burn with rage. The Cleaner sized them all up, noticing quickly that there was something missing from what he had expected to walk towards him.
"Where's that brat and his army of security guards that he was supposed to bring to escort you? Did you manage to outrun him, or did he just not want to come in here and watch me take all of you kids down?" the man asked, tossing off his purple suit jacket, revealing tattoos underneath.
The Phantom Thieves all looked at each other silently, all having the same thought in mind. They were all exhausted, and sad, and angry… And they honestly weren't interested in talking or negotiating with Shadows anymore.
"Eh? What's wrong with all of you? Scared to fight after being forced all this way?"
"Heh," Joker chuckled, though it sounded dead in his ears. "The security detail you were expecting to be with us was eliminated on the way here… And the only reason we continued in this direction was to make you an offer. Give us a letter of recommendation."
"What's in it for me?" The Cleaner asked, glaring at the teen. "I don't owe you shit if you aren't going to make it worth my while."
"Wrong answer," Joker said, removing his mask and summoning one of his more powerful Personas to his side.
"Wha-" The man didn't get a chance to respond as the Phantom Thieves charged towards him and his cronies. Noir, Fox, and Queen had each lackey knocked down within seconds, while the Cleaner himself had immediately transformed into his real form. The Shadow seemed to double in size, a cape draping his body as a mask swung down over his cage, his eyes becoming red and a scythe forming in his hand. He swung out at the Phantom Thieves angrily, forcing them to jump away.
Oracle was working on giving her teammates as many buffs as she could, Joker and a few others doing the same. They each fought the powerful Shadow with all of their effort, knowing that despite all of their exhaustion, it was too late to give up now.
At the moment, it was also hard to protect themselves, as Valiant no longer seemed to be paying attention to her role on defense and guarding. Then again, for many of the members in their group, it had become hard to focus on anything like strategy with what was going on right now.
Yet, it was more terrifying to see Valiant act like this, as she charged towards the Shadow with reckless abandon, throwing aside her shield like it wouldn't be better at her side to protect her. As the team worked on trying to weaken the Shadow, they all nearly had a collective heart attack when the Shadow swung out at Valiant, the sharp edge of its scythe coming dangerously close to her neck.
At the last second, Kore launched out of the girl's back, wrapping large green vines around the Shadows arm as Valiant slashed at him with her sword. If it weren't for the armor that the Shadow was wearing to protect itself, the sight the thieves witnessed would have been much more gory, or at least over much more quickly than it was taking.
For a few moments, there were all enamored as Valiant landed attack after attack on the Shadow, her Persona wrapping itself around the Cleaners limbs, ensnaring him like a bug in a flytrap. Each second that passed, Oracle could tell that Kore was choking the life out of the Shadow, his health getting lower and lower as the leafy vines overtook it.
"Let's help her finish the job already," Skull said, uncomfortable as he watched the Shadow's slow but certain defeat. It was what they came for after all… A quick victory, and then they would get the letter of recommendation.
"Valiant has to be aware of what her Persona is doing though, right? She's barely even paying attention to it… It almost feels like it's acting on its own," Panther said, her voice nervous as they all ran forward and shot at the Shadow hidden underneath the layer of suffocating foliage.
"She's definitely aware of what it's doing," Mona said, looking sadly at the girl. "I get why she feels so strongly about this, though. This entire Palace… I feel sick just by being in it, now… I feel like every Shadow I run into… I'll want to fight, after this."
Indeed, Valiant knew exactly what she was doing. Even when the Shadow began to act in a last pitiful move of desperation, cutting through the thick layers of vines, more would grow in their place. It was an exhausting routine, and multiple times she thought she was going to faint, but she wouldn't quit… Not as long as she was standing.
"Valiant! L-let us have a go at him!" Skull said, nervously running forward and striking the Shadow with a bolt of electricity.
Everyone joined in, soon, forcing Valiant to take the backseat, even as her hands burned and itched, wanting to grab her sword and mask and carve through the Shadow like she wanted.
I'm so tired… This feeling… it can't be stopped. I want to destroy that thing… tear my way through this entire Palace until I'm too exhausted to keep going anymore.
Joker was forcing the letter of recommendation out of the Shadow's defeated hands, tucking it into his coat's pocket along with the other four. The man was still covered in weeds and leaves… and even some flowers. All of the plants were starting to wilt.
The group turned around to see Valiant glaring at the Cleaner. When she realized she was being watched, she directed her eyes towards the ground and turned around, walking back towards the nearest safe room. The Phantom Thieves walked after her, worried about her as they nursed their own injuries from the earlier struggles in the Palace.
The group went back to the main hall of the Palace and traced their steps to the locked rooms. They used their letters to unlock the door, and found themselves in a giant empty room with the Treasure glowing brightly in the center. Finally, they had established their infiltration route.
We did it… And tomorrow, this whole place is going to sink, Valiant thought to herself, staring at the floor. Good… It will finally be over… It has to be…
The attic was dark and silent. If not for the fact that she was aware of the constant rise and fall of her chest, and if not for the fact that she was forced to blink every few seconds, Sayori wouldn't have been able to tell if she was sleeping or not. She stared at the ceiling in near silence, unable to fall asleep as her heart pounded loudly in her ears, and the darkness in Akira's room seemed to reach out and cover her and her friends like a blanket.
After leaving Shido's Palace, they had all decided to visit Takemi's so that they could get their arms patched up. Whether they had been looking at her or not, Sayori had felt guilty as the doctor disinfected the scratches and wrapped thick white bandages over everyone's arms. In the moment she made those scratches, it had felt good to have their arms around her, and still be able to fight and struggle. Now, she only felt numb. She didn't feel anything, even when Dr. Takemi had cleaned and bandaged her hands. Instead of loud rain clouds roaring in her head, she could only picture an empty void inside of her mind, echoing guilt and despair as the adrenaline of earlier had finally worn off.
The doctor recommended to Akira that someone should give Sayori something to cover her hands with, to keep her from picking at the bandages, and then had sent the group on their way, looking unaffected even as she glanced at the girl who she had heard was "glitching."
After leaving the doctor's office, everyone had been about to leave for their own homes, when the quickly fading sky and the thought of being alone with the knowledge of what had happened stopped them in their tracks. If everyone left, Akira and Futaba would have to tell Sojiro what had happened, Makoto would be alone to tell Sae, and Ann would be the only company Sayori had during the night. All of these factors made the teens easily decide that they would be spending the night together… Not to mention the fact that none of them wanted to be alone. Leblanc wasn't that far, so the group quickly went to the cafe and up to Akira's room, Futaba disappearing briefly to go to Sojiro's house and bring back a pair of mittens for Sayori to cover her bandages with.
Sayori was wearing them now, while all of her friends slept around her, sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor. All of them were laying side by side like a tin of sardines, with Sayori right in the middle. Each of the teens were hugging her, stretching their arms towards the center of their sleeping pile. Sayori felt closed in, surrounded by their bandaged arms and the guilt of knowing she had caused them. She was able to read between the lines of what they were doing. Aside from all wanting to stay together, if Sayori got up and went anywhere, at least one of the thieves would wake up…
All to make sure she was alright.
The adrenaline of earlier had gone away hours ago… Crying and screaming and fighting were so obviously pointless now. Goro was dead, and now that it wasn't so fresh in her mind, Sayori could only focus on that fact. Goro was gone… She was never going to see him again. She barely even knew how life was going to continue on from this point. Was she going to grow old, or die? Would she just cease to exist someday, or would she spend the rest of eternity like this, unable to meet Goro again? Or, if this was a game, could it be restarted? No… She didn't even want to think about that. It wouldn't be her Goro… Not the one she had met and loved.
I guess I'm trying to bargain now, aren't I? But I don't want to do that… Not in that way, at least. Sayori found it pathetic now… She knew she was in a game, yet she had never been able to fathom how the game worked. She didn't know how she worked.
Tears came to her eyes and trickled down the side of her face, sliding down to her ears and dripping onto her earlobes, making her cringe, but she didn't move otherwise. If she moved, she wouldn't go to sleep… Not like that was going to be happening anyway, though.
She closed her eyes tightly and shuddered, not wanting to think about eternity that night. She had never thought about her situation in this way… Yet now it was all she could think about. Day after day and night after night… Never seeing Goro again, but she remaining the exact way she had always been… Never changing and maturing and moving past this form that she had shared with him.
"Is anyone awake?" Yusuke asked from somewhere in the darkness, and Sayori bit her lip, even though it was obvious that he had heard her, and just hadn't wanted to single her out.
"Sayori… are you awake?" the artist tried again, and Sayori sniffled.
"Y-yes," she stuttered, feeling absolutely pathetic. A second later, Yusuke stretched his arm out in search of something, his hand brushing over the girl's face, then all the way down to her stomach, before quickly finding Sayori's hand and grasping it tightly.
"T-there it is. Sorry… It's dark," Yusuke said nervously.
Sayori made a sad attempt at a smile. "Yeah… I've noticed. You're squeezing my hand a bit too tightly, by the way." The boy's hand immediately loosened its grip, and Sayori sighed in relief as the pressure left her wounds.
"I am sorry that things happened the way that they did," Yusuke said, going silent to hear whatever Sayori might want to say.
"You… don't have anything to apologize for. I would get a headache, trying to decide who is responsible for what happened today. It could be Shido for killing him, or Goro for going to Shido in the first place. It could be you guys for tricking Goro and making him go crazy… Or it could be me, for not being able to save him… As much as I want to only blame Shido, my mind always goes back to blaming myself for not being able to save him," Sayori said quietly. "All I know right now for certain is that blaming Goro would be blaming the victim in this case, and blaming you guys would be too painful for me… I don't have anyone else right now."
"You have yourself, too," Yusuke pointed out. "Don't blame yourself when the results of your effort to save him are located on your very hands… In this case, Shido is the one to blame."
"If I'm not allowed to blame myself, then you aren't allowed to, either… So don't apologize either," Sayori replied back, and Yusuke chuckled lightly.
"I will admit that I don't blame myself for his death… But I do blame myself for robbing you two of your time together. If we hadn't tricked Akechi and separated the two of you, I think you two would have had much more time together… Even if his death may have been inevitable," Yusuke sighed to himself. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't be talking about the what-ifs, or the maybes, right now."
"No… It's fine. Aside from the guilt, I've been thinking about those a lot, anyway," Sayori said. "I'm perfectly capable of making myself miserable, so don't act like it's all you."
"I suppose that's true…" Yusuke was silent for a few moments, shifting his position in the bed. "I believe I was supposed to be making you feel better… Yet, I've only been talking about myself. Right now, how are you feeling?"
"... Stunned, I guess. Earlier, I was upset and panicking, and I still feel like that, but now it's just so… silently overwhelming, because I… I know that there's nothing that I can do," Sayori felt tears prick her eyes, feeling once more like she was suffocating. "I've been awake this whole time, just silently panicking… But it doesn't make any difference what I do, because nothing can bring him back."
Yusuke nodded, even though he knew the girl couldn't see it. "I promise that I'll put everything I have into a picture of him… I've been unable to sleep this entire time, because I'm scared I'll fall asleep and forget everything I'm trying to remember about him. I don't want to just use a photograph of him… I want the piece to capture something more than just what he looked like."
"I know what that feels like… I don't want to forget anything about him. I'm worried I'll forget how he sounded… the way he talked, the sounds he made when he did random things… Or how he felt when he…" Sayori stopped. "I probably shouldn't talk about those things with you, actually. That could be… embarrassing." But, it was difficult now to stop thinking about those things. How he moved, and the way he smelled like maple, or how nice it felt to hug him…
"If you ever need to talk about those things… then I will never be opposed to it. I'm an artist, and capturing what you need in this piece of art will be my main goal," Yusuke stated.
"That's… comforting. But I'm surprised you didn't immediately start on it when we got here, then," Sayori replied.
"Well, I think I'm more needed here… That's how we all felt, I think," Yusuke said. "If I were downstairs drawing right now, I would be too worried if you were okay or not."
"Hm…" Sayori looked back up at the ceiling in thought. "Yusuke… I'm sorry for what I did to you, and to everyone, today. I hurt all of you, and scared all of you. I've… been doing that a lot, lately, haven't I? I've been lying and keeping secrets, and in the Palace… I know I've been acting differently than I used to."
"I don't know how everyone else feels… but to me, it's not my position to place blame on you. We all put you under a lot of stress when we tricked you. Honestly, I think the reason I feel so bad was because when I made the choice to help deceive you and Goro, I was doing it out of fear for your wellbeing… But then I ended up being the one to hurt you," Yusuke frowned and sunk back into his pillow. "Honestly, that fear for your safety has never truly gone away, but it's shifted. I was wrong to place judgement on Goro Akechi... But I never trusted him as much as I trust Akira and everyone else here. When we realized how much of a mistake our scheme was, I began to fear even more that you were going to fall victim to another Madarame… Betrayed and hurt by someone you trusted… But now I worried that this 'other Madarame,' would be one of us… Would be me. Was I once again wrong in my sense of judgement?"
The artist froze, feeling ashamed. "I did it again. I'm supposed to be listening to what you are feeling, and instead I keep talking about myself."
"No… I like hearing you talk about this stuff… It's nice, knowing you really are so scared and worried. You know that there's a problem, so you can work to fix it, and now I know that you know, so I know you really do regret what happened," Sayori smiled a little bit, though it still sagged. "Still, I did end up scratching you guys up really bad… And you all just sat there and took it, and it makes me feel terrible… How I acted… How I hurt myself and all of you."
"Hurting us a little bit is better than hurting yourself. Just think, if we hadn't stepped in, all of those scratches that you gave to all eight of us would have gone onto you, and there's only one of you," Yusuke pointed out. "I will admit, it was scary in a different way, seeing you go so far to try to save Akechi, even when it was futile. Then, when you fought the cleaner the way you did… I used to be so scared for you, but after what I've seen today, I'm almost scared of you, while still being scared for you. I worry about the scars you'll have to carry from now on… Or about how your views of the world may have changed."
"I worry about that, too," Sayori admitted, putting the hand that wasn't holding Yusuke's over her forehead. "My Persona… evolved today, and I'm having trouble deciding if that's really a good thing, or what I'm supposed to do now. I have mixed feelings about the Persona itself. I hate it for not being able to tear through that door and grab Goro before he got hurt, but what Akira said earlier… It almost made me happy."
Yusuke made a humming noise for a second. "Do you want to hear why I think that is?"
"Go for it."
"Well, your Persona evolved when you told Goro that you believed him, when he said that everything would be alright. I can only assume then… that you must have really believed him… That even if you didn't think things would be alright, you trusted Goro enough to think he was right… And when Akira explained that Kore meant you would always have a reminder of your relationship with him… you almost felt happy, because you made the connection that things would be alright, because Goro Akechi will be with you in some way, always," Yusuke rambled on. "It's like the assurance I get whenever I look at the Sayuri. Even though it was a means for Madarame to do evil for a long time, it was meant to be a painting my mother made of her beautiful dream for me… It assures me, because I know she was thinking of me when she painted it. Nothing Madarame did could ever take away that feeling, and nothing anybody can do can ever take away the feelings you have. Goro was thinking of you, and he believed in you, and you believed in him, and were thinking of him, when Kore came into existence… Now you can believe in yourself, and think of yourself."
"You've been thinking about this a lot more than me," Sayori remarked, uncovering her eyes and staring up at the ceiling. "I think you could be right, though. I got Kore because of myself… I hate myself for failing to save Goro… for every time I've failed… But Kore makes me feel like it's okay. In the end, Goro believed in me, and loved me, and I have all of you guys, too. I… I did fail, and I'll never be able to stop feeling upset about that, but the guilt and hatred I feel is all in my head. No one else hates me for it…Goro did what he did to save me… So I want to be someone worthy of being saved. I want to keep growing, and I want to believe that everything will be okay. He saved me because he wanted me to keep living… He wanted me to be happy!"
"Of course he did…" Yusuke said, yawning a little bit. "Try to be quiet, Sayori. You're going to wake the others up."
"Oh… We've been awake," Morgana said from on top of Akira's chest.
Sayori and Yusuke jumped as Ann sat up and stretched. "Did you guys really think any of us would be able to sleep tonight?"
"Well, you could have answered when I asked, 'is anyone awake?'" Yusuke griped, sitting up, though he still kept a hold of Sayori's hand.
"You were clearly only asking Sayori," Makoto pointed out, sitting up as well. "If we had spoken up then Sayori probably wouldn't have."
"Still, it's mean to just listen to other people's conversations like that!" Sayori grumbled, sitting up as well, though she winced as she used her hands to boost herself up.
"Well, I think it would have just ruined everything if we interrupted you guys during any of that," Futaba remarked.
"Oh… So… it would sort of be like what you're doing now," Yusuke replied coldly, glaring at everyone.
"I'm sorry, Yusuke," Haru said sweetly, taking off her sleep mask and setting it on the ground above her pillow. "I didn't want things to go badly because Sayori decided to just let the rest of us speak. I think we all just wanted her to have a moment to talk through her thoughts, with only one other person offering input."
"It does make sense," Sayori admitted, leaning over on her knees. "I honestly probably would have just kept my thoughts to myself if everyone else was talking. Don't be mad at them, Yusuke. Thanks to your help, I think my head was finally able to find something better to focus on."
Yusuke looked down at the floor, letting the remnants of his frustration fade away, before sighing and smiling. "It brings me joy that we were able to reach a less sad conclusion before being interrupted. That said," Yusuke looked at everyone intensely, "why did any of you feel the need to speak or interrupt at all, if you didn't want to overwhelm her. You could have just kept silent."
The lights finally turned on, and everyone blinked furiously and complained as Akira went back to his spot on the floor. "Sorry about that, but I don't think any of us will be sleeping for a while anyway…"
"Right, good thinking," Morgana complimented, before looking down at the ground thoughtfully. "I guess I decided to say something because it would be rude not to speak up. We'd be eavesdropping if the two of you never knew we were listening the whole time."
"Yeah, and we all want to help Sayori, too," Ryuji stated, yawning a bit. "We'll all be there for you, Sayori, and I would feel pretty useless if Yusuke was the one doin' all the work to make you feel better. He's already going to draw for you. There's gotta be somethin' I can do!"
"Like what?" Sayori asked, leaning over and watching as Ryuji scrambled to come up with an answer.
"W-well, I can do things like cook and clean… And also I always noticed how Akechi was sort of like a guard dog when he was with you. Not really mean, but he was basically just this shadow following you around… I could do something like that! I dunno…" The blond was struggling and fumbling, and Sayori felt bad for him.
"Honestly, I really don't know, Sayori. I don't really have a thing like Yusuke does, and there's nothing I can think of about myself that reminds me of Akechi… So do you have any ideas?" Ryuji asked.
Sayori thought for a moment, before nodding. "You were always one of the biggest supporters of me and Goro getting together… Don't think I forgot about the bets all of you guys made on us," the girl warned, Ann, Ryuji, and Akira to all become sheepish.
Sayori was about to continue speaking, when she realized she was honestly making this up as she went along. "I… lost my train of thought. Actually, I don't think there's much that any of you guys can do other than be there for me. You guys have always been helpful, protective, and kind… Even if you guys took it out of hand… Really, Ryuji, aside from your guys' stupid scheme, I've always liked it when you do your best to protect me… Coming from you, and everyone else, I know it means I'm worth protecting."
Ryuji looked down at the ground and tried to smile, though it was rather hard as tears ran down his face. "Comin' from me!? What does that mean!? Don't tell me you think you're not worth protectin'!"
Sayori gasped as the blond suddenly leapt across the side of the makeshift bed, barreling into the girl and hugging her tightly. She tried to hug him back, until the feeling of struggling became obvious underneath them.
"Ryuji! Get off of us!" Ann yelled, kicking her legs out and pushing the boy off of her, with Makoto and Haru helping out. "And seriously, don't just ambush her like that!"
"Right… Sorry!" Ryuji quickly separated from Sayori, who quickly mouthed that it was okay.
"Anyway, Sayori, that does concern me, too," Makoto said, getting up and looking at the girl curiously. "Actually, I have several concerns that I've been thinking about, but first is… Do you really still feel so badly about yourself?"
"No… It's not like that… I didn't mean it in such a bad way!" Sayori said, hugging her knees. "I just was thinking about how I was… before. When I was in my old home before meeting any of you… Or before meeting Goro. I had this friend… A few friends actually, and I was just remembering how I would always feel guilty when my friend tried to do nice things for me, or tried to make me feel better… I felt like a complete waste of space… and that I didn't deserve any of that love… It's different with all of you, and it was with Goro, too. I never feel like a burden when I need help from any of you, because I know that it makes you happy to help… I always want my friends to be happy and smiling, because then I'll never have a reason to be unhappy, right? It was always this endless cycle of giving everything I had into making other people happy, but feeling horrible, and like I didn't deserve to feel the same."
"But not anymore…?" Makoto asked gently.
"It depends…" Sayori answered, shrugging. "On who I'm with… and with how my mind is feeling, because sometimes it just can't help but feel that way… But it's bearable, now, thanks to you guys." She smiled gently, before frowning again. "It's been bad tonight… Because I'm always going to think about Goro being happy that I'm alive… But saving me caused him to…"
"Don't think about it like that," Haru said gently. "Not now… When you finally made a happier conclusion, earlier…" The girl reached out and placed a gentle hand on Sayori's shoulder. "Remember, Goro didn't do what he did because he saw you as a 'waste of space' or anything like that. It was never a burden to him to help you, and it never will be a burden to us, either."
"Yeah…" Sayori trailed off, before looking at Makoto. "What were the other concerns you had?"
"Oh!" Makoto realized she was being spoken to again, before looking at the ground uncomfortably. "Well… I was just thinking about something Akechi said earlier, and I was hoping you could explain what he meant by that?"
Sayori nodded, though her body trembled and her face went pale as she nervously wondered what Makoto was going to ask her about.
"Akechi said, 'Sorry I could never help you get home,' and 'you'll be able to find your way back,'" Makoto stated, concern marring her features. "Could you explain what he meant by that?... B-but before you do, I don't care if you were hiding anything from us, Sayori, or if this was something you were lying to us about. I just think it sounded like something we all need to know, now."
"Oh…" Sayori paused and stared into her lap, thinking for a minute. "I guess I never did tell any of you guys this… I never explained why Goro was my 'guardian,' huh?"
"A few months ago, when we went to the beach, I asked him how you guys became roommates. He didn't go into a lot of detail, but he did say that when the two of you met that you needed his help," Akira explained, causing Sayori to nod.
"Well… Yeah, that's basically it…" Sayori trailed off for a moment, before closing her eyes and leaning her head back. "I'm… lost, and I don't know how to get home… I don't even know where my home is, or who my family is… I don't even remember my surname…" If I even have one…
"Sure you do… It's Matsu, right?" Ryuji asked, not quite catching on to what the girl was saying. Everyone stared at him blankly, until the blond nervously cleared his throat and waved his hand. "Anyway, keep goin.'"
"I… I guess I should start from the beginning, huh?" Sayori asked, taking a deep breath. "M-my last memory of being home is going to sleep, excited to go to the culture festival with my best friend…" At least it was… Until I remembered what happened the next morning a few weeks ago…
"When I woke up, I was lying on a sidewalk, somewhere in Tokyo, with a big, ugly wound around my neck, and my pajamas ripped up… and blood on my hands." Sayori stared at her bandaged hands now, and felt the phantom feeling of using them to claw at the sealed door, and then all the way back to when she was clawing at her own neck. "A-anyway, I wandered around for a while, trying to see if I could find my home, but I only got even more lost… Not to mention I lived in a small town, and I woke up in the middle of the city… I tried asking people if they could tell me where I was, but they only glared at me or ignored me."
"That's horrible," Ann mumbled, suddenly remembering when Sayori first started coming to Shujin. For the first few weeks, she had been covering her neck, and then suddenly had stopped… Had she been hiding the wounds, then?
"Yeah… I remember after a little while of this, I sort of just… gave up? I sat down on the bench near a bus stop and started crying, not knowing at all what I could do. But then…" Sayori actually smiled for a moment. "Goro came… He had been on his way to the bus stop, too, and noticed something was wrong, and asked if I was alright. I started telling him how I was lost, and he offered to help me, and let me spend the night in his apartment. He tried to help track down where I came from, but no luck. Maybe because of Shido, or something else, he was insistent on not trusting the police with finding my home, so he worked on it himself… Though he also told Sae," Sayori finished, taking in a long breath after her ramble.
"Sis knew?" Makoto asked, heartbroken about not knowing about this sooner. She shook her head and cleared her throat. "Nevermind… that's not important. It's fine that you didn't tell us… I can see how you might think that it might create a rift between all of us."
"Yeah… I started going to Shujin because Goro saw that helping me get home wasn't just going to be an open and shut case. He couldn't find any leads, and there was nothing about me being missing anywhere that he looked. I had no memory of my life except for vague recollections of my childhood, and the last few days before I went to sleep for my school's festival… and even those memories were limited to my morning walks to school, and the afternoons in the literature club… Like I said earlier, I couldn't remember my surname, so Goro had to make one up for me to go to school," Sayori explained. Everyone looked at her in shock and sympathy, until Morgana suddenly walked up to her side and leaned on her arm, a depressed frown on his face.
"It's… kind of like me. I don't remember where I came from, either," Morgana mumbled, closing his eyes. "I guess neither of us are alone because of that. We have each other, and I'll make the same promise to you that everyone has made to me. You'll remember…"
"So… there was a lot more going on between you two than just being roommates," Ryuji said, sighing as he rubbed the back of his head. "I understand a lot more what went on between you… He must have cared a lot about you… Everything he did, but it was different from everything he did that you didn't know about! Like, I get it, but at the same time I can't wrap my head around it at all!"
"I guess it doesn't matter if you understand him better or not," Sayori said lazily. "What's important is that you know that he cared about me, and I know he wouldn't have helped me for so long if it was just to stroke his own ego… He told Sae about it, too, and he asked her for help. That's why I got Makoto's old Shujin uniforms."
"Akechi-kun probably also told her, in case it turned out to not be the right decision for you to live with him," Makoto said, frowning. "At first, I was questioning why he wouldn't let the police handle finding your home, but it makes sense when you consider that he knew how much corruption there is in the police force, and the justice system as a whole… In the days leading up to Okumura's death, I heard Sae getting angry because Akechi asked her if you could start staying at our apartment…"
"It was because he didn't murder my father," Haru said, frowning. "If my father had lived after exposing all of those crimes, Shido probably would have killed Akechi for betraying orders."
"The fact that after Okumura still died… after you and him discussed everything…" Ann grimaced. "Is it possible that Shido was using you against him for much longer than that?"
An uneasy feeling suddenly bloomed in Sayori's stomach, all the while rage began to blossom in her mind. "That's actually what happened, actually. Goro signed my permission slips for school, and when you consider what we learned in the Palace… That Kobayakawa actually worked with Shido…" Sayori closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Not to mention that after I moved into Ann's house, he told me to be careful around strangers… He actually warned me I could get kidnapped!"
"Shido…" Futaba growled, straightening her glasses across the bridge of her nose. "When we steal his Treasure, I'm going to throttle him! Using my mom to shame Akechi into staying, and then holding my best friend as a hostage!? What does this guy have against me!?"
"I thought I was your best friend…"
"Shut up, Inari! This is legitimate rage I am feeling right now, so don't you dare joke with me!" The girl grumped, standing up and grabbing her laptop. "We'll see how he likes it when I bite back!"
Yusuke looked disappointed with the conversation's end, before turning his attention back to Sayori. "So… I suppose there is one way we can all help you now."
Sayori looked up curiously. "What would that be?"
"We can help you get back home!" Ann shouted in realization. "I bet Akechi had a whole bunch of notes and stuff in his apartment! If we go back and get them we could put our heads together and… and…" the girl looked hopeful, but suddenly felt skeptical of the idea as well.
"It's been a long time…" Akira said sullenly. "I agree with you both that we should help Sayori, but I doubt we would get far. Still, I'll help however I can. Akechi said that you needed to find your own way back, but he didn't account for us. I want to do my best to help accomplish that last wish."
Everyone else began to voice their agreement, only for Sayori to smile and shake her head. Knowing what she did, about how far apart from her home she really was, she knew there was nothing that any of them could do.
"Akira is right to be cynical, you guys," Sayori said calmly, laying back down again. "Goro could never find a lead in the case, even with access to all kinds of information we don't have access to."
"Not true," Futaba piped up. "With a little bit of work, I could probably get a hold of all of the information he had and more!"
"That won't help either," Sayori said, feeling as though she were repeating herself. "I don't remember much about my past, but I remember enough to know that anything we can do won't help. I'll get myself home… But nothing I do will actually move me along in that direction…"
Haru looked at the girl sadly. "But what if-"
"And you guys have to know this already… Despite our role as Phantom Thieves, we can only do so many fantastical things, and that is what it's going to take to get me home… Or do I need to remind you about my glitching? What if I'm actually some weird Shadow from the Metaverse, or a paralysis demon, or even an alien? There is no normal reason for why I'm here, or why I am the way I am, so getting myself home will be the same way." Sayori laid down the cold hard truth for them, though she knew exactly what she was, and where her home was… She just didn't know how to get back, and she knew in her heart that it wouldn't be through normal methods.
"That's right… I had forgotten all about that," Makoto whispered.
Ann still looked enthusiastic. "Let's just stick with our old plan then. We'll get to the depths of Mementos, and maybe there we'll find a solution to your glitches, and maybe find a way for you to get back home.
Everyone began to express their agreement, until Sayori sighed in frustration. "Do you guys really believe that we'll even find anything there?"
"Maybe not," Morgana admitted, "But we'll need to keep going to Mementos after this to stop your glitches, and we're heading to the depths to help me get my memories back, anyway, so it's worth trying."
Sayori closed her eyes tightly, her heart hurting, grieving over Goro, and yet also touched by all of her friends' kindness.
"Sayori, can I ask you something?" Akira asked.
"You just did…"
"I need to ask something else!"
"Go ahead."
"Okay…" Akira closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He was tired, yet it felt so impossible to sleep. "Do you… want to go home, or stay here?"
Sayori's eyes shot open, and she blinked for a few seconds, before looking down sadly. "If I had been asked that before, it would be so hard to answer. Honestly, Goro and I both gave up after some time, but we didn't mind. I didn't think about home much, and I was happy to stay with Goro, though when things started looking like they would get bad with Shido, Goro got more nervous about getting me home… And I meant what I said earlier. I don't think anywhere could be home without Goro, now."
Everyone looked at the girl, waiting for the rest of her answer, wondering how she felt now.
"But…now I do want to go home. I want to put Shido behind bars, and then go home as soon as possible, so Goro won't have any regrets. He'll be able to rest easily after that…"
"What about you, though?" Ryuji asked. "How do you feel?"
Sayori looked up at the ceiling, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "I want to go home… and after that… I almost wish that I… that I could forget everything about ever being here. Because… whenever I used to picture going home, I would always imagine Goro coming to visit… That we would remain friends, or even a couple, after he got me home… But now whenever I think of everything…" Tears spilled down the sides of her face, because it wasn't just thinking about how Goro would be gone from her life completely. It would also be the thought of sleeping in her old room, and having to pretend like she hadn't died in there before… It would be still having to chase after her childhood friend when she held no feelings for him anymore.
It would be having to pretend like everything was fine in front of Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri, as the days stretched on and her memory of everything she had done in this place, and all of the new friends she had made, and the relationship she had once had, would no longer be accessible to her.
"Is that how you really feel?" Yusuke asked, looking heartbroken.
"You're seriously saying you would forget about us if you had the option!?" Ryuji shouted, upset by the girl's words.
"No… I said 'almost,'" Sayori repeated, sinking back underneath her blanket. "Whenever I think of all the pain I am in right now, it feels like it will last forever, but that's not it, right? Everyone always says that grief will eventually fade… The pain is unbearable now, but if I don't learn to carry it… How can I grow? Forgetting all of the good things I had here… Everyone important to me… Would be a sin…" How could I call myself a real person if I can't carry this weight… I'm not just a character, anymore…
The girl buried her head in her pillow and pulled her blanket up to her chest. "I'm… going to try to get some sleep now… I'm sorry if I hurt your guys' feelings. I swear that I didn't mean to do that!"
Everyone watched as Sayori finally succumbed to sleep, before settling down themselves when they realized how late (or early) it was. They were all troubled by what Sayori had said, but they also couldn't help but feel proud of her for remembering her resolution. Even though they were all sad by what had happened that day, and all worried for Sayori, she had left them all feeling assured that she would be alright, and that was enough for all of them to fall asleep.
Morning streamed through the attic windows, waking the exhausted teenagers up, though it was Morgana's helpful nudges and loud yelling that pushed most of them out of bed.
"You guys have to go to school! Get up or the school will think you guys are playing hooky! We don't need police coming here and finding Akira, do we?" The cat nagged, giving Ryuji and Yusuke light scratches, but leaving the girls alone after they all gave the cat a deathly glare.
"Alright, I'm up!" Ryuji griped, sitting up and flinging Morgana harshly forward with the momentum. The blond groaned as he rubbed at his eyes, which had dark bags underneath them. "Akira, you're lucky, but not as lucky as Futaba, not even having to worry about going to school, yet…"
The girl in question was laying face down on her closed laptop, snoring loudly with her glasses still on. Apparently the girl had the foresight to close her laptop, but not to take off her glasses, before passing out.
Ann sat up and stretched, combing through her hair with her fingers. She yawned and rubbed at her eyes, and then groaned as she realized she also had eyebags beginning to form. "Noooo…" She moaned. "I'm still tired!"
"As am I…" Yusuke yawned before he could finish his sentence, his blue hair floppy and limp against the sides of his head. "I think that when I get back to my dorm in Kosei, I may just go back to sleep-"
"Don't rub it in!" Ann shouted, as Ryuji threw a pillow at the artist.
"My apologies…"
"Don't be too harsh on him," Haru defended. "It's his skill that earned him his scholarship, and his right to stay in a dorm…"
Yusuke smiled gratefully. "Thank you for being so understanding, Har-"
"And it will be that same skill that will produce a wonderful work of art for Sayori by the end of the day, just like he promised," Haru finished, standing up and stretching delicately, somehow not seeming to suffer from the same symptoms of sleepiness that her friends were.
"Um… if I truly want to put the highest quality into my artwork, I do not think I will be able to get it done that fast…" Yusuke said nervously, not sure if Haru was being serious or not.
Haru smiled, though everyone could tell that it was strained. "Well, of course! But I do know that today you will spend as much time as possible on it that you can, right?"
"O-of course!"
"Good," Haru finished, before noticing something that immediately began to distress her. "Oh, poor Mako-chan! You forgot to take out your headband last night! None of us even realized… I am so sorry!" The girl immediately got onto her knees and tried to help Makoto untangle her braided headband from her head, which was proving to be difficult, since the hair on the headband was the same color as her natural hair.
"It's alright, Haru. I'll get it," Makoto croaked, before frowning. "Ugh, I'm thirsty. Hey, Sayori… Could you get me some water?"
Everyone was silent as they waited for the girl to reply, until they very quickly realized that the girl was still bundled in her blankets, her face burrowed into her pillow. Everyone was suddenly very conflicted as they watched the girl sleeping, looking somewhat peaceful. They all wished they could be in her position. None of them wanted to go to school today… It felt like too much, too soon, even though they knew it would be suspicious otherwise.
Morgana began to nudge her, before getting pulled away by a now fully alert Akira.
"Makoto, do you think you could cover for Sayori today?" Akira asked. "It would be weird if all of you skipped school, but no one will blink twice if it's just Sayori."
"Good point," Makoto agreed, looking down at the girl sadly. "I'll say that she's… sick, or had a family emergency or… something."
"We can workshop an excuse on our way to school," Ryuji said with a shrug, grabbing his school bag from the pile in the corner of the room and going downstairs.
"Sorry, guys," Morgana apologized. "It was insensitive of me to just-"
"Don't worry about it Morgana. You're just trying your best to look out for all of us," Ann interrupted, rubbing the cat's head. "Just make sure these three get plenty of rest, but also that Akira gets any supplies that we might still need." The girl got up as well, finding her school bag and the jacket for her school uniform, straightening her clothes up and dusting herself off in preparation for the day ahead.
Makoto and Haru got up as well, though Makoto was still having trouble with her headband. Yusuke followed after them, fretting over whether he had all the necessary supplies at Kosei for the day ahead of him, and also worried what others might think if they saw him drawing a picture of the famed detective prince.
Akira lay back down after hearing the bell on the cafe door ring for a last time as the last teammate left. Morgana walked over and curled up on Akira's chest, evidently still very tired as ell as his eyes began to droop shut again.
"How do you think things will go once Sayori wakes up?" Morgana asked. "She can't go over to Ann's right now, so she'll have to spend the day with us, but how should we handle that?"
"By letting her relax… Or giving her things to do…" Akira said drowsily. "It depends on what she wants. All I do know is that we'll have to make sure she's not alone today. I'll have to stop by Takemi's, and Iwai's." And the Velvet Room, Akira added to himself in frustration, knowing that he had to sort through all of his Personas. "Luckily, we could just have Sayori stay with Futaba and Sojiro if she doesn't want to go with us…"
"True… We should be okay then," Morgana said, before immediately falling back to sleep.
Akira chuckled, before glancing out the window at the now empty streetside. His frustrations with the ones who dwelled in the Velvet Room had sparked once more last night. Just as he had feared, Igor had forced him back in for a meeting in his dreams last night, congratulating him on surviving against Akechi, and then cautioning him about the fight with Shido. Akira had sat there the whole time, simmering with unspoken rage as Caroline and Justine had loomed over him with imperious eyes, daring him to step out of line.
Akira had known he would need the twins' help to fuse Personas today, so he had stayed begrudgingly quiet, but he knew that everyone in that Velvet Room could sense the anger being directed at them. Akira hated them all right then, for this stupid game they were intent on playing. Maybe Goro Akechi would still be alive if Akira hadn't fallen for their deception...
After a while of silently sulking in bed, Akira was jarred from his stupor by a now wide awake Futaba, who was irritably cleaning off her glasses.
"Sayori's not going to school today?" the girl asked, nodding towards the still slumbering girl.
"Uh, yeah," Akira replied with a slight nod.
"Alright, then get up and help me wake up Sojiro. I need both of your help to make breakfast!" Futaba demanded, pulling on Akira's arm and dragging him out of bed, with Morgana slipping off of the boy's chest and landing on the floor with a scream.
"For Sayori?" Akira asked.
"For all of us!" Futaba clarified. "I wish I had woken up earlier, so that everyone else could have had breakfast with us, too, but oh well… We'll just have to save them some."
"Okay…" Akira obliged with a smile. He hadn't really wanted to go back to sleep anyway. He turned back to Morgana, who was grumbling on the ground. "Keep Sayori company while we make breakfast."
"Right," Morgana said dutifully, remembering what the two had discussed. He settled on the pile of blankets, snuggling into Sayori's shoulder, before once again falling asleep.
"Hurry up! Let's go!" Futaba demanded, dragging Akira towards the staircase insistently.
"Alright, alright. I'm coming," Akira said, walking on his own now, with his longer legs quickly outpacing Futaba. He didn't look back, confident for the first time in a while that things would get better. They had hit their lowest point, so things could only improve now…
Right?
Sayori blinked slowly, her eyes sealed shut with crusty tears. How lovely… she thought to herself sarcastically, reaching up her hands and only remembering that she was wearing mittens when she was already dragging the fabric across her eyes, stunning her for a moment with the unexpected texture. She felt something furry and warm on her shoulder, and shuddered uncomfortably as she finally managed to crack open her eyes.
She cringed as light flooded her vision, worsening the headache she hadn't even realized she had until it was ten times worse. Her entire body felt sore as well, and the girl entertained the idea for a moment that maybe she was actually sick, when memories of the previous day once again flooded her mind.
But of course it wasn't a dream… Sayori thought with a sigh. It's not like I expected to wake up back in Goro's apartment, since I've been living with Ann for so long now. Things haven't been that nice in a long time…
At least Sayori felt like maybe she had cried herself out for now, noticing that tears remained absent from her eyes… Though she still felt horrible, both in her body and in her mind.
"You awake," a childish voice asked, and Sayori glanced to her side to see that Morgana had been the warm and furry thing on her shoulder.
"Yeah… What time is it?" Sayori asked.
"About 10 in the morning. Everyone decided to let you sleep in today. It's just you, me, Akira, and Futaba… and Sojiro… and I think Sae got here a while ago, too. Everyone else went to school today," Morgana explained.
"Alright…" Sayori said, slowly getting up and stretching. Something sweet filled the air, and the girl breathed the scent in, before exhaling. The others were making breakfast, and whether or not it was meant to be a surprise, Sayori didn't really care. All she could bring herself to think about was that today was the day they would bring Shido to justice. She had no will to think of anything else, as the thought of fulfilling her promise… her obligation, was the only thing that made her able to stand.
She took off her school jacket, wrinkled and slightly smelly from the night basically trapped under the covers, and dropped it onto the ground. She straightened her skirt and dusted off her shirt, and began to look around for her shoes, slipping them on. She reached up to her head, realizing she had left her bow in her hair the night before. She cringed at the tangled knot in her hair, but only for a brief moment before shrugging. It's better than taking it off, I guess…
"Alright, Morgana, let's go eat," Sayori suggested, before leaving Akira's bedroom and heading downstairs. She could hear Morgana scramble and protest behind her, before the cat bolted down the stairs ahead of her. She sighed, stumbling down the stairs like a zombie.
The cafe was oddly quiet, and Sayori was admittedly unnerved as everyone's eyes immediately flashed over to her, examining her disheveled state in concern. Sayori knew that she looked like a wreck, but she honestly thought she would be more uncomfortable if she tried to appear clean and happy and fine in front of everyone else. They were all her friends, so they deserved to see how she was being affected.
I'll get a shower later, before we go to Shido's Palace, the girl decided, sitting down in one of the booth seats and grimacing as Sojiro a fried egg and miso soup in front of her, before going back to the kitchen area to prepare more coffee for the adults. Sae was sitting at one of the other tables, but had turned around to look at Sayori worriedly.
Makoto had called her sister the previous night to let her know she was staying the night at Akira's place, as well as what had happened to Goro, and the woman seemed to be having a hard time processing the information, looking tense and on edge, yet depressed and disappointed all in the same moment. The woman hadn't mentioned any of this to the teens, because she hadn't wanted to add any unnecessary pressure onto a task that had seemed so difficult, but she had really hoped that they would succeed in reaching out to Goro, and that she would be able to apologize for her own behavior towards him, along with question him. She had wanted to build a case to help defend him in court… But now there was no point, and Sae was having a hard time with that.
We all got our hopes too high… Sayori thought to herself, staring down at her food for a few minutes, knowing the fried egg would probably taste bad after cooling off, but not really caring as she tried to find her appetite.
I used to always be hungry… I even ate Goro's food, and even my own food, despite messing it up so often… Sayori thought to herself, trying to remember the feeling of actually being hungry, or at least bored enough to want to eat, but it didn't help.
"More in a mood for sweets today, maybe?" Sojiro observed, causing Sayori to blush in embarrassment and look away from her plate, not wanting to seem rude. "It's fine kid… But you really should eat. I could give the three of you kids money to go get donuts or something…"
"I'll be going to the Airsoft shop, anyway," Akira spoke up. "You could come with me, or just tell me what you want. There's a doughnut place somewhere in Shibuya. Not sure where… But I've seen signs for it."
"N-no… it's fine. I just… don't really want to eat, right now," Sayori admitted, knowing that everyone was probably going to scold her.
"Well, you should eat," Sojiro started, "But I'll let you realize that for yourself when you're walking around Tokyo with Akira, shopping without rest, making sure you have everything you need."
"Okay…" Sayori replied with a shrug. She would eat when she felt hungry, but now wasn't the time.
Sojiro frowned and closed his eyes tightly, and Sayori could tell that he was struggling with what exactly to say. It was hard, she expected, because it was so hard to find the fine line of expressing condolences and letting her know that what Goro had done was wrong. At least, that was the worst case scenario of why others had a hard time expressing grief to Sayori. Also, the thought of no one realizing what Sayori had gone through… Or no one even noticing that Goro Akechi was dead.
Still, Sojiro defied her expectations, but also didn't, leaving the girl feeling slightly better when he patted her on the shoulder and sighed heavily.
"I get that it's hard to take care of yourself, right now… So if it's hard to do it for yourself, then do it for him, and work your way towards doing it for yourself. After all, he wouldn't want you wasting away, right?" Sojiro said, his frown creasing his face as Sayori leaned back and touched the knot in her hair where her bow was tangled in. "It breaks my heart, what happened to him, you know? In the past month, I've had to deal with two teenagers dying… though Akira's death was faked. It makes me really feel like a failure, even if Akechi was never my responsibility, knowing that he died so young…"
"Oh… Okay," Sayori hiccuped, before closing her eyes tightly. She didn't really know what to say, or how to feel. "Thank you… for trying so hard, Sojiro," she said, testing out what words would be best.
The man nodded and left, and Sayri gulped, before attempting to eat the breakfast that had been made for her. She nearly gagged as she tried to swallow the egg, but tried to keep herself from having a negative reaction. If Sojiro made it, then it was bound to be delicious, after all.
"Your hands are shaking," Sae commented from where she sat, and Akira and Futaba both sighed and shook their heads,
"Sae, stop profiling her!" Futaba yelled.
"Sorry, but I was just making an observation," Sae said defensively. "I was told that you injured your hands, Sayori. Do they still hurt?"
"Not really… They're just really itchy," Sayori mumbled, resisting the urge to tear off the mittens and scratch at them. "Dr Takemi said that we'll have to clean them soon, right guys?"
"We were actually supposed to clean them a few hours ago," Futaba clarified, checking the time on her phone. "We'll get to it after we're all done eating, though."
"Alright…" Sayori agreed quietly. "And by the way, since you were talking about it, I'll go with you to get supplies and stuff today, Akira."
"Good, you can carry stuff in your bag then," Morgana said cheerfully. "I'll have a lot more room that way!"
"Wait… if you're going into the city with Akira, you shouldn't be wearing those clothes. You'd get recognized in your school uniform," Sae pointed out.
"Don't look at me," Futaba said, causing everyone to glance over at her in confusion. "Gah! I said don't look! All I was trying to say is that Sayori isn't small enough to wear any of my clothes!"
"Hm…" Sae hummed in thought for a moment as Sayori avoided making eye contact and focused on picking at the food on her plate. "Akira can lend her a pair of pants, and she can wear my jacket for today. That will be enough to hide her uniform at least. I recommend covering her head as well, though."
"She can borrow one of mine," Sojiro volunteered.
"No!" Futaba protested. "If it's the white one with the pink ribbon wrapped around it, then definitely not! She can have my pink winter hat. It will match the mittens anyway."
"I brought my own coat over yesterday, so I'll be fine outside," Sayori said quietly. "Thank you for helping me, everyone."
"It's not a problem," Sae said with a smile. "And I am happy that your hands are alright. I like to believe that time heals all wounds, but that requires patience and understanding from everyone… Not just the person who sustained the injury."
"...Right," Sayori replied, nodding slightly. The girl took her plate over to Akira, who quickly took it and began to wash it. Sae got up and took off the jacket that went with her suit, handing it over to Sayori.
Futaba got up from her chair and gently took Sayori's wrists. "Let's go upstairs and I'll start cleaning these… With Morgana's help." The cat grumbled a bit, but got back onto his feet and went back up the stairs to Akira's room. Futaba laughed at his crankiness, before lightly tugging Sayori along.
"I can look after Leblanc while you get Futaba's hat for Sayori," Akira told Sojiro. "Then when you get back I can look for a clean pair of pants…" Akira frowned and sighed, not at all liking the thought of having to do that. No one else was making a big deal out of it, though. It was only weird if he made it weird, and Sayori didn't need any weirdness right now.
"That sounds nice, but first," Sojiro walked over to Sae and shook his head. "You weren't very subtle when you were talking to Sayori a moment ago. 'Time heals all wounds…'? Come on, it was obvious to everyone you didn't just mean about her injuries."
"Again, sorry… I'm not exactly at my best right now," Sae looked down and closed her eyes, tiredly. "I'm not looking forward to going into work later… Surrounded by all these people that I know are working for Shido, and pretending like it's fine for me to work with them… Like I don't know Shido just became responsible for his own child's death, and all the other deaths he premeditated, and…" The woman sighed. "But I know that the sadness I feel right now is only a fraction of what all of these teens feel… Only a fraction of the heartbreak that Sayori feels right now, so…"
Sojiro mumbled something to himself, before trying to smile at Sae in reassurance. "Well, it's good to see that since the Phantom Thieves' little heist in your own Palace, you've matured a bit, Sae-san. You're taking the responsibility of an adult."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sae grumbled, causing Sojiro to chuckle as he walked out of Leblanc, going back to his home to find the hat that Futaba was talking about.
"You have a right to your feelings, though," Akira pointed out. "Akechi was your partner at work for a long time. You don't have to act like you're already in acceptance, when a lot of us are still in the stages of anger and depression."
"Anger, huh?"
"Yeah… Facing Shido is going to be difficult today. Would you get mad if Shido ended up dying?" Akira asked, genuinely curious.
"Why would you ask that?" Sae questioned, raising her eyebrow.
"Well, I was just thinking of when we faced Kamoshida a while ago. When Ann faced him after we beat him in a fight, we decided to let her choose whether Kamoshida lived or died. Obviously she didn't kill him, but right now after all that's happened...I'm not sure how everyone will feel later today… But we can't wait!" Akira explained, grimacing at his dilemma.
"Well, I'm not here as a prosecutor right now… I'm off duty. And as a prosecutor, I wouldn't really be able to get any evidence… Still, I would recommend that you try to prevent yourself or your teammates from doing… anything reckless," Sae said, before chuckling. "I was going to say 'anything you might regret,' but I don't think any of you would really regret killing Shido."
"Definitely not," Akira agreed. "We'll do our best…"
Sojiro walked back in after that, Futaba's hat bundled in his hands. "I'm back. Go on upstairs and check on Futaba and Sayori. I can hear Morgana making a lot of noise," Sojiro said, cringing at the loud, irritated sounds that the cat was making.
"He's just nagging Futaba about how to wrap Sayori's hands," Akira explained, able to understand what he was saying, unlike the two adults. "So I'm probably needed even more than." Aira took off his apron and hung it up. "Thanks for helping to make breakfast, Sojiro!"
"No problem!" Sojiro shouted back as Akira went upstairs.
Akira found Futaba nervously struggling to wrap Sayori's hands up tightly, while Morgana was trying, and failing, to instruct her how to do so. Meanwhile, Sayori was trying to smile supportively, though she cringed everything Futaba messed something up.
"Can you take over?" Futaba asked once she spotted the ebony haired teen. "I'll look for some pants for Sayori instead!"
"That's fine," Akira agreed, taking Futaba's spot on the floor and wrapping the bandages around Sayori's hands once again. "We'll be stopping by Takemi's again today, so she can check everything again."
"That sounds good," Sayori said in relief, grabbing the mittens and slipping them back on. Futaba shuffled back with a pair of Akira's pants and a belt, before grabbing Morgana and heading for the staircase. "Let's give Sayori some privacy, Akira!"
"Right," Akira said, standing up and looking at Sayori's random selection of clothing. He felt thankful that he had access to his own hoodie so that he could stay hidden.
After everyone left, Sayori quickly changed out of most of her clothes, only leaving on the white uniform shirt, which would be mostly covered up by Sae's jacket. She slipped on Akira's pants and sighed, as not even the belt was enough to keep the garment from slipping lower then it should go. Quickly improvising, the girl found an old ponytail holder in the pocket of her Shujin uniform's jacket pocket and used it to tie the waistband of the jeans tighter. She put on her shoes, Sae's jacket, her own coat, and slipped on Futaba's hat over her messy hair.
"I look and feel ridiculous," Sayori sighed, before grabbing her phone and heading back down the stairs. In the time she had been getting ready, Futaba had gotten busy with her laptop, working on a "surprise" that she would show to everyone later that afternoon. Akira was waiting with his hoodie pulled up, and his school bag dangling off of his shoulder, with Morgana poking his head out.
"Alright, let's go," Sayori said, heading for the door without saying goodbye, or even waiting for Akira. The boy quickly caught up to her and looked around, seeing if anyone had noticed them.
"Is there anywhere you want to go after we're done looking for supplies?" Akira asked after a moment, before freezing up. "I swear, not like that! I'm just making this weirder and worse!"
Sayori managed to smile and giggle slightly. "I know, Akira. I trust you, and I know you're not insensitive… But… what did you mean? I know you weren't suggesting a date or anything, but what options do I have?"
"Oh… that's good. And… I guess is there any shop, store, or place you want to go? Like, maybe somewhere that would help you relax before the heist tonight, or is there something that you think you need to do before then?"
Sayori looked down at the ground in thought. Goro said that if anything happened to him… I need to get a flashdrive from his apartment. But… I don't think I'm ready to do that, yet. Still, the reminder of what she needed to do stayed in the most visible corner of her mind, and Sayori was glad because that meant that she wouldn't forget later.
"After we're done, I think I'll want to stop by the bathhouse," Sayori requested. "I feel comfortable around you guys… Letting you see how horrible I feel… How much I don't have the motivation to look clean and well-kept, but I don't want to look that way when we go to Shido's Palace…"
Akira smiled. "Well said… But you don't need to give me a reason for going to the bath house. To be honest, you really need a shower." Sayori shoved him in the arm and he laughed.
"Anyway," Sayori said, irritated. "After that, I just want to spend some more time relaxing at Leblanc before tonight. I… don't feel like doing anything else. I'd just get sad."
"Alright," Akira agreed. He was about to start speeding up so that they could get to their destination faster, but was forced to hide his face when a cop walked by. Sayori followed suit, angling her face away from the cop and pulling down Futaba's hat.
This is going to be a long day, Sayori thought to herself, closing her eyes tightly. Still, she could also admit that she was feeling better to be doing something… and knowing that what she was doing was going to help in taking Shido down tonight. The anger and hatred she felt for the man had been muted since waking up that morning, along with the grief she still felt, but she knew later it would be at its full volume.
I may lose it tonight… But at least right now I can be helpful, Sayori thought to herself, feeling choked up at the thought that all they needed to do was send the calling card.It will all be over tonight… and then comes the even scarier part… What will I do next?
But she had her friends with her, and she knew that if she told them her feelings right now, they would just say to take one step at a time… Or more accurately, to take her time.
I can do that… One step forward, and I can avenge Goro… bring Shido to justice… move on with my life… go home…
All tonight…
The entire group was in the entrance area to Mementos. Futaba had set up recording equipment using her Persona. When she was satisfied, the girl got out a small remote and clicked a button. To bright spotlights powered on and shown over the group, replacing the red light of Mementos with a white light.
"Are you sure this is necessary?" Sayori asked, nervously hugging herself, before once again reminding herself that she had to pose confidently for the camera, along with speak up if he thought of anything to say about Shido. That won't give away Goro's part in all of this… That is another can of worms to get into after Shido has been convicted…
"What Being in Mementos? We want everyone to see us in our cool kicks, right?" Ryuji asked, as Makoto shook her head in disappointment.
"It will be harder for the authorities to ID us if we are wearing these," the girl corrected, before tilting her head at Sayori. "Why? Is something wrong?"
"N-no!" Sayori said defensively. "I guess I just… feel weird, being in here for some reason. I don't know why…"
"Maybe it's because the last time you were in here, you were having a traumatic break or something?" Morgana suggested, not looking sure himself.
"Yeah… Maybe…" Sayori trailed off as she stared at the camera. "I guess it could also be that I'm just a bit… camera-shy."
"How's that?" Akira asked, reaching over and adjusting the camera's angle so that it would focus less on her, standing all the way off to the side, and more onto him at the center. Futaba shot him a dirty look for messing with her equipment.
"No… Not like that kind of camera -shy… It's just… I have so much to say… I don't even know where to begin… and-" Sayori stopped herself as she realized how ridiculous she sounded. She didn't have to say anything if she didn't want to… Though everyone did think it would be a good idea for her to let out some of the feelings she was having now, that the Futaba Cannon would put on all of the screens of Tokyo.
"Hey, what were you going to say?" Haru said, keeping her voice soft and encouraging.
"I… I don't want Goro to be… forgotten," Sayori said, staring down at the ground. "I know that this isn't the time to bring it up… That Shido might use our words against us and pin all of the blame onto him… and then his death onto us… But-!"
"You won't let that happen," Makoto assured, patting her on the shoulder. "Sayori, you are a very emotional, compassionate person… and what I really admire about you is your control. There is a time and a place for everything, and I know that you are hurting… and you understand that, and you understand why it's not a good idea to talk about Akechi right now… Please, be strong for now, okay? We'll get Shido to confess his own sins with his own mouth…!" The brunette hugged Sayori tightly, before stepping back into her place in line.
"And for what it's worth, all of us will make sure that Goro isn't forgotten," Ann added, peeking her head out at the girl, before standing up straight in a confident stance.
Sayori nodded and took a deep breath, terrified of the idea of saying something wrong. She put her hands behind her back and stood up straight, trying to look as regal as possible.
"Okay, is everyone ready?" Futaba asked, standing up and going to her own spot, smiling as everyone hurried to get into position. She brought up another screen in front of her. "I'm starting the recording… Now!" Immediately, the screen disappeared, and the microphones pinned to all of the thieves began to pick up the sound of their silent breathing.
"Yo, what is up everybody!" Ryuji shouted to start them out, grinning widely.
"We are the ones who you all know as the Phantom Thieves," Yusuke said formally, feeling giddy. He almost wanted to bow, yet he knew the actual camera wasn't on, yet.
"And all of us are alive and kickin'!" Ryuji continued, before his voice went low. "But those shitty guys in power! They've been manipulatin' power to try and hide the truth."
"So, before we appropriate our next target," Ann began, "We would like to first borrow your time!"
"The recent scandals of public figures, the accidents caused by psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns…" Yusuke began
"The murders of countless people!" Sayori shouted, surprising even herself as everyone glanced at her and grinned. Haru did her best not to giggle as she put her hand on the girl's shoulder.
"These weren't caused by unknown reasons..." Yusuke smiled as he left the end open, which Sayori helpfully picked up for him.
"There is one man that planned every single evil act!" Sayori shouted, her heart pounding in excitement, "All to satisfy his own lust for power and control!"
"That man was afraid his crimes would be exposed and shifted the blame on us," Futaba spoke next, her voice sounding amused and mocking. "He even manipulated the police, and committed more despicable crimes!"
"We only steal the hearts of criminals," Ryuji shouted angrily, "But this asshole tried to dump what he did on us. That just shows he doesn't care about those victims at all!"
"We've seen what the inside of his heart looks like… And there is no room for anyone in there… Not for us, you people, or his own family and colleagues!" Sayori added, her heart that had been beating in excitement now feeling painful and sad.
"The identity of this cowardly, horrible man is a current cabinet member of all things," Yusuke said distastefully, deciding to finally name Shido. "He is the Minister of State for Special Missions, Masayoshi Shido!"
"Everything that guy says is a lie!" Futaba shouted, bringing up her screen once more and pressing a button. "And to prove that…" The camera came to life, and everyone stood still as it recorded them. "Look! As you can see, all of us are alive and kickin'! I'm sure the people investigating us can tell if this is a lie or not."
"Shido himself will soon confess all the crimes that he's committed," Ann said confidently.
"He won't leave a single thing out!" Sayori finished, blushing in embarrassment and shyness at being recorded, but not daring to move, as that would actually show up on camera.
"Please look forward to it, everyone!" Ann shouted as well, sending the camera a little wave.
"We're not gonna sit back and watch some crook wreck this country just 'cause of his goddamn ego," Ryuji snarled, putting his arm on Akira's shoulder and turning towards him. "Ain't that right… Leader?"
Akira stepped further into the light as the camera zoomed on his eyes. "Yes! Before that happens, we will take this country!"
The recording stopped after a few moments, and Futaba gave them all a thumbs up as she went over to her equipment. I can probably get everything edited together in a few minutes, then all that's left is to broadcast it. After we're sure the message has gone through, we should go to Shido's Palace. Be ready everyone!"
All of the Phantom Thieves nodded and waited as Futaba beamed up into her UFO. Sayori brushed her fingers through her slightly damp hair. Earlier, Ann had combed through it until it was silky and smooth, with not a single tangle in it. The model had then sprayed it with something to make Sayori's hair look incredibly shiny, and then delicately clipped the bow in. Sayori smiled at the care that had gone into it, knowing she looked ready to face whatever came next.
But am I really ready…?
Sayori gulped and took a deep breath, before going towards the stairway that would lead into the floors of Mementos. She didn't dare go in, knowing the dangers that waited within, yet staring into the inky darkness somehow gave her a sense of assurance. The Phantom Thieves had promised her that they would go into its depths to help her…
Yet, that doesn't even begin to describe why I feel… safe, looking into it… Assured, almost… Because I know I can do this, Sayori thought to herself, stepping away from the entryway and walking back towards the group. She noticed that Akira was glaring at something in the corner, near one of the walls on the side.
"Is everything okay?" Sayori asked.
"Yes, just thought I saw something… odd," Akira replied, taking his eyes off the blue door that led to the Velvet Room. Instead of one twin waiting by the door, both were, and they had been glaring at the entryway to Mementos ever since Sayori had stepped up to look at it.
"Are you ready for the heist?" the leader asked, even though they both knew that pretty soon there would be no going back.
"As I'll ever be…"
"And… done!" Futaba shouted, gathering up her equipment while Ryuji and Akira quickly disassembled the spotlights. "Let's get back so that we can broadcast this thing!"
Everyone nodded, and soon enough they were all waiting anxiously in Leblanc as Futaba typed away on her laptop, grinning and twitching as she started the broadcast.
Here we go… There's no going back… We're going to keep our promise…!
The city of Tokyo was abuzz as citizens crowded around the big screens on the buildings. The regular news was back on, but no one that had witnessed it would forget how, seconds before, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts had hijacked it, making a promise to all of them, and sending a calling card for all of them to see.
Standing in the crowds, unnoticed by almost all that passed her, was a black-haired girl carrying several grocery bags, She was also still glancing up at the screens, though at the same time she managed to keep walking in her intended direction. A calm smile was present on her face as she burned the picture of all of the Phantom Thieves, united and standing together, into her memory.
I hope you liked the chapter. Please let me know what you thought! We'll be getting to more exciting things next chapter, so look forward to that! See you next time!
