Azula paced in front of the mirror, a scowl twisted deep across her face. Tears stung her eyes. She let them sit there, burning. No point wiping them away when they would simply reappear moments later. Perhaps sleep might help clear her eyes? No, she couldn't sleep. Couldn't rest. She had to be prepared. Had to be on alert. Ready for anything.
"Like you..."
Azula ceased her pacing and looked to the mirror standing against the wall. The sight of herself deepened her frown. Her hair hung free around her shoulders, wild and disheveled with loose strands sticking out in all directions. Dark, heavy circles had set in beneath her eyes, painting her with a mask of exhaustion and death. Her skin, too. Normally pristine and perfect, now pale and faded. The simple red silk robe she wore hung loose on her shoulders, barely held together with its sash. She hadn't cared enough to properly tie it in place. What did it even matter?
She shifted her attention away from her reflection, deeper into the mirror. Towards the other figure standing behind her. That face. That sweet, mocking face that had haunted her for so long, now finally showing itself again. The woman didn't say anything, merely staring at Azula with her brow pushed together in some mocking form of sorrow. Oh, how it made Azula's blood boil.
"Don't you look at me like that," she said, stepping closer to the mirror. "I can see it in your eyes, what you think of me." Still no answer. Azula closed her own eyes and tugged at her hair, fingers tightening. "It doesn't matter what you think! Look at what I've accomplished! I'm stronger than I've ever been, the people love me, I am an empress!"
She snapped her eyes open again. The woman was still there, that same mocking expression creasing her face. "Are you proud of me, Mother?" Again, no response. Azula's scowl strengthened. "Say something! Are you proud of me?" Nothing. With a groan, she turned from the mirror and moved towards her dresser, holding herself against it with a shaky arm. "No, of course you're not. How could someone like you ever be proud of someone like me? Or love me..."
She swallowed the tightening knot in her throat, and pushed away from the dresser. A few shaky steps back to the mirror. A few deep breaths to settle herself. What would she see this time, when she looked? Ursa's reflection had vanished. No more Mother. A new figure stood there, looming over her shoulder with a wicked grin. Another face she knew well. Another face that ignited churning disgust in her gut. "And what about you, Father, hmm? Look at what I've done! The Earth Kingdom is mine, and I did it all without your help! Just like I did it without your help the first time."
Ozai remained silent. He stared, burning a hole through her with those critical, condescending eyes of his. Azula turned away and returned to her dresser, head bowed. Dark, wild hair fell around her face like a shroud. "But does that matter to you? No, of course not. I never mattered to you. Just as long as I was your good little prodigy, your weapon. Well guess what? I'm my own weapon now! I don't need you. I don't need anyone!"
No reply. Azula tilted a contemptuous glare over her shoulder, focusing again on the mirror. Focusing on her father. Searing fury boiled in her stomach, raging like fire into her throat with a scorching shout. "Stop staring at me and say something! What's wrong with you?"
Her fingers closed around a pair of scissors on her dresser. With a furious scream, she whirled around and threw the scissors with all her might. Glass shattered, spraying countless mirrored fragments outward onto the floor, and the dresser. Azula heaved deep, slow breaths, rage simmering with each intake of air. Watching, staring at the broken bits of mirror. Several lingering shards fell free, until silence once again returned to the room.
"I'll show you both," she muttered. "I'll show you all. This is my destiny, and I will seize it, no matter who gets in my way."
The doors to her bedchamber swung open. She stumbled back against the dresser and snapped her gaze towards the open doorway. Light from the corridor beyond seared into the darkened bedroom, forcing her to squint her eyes. A vague silhouette stood in the entrance, blurred in her vision.
"Who's there?" she said, venom biting in her tone. A blue flame sparked to life in her palm, while she shielded her eyes with her other arm. "Show yourself!"
The doors closed a moment later, returning the room to near darkness. "Easy, it's just me."
"Annie?" Azula lowered her arm and blinked. Lingering tears cleared away, returning focus to her vision. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you leave me alone."
"I know, I'm sorry," he said, with his arms raised in caution. He waited to approach until she dissipated her flame, leaving the bedchamber lit by only a pair of candles on her desk. "I just came to check up on you. I heard you speaking with someone, and thought you might be in trouble. So, here I am."
"Heard me speaking with..." Azula blinked again, eyes flaring wide. "How much did you hear?"
"Well, I mean, not that much..."
"That wasn't for you to hear!" she snapped, pointing a finger at him. "How dare you eavesdrop on me! How dare you—!" She paused, a hoarse gasp squeaking out her throat. Anger evaporated, replaced by a surge of panic and shock. "Wait, did they send you?"
Anraq lifted an eyebrow. "Did who?"
"They did! They turned you against me. They want you to stop me!"
"Azula, I'm not sure what—"
"You were going to assassinate me, weren't you? Or... or try to abduct me." Azula moved away from him, stumbling towards her bed. Her knees buckled, threatening to give out. With a desperate reach of her arms, she caught herself against one of the bedposts to keep from falling. The entire room spun, as a sharp throbbing pulsed between her ears. "You thought you could sneak up on me, but you were wrong!"
"What? No. Azula, I'm here because I'm worried," he insisted. "You're slipping. This whole Sun Warrior thing has you going crazy."
Fury returned, spinning her back around with a searing scowl that could have melted steel. "I am not crazy!"
"Okay, I'm sorry." Anraq held his hands up again and took a step backwards, creating distance between them. "That was a poor choice of words. I just... Is everything alright with you?"
"Everything is fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?"
"Maybe because you can barely stand? Or because you're talking to yourself in the mirror? Or because you're seeing things? Or because you haven't been sleeping? Or eating? Or taking care of yourself at all?"
"You don't know what you're talking about," she spat, with a harshness she hadn't expressed towards him since that day eight months ago when he'd called her a monster. "There's nothing wrong with me!"
Anraq took a cautious step towards her, gauging her reaction. When she made no attempt to keep him back, he continued until he stood only a few paces away. "I never said there was. I'm just worried about you. If you're having trouble working through some things, you can tell me. I'll listen."
She turned her back to him, glaring down at the floor. Her vision blurred out of focus. "I don't need help with anything. I don't need anyone. I'm fine on my own."
"Azula, please." Anraq closed the distance between them and placed his hands against her shoulders. She flinched at his touch, but he gave a reassuring squeeze. The desire to pull away vanished, and she relaxed. "If you keep this up, you're going to end up hurting yourself. Let me help you."
"I said I don't need help."
"I think you do. You just don't want to admit it." He moved around in front of her, so he could look her in the eye. "Asking for help when you need it doesn't make you weak. It makes you human."
Azula glared, deepening her scowl. "And what would you know about it? What do you even know about me? Nothing, that's what. So stop pretending like you do."
Anraq eased a deep, heavy sigh, carrying a mix of shame and acknowledgment. Still, he never took his eyes off her. "You're right, I don't know anything about you. Nothing beyond what I've read in history books, at least." He leaned closer, softening his expression with an earnest stare. "But I want to know. Tell me, please. Let me understand what you're going through so I can help."
She swallowed another lump in her throat, staring back at him curiously. Spirits, he sounded so sincere. Compassionate, even. Could he be telling the truth? Did he really want to learn more about her? Did he really want to help her?
"No..." she muttered, taking a staggering step backwards. Her voice shot again with renewed distrust. "No this is a trick. You want the information so you can use it against me. You want to end me, just like all the others!"
"I want to help you!" He took another step towards her. "Why won't you open up to anyone, Azula? Are you afraid, is that it?"
"I'm not scared of anything!"
"You say that, but I don't believe you. What is it, Azula? What are you so afraid of?"
Azula wandered towards the shattered mirror, grabbing hold of her hair with both hands. She squinted her eyes shut, fighting to quell her stinging tears. "You don't care! Not really. Not about me."
Anraq stood stiff, eyebrows furrowing with concern. "Why would you think that? Why wouldn't I care?
"Because nobody cares! Nobody ever cared!" A shuddering breath quivered out of her throat. She pulled at her hair, raking her fingers through the knotted locks. Rage faded, cooling into a trepidatious calm. When she spoke again, her voice squeaked out in little more than a soft whisper. "My mother didn't care. She hated me, thought I was a monster. Then she replaced me with a new daughter, because I wasn't good enough. My father never cared, either."
She puffed a scoffing laugh out her nose, and shook her head. "Oh, I thought he did. I was his perfect child, his prodigy. But that's all I ever was to him. In the end, he pushed me away too, just like he did to Zuko. I was nothing to him." She bowed her head, another sigh hissing from her throat. "Mai and Ty Lee never cared. They turned on me. Betrayed me, just like everyone else. And Zuzu? Ha! He says he cares, but I know what he really thinks of me deep down. He had me thrown in an institution. Do you know the kinds of things they did to me in there? I didn't deserve that!"
Azula stood in silence, breathing in deep, slow, steady. Annie didn't say anything. He watched her, waited. The silence lingered, thick and heavy, until she finally looked up at him. No matter how she tried to hide it, a deep pain quivered in her golden eyes. "And now you. I should have known. I tried to be nice, to be normal. Friendly. I thought maybe just once if I tried something other than fear, I could get someone to actually care. To like me." She squinted her eyes shut, and smacked her palms against the sides of her head. "What an idiot I was! I just keep making a fool of myself in front of you. I see it in your eyes, how I revolt you."
When she opened her eyes, her gaze found one of the larger shards of broken mirror on her dresser. She grabbed it, and looked down at her reflection. Wet streaks glistened along the sides of her face. A shuddering jolt tore through her at the sight. She was crying? No, she couldn't be crying. She couldn't be showing weakness!
She tore her attention away from the tears, focused on her entire face. Disdain strengthened. So many years, and still she looked the same. Still, she was young. Too young for Annie to take seriously. That's why he never accepted her, why any attempts at winning him over failed, why he spurned even the smallest of advances with confusion and contempt. Even when she did things right, she made no progress. "It's not my fault I look this way, you know. I don't have any other face!"
She threw the shard across the room, where it further shattered into smaller pieces. "Now it's too late. You don't care about me. You don't even fear me. How could I be so stupid?"
"Azula..." Anraq's voice faded, further words lost to him. He watched Azula as she slumped against her dresser, shoulders slouched and head hanging. Spirits, there was so much pain in her. She held her arms close around herself, desperate for some kind of embrace, for reassurance. Trying so hard not to cry. To not show weakness. Despite her efforts, tears seeped from behind her closed eyes, streaking down her cheeks. This wasn't the Azula he had come to know over the past year. This wasn't the confident, domineering woman who has restored the Earth Kingdom, and begun an empire. This was a broken, frightened girl who had been hurt far too many times in her life. This was a girl who needed help.
Anraq moved next to her, but kept a small distance between them, to give her space. With his own head bowed, he too grabbed one of the broken shards of mirror and stared into it. "You're right, I don't fear you. Your whole life you've relied on fear to control people, haven't you? So when there's someone or something you can't control with fear, it scares you."
The statement applied not only to himself, but to the Sun Warriors most of all. The Sun Warriors, who had thus far broken Azula into a paranoid mess. She couldn't control them, not through fear nor any other means, and that had to terrify her. Azula made no denial, merely turning her head so he couldn't see her tears.
"But if I'm not afraid of you, why would I still be here?" He turned to her, inching forward. She didn't pull away, so he reached out to her, squeezing a gentle hand against her shoulder. Ever so slowly, she looked back at him, until their eyes met. "I'm here because I believe in you, because I can see there's more to you than the cold, cruel wall you live behind. I'm here because in the past eight months you've managed to do what I thought was impossible: you changed my mind about you. You made me see that there is good in you, no matter how far down it might be buried. I'm here because I do care about you. I'm here because I can see you're in pain, and trying to face it yourself is tearing you up inside."
He brought both hands to her shoulders, gently turning her to face him. He stared deep into her eyes. They were sticky and bloodshot, and sank in a way that told him she didn't believe what he was saying, but she didn't look away. "You don't have to face it alone, Azula. You don't have to be alone, not if you don't want to. You just have to let yourself open up."
Azula stared a moment longer, blinking with uncertainty. Pulling away from his grasp, she staggered back towards the mirror, holding one hand up against the side of her face. "No, you're wrong. I've always been alone. No matter how many people are around me, I'm still alone. I always will be."
"Azula, you're only as alone as you choose to be." He stood behind her, waiting, watching. He couldn't force her to accept his help, but if she needed him, he was there. "If you want something more in your life, you have to stop being afraid of it. I don't want to see you hurting anymore. I want to see you heal. Please."
Azula remained silent, staring down at the mess of shattered glass at her feet. How strange. Annie actually sounded sincere. So eager to help. No matter. She couldn't let him. Couldn't accept it, couldn't even imagine. How could he actually care? No one had ever cared, not about her. Why start now? No... No, she would always be alone. With a deep breath, she steadied her nerves and wiped her face dry. Enough weakness for one day. When at last she composed herself, she turned back to Anraq with a simple frown.
"Just go, Annie." Her voice leaked out, hoarse and soft, little more than a whisper. "I know you don't really want to be here. You never did."
Anraq remained adamant, and shook his head. "No, Azula. I don't think you understand. There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now than at your side. That's not going to change, regardless of what you think. You're my friend. I'm not going to abandon you."
"My friend?" Azula puffed out a small scoff. "I don't have friends."
"You do," he said, with an insistent shrug. "And they care about your well-being. Please, if you won't let me help you, at least get some sleep. It's been days."
Azula shifted her gaze towards her bed. The thought of lying beneath the soft silken sheets, curled against her pillow, drifting off into that calming abyss... It did sound enticing. Her attention lowered to the glass again, causing a frustrated sigh to surge out her throat. "I've made a mess. I need to clean it."
"I'll clean it." Anraq was already on his knees, carefully picking up the larger fragments and setting them aside. For the smaller shards, he removed them from the carpet with his water, and bended them into the waste basket next to the dresser. "You just get some rest."
She watched him a moment, and her eyes softened. He didn't need to do that, and yet he did so anyway, without hesitation. Without even being asked. Why? Was he really that eager to help her? Did he care about her, like he said? Surely, he couldn't. Such a thing shouldn't be possible, not with her. And yet... maybe she could trust him?
As Anraq continued to clean the mess, Azula wandered over to her bed and sat at the edge of the mattress. Now that their conversation was finished, now that she had calmed herself, exhaustion returned stronger than ever. Spirits, Annie was right. She needed sleep. With tired eyes, she blinked towards her bodyguard one more time.
"After you finish with that.." She paused, turning her gaze away briefly in hesitation. "Will you stay with me? To guard me, I mean."
He glanced back at her, but didn't say anything. They shared a quiet look, locked together in a moment of mutual understanding. Calmness wrapped over the bedchamber, the warmth of loved ones embracing in earnest reassurance. Azula's heart calmed, pulsing at ease.
"I will," Anraq said, with a stern nod. "All night."
When Azula opened her eyes, she found herself engulfed in darkness. Not the darkness of her bedchamber. A different sort. Thick, choking fog swirled around her, curling across her limbs like undead fingers reaching out to grab hold of her. She swatted the fog away and began walking, stumbling through the void. Why wasn't she in bed? Where was she?
Within moments, she tripped out of the fog and fell to her knees. A shimmering light flickered through the darkness ahead of her. She focused on it, squinting her eyes. Darkness faded, burned away by the bright glow to reveal a towering stone spire that stretched into the inky sky above. A familiar spire. Terribly, frighteningly familiar. No. That couldn't be right. She couldn't be back here!
"Azula..."
The cold, silky voice echoed as if from all around her. She focused on the light, emanating from glowing glyphs emblazoned upon a sealed door on the wall of the spire. Nausea crashed into her gut, bubbling sickness into her throat. No... How could she be here?
"Welcome back, Azula," the voice called. "It has been so long."
"This isn't real," she muttered, scrambling to her feet. "I'm not here. This a dream!"
"But Azula, what separates a dream from reality? How is it any different to your mind?"
"You stay away from me, spirit!" Azula turned from the spire and ran into the fog. "You won't take me!"
A sinister cackle echoed through the air, following her no matter how fast she ran. "It is only a matter of time before we meet again, face to face. When we do, you will return what you stole from me. Then, you will be punished for ever believing you could betray one of the most ancient spirits in all creation."
"No! You can't have it! You can't have me!" Azula kept running, never slowing, never looking back. It made no difference. The voice still found her.
"Poor, fragile Azula," the spirit chortled. "No matter where you run, no matter where you hide, the Spirit of a Thousand Faces will find you."
"No..." Azula moaned, clutching her pillow close against herself in a death grip. "No... Stay away..."
Anraq watched her as she slept. Please, let her be okay. For the past hour, she had been muttering about some spirit to leave her alone. A nightmare, perhaps? He dared not wake her. She needed rest, even if it wasn't the most peaceful sort. Eventually, Azula's grumbling faded and she rolled over, quiet. Hopefully, that meant her dreams had become a little sweeter.
With a quiet sigh, Anraq turned himself in his chair and leaned over Azula's desk. The haze of exhaustion lingered over his own mind, but he pushed through it. He couldn't sleep, not while on guard duty. With a quiet sigh, he reached into the folds of his Fire Nation robe beneath his armor and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Well, not paper exactly. An old photograph. A younger version of himself stared back, only twenty years old. So long ago, before he'd even grown in his beard. That wasn't why he kept the picture. He kept it because of the young girl with scruffy brown hair held in his arms, smiling brightly at the camera
Kanna.
This was the only picture he had of her, taken shortly before they had left Republic City to return to the South Pole. He always carried it with him, although for the longest time he'd never been able to bring himself to look at it. Too painful to see her so happy. Too painful to relive those final moments of her life. Since the Red Lotus incident, with Yuruk finally taken care of again, after finally finding the peace within himself to move on, he'd found the strength to look at the photo again. To remember her.
"Love you, Sweet Pea," he said, with a gentle smile. "Always will."
Azula awoke with a start, bolting straight upright in bed. Cold sweat beaded across her forehead, while her lungs heaved with deep breaths. As her nerves began to settle, she flicked her gaze around to room. Back in her bedchamber, safe and sound. No more fog. No more spire. No more dark spirits. How long had she been running through that abyss? Felt like days. Weeks, even. Too long. At least now she was safe, for the time being.
Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Azula bellowed a deep yawn and stretched her arms outward. Unexpected energy surged her further awake, any traces of her previous exhaustion long since faded. No telling how long she'd been asleep, but her body felt more refreshed now than it had been in ages. When she stood up, she glanced across the room and noticed a familiar man slumped across her desk, the side of his face pressed flat atop the surface. A warm pulse lifted in her chest. So, Annie had stayed after all. Just like he'd said he would. Even if he had fallen asleep in the process...
She made her way towards the desk, watching him closely. He barely moved, his chest lifting with deep, slow breaths. Had he been anyone else, she would have been furious that someone assigned to guard her had fallen asleep on the job. Annie, on the other hand, filled her with a fluttering sense of amusement. He really could be such a dunce sometimes, and spirits help her she found it endearing.
Her gaze shifted, noticing a half-folded piece of paper clutched in Annie's fingers. With a curious raise of her brow, she snatched it into her own grasp. Not paper at all, but a photograph. A younger Anraq stared at her with a beaming smile. She smirked back at him. This wasn't just a different Anraq in age. His eyes were brighter than she'd ever seen them, sparkling as much as they could in black and white, rich with joy and excitement. Strange. She'd seen him smile numerous times before, but never capturing the same spark she saw in this picture.
Understanding tore through her a moment later, when she noticed the young girl held lovingly in his arms. The girl couldn't have been more than a few years old, smiling even brighter than Annie with her arms wrapped around him in a tender embrace as she laughed at the camera. Unfamiliar emotion ripped through Azula's chest. Her smirk vanished, twisting into a distant frown. How stupid. Why would a silly picture of a silly child make her feel so... what did she even feel? Sad? Sorrowful? She didn't even know this child.
A distant memory washed through her mind. A conversation she'd almost forgotten, so many months ago. She remembered this child. This girl. She was Annie's daughter, wasn't she? The one he'd lost. A tight knot bounced in Azula's throat. She swallowed it down. How wonderful for this child to have had a father who loved her, and who missed her now that she was gone. Azula had never been so lucky. Her own parents wouldn't have cared when she vanished so long ago. She knew that much. They had been terrible, loveless parents. But Annie... Annie was everything a good parent should be.
Azula huffed out a lengthy sigh as she slipped the photograph back into Anraq's hand. She paused, and gently smacked the man across the cheek. "Wake up, Annie."
Anraq jumped up in his seat with a startled gasp. He raised his hands in defensive posture, eyes wide on alert. "Who—where—what? What's going on?"
"You fell asleep, Dumdum," she said, with a gentle sigh.
He blinked, and rubbed his eyes. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I guess I was more tired than I thought."
"It's fine," she said, sitting against the edge of the desk. "I got plenty of sleep, myself."
"Oh, well that's good." Anraq held a hand over his mouth and yawned. "Glad you're feeling better."
Azula's focus wavered towards the photo still clutched in Annie's fingers. "So, was that her? Your daughter, I mean."
Anraq flinched, lifting the photo up to meet his gaze. He breathed deep, easing out a long sigh. "Yeah... yeah, she was."
"What was her name?"
"Oh, uh, Kanna," he replied, lifting an eyebrow in her direction. No doubt, he hadn't actually expected her to ask about his daughter.
Azula pursed her lips. "I see. Not a bad name, I suppose. What was she like?"
"She... I mean, she was great," he said, still stunned in apparent surprise over Azula's questioning. "She was such a curious kid. Adventurous. She loved the outdoors, especially when it snowed. We used to make snowmen together, although she always said I was cheating when I used waterbending to help. She loved listening to stories, too. I used to act out the scenes for her, she always got a kick out of that. And her laugh... Man, if her laugh couldn't melt your heart, you didn't have one."
Anraq's expression grew brighter the more he spoke about Kanna. His smile curled wider, and a delighted gleam sparked in his eyes. The same gleam as in the photo. Without even knowing why, Azula found herself smiling in return.
"She sounds like a nice girl," Azula said.
"She was," he said, with quiet laugh. "She really was."
"What happened to her?"
Anraq's smile vanished, shifting into an empty, forlorn frown. "It was Yuruk. He bloodbent her trying to get at me, and he went too far. It only took instant, and then... then she was gone."
Azula looked away. Cold, harsh regret frosted into her chest at the sight of Annie's broken expression. Curse her, she shouldn't have asked. "I'm sorry."
"S'alright," he said, with a simple shrug. "Was a long time ago."
Azula folded her arms. Where did she go from here? Could she really trust this man? Could she risk opening herself to him? Trust was for fools. That had always been her belief, and yet Annie wasn't like the others. This absolutely sweet and pathetic man. She wanted to be wrong. She wanted to trust him.
Did that make her a fool, then?
"Annie," she said, her voice cracking with uncertainty, "there's something I need to tell you."
He raised a brow at her, and sat straighter in his seat. "Oh, alright. What is it?"
"These Sun Warriors, this Shin Tsang... I think there's more to them than what they say."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I think Shin Tsang is working for someone else. Something else."
Anraq cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowed curiously. "Okay, and what would that be?"
Azula held her arms around herself, letting her gaze fall to the floor. "The answer to that is complicated. There are things you need to know."
"I'm listening. You can tell me anything."
"I'll have to start from the beginning." She lifted her gaze towards his. When their eyes met, she breathed deep, steeled her nerves, and straightened her posture. She may have lowered herself to asking for help, but that didn't mean she had to look weak while doing it. She could still compose herself. "It's a long story."
He nodded, absently reaching out to take one of her hands in his own. "What kind of story?"
"The story of what happened to me..." Azula forced herself to swallow the knot in her throat, to clear her mind. When Annie's hand found her own, she tightened her grip, giving him a gentle squeeze. "...after I died."
