Author's Notes:

PAIRINGS: Leorio/Kurapika (Leopika).

RATING: Mature.

SPOILERS? Yes, until chapter 390 of the Hunter x Hunter manga by Yoshihiro Togashi. You may want to click off until you've caught up with the Succession War Arc, or have decided that you don't care. I do attempt to explain the context for the uninitiated.

Special thanks to Caasi for answering my therapy-related questions and for just generally being my favorite person that I've met in the year of our Lord 2020.


Chapter 45: Moon colors, lunar phases

The next morning, Kurapika brews coffee for the both of them. When Leorio inquires if he can help with anything, Kurapika asks him to pick up the mail outside.

Leorio heads out to fetch the mail. There are a few bills, a postcard from Basho and Bill that features a jagged mountain biking trail, and a fat letter signed with a name that makes Leorio gape in shock.

Back inside the house again, Leorio brings up the letter right off the bat.

Kurapika doesn't even glance up from the boiling liquid in the pot. "Yes, I've been expecting that to come any day now." Leorio is still staring askance at him, so Kurapika hastens to add, "Hisoka and I, we've stayed in touch since the war ended."

Leorio pauses to manage the sudden turbulence of his thoughts. What should he even say? He doesn't want to sound controlling or possessive when Kurapika only recently agreed to be in a relationship with him, literally just the night before. But Leorio hates to imagine someone so dangerous still associating with Kurapika, especially if that person happens to be Kurapika's only ex-boyfriend. . . .

When Kurapika notices that Leorio has gone quiet, he abandons the coffee to embrace Leorio. "If it bothers you, I'll stop writing him back. Just say the word, and I'll do it."

"You will?"

"Of course. Your peace of mind is my priority. I want you to feel secure with me, Leorio."

Touched by these words, Leorio pats Kurapika's hair, which is still somewhat damp from their shared bath earlier. Kurapika nuzzles against Leorio's chest, sighing in satisfaction as Leorio continues petting his head.

Leorio looks down at Hisoka's letter in his other hand. He turns it over, curious now. "What does Hisoka even write to you about?"

"You can read it, if you want."

"Really?"

"You can read any of his letters to me," Kurapika assures him. "They might not be what you're expecting."

Kurapika steps backward so that Leorio can open the bulky envelope. A shriveled something tumbles out between them.

Leorio wrinkles his nose in disgust. "Yuck! What the hell is that?"

Kurapika kneels to examine the fallen object. It's some sort of . . . oversized insect claw? "Hmm. Did this come with a picture?"

Leorio takes out the letter from the envelope. Tucked inside the folded sheets of paper is a photograph of Hisoka hamming it up for the camera. A dead bug about the size of his forearm dangles from his sharp fingernails.

"Guess that answers your question," Kurapika says once Leorio shows him the photograph. "It looks like a regional variant of the notorious Chimera Ant, doesn't it?"


This isn't how Leorio envisioned spending their first morning together as a couple, but he supposes that he can withstand just about anything if Kurapika is spooning him in bed the entire time, progressively peeling off items of clothing to trail his velvet touch over Leorio's skin.

As Kurapika's hands wander, Leorio lounges over the pillows and goes through the shoebox of Hisoka's letters. There are photographs here too, as well as the occasional gruesome knickknack.

Hisoka's missives are all rambling accounts of monster-hunting and tree-scaling adventures, where he will often forget to tell the endings of prior stories in order to embark on newer tales, only to pick up the abandoned plot threads in later letters, presumably in response to Kurapika's reminders. As for the accompanying photographs, they depict the carnivorous wildness of the flora and fauna of the Dark Continent — all in differing states of vitality after Hisoka has finished toying with them.

"I hate to admit this," Leorio says, just as Kurapika is tugging down his boxers, "but setting aside the gag-inducing photos of decapitated or dismembered beasts, Hisoka's stories are actually weirdly interesting."

"Aren't they? I've been attempting to convince him to allow me to organize and compile his letters into a published volume or two. With substantial edits in the interests of clarity and chronology, his zoological and botanical research is doubtlessly scientifically valuable."

"If you need to interview him or something down the line, just remember to take me along with you."

"Don't tell me you actually miss Hisoka?" Kurapika teases.

Leorio snorts loudly. "That damn clown has gloated in front of me enough. I still need to return the favor. I'll give him something to be jealous about."

Positioned between Leorio's legs now, Kurapika only smiles and pushes back his blond hair with his hand. He ducks down, laying breathy kisses over Leorio's inner thighs.

Leorio tosses Hisoka's letter aside, shoves the shoebox off the edge of the mattress.


Half a year passes. Leorio, living up to his designation as Disease Hunter, has been religiously researching the adverse effects of Nen contracts and conditions, with a particular emphasis on the physiological and pathological impacts on the Nen users executing and adopting such.

A few years ago, Leorio nearly lost his friend Gon to a Nen contract gone terribly wrong. That harrowing experience — watching the most vibrant person he's ever known withering beyond recognition over his hospital bed — is one Leorio won't soon forget. Certainly, Gon won't be the last Nen user to push beyond his body's limitations in this manner. For the sake of those who may, in the future, be similarly tempted by a bloody mission for revenge, or by a quest for victory no matter the cost, Leorio is determined to expose the hidden malignance behind these contracts and conditions.

But of course, beyond all that, Leorio is hunting for the elusive cure that may perhaps save the only person he's ever loved.

Kurapika's body and lifespan may already be permanently, irreversibly damaged by his abuse of Emperor Time in the past. Leorio knows this. According to Kurapika's calculations — too convoluted with contingencies for Leorio to completely comprehend — Kurapika will die within the next three to five years, in the absolute worst-case scenario.

No matter how much it pains Leorio to picture this tragic ending unfolding, he just has to accept the probability. He has to risk it. He's ready to risk everything just to be by Kurapika's side.

With utmost caution, and with a known remedy or reversal agent always at hand, Leorio has been testing out a variety of therapeutic treatments and healing techniques on Kurapika. He then monitors and records Kurapika's health metrics — temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate, among others — every night before they go to bed together.

For his part, Kurapika actually seems to savor the ritualistic nature of these checkups with his personal physician, which are always conducted in the privacy of their home. Sometimes, Kurapika just sits back and closes his eyes, allowing Leorio to handle his body and prod him with medical instruments as he pleases.

For an admittedly unprofessional reason, Leorio has taken to leaving the neurological aspect of his physical examination for last. Kurapika will occasionally incorporate this portion of the checkup into their foreplay — once Leorio taps Kurapika's knee with the reflex hammer, Kurapika will kick obediently, then not-so-obediently rub Leorio's crotch with his foot.

The first few times this happened, Leorio waggled a disapproving finger at Kurapika, who only regarded Leorio's furiously blushing face with amusement. But once Leorio clued in to a surprising fact — namely, that the aggressive satiation of Kurapika's sex drive is one of the only things that can consistently improve his health metrics across the board — Leorio chalked it up to an occupational hazard and permitted Kurapika to carry on.

For the both of them, this doctor-patient dynamic is a guilty pleasure, one of their favorite games to play in bed.


This is all well and good, but for the past few weeks, Kurapika has been coming home later and later, seemingly wrapped up in the work of further reinforcing Nostrade's rising reputation among respectable business circles. These late arrivals keep pushing back their regular checkups deeper into the night, until one day, Kurapika gets home well past dawn.

Despite the zombie-like look in Kurapika's eyes, he brushes off Leorio's concerns and insists on driving Leorio to work the same way he does every morning. He even sends Leorio off with one of his usual goodbye kisses — long and indulgent — which are allegedly meant to energize Leorio as he zips around the hectic halls of the hospital.

By this point of their relationship, Leorio has learned to respect Kurapika's need to process things at his own pace — trusting Kurapika to open up to him at the right time and place — but the recent repercussions of Kurapika's late nights on their medical routine forces Leorio to put his foot down this time. Leorio decides to broach the subject that very night.

For the first time in weeks, instead of sending Linssen in his place, Kurapika himself shows up to fetch Leorio from the hospital after his shift. Melody is in the car as well, pleasantly conversing with Kurapika from the backseat.

When they reach Melody's house, she leans close to the driver's seat and whispers something to Kurapika. She then exchanges a meaningful look with Kurapika, via the rearview mirror, before waving to Leorio and alighting from the car.


Back home, Leorio hits the shower, first things first. He lets the gushing water cool his head before he goes to look for Kurapika again, ready to resolve things now. Leorio can't permit this peculiar new distance between them to widen any further.

Leorio finds Kurapika in the living room, curled up with his law books in preparation for his exams next month. Leorio sits on the other end of the couch and doesn't mince his words now. "Kurapika, we need to talk."

Kurapika closes his black book of criminal code provisions. "Yes. Let's talk."

"What's been going on with you lately? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Well . . . I've been planning to take a trip this weekend. Will you be available to accompany me?"

Leorio's eyes widen. A weekend trip? As busy as they both are, they've never taken a trip alone together before. Even though Leorio still doesn't know what to make of Kurapika's recent behavior, there's no way he can deny this opportunity. "Of course I'm coming along! I'll have to trade shifts with someone, but I can make it happen, easy."

"I'm glad. I was hoping you could come, Leorio."

"Wherever you want to go, Kurapika, I'm there. So where are we going?"

Kurapika's voice turns softer now, soft enough that Leorio needs to move closer to decipher what he's saying. "We're going to the place where I buried my clan. For their death anniversary, I want to pay my respects . . . and I want to introduce you to all of them."

"Oh." Leorio isn't sure about what expression to show, but when in doubt, it's usually a good idea to hold his boyfriend, to keep him in the closest possible proximity. Leorio extracts Kurapika from his fort of law books and transfers him to his own lap. "I can't wait to meet them all. Their death anniversary — is it this Saturday? Or this Sunday?"

Kurapika presses his face against Leorio's neck. His voice comes out muffled. "Yesterday."

An uncomfortable silence follows.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Leorio asks eventually. "Is this why you worked through the night yesterday, then came home at dawn?"

Kurapika doesn't say a thing, doesn't even seem to be breathing. His body is motionless against Leorio's chest, so Leorio commences stroking his back, trying to get him to relax.

"Kurapika? Kurapika, it's okay. It's all going to be okay. I'm here. I've got you."

Swathed in Leorio's warmth like this, the icy rigidity of Kurapika's body slowly melts, until Leorio feels tears spilling freely over his collarbone. Kurapika is shuddering now, allowing himself to break down in the safety of Leorio's arms. Leorio continues caressing Kurapika's back, continues whispering assurances.

It's a while before Kurapika calms down enough to form words. "I'm sorry, Leorio. Regardless of how long ago I lost them, this time of the year never gets any easier. I wanted to tell you — I knew I should explain why I was being so strange — but I didn't know where to start. Yesterday, I buried myself in work the same way I always do, but of course yesterday was a thousand times worse than every other day of the year. Before I knew it, it was four in the morning. Everyone else was gone from the office. I think . . . I think I was just afraid I'd burst into tears in front of you and drive you away with my neediness. But here I am anyway, sobbing all over you."

Leorio takes Kurapika's face between his palms and stares deeply into those damp brown eyes. "Hey. You can never ever drive me away. You're stuck with me now. I'm like a leech, sucking on your skin so hard that you can't shake me off. You got that?"

Kurapika gives him a shaky smile. "Got it. Thank you for bearing with me."

"You don't have to thank me. As your boyfriend, it's my job to hold your hand through all the good stuff and bad stuff. Especially the bad stuff."

Kurapika bumps their foreheads together, gently. "You want to know something, Leorio? Something I can't stop thinking about? They would have loved you, I'm sure. My mother, my father. I can picture the scene perfectly — my parents begging me to ask you for your hand in marriage, anything to lock down this big-city doctor and keep him as a part of our family forever. You would be my parents' favorite son, and I wouldn't even care. You're my favorite person too, after all."

"Ah, come on," Leorio says, shy now.

"I'm serious, Leorio. Do you truly understand how much you mean to me? After I'd lost everything, I believed that home was a place I could only visit in my dreams. I thought I'd have to die to be with my family again. But here you are now."

In no time at all, Leorio is the one bawling like a baby, while Kurapika is kissing away his tears like he always does.


At the forest burial site of the Kurta clan, Kurapika points out each individual tombstone — every inscription etched in a child's clumsy but earnest scrawl — and tells Leorio a little bit about the clan member sleeping six feet beneath. There are over a hundred and twenty graves here.

"You may have noticed that, in some places, the soil has been more recently disturbed," Kurapika says. "That's because I had to come back numerous times in order to return the new heads I'd found to their proper owners. As for the scarlet eyes, it was impossible to tell them apart, so I buried them all together in a single location."

Leorio can't figure out how to respond to this information, but as long as he's holding Kurapika's hand, he knows that Kurapika understands that he's just here. Here to listen. Here to help him through this.

When they reach the last grave, Kurapika crouches down and rests his palm over the tombstone. "Leorio, I'd like you to meet Pairo."

"Pairo," Leorio echoes. He recognizes those two syllables from the myriad times that Kurapika has said them in his sleep, although he's done it less and less often lately. It somehow never occurred to Leorio that Pairo was a name.

"Pairo was my childhood friend and first love."

Leorio crouches down beside Kurapika. "I'll bet that Pairo was a wonderful person."

"He was indeed. Pairo was one of the bravest, most resilient people I've ever known. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more loyal and reliable companion. As young as he was, he didn't hesitate to endanger himself to save my life. When I left the clan, I was determined to search for a doctor who could treat the injuries that Pairo incurred just to save me." Kurapika glances over at Leorio now. "I have to wonder, sometimes. Perhaps, even after I lost Pairo and everyone else, I was always keeping an eye out for a doctor like that. The type of doctor who would move heaven and earth just to save someone, even if they had nothing to gain from it."

Leorio shuffles sideward to wrap his arm around Kurapika's shoulders. "Tell me more about Pairo."

"Pairo . . . he dreamed of adventure, the same way I did. We always planned to explore the world together, but in the end, I went ahead. Pairo understood. He always wished for the best for me. To Pairo, it wouldn't matter how many times I've fallen, or failed, or fucked up. The only thing he's ever wanted for me is a life where I can say, decisively, that I've had fun at the end of the day."

Leorio squeezes Kurapika's shoulder. "Pairo must be proud of you, then."

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so, with every bone in my body," Leorio declares. "You've turned your life around, Kurapika. Okay, maybe not every day is fun and games, but every day you try a little harder to let go of the things that are holding you back. I'm always beside you, so I've seen all your efforts — and all their results — firsthand."

Leorio stares down and presses his free hand over Pairo's tombstone now. "Pairo! I promise to try my best to make Kurapika's life as fun as possible! I'll take him to the beach so we can swim together! I'll take him to the park with picnic baskets I've prepared! I'll adopt a kitten that can keep him company when I have to go away for medical conferences! Kurapika and I will take more weekend trips together, just like this one! We'll ride airships, we'll go on adventures! I'll do whatever it takes, so please rest easy and entrust Kurapika to me from now on!"

Noticing that Kurapika's shoulders are shaking somewhat, Leorio checks his face, concerned that he's started crying.

But Kurapika isn't in tears at all. Instead, he's trying to smother his laughter, and looking at Leorio with so much love that it steals away the breath from Leorio's chest.

"Pfft. When I'm with you, Leorio, I probably have too much fun."


On the drive back from the airport, Leorio tells Kurapika about Pietro. It's been so long since he's really spoken to anyone about his dear friend. Together, he and Pietro were widely dubbed the biggest brats of the neighborhood, always kicking a ball around and "accidentally" breaking the windows of their stingiest neighbors. Cosmic justice, they'd say to each other, bumping fists upon hearing the welcome shatter of glass.

"Pietro was so damn bullheaded that he gave even me a run for my money!" Leorio is saying now. "In fact, you remind me of him sometimes, the way you stubbornly resist my tender loving care whenever you're sick!"

Kurapika's right hand, which has been stroking Leorio's thigh as his left hand maneuvers the steering wheel, shifts forward to pinch Leorio's knee in mock indignation. "Hey, I don't give you a hard time, not anymore. You're never going to let me live down my former bad behavior, are you?"

Leorio scoffs. "No matter how many patients I've handled, I'll always reserve that top spot for you. The worst patient in the world, by far."

"Joke's on you then, Dr. Leorio. How dare you fall in love with the world's worst patient."

Leorio lifts Kurapika's hand from his own knee to bestow a sloppy smooch on it. "I'd do it again. Over and over and over again."

Somehow, Leorio's every story about Pietro devolves into yet another story about Pietro. Leorio now fully understands how, just like Hisoka, he can rattle off a billion stories to Kurapika and never get bored. Kurapika just listens attentively, prompting Leorio with thoughtful questions whenever he pauses to draw breath.

Leorio blabbers so much that he ends up conking out midway through a story.


Hours later, Leorio wakes up to a faint warmth over his chest. Kurapika is leaning over to extricate the seatbelt from where it's gotten tangled around Leorio's arm.

Seeing that Leorio has awoken, Kurapika kisses him on the forehead. "We're home, love."

Kurapika is just about to draw away when Leorio yanks him by the waist, swiftly repositioning Kurapika over his lap.

Kurapika's arms rope around Leorio's neck. For the space of a second, brown eyes stare into brown eyes, then their mouths connect, mutually hungry for each other's taste. They make out until Leorio's lap is squirming underneath Kurapika's slight weight, stimulated and yearning for skin-to-skin contact.

"Carry me to bed?" Kurapika mutters into Leorio's ear, his warm breath raising goosebumps over Leorio's nape.

Leorio lays his hand protectively over Kurapika's head as he clambers out of the car. With Kurapika clinging firmly to his tall frame, Leorio shuts the car door behind them. He leaves their luggage in the trunk. He'll unpack tomorrow. For now, more urgent business requires his attention.

As Leorio navigates through doors and mounts stairs, he's groaning impatiently all the way. Kurapika keeps nibbling on his neck and ears, snarling up the knot of desire in Leorio's groin more and more tightly.

Once Leorio finally lays Kurapika over their bed, he's just about ready to rip off his boyfriend's clothes with his teeth. He swoops down to kiss Kurapika fiercely on the lips, but the kiss receives no response whatsoever.

Leorio pulls away and sees that Kurapika has, quite suddenly, fallen asleep. And it's no wonder, really. Kurapika drove through the night instead of rousing Leorio and letting him take over at the halfway point.

Leorio tuts as he spreads a blanket over Kurapika. "In many ways, you've changed, but in some ways, you'll always stay the same, won't you?"

Leorio strips down to his boxers before getting under the blanket with his boyfriend. Even deep in slumber, Kurapika instinctively snuggles up against Leorio.

As Kurapika breathes deeply against Leorio's chest, Leorio begins speaking softly. "Kurapika? When you wake up, I'll ask you to meet my family next, okay? I've already sent my parents dozens of emails about you. The fact that I managed to land someone as beautiful and special as you — of course I couldn't help but brag to them nonstop. They're already primed to love everything about you. When we visit, they're going to spoil you with all the attention and affection you deserve."

In response, Kurapika mumbles a string of unfamiliar words. Leorio smiles as he catches his own name at the tail end of Kurapika's somniloquy.

"I love you, Kurapika. Every minute I've spent by your side, whether back on the Black Whale or here in our home, means more to me than you will ever know."

Kurapika sleep-talks some more in his native tongue, and Leorio understands what he's saying this time. This Kurta phrase is one of the several forgotten shards of language that Kurapika has recently been teaching Leorio. The phrase conveys a romantic regard, but of a unique flavor that can never be translated with 100% accuracy. Roughly stated in their common language, it goes something like this: Just as the moon is a part of the sky — no matter the color, no matter the phase — you too are a part of me.

"Likewise, Kurapika," Leorio murmurs.

Holding Kurapika close to his heart, Leorio shuts his eyes and drifts to sleep once more.


More Author's Notes:

If you've stuck by this nightmarish story until the very last chapter, I commend you for your patience. I'm sincerely thankful to everyone who's read this, and especially to everyone who's taken the time to share their thoughts.

If you happen to be curious about my next writing project, so am I. I may rant on Twitter about my scattered ideas for my next fic, who knows. I'm about 60% set on writing about a certain HxH pairing, which shall remain a secret for the time being. I'm considering doing an interactive fanfic, which means that at the end of certain chapters, the readers will encounter a choice. The interactive element can go either of two ways:

(1) Future chapters are dictated by the majority vote of the readers based on the comments.
(2) Each choice leads to a different chapter, which means that the story will have branching paths.

That's all for now. Stay safe. Stay soft and golden.