80 Years Ago...
"Azula! Come back!"
Zuko's pleas fell on deaf ears. Azula raced out of the small Hira'a house, the home of Noren and Noriko. Or rather, Ikem and Ursa. Ursa... their mother. A mother who had changed her face and chosen to forget Azula and replace her with a new daughter, that insufferably pleasant girl, Kiyi. All because Azula wasn't good enough for her. Azula had never been anything but a monster to Ursa, and always would be.
So why hadn't she been able to end her mother when confronted with the opportunity? She'd had the chance. Her mother, standing right in front of her, helpless and at her mercy. In spite of that, Ursa had the gall to claim she loved Azula. Even under the guise of a different identity, when she couldn't remember anything about her past life. Lies. That's what they were. All lies! Ursa would say anything to save herself.
So why had her words given Azula pause? Why had they been so... confusing? Confusing, and infuriating.
She ran faster. Startled uncertainty sparked rapid breaths into her throat, short and gasping. Where on earth did she go now? Who would accept her? Certainly not her mother. Not Zuzu. They only wanted to mock her. As if she'd give them the chance. They couldn't mock her if she didn't come back. They wouldn't even care if she didn't come back. That's what she'd do, then. She'd leave.
But where?
As she neared the edge of town, she caught sight of a distant mass of trees spread out on the horizon. That was it. That was the only thing that made sense. If there was ever a place she could lose herself, where she could escape, Forgetful Valley was it. That's where she would go. Azula sprinted across the open field towards a narrow pass between two cliff faces, the entrance to the valley. Once she reached the forest, they would never find her.
"Come back! Please!" Zuko's voice again. Still he chased her. Still he mocked her. "I can help you! I want to help you!"
Azula slowed to a stop in front of the cliff pass, and finally turned to face her brother. Noriko was with him. Their mother was with them. Ursa. She glared at them, tears streaming out the corners of her eyes. She did nothing to wipe them away. "Same as always, Zuzu. Even when you're strong... you're weak." She continued on, darting through the pass into the dense forest growth of the valley beyond.
Zuko's desperate call echoed through the night air, the last time she would ever hear his voice. "Azula!"
The deeper Azula went into the forest, the denser it became. Denser, and darker. The forest canopy hung so thick overhead she couldn't even see the stars, blocking out even the faintest hint of light. No stars, no moon, nothing to guide her way. She ignited a flame in her palm to light the area. Not much help. Vegetation choked the space around her, trees so close together, vines and plants so thick, she couldn't see more than a few feet in front of herself. Still, she never slowed. She stumbled her way through the brush, jumping over fallen logs and tripping over tree roots like a clumsy fool. Whenever the forest became too thick, she sliced arcing lashes of fire to carve a path. When the way cleared, she sprinted through.
No matter how much of the forest she burned away, vegetation grew back within moments, thicker and more stifling than before. The undergrowth converged on her, strangled her as if alive. Attacked her. She fought back. Vines slithered forward. She incinerated them with rippling waves of blue fire, and pressed on. Where was she even going? This valley, this forest. Empty, aside from the spirits who lived her. Didn't matter where she went, in the end. As long as it was far, far away from Zuko and her mother.
The more she burned, the angrier the forest became. Strange faces materialized on leaves, and bark, even on the backs of passing moth wasps and squirrel toads. The faces twisted. Angry, furious scowls of contempt. The more destruction Azula wrought, the deeper the scowls. Stupid faces. Stupid forest. Stupid valley! She blasted another jet of fire through the trees, clearing her path.
Those faces followed her for hours. The forest growth would race towards her. Azula would burn it away. The faces would respond. Her heart raced, pounding into her throat with knotted panic. How dare this forest try to hurt her! Why couldn't it leave her alone? She screamed at it, dared it to attack. Vines snaked towards her yet again, and just like before she incinerated everything in her path. The forest's anger ignited, and soon even her firebending couldn't help. Flames burned away the undergrowth, only for a tidal wave of vines and leaves to crash through the trees. Azula turned with a yell, sprinted away.
Her stride broke as she stepped out onto empty air. No time to catch her balance, nothing to grab onto. She tumbled forward, slamming into the side of a steep hill. Pain thundered through her body. She tumbled violently down the hillside, crashing into rocks and trees the whole way to the bottom. The world spun wild. The sky, the forest, the ground, swirling together as one. Faster and faster she went, with no end in sight.
Water engulfed her. The sudden shock of cold liquid jolted her panic to new extremes. She thrashed, clawing and reaching to find the surface. Which way was up? Which way to find air? And why was she sinking? The harder she struggled, the heavier she became. The more the water dragged her down. She snapped a wild look around beneath the surface, eyes flaring wide in shock. Nothing but darkness. Nothing to help her.
Her lungs burned. She hadn't had much air to begin with, no time to take a breath before she hit the water. The burning pulsed hotter, threatening to burst. She grabbed her chest. Squeezed. This was wrong. All wrong! This shouldn't be happening! What had she done to deserve this torment?
Seconds before the last bubble of air expelled from her lungs, she saw it. A tiny light in the distance, rapidly growing, coming closer. Some sort of figure, glowing with its own luminance. Within seconds, it was upon her. Azula recoiled at the fish-like creature. Some kind of massive spirit, jaws opened wide to consume her. She screamed as the spirit's maw crashed upon her, burning away the last bit of air left in her lungs. She coughed, sputtered, choked on the water. Darkness took hold of her.
It was gone. Everything was gone. She was gone.
There was only the abyss.
Azula opened her eyes with a deep groan, as consciousness slowly returned to her. She lifted her head and blinked. The forest of Forgetful Valley loomed around her, as thick and dense as ever. Even in daylight, the forest canopy shrouded the world beneath in darkness. At least it wasn't attacking her anymore. No more faces, no more anger. Azula glanced around, keeping her eyes sharp and attentive. From what she could see, she had washed up along the shore of one of the four water pools in the valley.
How had she escaped that spirit monster? The last thing she remembered, she had been trapped within its jaws, drowning beneath the water's surface. Had someone saved her? Had she saved herself? Didn't matter, in any case. She was safe. Perhaps now she could figure out what she was going to do. She could stay here in the valley as long as she needed, until she came up with a plan. Maybe leave one day, start a new life somewhere else, or even return to the capital and take back what Zuzu had stolen from her. She still had a destiny she needed to fulfill.
But was it her destiny? Did she belong on the throne?
Yes, of course she did. She knew she did.
Didn't she?
As Azula stumbled to her feet, her gaze caught sight of something lying in the mud next to her. She turned to it, with a curious stare. A body, some woman from what she could tell, dressed in simple Fire Nation travel attire. Had someone else fallen into the water with her? A strange coincidence, if so. Perhaps this one had already been here for quite some time, and Azula was the first to find her? With a curious hum, Azula knelt at the woman's side and turned her over.
Azula screamed. That face! Not a woman, but a girl. A teenager. A face she had seen countless times before in the mirror. A face she was all too familiar with. She fell back, catching herself with her hands as she stared into the lifeless eyes of the body lying in front of her. Impossible! This was her face. This body, this girl—this was herself?
Azula crawled backwards, unable to tear her gaze away. What kind of trick was this? This wasn't right. It couldn't be right!Slowly, hesitantly, she looked away from the body. Looked down at herself. Stiff dread jolted through her. What should have been flesh and blood was instead translucent and pale blue. Even her clothes, ethereal and ghostlike. She wasn't really there. She was...
"Dead," she uttered, her voice hoarse with the revelation. "I'm... I can't be... I can't be dead! No!" She lunged forward at the body. Her body. She beat her fist against its chest, screaming, sobbing. "Wake up! Wake up, you idiot! You stupid, stupid... Wake up!"
Nothing happened. Nothing changed. Her body remained unmoving, eyes shut tight, skin pale as snow. She ceased her screaming. Falling back into the mud, she tucked her knees up to her chest and tucked her head between them. Tears flowed free, as pale and ghostlike as the rest of her. It was over. Everything was over. Any hope she had for life was gone. What else could she do? An eternity trapped between worlds, wandering this valley as a forgotten shade of who she once was? What kind of lowly, pathetic existence was that? She didn't deserve that.
A low growl snatched her attention. She snapped a look towards the treeline near the shore. The glowing, piercing eyes of a massive wolf stared back at her. The great spirit wolf, the one who served the Mother of Faces. It growled again, and stepped closer. Azula stared back at it. The beast could see her. Being a spirit itself, perhaps that made sense. What did it want with her?
The wolf broke into a run. Azula bolted upright, cold dread flaring through her ethereal form. No, she couldn't let this beast have her. Couldn't let it touch her. Shifting her stance, she extended two fingers at the approaching spirit. A good blast of lightning should be enough to scare it off.
"Take this, you miserable spirit!" she shouted, thrusting her fingers forward.
Nothing happened.
No lightning, no fire, not even a puff of smoke. No bending at all. That cold dread intensified, flash-freezing through her like an arctic winter. No, no, no, not this, too! She had to be able to bend! She had to—
The wolf howled, lunging and snarling at her. Nothing left she could do. Nowhere to go. She could only shield herself with her arms, eyes shut tight, and wait for the spirit to take her.
Azula snapped awake with a sharp gasp. What happened? Where was she? The valley was gone. No more forest, no more pond, no more wolf. An open grassy field spread all around her, dotted with tall lilypad-shaped trees. Strange. What kind of trees were those? The sky, too, looked different, a mix of pink and orange unlike anything she'd ever seen before. Figures floated along the horizon. Strange animals completely unfamiliar to her, of all different shapes and sizes. What kind of rabbit could fly with its ears? And why were they all such strange colors?
She looked down at herself. No more translucent blue tint to her body. She appeared solid, lifelike. Tentatively, she pressed her hands against her abdomen, and her fingers met resistance. With a deep hiss of relief, she curled a smirk across her face. So, she was still alive, after all. That incident in the forest... Just a bad dream. Yes, that had to be it.
"Hey you, human."
Azula blinked downward at the voice. She found a small hole in the ground near her feet, out of which an animal had poked its head. Some kind of meerkat. A talking meerkat.
"Yeah, you," the meerkat stated, with an accusatory glare. "What are you doing here?"
Azula's lips twisted into a disgusted frown. "Don't you talk to me, you filthy rodent! Do you know who I am?"
"Yeah, you're a no good lousy human, and you're standing on our turf. Get moving!"
"How dare you speak to me like that!" Azula shifted into a bending pose and thrust her fingers forward, with every intent on roasting the pathetic little creature alive. "I'll teach you respect!"
Nothing happened. Once again, no fire. Not even a spark. Her eyes widened as she stared at her fingers, paralyzed in shock. What? What was wrong with her?
"Did you just try to bend at me?" the meerkat questioned, lowering his brow into a glare.
"What's going on?" She refocused her stance and thrust her fingers again. Still nothing. "Why can't I bend?"
"You dolt, you can't bend in the Spirit World."
Azula's brow furrowed. "Spirit World?"
She had heard about the Spirit World from her uncle years ago. Not that she remembered any of the details. She'd never paid any attention to his boring stories. As far as she knew, the Spirit World was a different world to their own, a world for spirits. Humans weren't supposed to be able to enter. Not physically, anyway. If that were the case...
"I am dead." Her voice cracked out with horrified realization. "I'm a spirit."
"Yup, and so am I. Couldn't be here any other way." The meerkat spirit folded his arms, narrowing his glare. "But you're still a human spirit, and you tried to bend at me. We don't take too kindly to that."
Azula blinked, still caught in a daze. "What do you mean, 'we'?"
Dozens more holes opened up in the ground, another meerkcat spirit emerging from each one. They shouted at her in unison, their squeaky voices echoing with disdain. The cacophony grew to crescendo, and they leaped at her. Azula ducked and dodged the spirits, desperate to get away. Too many. They latched onto her, holding tight with their dirty, grubby little animal paws.
"Don't you touch me, you filthy animals!" She yanked one of the meerkats from her body and threw it, but that was all she managed before their weight dragged her to the ground. The grass beneath her feet churned like water, a raging maelstrom pulling her into into oblivion. She screamed, and the ground closed above her.
The next time Azula awoke, she found herself in a forest. Not like the forest in Forgetful Valley. No, this was a Spirit World forest, complete with oddly colored trees and flowers, fluttering little wisps of light, and the occasional spirit animal crawling on trees or flying through the air. A few spirits stopped to watch her, as she sat upright and pressed a hand to her face. They didn't say anything, but she could feel their wretched eyes following her.
Why did this have to happen to her? She was dead. Dead and gone. Trapped in the spirit world, never to return. She'd never achieve her destiny now. Never have the chance to get back at those who'd hurt her. Never see Zuzu again. How humiliating. Humiliating, and infuriating. And heartbreaking... What was she supposed to do now? Wander about the Spirit World for eternity like some kind of ghostly vagabond, constantly under attack by hateful spirits? What kind of afterlife was that? No, she would not accept this. She wouldn't accept being dead. There had to be something she could do to fix this.
Azula forced herself to her feet. Wherever she went next, she wouldn't get there by sitting on the ground moping. So, she started walking. And walking. And walking. The forest never changed, no matter how far she went. The trees, the vines, the flowers, the spirits—they all looked the same. What a loathsome, wretched place.
"Huuumaaann," hissed a voice through the trees.
"What is it now?" she muttered, turning a glare behind herself. Nothing out of the ordinary, aside from a pair of glowing mushrooms at the base of a nearby tree. Where had that voice come from? "What's the matter, spirit, afraid to show yourself?"
"You don't belong here, human." The voice echoed louder, harsher. "Humans in the Spirit World belong in one place, and one place only!"
A sticky glob of foul smelling substance splattered against her from above. Azula recoiled, struggling to escape the glue-like fluid. No chance. Within seconds, it hardened like iron, trapping her in an unbreakable prison. A firm yank pulled her to the ground. She landed with on her backside with a dull grunt, leaving her to stare at the forest canopy above. The creature that descended towards her was a truly ugly, despicable thing, skittering along one of the tree trunks atop numerous legs. A massive spider scorpion, with a glowing lure dangling above its head.
"What is this?" she shrieked. "Let me go! Do you have any idea who I am?"
"You are a human," the spirit replied, with biting contempt. "This isn't your world, and you will be punished for trespassing."
The spider scorpion leaped to the ground and skittered off through the forest, dragging Azula along behind it. She thrashed within the cement-like cocoon, desperate to wriggle free. No use. No matter how hard she struggled, she couldn't move a muscle.
"No, no, no..." she muttered, with panicked desperation lifting into her throat. "Where are you taking me?"
"Where all humans go," was the simple reply. "Where you will spend eternity."
The fog. So much fog. Nothing but a dense white cloud, no matter which way Azula looked. It choked her, suffocated her. What kind of prison was this supposed to be? The spirit had told her she would spend eternity here, and yet it was nothing but a simple valley filled with fog. As long as she kept walking in the same direction, she'd reached the edge of the valley eventually and free herself. This was stupid. Nothing but waste of time, meant to annoy her. When she got out of here, she'd find that spirit and make it pay.
She walked for hours. How large could this place be, to take so long to find the end? The valley hadn't looked that big when she saw it from the outside. Surely, she would make it there soon. Surely...
Hours turned to days. Was it days? She was a spirit now. No need to eat, or sleep, or do much of anything. Time had no meaning anymore. The only thing that mattered was finding a way out of here. Only a matter of time...
Weeks, now. Her thoughts darkened and muddied during that time, little more than a jumbled mess. There was something she was supposed to be doing. What was it? Why couldn't she remember? Where was she? What was this place? Who was she? How did she get here? Azula. That was her name, wasn't it? Yes. Azula. She repeated the name to herself in her head, over and over again. She couldn't forget it. She wouldn't let herself forget it.
How much time now? No way to know. Didn't know much of anything anymore. She ambled through the fog, her gaze pointed at the ground in a blank stare. Why was there so much fog? Why did there have to be so much? She hated it, hated it! Who was she? What was this place?
Who was she?
"I am Princess Azula of the Fire Nation," she muttered, in a hoarse whisper. "I will take the throne one day. It is my destiny. I am Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. I will take the throne one day..."
That mantra became her focal point, the one thing she had left to hold onto. The one thing left to remember. The one thing keeping her grip on an ever slipping reality. Whenever her memories began to fade away, she said it again, louder than before. She couldn't forget. She wouldn't forget.
"I am Princess Azula—"
"You're a monster."
She flinched, shifting a tired stare through the fog. A woman stared back at her, a woman she recognized. Or should have recognized. "You... I know you, don't I?"
"Oh, Azula, don't you recognize your own mother?"
"That's right... My mother. You're my mother." Azula squinted her eyes, curious. "What are you doing here?"
"I never loved you," Ursa said, with a disgusted frown. "You were always a terror of a child. So hateful and cruel. How could a mother ever love a child such as that?"
"Shut up!" Azula pressed her palms over her eyes. "I know you never loved me. You always made it so clear, how much you preferred Zuko! I was never good enough for you! That's why you forgot about me! That's why you replaced me! That's why you—" She removed her hands, only to find that the image of Ursa no longer there. "...left me."
A new voice spoke to her, deeper and more sinister. "What a disappointment you were."
Azula spun around, eyes twitching. This one she knew. This one she could never forget. "Father... what are you...? Why are you here?"
"I thought you were to become my legacy," Ozai stated, with that critical, disappointed glare of his, the glare he so often gave to Zuko. "Look at what happened to you. I leave you in charge of the Fire Nation and you lose it to your failure of a brother. You're not the perfect child I thought I raised. You're nothing. You're the failure now."
"No, no, no! Quiet!" Azula fell to her knees and shrank inward, arms clutched tight around herself. She closed her eyes, tears already streaking down her face. "I am Princess Azula of the Fire Nation! I will take the throne one day! It is my destiny!"
She coughed out the final words, and broke into a fit of sobbing. It was her destiny...
Wasn't it?
Years. Maybe. She thought... was it? How long? Did it matter? Who was... she...? Didn't know anymore. Too much fog. Too much. Keep walking. Had to walk. Had to... What? What was...? Didn't know. Didn't know. Didn't...
"I am... I am..." Her voice caught short each time she attempted the phrase. She had said it so many times, thousands of times, but still she couldn't remember. Not now, not anymore. "I am... I... am..."
"Princess Azula."
"Princess Azula... of the... of..."
"The Fire Nation."
"Of the Fire Nation. I am Princess Azula of the... of the Fire Nation. I will... I will..."
"Take the throne one day."
"I will take the throne one day. It is my... my..."
"Destiny."
"I am Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. I will take the throne one day. It is my destiny." That's who she was. Now she remembered. Now she knew. How had she remembered? That other voice—who was it?
"I've been watching you for some time, Azula. You are lost right now, but not forgotten. Not alone."
Azula whirled around, shooting her gaze back and forth through the fog. Where was that voice coming from?
"The Fog of Lost Souls is a cruel, unfitting punishment for someone like you." The voice echoed, wrapped over her. Blanketed her. Inside her head. The voice was inside her head. "I will set you free."
"How?" Memories flooded back to her. Renewed strength fueled her, a newfound resolve sparking with long forgotten determination. She wanted out of here, out of this prison. She wanted to be free. She needed to be free. "How can you free me?"
"Follow the light."
Azula blinked. What light? There was no light. Only fog.
Moments later, she saw it. The faintest flicker of tiny lights in the distance, burning through the fog. She concentrated on them, made sure that they wouldn't disappear from view. For the briefest of moments, her body froze, unable to move. She stared at the lights. They called to her, urged her forward. Her resolve blossomed, shattering any lingering hesitation rooting her in place. With a deep breath, she steeled herself and marched towards those lights. They were her beacon, her hope.
Fog faded, thinning into little more than faint wisps that swirled around her body like tangling vines. Her prison vanished, replaced by a dark void as far as she could see. Below her, around her, above her, all black like ink. Still, she followed those lights. Her pace quickened, breaking into a dead sprint to follow them They drew nearer, grew larger, burned brighter, until...
A spire. A great stone spire that stretched into the infinite abyss above. The lights she had been following burned from glowing glyphs emblazoned upon a large round door on the side of the spire. The door itself stood three times as tall as Azula, and five times as wide. She stared at it, eyes wide with wonder. That was where the voice had come from—behind that door.
"Welcome, Azula, to my domain." The voice slipped from within her mind, now echoing all around her as if coming from every direction at once. It was smooth, yet cold, like sliding bare into satin bedsheets on a cool winter's night.
Azula cleared her throat and shook out of her awe-struck stupor. "Who are you? Why did you bring me here?"
"I am known as the Spirit of a Thousand Faces, but you may call me Sen. I brought you here because I sensed something special about you when you came to the Spirit World. I watched you closely, waiting, and now I believe the time is right."
She lifted an eyebrow at the sealed door. "Right for what?"
"For you to help me."
"Look, I appreciate you freeing me from my prison, but what makes you think I'll help you now?"
The spirit's voice shook with amused laughter. "Because I can give you something you want."
Azula frowned. "What could you possibly offer me?"
"What you want more than anything," Sen replied. "Life. I can give you life."
