Chapter 45
The wedding was beautiful. A simple ceremony in a church so huge that I felt like it took half the city to fill it. Olivia was a stunning bride who shyly beamed her way down the aisle and through the wedding vows. Then afterwards, an elaborate dinner was held back at the Masseria. The family had spared no expense and with just the click of Vittoria's fingers, it seemed, she had turned the entire Masseria into something from a fairy tale. Candles and stunning floral arrangements covered every surface, filling the place with a warm, golden glow and the scent of fresh flowers. Waiters slid in and out of the crowds of people who had descended upon the Masseria come evening, holding trays stacked full of bubbling champagne glasses and fancy canapés. A live orchestra played an assortment of classical music. It was perfect, no detail had been overlooked.
Alessandro had been waiting at my bedroom door to walk me down to the party. His eyes practically popped from his head when he saw me in my elegant dress that I'd opted to change into after the ceremony.
"You look stunning, my lady," he rasped.
"Thank you, good sir." I beamed at him and accepted his offered arm. The way he couldn't take his eyes off me made me feel like I was the blushing bride. "You're not so bad yourself."
That was probably a huge underestimate. He looked the picture of masculine perfection in his tailored black tux. His hair had been slicked back and he smelled incredible. I just wanted to push him into a private corner and bury my face into his chest.
Maybe later, I thought with a devilish smile.
I had been worried beforehand that I wouldn't know anyone but found my worries alleviated when I realised I recognised most of the faces here from prior social events. Everyone seemed genuinely happy to see us. After a couple of hours of mingling and canapés, the announcement came for dinner. Alessandro sought me out and we found our places at one of the many tables that had been set in the main courtyard. Everything looked perfect – from the table settings to the food and even the decorations that hung from the small, potted orange trees around us.
"So which ones are the reporters and which ones are family and friends?" I leaned over and asked Alessandro sometime during the meal. Because, of course, no wedding of the season was complete without media presence according to Vittoria.
He inclined his head in the direction of a table where a group of five or so people sat. They seemed more interested in observing everything happening around them than mingling. Everyone was having a great time and no one even seemed to notice they were there. In fact, the only person who didn't seem to be having fun was Lydia. She sat across the table from me, gazing absently at her salad that she was yet to touch. Judging by the puffiness in her eyes, she hadn't had a good night. Another headache perhaps?
At some point in the dinner one of the maids approached Vittoria and whispered something in her ear. The woman's expression immediately soured and I spotted the small, foil square subtly slipped into her hand. She regarded it for half a second before suddenly she was flying to her feet so fast that the maid barely had the time to scramble out of the way before getting hit in the stomach with the back of Vittoria's chair.
"Is it true?" She was spitting like a cat, her deadly gaze flying across the table to Alessandro and Lydia. "Martina tells me she saw you leaving Alessandro's bedroom last night!"
And just then I felt my heart pelting to a stop in my chest. Conversation died at that point and all eyes pointed squarely toward the scene at hand.
Lydia had pulled back in her chair, her body rigid and she stuttered. "I...I..."
"She also found this in the rubbish." Vittoria flung the small packet at Lydia and it landed squarely on her plate. She stared at it like it was holding a gun to her. It was a condom. "It has a hole in it! You harlot! Tu prostitute! Tu strega! You attempted to become pregnant by him!"
I felt the air suddenly vanish from my lungs. Oh god... please... it couldn't be true. But by the way she watched that thing, I could tell she knew exactly what Vittoria was talking about. Lydia's gaze met the rest of the party. Every person here was watching her like a flock of vultures, including the reporters. I shot a glance at Alessandro, desperately wanting him to stand up and explain himself but he too was focused on Lydia and the condom. Lydia's expression hardened.
"Yes," she said, low and slow, clear enough for everyone to hear. "I was in Alessandro's room last night. But..."
She didn't get to finish her 'but'. The gasp rippled through the party like wildfire and suddenly it felt like the world was grinding to a halt in front of my very eyes. Things moved in slow motion. People moved in slow motion. Whispers filled the courtyard. Vittoria was screaming something in Italian but there was literally no way my brain could hope to translate any of it.
I felt the grab of Alessandro's hand, his whisper against my ear, "This is nothing like what she assumes. I promise you this."
Then slamming a hand on the table so hard that it shook, he bellowed at the top of his lungs, "Stop!"
The table fell quiet. Even Vittoria's yelling hushed.
"Give Lydia a chance to explain herself. Yes she was in my room, but not for the reasons you think. She came to talk. This affair you dream up has no shred of truth to it."
"And the condom in the rubbish?" someone asked. Was it the reporter or a cousin? Or Vittoria herself? I had no idea. My mind was too hazy with shock to think straight.
I recall watching Alessandro's stormy expression deepen but he was either unable or unwilling to explain himself. Was that condom one of ours? Had we even used condoms the couple of times we had hooked up while we were here? I had no idea what was going on. I only knew that I needed to get to the bottom of this. Just... not in front of all these people.
"It was ours. Alessandro was with me last night." To me my voice sounded like a whisper but everyone seemed to have heard it. Alessandro's head snapped around, blue-eyed gaze crashing into me.
"Lizzie..." he whispered but I pretended not to hear him.
"It had a hole in it so we didn't use it," I lied to everyone at that table without even batting an eye.
Vittoria seemed to be the only one who found the news shocking. For everyone else, the fact that we had been together was not news. It was what people in love did. But to Vittoria - the woman to whom I had made my promise to - it was a betrayal of trust. I felt guilt ridden. I hadn't wanted to make a fool of her, or my promise, so I knew I deserved the look she gave me right then. The curl of her lip and her sneer as her opinion of me plummeted to something closer to a wad of gum on the bottom of her shoe.
"Harlot! What sense of moral decency do you have? You're no better than the rest of them... the women out there who think they are worthy enough to be married to this man," she indicated a hand at Alessandro. "You promised me! You gave me your word!"
For some reason my glance fell on Lydia. She was sitting at the table, looking dazed. Half of the family was in uproar and the other half either too shy or embarrassed to look us or the remainder of our guests in the eye, all the while Vittoria kept flinging her damnations at me. I wasn't even sure if she had realised she'd since switched back to her native Italian. If people hoped I'd get up and punch her in the face, they would find themselves sorely disappointed, because all I felt right then was defeat.
"Enough!" It was Alessandro's second roar within the space of minutes that shut her up. This time he added to the effect by bursting to his feet. "I will not sit here and listen to you slander my wife like that! No matter what your thoughts may be on the matter, Vittoria, Lisabetta is my wife. And what we get up to in our private lives is of no one's concern but ours, do you understand?"
When he finished, his eyes were blazing and hands balled into fists on the table. Silence reigned throughout the courtyard. A pin could have dropped and it would have sounded like a thunderclap. There wasn't a single eye that wasn't trained on our table. Alessandro swallowed, suddenly all too aware of the spectacle he had just caused. The reporters watched him, mouths practically hanging open because this was probably the most they had ever heard him say in public... ever. At the wedding of his cousin. A wedding now in utter ruin. Because of me. Because of Alessandro and I. Because of yet another scandal.
I suddenly felt like I wanted to throw up, the bile rising in my throat so quickly that I barely had the time to leap to my feet and bolt inside. Purging my stomach in the nearest bathroom, it wasn't long before I felt Alessandro's hand on my back.
"Lizzie," he said but it was near impossible to hear him over the sound of my thudding heart. "Lizzie, I can explain."
I eased myself away from the toilet and washed out my mouth in the sink. "Good, because you have a hell of a lot of it to do. I've just made Vittoria believe I've broken my promise to her for you."
Alessandro's Adam-apple bobbed as he swallowed and a tick had formed on his temple. "The condom was Lydia's. She did come into my room with the intent of seducing me into sex."
Suddenly I wanted to throw up all over again. I felt like he'd just reached into my chest and ripped out my heart.
"Nothing happened," he said. "I kicked her out as soon as I realised she was not you."
"So," I swallowed, desperate to hold onto some form of composure before I turned into a shrieking mess. What the hell was wrong with these people?! "When were you going to tell me about it? Judging by the look on your face, I would wager never. God, Alessandro, we're supposed to be a team! I'm not just some employee you can just mess around."
"Lizzie…" he reached out but I couldn't bear to feel his touch right then.
"No!" I yelled, my voice sending an echo through the room. I wrenched myself away from his hand like it had burned me. "Don't!"
I watched him retract. I knew my rejection had cut him but I didn't care right then because no amount of cutting him could equal the damage he was doing to me.
"Lizzie, I'm sorry!" His shout actually startled me. He snapped his mouth shut, visibly berating himself for the outburst. "Lizzie," he said softer this time. "This changes nothing. Not one thing about how much you mean to me. I was never going to have sex with Lydia."
I didn't let him finish because it didn't matter which way he tried to spin it, it still hurt. "Oh god, Alessandro. You really don't get it do you?"
The first tear fell and there was no hope in stopping the rest that followed turned and bolted from the bathroom.
It was much later that night when the wedding reception had ended and all the guests had gone home or retreated to their rooms that, unable to sleep, I decided to take myself for a swim in the Masseria's heated pool. Alessandro hadn't come after me when I'd fled him. Instead, he'd chosen the coward's path and opted to lock himself in his room. The pool was quiet and empty, the pool lights giving the water a deep indigo glow. Steam from the warm water rose in gentle swirling clouds that, combined with the gardens that surrounded it, gave it a mystical feel. I eased myself into the warm water and took off into a series of laps, letting my thoughts tumble about as I swam.
I felt my chest tighten at the thought of Lydia sneaking into Alessandro's room. Her kisses on his skin. Her touching him that way. It was like the broken shards of my heart were in the process of piercing through my lungs and I found it hard to breathe. I stifled a hiccup and kept swimming. I was about half way through another lap when I became aware of the legs standing at the edge of the pool. A quick glance up and I realised it was Alessandro, and judging by his dishevelled look - made even worse by the long shadows the pool lighting cast on his face - he hadn't had a very productive time isolating himself.
I kept swimming, pretending that I hadn't seen him.
"I know you're ignoring me," came his low growl a moment later.
"Then maybe you'll take the hint that I'm still too angry to talk to you right now," I said, not dropping my pace.
When silence reigned I stole another glance back in his direction only to realise he wasn't there. I felt my heart lurch. Why did that part hurt more than anything we'd argued about earlier? I kept swimming. My limbs were burning but I didn't care. I just needed to feel something more than the ache in my heart. My solitude was short lived however, when suddenly I felt the disturbance of someone diving into the pool, startling me upright. I barely had the chance to gasp before I spotted his dark body powering up to meet me. I tried to swim away but he was just too fast. Alessandro burst out of the water right next to me and tugged me into his arms.
"Aless-!" My yelp was cut short by his kiss that crashed into my lips.
Lip-locked, there was nothing I could do. There were no defences I could put up. He coaxed my mouth open with the sweep of his tongue, then before I knew it, he was inside, filling my mouth and body with such sensuality that my muscles stopped working and I flopped into him like a fish on land. Hands that I had pressed into his naked chest in protest where now reaching up to his neck and wrapping around him. I kissed him back until I was breathless and panting. Alessandro pulled from the kiss to place his forehead on mine, his arms still refusing to let me go.
"You mean the world to me, Lizbeth. You know that. I promise you, I didn't sleep with Lydia."
"Alessandro," I cut him off. My eyes felt so raw they hurt. Was I crying or was it the pool water? "I know. The evidence was in the bin. And besides, I trust you on that. What I'm angry at is that you didn't trust me enough to come clean with what happened. Why didn't you just tell me?"
I watched Alessandro swallow. "I'm sorry. In the future, I will tell you."
"I want to go home."
"Lizzie," he sighed. "I know but now just isn't the right time."
I felt like I wanted to cry all over again. "Because reputation comes first," I spat acidly.
Alessandro swore at that, nostrils flaring and body going rigid. "That's not true at all, and you know it."
"Really?" I demanded. "Then prove me wrong!"
I needed to get away from him. I struggled from his arms and scrambled for the edge of the pool. Then not even stopping to grab my towel or shoes, I bolted back toward the house, desperate not to let him see me crying. My feet stung on the pebbled footpath but I barely felt it. All I could think of was the man I could never stop loving and his betrayal. I caught him in my peripherals, taut body storming up to meet me like a raging bull. I increased my stride but it was difficult to do on the stones. Any effort to escape him was pointless as he caught up to me and then in one clean grab he pulled me into his arms and swept me off my feet.
"What do you think you're doing?!" I yelled, struggling in vain against his vicelike grip.
"Your feet are getting cut on the stones."
"Put me down!"
"No!"
"I'll scream!"
"Go ahead then, this is my house."
I nipped at his shoulder and he cursed but maintained his hold. Naked except for his boxer-briefs, he stormed us back into the house and up the flight of stairs to my bedroom. Then closing the door behind us with the kick of his foot, he carried me right into the en suite where he finally deposited me.
"Lizzie," he said but I was too furious to listen to him.
"I hate you!" I screamed, batting away his hand that tried to brush away a soggy lock of hair from my face.
He suddenly looked cut. "Cara, you don't mean to say that..."
But I did, and I wasn't taking it back. "Then what the hell are you doing to me?"
Chest heaving and breathing ragged, I felt my lip quiver before my legs gave out from beneath me and I hit the floor on my knees.
"Lizzie?"
The rolling sob came out as a howl. I tried to curl up on the bathroom tiles but he was there, sitting on the floor next to me and pulling me into his arms. He wrapped himself around me like a blanket, holding me in silence as I bawled into his shoulder. Whether it was for minutes or hours, I had no idea. All I know is that he never let me go. When I shivered from the cold he reached for a towel and wrapped it around my shoulders, and when my sobs finally turned into quiet hiccups, he got up and ran me a bath.
"I think we've made a mistake," I said once I could think properly again. Once all the rage and hurt had dissipated into something akin to numbness.
"What do you mean?" Alessandro sat beside me on the edge of the bath, refusing to leave my side.
I hugged my legs and rested my chin on my knees. The water was so warm it bordered on painful but I didn't mind it. It helped alleviate the hurt inside. "I can't do this anymore, Alessandro. I'm not who you want me to be and I can't live life like this, constantly under your thumb. It's just not going to work."
Alessandro fell quiet, his gaze intent on the huge cloud of bubbles that filled the tub. Something in him had closed up, I could sense it and it hurt more than anything else. "What do you propose we should do, Lizzie?" He asked.
"I want to go home."
