A/N
You'll learn more about Esme and Carlisle, and Charlie, I promise!
—
We're in Edward's room again, sitting facing each other, our gifts between us.
"Why didn't you tell me you'd be spending Christmas alone?" he asks, looking equally as hurt as he does angry.
Biting my lip, I shrug, though the motion is timid, my uncertainty showing. "How do you tell someone that? I … I don't want anyone's pity."
He growls and shakes his head, eyes blazing. "It's not about pity, Bella!" His voice raises, but not enough that he's shouting. I flinch, which makes him sigh and reach out for my hand. "It's about … opening up, letting me in. You're so fucking determined that you don't need anyone else, but …" He pulls my hand, making me yelp. I'm pretty sure the gifts are squished, but I'm in his lap, my back to his chest, his lips against my throat. "This needs to work both ways. I let you in and … you need to let me in. You're allowed to want more for yourself and I'm more than happy to provide that."
Swallowing hard, I stroke the back of his hand, allowing my body to relax against his. I know he's right, I just don't know how to. I've thought about it a lot, but I've never been the type of person to unleash my worries on others; it's a bit of a buzz-kill.
"I've always been on my own," I tell him, watching my fingers draw circles on his hand. "Even before Mom left. I've always felt unwanted and I guess … I just got used to it. I try not to think about it."
"But you do think about it?" he asks, turning his face into my neck. "When you're alone, do you think about it?"
"All the time."
I feel his lips against my neck, the deep exhale from his nose. "Promise me something?" I don't answer him verbally, nodding instead. "Whenever you're alone, thinking about it … you'll text me, call me, anything … just, reach out to me? Let me be there."
Turning my head, I try to look at him. He lifts his face, bringing us nose to nose, his eyes so pleading, so open.
I realise that having someone there for me, although it's a foreign concept —outside of my friends— fills me with so much … hope. It's terrifying and it's elating. And Edward wants to be that person for me.
I've never felt this before.
His hand lifts, wiping a tear I didn't realise had fallen from my eye.
"Promise me," he pleads.
"I promise."
His lips against mine are soft, warm, consuming. The kiss is gentle, comforting, everything I need. So heart-felt and true.
"No more hiding from each other," he adds, kissing my nose softly and tightening his arms around me.
"No more," I agree, kissing his nose, making him smile, promising to try.
It's the perfect end to a perfect day.
Edward's adoptive parents are really nice; gracious and friendly hosts. Esme exudes a motherly grace and comforting warmth.
Carlisle was working, but arrived just before dinner. He's a kind man, with a quiet and calm presence. As soon as Edward and I were alone, I planned to ask him why they're never home and seem to leave him to his own devices, but that was derailed by the topic of me.
If anything, this realisation confuse me more. Why has he been so adamant to keep me away from them?
We have all the time in the world to talk more about his adoptive parents though -of that, I'm confident.
—
A/N
As always, MASSIVE thank you to Jemster23 for pre-reading!
