"Ugh!" Rebekah groans in frustration as she's woken up for the third night in a row, angrily she gets out of bed and stomps out of the room, bumping into Klaus in the hallway. "Control your pet, before I rip her throat out." She instantly threatens, making her brother roll his tired eyes.

"I don't control her, Rebekah." He states as she scoffs.

"Well, that's a bloody first!" She shouts with venom. "Shut them up." She demands before turning around and slamming her door.

Klaus huffs before continuing his path to the source of his restless night, coming across Elena jumping on the couch, strumming a plastic guitar as Kol sits in front of her, beating the plastic drums.

"Klaus!" Elena cheers when she spots him in the doorway, jumping off the couch and running towards him. "I found a way to combine music and video games! Aren't I fucking genius?" She asks with a wild look in her eyes.

"Ellie, it's 4 a.m., you haven't slept in two days." Klaus informs her with concern, making her laugh and turn towards Kol.

"Kol, it's 4 a.m!" She shouts with excitement, making him look to her with a thumbs up.

"Cool." He replies, turning back to the game.

"Wanna play with us?" Elena asks Klaus, who shakes his head with a sigh.

"No." He says with defeat before turning around and leaving the living room.

Ellie shrugs and runs back to Kol, pulling him from the game and pushing him down on the couch. Kol smirks with a raised brow when she lies on top of him.

"Very forward, darling." He comments, moving to kiss her as she rolls her eyes and puts her hand against his face.

"Sorry, babe. No time. We've gotta get through this list." She says, reaching to ground and retrieving her notepad, flipping it open.

"Fine." He says with a pout. "What's next?" He asks when she sends him a look.

"Feminism. We're gonna watch a bunch of feminist documentaries on Netflix to educate you." She states with a nod as he scoffs.

"Yeah? What's in it for me?" He asks as he brows furrow.

"Well, women won't sleep with you if you treat them like second-class citizens. Plus, a guy who cares about feminist issues is really fuckin' hot." Elena adds, making Kol's eyes widen as he sits up with her in his lap.

"What is a Netflix?" He asks with urgency.


Elijah wanders into the living room in search of his siblings, other than Finn, he really is dull.

"Oh, I've seen this. It's very good." He comments, noticing the documentary playing on the TV as Elena sends Kol an 'I told you so' look.

"Of course you have, 'lijah." Kol says with a very slight slur, causing Elijah to raise a brow and take notice of the empty bottles scattered around the couch.

"You're drunk. It is 10 a.m." Elijah states as Elena smirks slyly.

"You're about the sexiest clock I've ever seen." She flirts, making his sigh. "Hmm, was that a judgmental sigh? Kol, what do you think?" She turns to Kol, who nods.

"Oh, definitely." He responds with a grin as Elijah rolls his eyes, reaching into his pocket.

"What are you gonna do with the money?" Kol asks Elena with curiosity as Elijah stuffs a bill in the cup.

"I'd like to buy a golden chalice to replace this truck stop paper cup. Then I wanna keep replacing it with rarer and rarer precious metals. And I expect you to continue the tradition after I'm long dead." She points to Kol as he nods.

"I'd be honored." He says with emotion as Elijah sighs and stands as he reaches into his pockets again. On his way out of the room, he stuffs a hundred in the cup as Elena watches him leave before turning to Kol.

"He is so into me." She tells him with a smile.


Klaus walks into the room, rolling his eyes when he finds Elena and Kol clutching each other in obnoxious laughter, he clears his throat to get their attention.

"Oh, hey." Elena greets, trying to catch her breath as she wipes the tears from under her eyes.

"What's so funny?" Klaus asks with a fake smile as he takes a seat across from the two.

"Remember how I can kinda summon dead people now?" Elena asks in a casual tone as Klaus nods. "Well, I taught Kol about prank calls and he had the amazing idea to mess with some of his former victims." Elena says through a laugh as Kol nods along and Klaus's brows furrow.

"What does that mean? What do you do?" He narrows his eyes at the two.

"Well, I kinda found the guy on the other side and I was all like 'I'm gonna grip you tight and raise you from perdition" Elena quotes in a gravelly tone. "And he was all like 'omg, you're the best' and then I was like "psych, bitch! Kol says hey' then-" Klaus interrupts.

"So you are pretending to save people, sorry dead people, from the otherside?" Klaus asks, trying to keep the judgment out of his voice as Kol and Elena look to each other with a nod.

"Yeah, pretty much." Elena confirms.

"He was a thief." Kol tries to defend their actions as Elena nods.

"Ellie, can I speak with you… in private." He adds when she only stares at him.

"Sure thing, boss." She stands, following Klaus only a few feet away. "You seem… off?" She tries to think of the right word as he scoffs out a laugh.

"I guess I just didn't sleep very well." He says, sending a glare to Kol as a look of realization spreads across Elena's face.

"Oh, I get it. You're jealous." She smirks as he scoffs.

"I'm not jealous." He rolls her eyes as she sends him a pitying look.

"It's perfectly natural to feel jealous of the new baby. But, mommy has enough love to share." She says with mock sympathy as Kol snorts and Klaus glares.

"I'm not jealous! You two have not shut up for over 48 hours. You were supposed to be catching him up on modern times and important history." He quotes her as her jaw drops with offense.

"I have been." She argues as he sends her a look.

"Is that what you call what you've been doing?" He asks with disbelief. "So far, you've played video games, gotten drunk, used my card to order movies, and told him in length about the feud between rappers Tupac and Notorious B.I.G." He lists off on his hand as she rolls her eyes.

"Okay, 1.) our card! And they were Informative documentaries. 2.) We only got drunk because documentaries are super boring." She whines as he rolls his eyes. "3.), important historical events, i.e.; Pac and Big's feud, which he retained because I'm an amazing teacher. Kol, who killed Tupac?" She asks as Kol's head snaps to them.

"The feds." Kol answers as Elena points to him in pride with a smug smile as Klaus runs a hand over his face in frustration. "On the subject of Kol and I being awesome, can we get a bounce house?" She asks with hopeful expression.

"No."

"Please, Kol's never seen one because you daggered him." She tries to guilt trip him.

"No."

"Pretty-" Klaus interrupts.

"No."

"I was really hoping you'd say yes." Elena trails off awkwardly as they hear a large sound coming from the backyard. "I love you." Elena cheers weakly as Klaus stares at her blankly. "Come on, Kol." She says quietly, pulling the original with her.


"Everything looks good." The man who set up the bounce house says making Elena nod.

"Cool, thanks- Kol, no!" Elena scolds as Kol tries to bite the man.

"What?" Kol asks with confusion as the worker looks between them.

"You can't eat him, he has it hard enough." The man's eyes widen as Elena continues. "You probably make minimum wage, right?" She asks the man as he nods silently. "See. That sucks, bro. Hold on." Elena runs into the house as the man looks at Kol, causing the original to nod awkwardly.

"Here." Elena pushes a handful of judgment jar money into the man's hands as he stares at her in confusion. "Wanna bounce with us?" Elena asks, looking at the bounce house with a smile as the man nods.


"Ugh! What is wrong with you two?" Rebekah yells from the kitchen, causing Ellie and Kol to laugh and high five as they walk into the kitchen. "Are you children? Actual children?" She asks as she wipes her chin of a red substance.

"What have they done now?" Elijah asks with an exasperated sigh as he enters the room.

"They messed with the blood bags." Rebekah tells him in an angry tone. "And they put flour in my blow dryer, and plastic wrap in the doorways, and whatever else I haven't found yet." She glares at them as Elijah turns to them with a disapprovingly look.

"What did you do to the blood bags?" He asks as Kol rolls his eyes.

"We mixed corn syrup and red food dye." Elena says with a proud smile as Elijah turns to Rebekah.

"It's harmless." He says as she continues glaring.

"I don't care, I'm sick of this! It's bad enough living with Kol, I can't handle two of them." Rebekah rants before storming out of the room.

"Maybe it's best you dismantle any undiscovered pranks." Elijah tries to reason with Elena as she pouts.

"Fine, but when we get back. Right now we have to go meet my drug dealer." She says as Elijah raises his brows. "I mean friend." She corrects with a smile as Elijah stares blankly.

"Come on, Kol. Quick, before he tries to give us his word." She pulls Kol out of the room, sending Elijah a teasing look as he rolls his eyes with a smile.


"Wake up." Kol shakes Elena awake, causing her to open her eyes and look around frantically.

"What? What's wrong?" Elena asks as Kol stares at her in concern.

"What the hell was that?" He asks as Elena's brows furrow in confusion.

"What?" She asks.

"Your dream! You woke me up by tossing and turning, so I went into your head, hoping it was a sex dream, preferably staring me. It wasn't, so I ask again, what the hell was that?" He asks with wide eyes.

"Zombie apocalypse." She answers with a shrugs as he stares in confusion.

"What?" He asks.

"Yeah I mean, I always dream of zombies. Sometimes they bite me, sometimes I escape, one time I bit a zombie." She lists as he continues to stare.

"... What?" He asks again.

"Right, I forgot you were in a box. Look, I don't have the time or patience to explain all zombie lore to you, it's too much. I'm pretty sure it dates back like 400 years. Ooh, I have an idea." She exclaims with excitement.

"Not the dog." Kol whispers, turning his head so Elena doesn't see him wipe his eyes.

"I know." Elena sobs, the doorbell rings and Elena stops crying. "Ooh, pizza's here." She stands up and runs to the door.

"This is delicious." Kol says with a mouthful of pizza as Elena nods.

"I know right, I can totally see why someone would pay in sex." She comments as he sends her a look of confusion and amusement.

"What?" He asks with a laugh as she gasps and stands.

"Oh, my god. I've failed you." She says sadly.


"She's so bendy." Kol says with astonishment as he and Elena stare at her phone with tilted heads.

"Right." She responds, impressed as Klaus walks into the room.

"There is no way they're comfortable." Kol shakes his head as Klaus looks at the phone over Elena's shoulder.

"My, god! Are you watching porn?" Klaus asks with disbelief as Kol and Elena nod.

"Obviously." She replies, not taking her eyes off the screen as Klaus huffs and storms away.

"I need your help." Klaus says into his phone with irritation, sending his brother and Elena a look.


A.N. Happy New Year!

Thanks for reading the story, if you'd like to read anything specific or have any suggestions, I'm all ears!