Chapter 72: A Random Realization

"Looks like I'm up." The Glitch places Driller on top of Cassandra and gives them a thumbs up. He looks at the grinning Champion.

"Wow, I thought you would be more angry with us beating your Pokemon."

"I am. You have no idea how irate I am." His grin never fades as his eyes bore into them. "I worked so hard to get where I am right now. Time after time of winning just to be beaten at the end of it all. Doesn't matter if I win or not, HE would still be given another chance, and that is the ONLY win that anyone ever remembers!" His speech starts to accelerate. "So I did what I had to! I've CHANGED, and now everyone will only remember me as the only Champion! It's funny, even though he did plenty of things until NOW, everyone's memory has been PERFECTLY altered to think it was all me!" He pulls down at the skin on his face. "Even when that MEMORY makes NO sense! I'm the ONLY kid from Pallet Town! The ONLY PokeDex holder! The only WINNER! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Cassandra's brows furrow and she looks at her Pokemon.

"Yes, yes. Nice monologuing skill you have there." Missingno smirks and shakes his head. "But what can you do against me?"

"Ha! While you've been BUSY, I found THIS!" He holds up a glowing orb of light. "THIS will give me INTENSE powers and MAKE ME PRACTICALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE!"

"wOw, YoU'rE sO cOoL!"

Koja chuckles as he rises, brandishing a rock. "Like we'll give you time to do anything with it."

"That might be TRUE, but I've waited for a time when a DRAMATIC REVEAL will cause a LONG conversation to DISTRACT you!"

Cassandra stares at Missingno with wide eyes. "I'm a glitch."

Koja scoffs. "Yeah, no thanks to Missingno."

She sits up. "No, before I even met him. It all makes sense. There are no other children in Pallet Town. And I can remember anything that happened before that day too." She turns to Koja. "What did we eat for breakfast yesterday?"

"I don't remember."

"Me either, but I can perfectly remember every detail of every dinner for years before that day."

"Oh, really? Then where did your Pokemon come from? You said it was a Bulbasaur at one point, right?"

Cassandra looks down at her feet. "I'm guessing it's not normal for a Bulbasaur to know Explosion, Explosion, Vine Whip, and Explosion, huh?"

"... No."

They turn to Missingno.

"... Yeah, she was a glitch. This guy absorbed the main character to keep his perfect battle record, but the world didn't seem to like it. So it created you, gave you a Bulbasaur related glitch that already existed, and sent you on a journey."

Cassandra jumps up. "So you mean that if I had never met you, I would have-!"

"Been forcibly stuck at either Route 22 or 25, waiting forever for a fight that would never come."

"... Oh. Well, then. Thanks."

"No worries."

"Well, then. You had better go back out and finish him."

"Yeah, of course I will. I have to. I'm the only one who can." Missingno glares at Purple's smug face.

"Forget about that." Cassandra smacks him upside the head.

"What?"

"I'm not sure why you have to, or if you are the only one who can, but you shouldn't have to do it for those reasons." She shrugs.

"... Let me guess, because I want to?"

"Nah, just do it because it is random and funny."

Missingno stares at her. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He breaks out in laughter. His tears stream down and create a small river. "Sure! Why not?" He turns to his opponent, clad in a soft purple light. "Feeling better?"

"Yes. Sorry about earlier." Purple grabs at the light, pulling it around to surround his fists. "I don't know where my head was at. Now we will have the fight to end all fights!"

"Well, my fight with you was going to be awe-inspiring, but I decided to give the others some cool rounds instead. It was going to start with me getting wailed on, and then I would have pulled out all the stops and beaten you back. After that, you would have released a final form, and gotten very close to beating me. But it looks like you are getting used to your new Level 5 powers."

"And now we can fight on even terms. Right, Narrator?"

Yeah, sure. Good luck with that.

Missingno's smile twists upwards. "Perfect. This is the part where I miraculously pull a brand new power in the middle of the fight to gain the advantage again." He rubs fake blood on himself and looks at Cassandra with large eyes. "I feel so weak. Do you believe in me?"

"... Uh…" She shrugs. "Yes?"

"You're right! I CAN do this!"

A burst of light erupts from Missingno's wrist, locking all eyes on it.

Even Missingno gasps. "No way."

From the band, a dozen figures emerge. They look like blocky, backwards L-shapes, each with a different pattern of white, black and grey blocks.

"Mom. Dad. Other people that aren't relevant enough to be mentioned besides saying 'everyone'."

Words radiate from the figures. "Hello, Missingno? Check, one, two. Can you hear us? If you can see this, you are fighting and need more power. We know because we made this voice activated to the phrase 'you're right'. We figured that is the only situation you would say that."

Ouch.

"We give this last gift to hold your flow open for a bit of time. Go all out. We know you can do this."

The figures turn to light and enter Missingno. As he glows, the hair on his head turns pure white. He blinks, and his eyes radiate white light as well. He brandishes a glowing spatha.

He talks through a big smile. "Guess that's it. Time for you to lose." He looks at the purple-clad fists that bashes against the barrier around him.

As the barrier crashes down on them, a glass-like piece falls into Purple's line of sight, covering Missingno. As it passes, Missingno is no longer there.

He moves around clockwise to Purple's blind spot, stabbing at his torso. Purple spins, jumping back and punching the sword away with an aura-clad protection.

Purple grins wide. "Being able to hear what you are doing is really nice."

Purple rushes at Missingno, jabbing lightly. Missingno blocks them with the flat of his blade, trying to get a couple swings in himself. Purple feints a left hook before going in for a large swing. Missingno ducks and prepares a cut across the legs. Purple creates some distance to recover his breath.

"I guess there are some downsides when both of us can hear it."

Missingno laughs. "Yeah, fights against novice Level 5's have never been very entertaining." He wields his weapon at his side. "Too bad I was brought up in a family of 5's."

Purple barely blocks the next strike before it hits his shoulder.

The sound of teeth grinding pierces Missingno's ears.

"So you can fight without showing it, huh? I'm impressed."

"I'm impressed that you can say all of that with your teeth clamped like that."

Ha.

"Hey! You stay impartial!"

Right, sorry. Not used to others hearing me.

"Look," Missingno lowers his weapon. "You can't win. Just admit defeat already."

"Never! I finally broke my fate! I became a Level 5! I can finally fight for my freedom! I can fight with you on even ground!

"You can fight hard, but you are no match for me, I have the heart of a Level 6!"

"So?! I can fight just as hard as you! I can have a heart of a-"

"No, stop. I mean my organ that is essentially the Glitch version of a heart is literally a Level 6. That is where our power is pulled from, so there is no way for you to beat me."

Purple races forward, jabbing left, right, right again. Missingno avoids it as if he can tell exactly where the attack is coming from.

"BECAUSE YOU ARE TELLING HIM!"

Don't blame me.

"Look, this is where it ends. You are putting up a good fight, but I will win."

"Shut up! You don't know what it is like to be weaker than others, no matter what you do!"

"You're wrong. I-"

"Be quiet!" His jabs become more sporadic. "I won't listen to you."

Missingno brings his sword down on Purple, who blocks it and holds it in place with crossed arms.

"There, now by the Ancient Anime Fight Laws, you have to listen."

Purple tries to get away, but is locked in the struggle.

"I was not born with amazing Glitch conditions. I wish they could have been 'Power of Friendship', 'Yelling', 'Long Hair', 'Horrible Catchphrases', or any of the other conditions from Glitch heroic tales. But I got 'Random' and 'Funny', so I will work with what I got. No, I will embrace it!"

Purple brakes free and pulls back to a safe distance. "You haven't been very random in this fight so far."

"Yup! My power is condensed with 'Funny', while the flow to use it is determined by 'Random'. But to make sure my actions work and are funny, the randomness goes down."

The tip of the sword snags Purple's arm as he jerks to avoid the sudden thrust.

Missingno holds up the glowing bracelet. "So when my family holds open the flow, I can use the full extent of my Level 6 power!"

As a few hairs fall from Purple's head as he pulls away from another thrust. He pulls up every inch of his new power, blasting the weapon away with a full-body aura.

"This is going to work great!"

"..." Purple looks at him. "Shouldn't that be my line?"

"Nope! That power is awesome, the Haze glitch, right?"

"... Yeah, the game is protecting me."

"Yup, complete protection from any attack the game recognizes."

"What does that mean?"

A double barreled shotgun with two triggers appears in a holster across Missingno's back. "There is no other Pokemon that has two different Water Gun attacks. Wanna bet if the protection will recognize it?"

As Missingno grabs the stock, Purple crouches down, ready to go a... certain direction if Missingno pulls it out.

"Nice. Already starting to hide your intentions. But this is it." Missingno slashes a few times before pointing at him with his swordgun.

"I will not go down without a-wait,hiswhat?"

Missingno used Water Gun! Missingno used Water Gun!

As the shots hit him simultaneously, the purple aura stretches far from him, holding on by a few strings. The boy is now a brown haired 10 year old, clutching at his face.

"No. NO!"

"Finally! Do you know how annoyed I was when I saw you?"

The boy looks up at Missingno, face ashen.

"I didn't know you were the final boss, but I figured we would have to face you at some point, so I started to make a super effectiveness circle. Rock beats explosions, hammer beats rock, blue beats hammer." Missingno grins as he lifts a custom rocket launcher. "So tell me, what do you suppose beats blue?"

Boom.