Cullen gripped the horn of his saddle a little tighter than needed as he rode forward down the mountain path. The path was narrower than the usual traveled path between Ostwick and Starkhaven but he was thankful that it would be a shorter travel time. At the pace they were going they would reach Ostwick at nightfall.
Glancing back over his shoulder, he checked on the riding party behind him to ensure everyone was keeping pace. That was when his amber eyes met her emerald. She had just turned from her conversation with the man riding beside her and his eyes had met hers briefly before she lowered them. Even for that brief moment that they held each other's gaze he could feel the disappointment in her stare.
He deserved it and then some. His old habits surfaced as quickly as it took for Solona to invite him to her bed and it all came flooding back. What happened in Starkhaven was not the first time that had happened. Just when he thought he was going to make his life right, find a woman that he could care for and spend the rest of his life with he would find Solona standing there coaxing him back to her. He knew he was delusional.
Solona was not interested in being that woman that he wanted, that he needed. She was the occasional dalliance that blew in and out of town with the passing breeze. Sometimes it would be days, sometimes just a night. Nothing more than sex, a bit of conversation and then off for parts unknown again. Sex just like it was after Evelyn demanded to speak with Solona. Or before the wedding. Or right after the reception. Or even that morning before they departed Starkhaven. He was sure there was another time somewhere in all of that, but it was all a blur.
What right did he have to be angry with Evelyn? He had none. He was the one that pushed her away because of some youthful obsession with the mage. He all but pushed Evelyn away when he had finally started to have something with her.
"You're a fool, Cullen," he thought. Kicking himself for doing yet another thing he promised he would never do. He was turning into exactly the person he had insisted on not being.
"Something wrong, Curly?" Varric asked.
Cullen shook his head, trying to continue to ignore the stares from the dwarf who had been riding behind him since departing Starkhaven. He had known him long enough to keep his mouth shut and do not allow the dwarf any attention if he did, he knew he was in trouble. The author was nothing but persistent like a mabari hunting its prey.
"No," he answered curtly.
Pulling his horse alongside the commander as best as he could on the narrow path, Varric scratched the side of his head. "You've been unusually quiet even for you. No throwing out orders."
"Captain Winters is doing well leading," Cullen said.
Varric looked forward at the Ferelden captain who had taken over lead when the path became narrower. Nodding his head, Varric turned back to Cullen. "Not like you to let someone else lead."
"I have no reason to question his leadership."
Pursing his lips, Varric nodded his head again. "Seems like a good guy. Talked to him for a bit before we left. Seems to have a lot of respect for the king."
"Oh yes," Cullen said through clenched teeth. "Great respect for our King of Ferelden."
"I've dealt with him before. He's not exactly what everyone thinks about him." Varric scratched the side of his head, watching as the other man's neck muscles tighten. He knew he was playing with fire by talking to Cullen like this. "He's quick on his feet. Good with a sword."
"Is there a point to this, Tethras?"
"Just trying to figure out what it is about you two," the dwarf said. "You two knew each other before the Blight and all."
"We knew each other during and after it as well. It doesn't make us friends," Cullen said.
"Commander Cullen!" Captain Winters called out as he looked back over his shoulder at Cullen.
Cullen kicked the horse and rode forward, leaving Varric behind. The dwarf watched him for a moment before turning back to look at the King and Inquisitor. Both were smiling and laughing at something he had said. The man was scratching at his scruffy chin, trying his best to look innocent at whatever they were talking about.
He turned back to watch the Captain and Commander discuss something. He could see both men looking down the mountain path and then saw the Captain pointing to the west. Turning his head, he realized that they had reached their destination. They were approaching Ostwick.
Alistair slowed his horse when he saw Winters and Cullen riding back in their direction. The party in front of them had already came to a stop. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck start to rise from concern.
"My lord, you requested to be notified when we were within sight of Ostwick. We are still more than a day out. And as it is, we have been approached by a greeting party as well," Captain Winters informed them.
Evelyn frowned as she looked over her shoulder at her brother. Maxwell shrugged as he stared back at her. She sighed before turning to look at the Ferelden Captain. "Peaceful or otherwise?"
"It appears peaceful, my lady Herald. Our advance riders returned saying that they came unarmed with a letter for you."
"A letter?" she asked.
"Yes, my lady," Captain Winters said as he handed the letter to the King.
Alistair looked at the letter briefly before handing it to Evelyn. His eyes remained on her as she opened the seal to open it. Her eyes moved across the page as she read what was written.
"Something wrong?" Alistair asked.
"I'm not sure. It's from Luca, my brother," she said before handing the letter to Alistair. "He's inviting us food and lodging until we sail out."
Reading the letter, Alistair folded it and handed it back to her. "And how do you feel about this?"
"I'm not sure," she answered. "I don't even remember being here last time at all."
Cullen rode back in their direction and turned his horse to position it behind Evelyn. He had heard what was being discussed. "Can he be trusted considering what has happened? You have stated that your brother can not be trusted."
"Aye. I did," she said, nodding her head. "However, that was before whatever control my father had over Ostwick was broken when he and Captain Malloy died." She turned to look at Cullen as he sat on his horse behind her. "He could have been under that spell as well. Reports that Sebastian had received was that he had collapsed several days ago but has been in good spirits since.."
Frowning, Cullen turned to her brother. "Master Maxwell? Your thoughts?"
Maxwell shook his head. He did not like being pulled into discussions like this. He was a mage and not typically privy to situations like this. "I won't hide that I think Luca is an ass. Cursed or not." Removing his glove, he ran his hand through his hair. "But if reports are coming in that he collapsed it could mean that whatever control the demon had may no longer be active. He could be back to being the pompous prick he was before."
Turning to look at Evelyn again, Alistair rubbed his scruffy chin. His beard growing during his trip to Starkhaven. His mind strayed for a moment, wondering if Evelyn liked it before he found her staring at him.
"If you feel safe, we can go. Otherwise, we can stop prior to Ostwick and find shelter for the evening," he said.
Evelyn bit down on her lower lip as she looked at her brother once again. Her brother shrugged, not speaking. Closing her eyes, she lowered her head slightly to think about it. She could speak with Luca and determine if there was a possibility of him still being under her father's corruption. Or she could allow her distaste in him from years of being bullied as a child to prevent her from returning to her home.
"We can find shelter for tonight in one of the small towns on the outskirts of the city," she said, opening her eyes to turn to look at Alistair, Cullen and Winters. "As for the new bann, I will speak with Luca myself in the morn."
"I disagree with this decision," Cullen said. "You would be unprotected, Ev – " He stopped himself from saying her name and corrected himself. "Inquisitor. If you go in there without guards and your brother is still under control of your father, then we cannot ensure your safety."
"I agree, Evelyn," Alistair said.
Cullen's jaw slacked when he addressed her so casually. His hand tightened into a fist until he felt the muscles spasm up his arm.
"I'll go with you," Alistair said. "We can take a couple of my men to escort us."
"If anyone escorts the Inquisitor it will be from the Inquisition," Cullen insisted. "We can not afford going into Ostwick under any other banner but that of the Inquisition."
Shaking his head, Captain Winters said, "I have to agree with Commander Cullen. We can not allow you to do this, King Alistair. If you are lost it would be catastrophic for Ferelden and Thedas."
Another deep breath and Evelyn straightened herself on her saddle. "I appreciate all of your concerns, but this is something that I need to do. I must ensure Ostwick is under control before I return to Skyhold.." She turned to face Alistair. "I need to do this."
The King looked at her for a moment, weighing out their options. He knew she had been in correspondence with her brother since their father's death. However, the responses she had been receiving were vague and questionable. They had discussed it that evening as they laid in bed together just talking about anything that came up while they continued to explore each other's likes and dislikes. Suddenly he felt heated when his mind strayed to think about how she really liked when he ran his fingers down her spine to her lower back…
"Pull your mind out of the gutter, you leech," Alistair chastised himself. Wiping his glove over his face to try to hide the blushing, he cleared his throat. "I should go with you."
She shook her head. "No. Captain Winters is correct and Ferelden cannot run the risk of something happening to you if Luca does something." When he started to protest, she held up her hand to stop him. "I can take someone with me for protection if that's what you're worried about."
Cullen flinched when he watched Evelyn lean to her side so she could reach out to place her hand on Alistair's arm. The other man quickly covered her hand with his and smiled at her.
"He's not going to do anything so soon after our father's death," Evelyn reassured Alistair.
"No," Maxwell said from behind. "He'll sit on that pile of shit until the stink fades. Then he'll do something. Luca's never been in a rush to do anything other than run his mouth. He's like a vulture, only move in after the carcass is on the ground."
Evelyn spun on her saddle to look at her younger sibling. "Want to come with me?"
"Maker no!" Maxwell said, shaking his head. Then he started to rub his chin, thoughtfully. "Then again. It might be fun to threaten him with setting his pants on fire again."
Rolling her eyes, Evelyn released a heavy sigh. "I'm surrounded by little boys." She smiled when she watched Alistair place his palm against his chest with a feigned pained expression. "Not you, my lord."
Alistair laughed. "Thank you, Madame Inquisitor."
"I'll take members of my team with me for safety. This will be nothing more than just a friendly meeting between me and my brother." She looked back over her shoulder, meeting Cullen's gaze. "I'll let you decide who will accompany me." Seeing him nod his head slightly, she turned back to Winters. "Captain, please inform the greeting party that we will arrive tomorrow morn."
Winters looked at the King briefly, waiting for Alistair's approval. The King's head slightly nodded. He did not like sending her in there without more protection however, he knew that he would not convince her otherwise. She would not listen to him even if he did. That was one of her qualities that he was quickly growing to appreciate of her. Her strong will, her caring nature. There was much more that he looked forward to exploring when the time was right.
"Tonight, we rest," Alistair said. "Tomorrow, diplomacy before setting off for home."
Nodding, she relented to his suggestion. If it was her, she'd ride into Ostwick tonight and get it over with. "Very well." She straightened herself on her saddle once again and focused forward. "I suppose it would not be very proper to greet the new Bann of Ostwick in such the dreadful state that I am in."
Alistair snorted in laughter. "Yes, how dreadful you appear, Madame Herald."
She lowered her head, smiling. Remaining silent, she allowed Alistair to continue planning with Captain Winters for their arrival in one of the small, remote villages on the outskirts of Ostwick. A night to rest and rethink about what she was going to say…what she was going to do when she returned to her home would be the best. If she went in there now she may regret what her mouth wants to say or her fists what they'll do.
Being honest with herself, she wanted to walk into the castle and punch him. Grab him by the collar as she kneeled over him and keep hitting him until he was bloodied. Scream a number of obscenities that would not be deemed very lady like.
" —you think?"
Shaking her thoughts of throttling her older brother out of her mind, she turned to find Alistair staring at her with an amused grin on his face.
"And what were you thinking about?" he teased. He looked around to see if anyone was nearby. Finding everyone distracted again, he turned back to her. "Please let it be the same thing I'm thinking about."
Evelyn smiled playfully at him. "And what was that, my lord?"
"A bottle of wine, dinner in bed." He wagged his eyebrows at her. "A warm bath."
"And would that be for one?"
"How boring would that be?" he said.
"Extremely boring and dull," she replied. "Well, we wouldn't want that, now would we? The last thing I want is your return to Ferelden thinking how horrible the Free Marchers are."
He shrugged. "Better than my usual trips to Orlais. My life was only threatened three, maybe four times in the Marches. In Orlais I live in constant fear. I lose weight from not eating or drinking. Sleeping with one eye open all the time."
She laughed. "You slept? That's more than I did."
"Although," he said, scratching at his scruffy cheek. "I did miss the music and dancing. That can be fun."
Evelyn's eyes lifted to the man riding in front of her. Thoughts of the Winter Palace on the balcony, the impromptu dance with Cullen outside after the fighting was all over. Pushing the thoughts away, she nodded.
"Music and dancing can be fun with the right partner, my lord."
"Then if we're lucky, we'll get a chance for that soon?" he thought out loud.
Nodding, she said, "If my lord so requests."
"You still owe me two favors, you know."
Evelyn nodded as she laughed. "Aye. I do, you silly bugger."
"Bugger now, am I?" He laughed, shaking his head. "At least you're not threatening me with a pike again."
A moment of melancholy fell over her. "We're not yet home and I miss you already, Alistair," she said. She turned to him, frowning. "I know I probably shouldn't considering we – "
"I will miss you, too," he interrupted. His hand reached out as they rode down the mountain path. Waiting for her to hook her finger in his briefly before they parted, he smiled. "We'll just do what we can when we are together."
"With you in Denerim and me running around all of Thedas?"
He shrugged. "As King of Ferelden it is my right to travel throughout my kingdom to visit across my land. See how things are going. And make sure that people aren't building a huge vault and army threatening to overthrow me."
Cocking an eyebrow, she stared at him. "I've told you that I'm not going to overthrow you."
"So you say," he said.
He laughed loudly when she rolled her eyes at him. Maybe he had finally met someone who was willing to put up with his antics and eccentricities, he mused. If someone like her was out there that would take him as he is – not his title – there was still hope for him.
Looking up, the smile he wore slowly faded when he caught glimpse of the Inquisition Commander staring back at him. Alistair knew he did not need to answer to Cullen or anyone else about his interests in Evelyn, but he knew it would probably need addressed at some point. Eamon would most likely not be pleased with his pursuit of her. After all, she is allegedly trying to overthrow him or Orlais with her positioning this Skyhold at the boundaries of both countries. Teagan might be pleased but then again, he would probably side with Eamon about the safety of Ferelden.
"Something else to look forward to when I get home," he thought to himself. He glanced at her again as a comfortable silence fell between them as they rode. "Damn them all. I want to be happy for once, too. And if she's the one then they can have my crown and shove it."
It was not so much a small town on the outskirts of Ostwick but more of a waystation between the mountains and the city-state. The connecting road lead west to Kirkwall through the Vinmark Mountains. A small respite for travelers to spend time and coin without making that final journey into Ostwick.
Growing up, Evelyn remembered always looking out the carriage window at the small homes that tradesmen and merchants had built along with the tavern and inn. Her father had often complained about it not providing enough taxes to even allow them to be there every time they rode through. He always threatened to expand the walls but always advised against it by his seneschals on the propriety that it made him look like a kinder ruler over the city-state. Evelyn knew it was more than likely never forced out because her father had a mistress or two that would have liaisons at the inn. She knew she was naive but she was not always blind.
"What a dreadful hovel," Dorian said as he looked ahead. "Dear cousin, I do hope that the wine is worth this."
Evelyn stopped her horse, looking back at the mage and smiled. "If not, my sweet Dorian. I promise you on our return a bottle of the best that Josephine can procure, a bowl of peeled grapes and a stack of newly acquired books for your critic."
The Tevinter smoothed out his mustache, pondering what she offered. "Then I do hope for the worse."
She laughed as she began to turn to dismount. A hand was being held out to her as she shifted on the saddle. The smile eased as she realized it was not Alistair offering to help her off, it was Cullen.
"Inquisitor, allow me to assist," he said. His voice gentle as he held up his hands to assist her.
Nodding, she fell into his arms as she slides off the saddle to her feet. For a moment, amber eyes met emerald as he gripped her waist to assist her down. A spark between them as he held her at arm's length until he felt the stares of around them. Clearing his throat, Cullen stepped away from her. Making a fist, he patted it against his shoulder twice before bowing to her.
"Inquisitor," he said softly before straightening himself. He gave her one last glance before turning to leave to join Captain Winters.
Alistair frowned as he watched Evelyn remained where she stood, unmoving. He knew there was a history between them that was still fresh. Passing the reins to one of his guards, he walked towards her and placed a hand on her upper arm.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
Evelyn turned to him, nodding. "I'm full of thoughts, covered in dirt, tired and very hungry," she answered. A smile slowly curled her lips as she brushed her fingers across his. "Mostly tired and very hungry."
"Let's see how I can remedy that. Shall we?" he said, offering her his hand.
She stepped forward, taking his hand. Tugging at her, he placed her hand in his bent elbow and escorted her towards the inn.
"What's first?" he pondered. "Food? A bath?"
She walked along side him and smiled. "All of the above?"
He patted her hand as he turned to look at her. "That's the perks of being a king. I can arrange all of that."
"You mean throwing your weight around to get people to do what you want?"
Frowning, Alistair placed his hand on his abdomen and looked down. "Hey! Are you calling me fat?"
"Absolutely not," she said, pushing her shoulder into his to knock him off his feet a little. "I think you're a man who gets things done and knows what he wants."
"I never know what I want," he replied. "Usually I let everyone tell me what they think, I listen and just try to do what keeps everyone happy."
She stopped and looked at him. "Sometimes that's what leadership is. Making the most of what's offered and try to do what's best." Evelyn shrugged a shoulder. "Sadly, not always leaving the leader happy except for seeing everyone else happy."
"Sometimes you find happiness yourself," Alistair said. "Other times, it will find you in unlikely places."
