Chapter 45: Figures

Hanna's POV

Last night was really traumatizing. I cannot believe that -A did that to me. Well, I'm not surprised per say, but I thought I had made it trust me. I slowly turn in the bed so I am face to face to Aria. She is still sleeping. I just want to lean in and press my lips against hers, but I know I don't have that right anymore. Probably not ever again. I hurt her too much. I only did it to protect her, but when they say that the end justifies the means, they are wrong. I stare at Aria's face, trying to memorize everything about her. From her soft pink lips, to her round and pointy cute nose, to her almond shaped eyes with their long eyelashes and to her dark but perfectly shaped eyebrows. I can't stop the smile that forms on my lips, but as soon as it appears, I frown, knowing that I can't be with her. I don't deserve her. Just like I didn't deserve Caleb.

I turn to lie on my back and I stare at the ceiling. The girls did come and save me, so maybe all hopes aren't lost. I spend a lot of time like this, thinking about the last few months. At one point, I hear a loud noise coming from the bathroom and Aria wakes up, startled.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's just Spencer or Emily." I reassure her as I turn to face her again.

"Hi," She says sweetly as she calms down and focuses her eyes on me.

"Hey…" I reply full of uncertainty.

We ear a moan coming from the bathroom and Aria suddenly becomes so red. I laugh a little, but I stop myself, knowing that she truly feels uncomfortable.

"Well I guess that the sound was actually Spencer AND Emily," I breath out, laughing at my own comment.

"Your voice is so hoarse, Han. Are you okay? How are you feeling?" Aria asks me as she sits up in bed.

"It hurts so bad, but I know I'll be okay." I say as I grab a glass of water from the nightstand and drink a few sips, trying to sooth my throat. "How are you feeling?"

"Physically I'm fine, but emotionally I feel like I've been run over by a truck." She admits as she looks down.

"Aria, I am so sorry for everything. I wanted to protect you. It hurt so much to see you lying in that bed. I was so scared of what -A was ready to do to any of us, but mostly to you. I couldn't face ever losing you and I figured that it was better for you to be mad at me but alive than for you to love me but end up dead. I was wrong and I am sorry." I confess as a few silent tears run down my cheeks.

Aria looks up and when she sees that I am crying, she launches her body at me and wraps me in her arms tightly. I scoot closer to her so I could feel her body completely against mine. It feels like she will never let go. I know that I have a long way to go to make it up to her, that is if it's even possible, but it feels like a great first step.

We hear Emily getting a lot of pleasure from whatever Spencer is doing to her in the shower.

"Oh my god, is that…?" But Aria is too shy to finish her sentence.

She gets away from me. It is way too weird to hold each other when we are hearing Emily scream like that. Who knew she was a screamer? Aria lies back down and covers her face with a pillow. I laugh at her antics as I leave the room to walk towards the bathroom door. When I arrive in front of it, Emily has apparently cum, but from what I hear she is about to make Spencer really happy so I knock on the door.

"I'm traumatized enough! Get out now!" I scream to them through the door.

I walk back to the room where Aria is still hiding. I jump on the bed and land a little bit on her.

"Urgh" I hear Aria sighs as I start laughing.

"Are they done already?" She asks me from under her pillow.

"I don't think that they were, but now they will be." I say as I lie back down.

"What did you tell them now?" Aria asks as she laughs and finally gets out of her hiding place.

"You know me, I'm so sweet." I say in my hoarse and so not sweet voice right now.

Aria starts laughing and since her laugh is so contagious I join her even though I know she is laughing at my voice right now. That's when Spencer and Emily walk in the room in only their towels.

Aria's POV

As soon as Emily and Spencer are both dressed, we head to the kitchen to eat a little. I am still so shocked about everything that happened in the last few days. Every time that I look at Hanna's blacken neck, I feel the tears reach my eyes. I wish I could've protected her. She did all of that for me and I feel so bad. I don't know how I feel about her.

"Do you want coffee?" Spencer asks as she pours water in the coffee machine.

We all nod our head yes. We slept well, considering, but I think we all want to make sure that we are well awake to deal with what -A is going to throw our way. While Spencer is preparing the coffee, Emily is searching in the fridge for something to eat. She takes out some eggs and milk and a bunch of stuff, getting ready to make an omelet. Spencer wraps her arms around her waist and hugs her to her chest. She whispers what I think is an I love you in her ear. Emily smiles and I want to smile too. I would if I didn't feel like my world had collided around me.

"I'm sorry, I can't pretend anymore. Can we talk about everything now?" I blurt out as everyone stops to look at me.

Hanna, who is sitting next to me, reach out to take my hand, but I pull it away. She looks down, but she takes it upon herself and looks up with a small smile.

"Of course. What do you want to know?" She asks me.

Emily and Spencer keep on cooking, but I know that they are paying attention to the discussion.

"What did -A make you do to us?" My voice is shaking.

I am not sure that I even want to know the answer.

"A few small things. It never felt right, but if it would've been something that I knew would hurt you too much, I never would've done it." Hanna answers, her eyes never leaving mines.

"What happened last night?" Spencer asks, obviously wanting to avoid the weeks where Hanna was backstabbing us.

"When you left, I waited for Mona to stop somewhere, where I thought -A would be, and then I left to meet her. Once I reached the place, I started walking in the woods. I was sure I was going to find -A's lair. When I reached the clearing, there was so many people waiting and I knew that -A had never trusted me. That's when I realised that what I did was for nothing. I thought that I could scare Mona enough for her not to give me up to her boss, but I was wrong. Nobody talked nor moved except for one of the people wearing hoodies. The voice was weird, they were probably using something so I couldn't recognize it. The person grabbed me by the throat and Emily showed up soon after."

"Then what happened?" Spencer questions again.

"When I arrived and saw that she was choking, I launch myself at her, but one of the other -A tackled me to the ground. I started panicking. I didn't know anymore what to do. I managed to make him lift me up and I used his body as a weapon to make Hanna and her attacker fall to the ground. Then I jump between Hanna and the two people and I flung my arms and legs to hit them as much as I could. That's when the police sirens started and they all ran away." Emily fills in. "Wait, how come the police never came? What did Aria and you do?"

"When I saw you run away, it took everything I had not to run after you. Aria was about to run after you, but I grabbed her arm and force her to run back to the car with me. I wasn't sure what to do, but I had a feeling that it was a trap. When we reached the car, I started it and drove to Hanna's car. I asked Aria to play a police siren sound on her phone and we plugged it in the car's radio. We opened the windows and blasted the sound. I asked Aria to stay there and I open a video of sirens on my phone and ran through the woods with it so hopefully people would believe that the police was coming." Spencer informs Hanna and me.

"I waited a while by the car, but I just couldn't bare it so I ran after you and I cursed myself when the distance disconnected my phone from the car, but luckily, everything was already alright." I add.

Hanna starts crying and I'm not sure what to do. Emily steps away from the stove as Spencer takes her place. The tan girl wraps her arms around Hanna and I see that she is crying too. Spencer clings her eyes, probably chasing the tears away. I just feel numb. Seeing Hanna cry usually made me cry too, but right now I just don't feel anything.

"You guys saved my life." Hanna says between sobs.

Emily just hugs her tighter. Spencer shuts off the stove and pours the omelet into four plates. She sets them in front of all of us and takes a place around the island counter too. Emily and Hanna keep on holding on to each other. Spencer looks at me, but I avoid her eyes. I take the fork and start to dig in my plate, avoiding the conversation altogether. I know that I am the one who asked but realising that I could've loose Hanna yesterday makes me feel dead inside. I finish up my plate and get up. I grab my keys and walk towards the door. Emily and Hanna have started eating by that time, but Spencer is done too.

As I put my hand on the door handle, Spencer wraps her hand around mine, spooking me.

"Please don't leave." Spencer says with pleading eyes.

"I don't know what to do, Spence. I don't know how to… be… around her. I don't know where I stand anymore." I confess with tears in my eyes.

"I get that, but don't walk away from us." Spencer says as she takes a step back, letting me choose between them or the door.

I stand there for what seems like an eternity. I'm so mad and so confused right now. I want to rip Hanna's head off and hug her so tight at the same time. I hate her with all my heart but I love her to death. All of those feelings are so intense that I just don't feel anything at all. I'm numb. I don't want to feel. Not anymore. I look at the door then I look at Spencer. She hasn't move either. She is still waiting for me to choose. I look past her shoulder and see Emily looking at me with a sad smile, probably knowing my dilemma. Then I look to her right and see Hanna looking at me. She looks like she wants to ask me to stay, but she doesn't. She knows she doesn't have that right anymore. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in.

"I'll be back later." I say as I walk out the door and leave them all behind.

I hear Spencer take a breath in, probably preparing herself to call out my name, but she doesn't. Like Hanna, she knows it's not worth it. She knows I'm not worth it. They let me go. They let me leave.


Hi guys! Here's another chapter. Please tell me how you feel about it.

Thanks for siophiefandom who took that time to review.

The title is from a Jessie Reyez song.