The Fate of the First Hero of Light
"GEIR I HAVE RECEIVED WORD THAT THE CAMPAIGN IN THE SOUTH IS AT A STALEMATE. PLEASE POSTPONE THE TOUR WE MUST ASSIST THEM!"
"Yes, Knight let us leave."
We arrive at the battlefield.
The Kingdom's soldiers are engaging the enemies tribes.
They are struggling, the mountainous terrain is proving very difficult for them to balance on. Their heavy armour making it difficult to walk through the thick snow. Their metal boots slide on the ice.
The enemy tribes are used to the challenging terrain, they move with speed between the soldiers. They strike them but their weapons cannot penetrate the metal armour.
Like dancing at a ball were two partners are dancing. The one is a master of dance and the other one has never entered the ball room. They struggle over each other and nothing is accomplished.
"GEIR WHAT SHOULD WE DO?"
"We will have to engage them as we did in the past."
"Why Geir?"
"Our attacks have become more spectacular and powerful. But if we use our new techniques many of our own comrades will die."
"CAN I NOT ORDER OUR TROOPS TO FALL BACK?"
"Knight if they only rely on us, they will face the same problems my Tribe faced."
"Geir what is that?" "Fire Mage they will become inept and lazy."
"We cannot just do nothing." says Zelda
"We will support them."
"WHAT?!"
"Knight did you relay the message to the troops?"
"YES, THEY UNDERSTAND! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?!"
"You will use your experience as a leader, to command us and win this battle."
"UNDERSTOOD! SIR IZDRYN IF YOU WOULD!"
"Yes, Sir Hunfrey!"
"ARMOUR OF CERBERUS"
All the Kingdom's soldiers are covered in magical flames. The enemies are shocked.
"SIR RAOLIN SEND THE SPECIAL UNITS!"
"AT ONCE! ATTACK!"
My Tribes people move forward and kill the enemies.
"FALL BACK!"
They retreat backwards to the other soldiers and fall into formation.
"LADY VIVILARA THE WATER SPELL!"
"Yes, Sir Hunfrey!"
"Water Style Water Torrent Jutsu!"
Water flows out of the ground and pushes the enemies backward.
"GEIR FREEZE THE WATER!"
"Yes, Knight." I freeze the water the enemies are trapped in the ice.
"YOUR MAJESTY IF YOU WOULD!"
"Yes, Sir Hunfrey!"
Zelda drops many small clay balls on the ground. They form small birds and centipedes, they move with speed towards the ice wall. They fly as close as possible or wrap themselves around the faces of the enemies.
Zelda lifts up her right hand upwards to face level. Her hand is closed, only extending her index and middle finger.
"KATSU!"
There is a massive explosion, it is so loud my ears are ringing. The large block of ice I made is disintegrated into small ice flakes by the force of the explosion.
"CHARGE MEN!"
The soldiers move to attack the panicked enemies that are left.
Moments later...
"Knight good work."
"THANK YOU FOR THE PRAISE GEIR!"
"How many battles still?"
"SIR RAOLIN REPORT!"
"YES, SIR!..."
"GEIR IT WOULD SEEM THE TRIBES HAVE BEEN DEFEATED! THEY ARE FALLING BACK. WE ARE VERY CLOSE TO OUR SOUTHERN BORDERS. SHOULD WE PURSUE THEM PAST THEM?"
"No, Knight do not worry my Tribe will punish them at a later date."
"EXCUSE ME!"
"My Tribe lives on two different maps."
"WHAT?!"
"Do not worry about that, let us return."
I see my Grandmother in the distance. She is wearing a disguise.
"Zelda change into your clothes we are leaving immediately."
"GEIR NO REALLY MUST I GO?"
"Zelda it is your responsibility as the ruler to ensure the prosperity of the lands people. Many of the older people have died in the fighting. The young ones may not understand how children are made."
"GEIR NO PLEASE!"
"ZELDA?!"
"GEIR WHAT?"
"DON'T TELL ME! YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW BABIES ARE MADE!"
Zelda starts crying
"Geir...no...stop...please...do...I...really"
"Zelda I am not playing the fool. That the populous is increased as fast as possible, is off extreme importance to the future of your nation."
"Geir..."
"Remember I have to face the same challenges you have to."
"What do you mean Geir?"
"In this campaign I have lost one quarter of my tribe."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY GEIR?!"
"You heard me right. So that my Tribes lost members are quickly replaced. I will set a new minimum child limit of four children for female members of my Tribe."
"GEIR IS THAT NOT ASKING TO MUCH OF A PERSON?"
"Knight you once told me you had mastered the Greatsword by 7. I cannot expect anyone to have skills of your level. If they can master it at 10, I will deem that acceptable."
"GEIR HOW DOES THAT PERTAIN TO FORCING THE LADIES OF YOUR TRIBES TO HAVE CHILDREN?"
"These next 10 suncycles if all goes well. Is going to be the most stressful and bloody period in my life."
"WHAT?!"
"Enough of my Tribe's people have died, that if the other Tribes unite they can destroy us."
"Geir that is not something to joke about." says the Fire Mage.
"Fire Mage I am not joking. My Tribes incompetence led to this. In the great war they fought for many years. The Kingdom could not crush them, they rather disbanded. We were fighting inferior warriors in this war, yet our losses were so great."
"GEIR BUT THEY FOUGHT BRAVELY AND WITH HONOUR!"
"Knight the ones we are fighting have no honour. You cannot win against them with normal tactics. You saw for yourself how the enemies fight. What would happen if all our enemies united?"
"THAT WOULD BE DISASTROUS FOR YOUR TRIBE!"
"Sir Hunfrey what do you mean?"
"YOUR MAJESTY WE HAVE MANY MEN IN OUR ARMY, MORE THAN THE WHOLE TULOK TRIBE."
"EXCUSE ME?!"
"Zelda that is why I do not care. They will produce the children."
"Can we not station some of our soldiers to protect you. We are allies."
"Zelda you live many times longer than a Hume. I will not be the leader forever, I have to make sure my tribe will be able to have a future. I also have dreams of my own."
"DREAMS? GEIR?"
"Zelda's incompetence as a leader. Has led me to think maybe I can also make my own country. We own much land. Almost as much as the smallest province of the Kingdom."
"YOU DARE QUESTION OUR MAJESTY'S LEADERSHIP SKILLS?!"
"Geir I would like to open a school there. With recent goings-on, I will have to ensure my Clans future as well."
"Fire Mage I will have my Grandmother speak to you."
"I understand Geir."
"SIR IZDRYN MY FRIEND?"
"Sir Hunfrey the "Demon Geir the Terrible" is known widely in our lands since his last visit. Our enemies fear him they will not enter his domain."
THE DEMON GEIR THE TERRIBLE!" I think it has been awhile since I have screamed this loudly my vision fades...
"Geir wake up what is the matter?"
"Zelda I was just ruffled."
I stand up and compose myself.
"Zelda this tour is of utmost importance to the future of your Kingdom. I see my Grandmother has arrived."
"TEELA! SAVE ME!" "YOUR LADYSHIP!" "Princess Teela!" Everyone escapes only the Dark Elf and myself are left.
"Geir are you sure this is the right thing to do?"
"Vivi we have no other choice the future of our tribe rests in these next few suncycles."
"Yes, you are right Geir if only I..."
I embrace my beautiful blue wife.
"It will work somehow, someday for sure."
"Yes, Geir."
"Vivilara how are you?" "Grandmother!" the Dark Elf embraces my Grandmother.
"Geir are you ready?'
"Yes, where is Zelda?"
I see a young woman, she is wearing a red provocative dress she is crying very hard.
My Grandmother takes off her parka. She is wearing the same dress as when she was in the other world selling the oils. The Knight has passed out. The scene of the barely clad beauties shocking him.
"Zelda here take this." I hand it to her. The tears are still flowing. She reaches in the bag. "What is this?" She pulls out a flaccid member. "Do not be alarmed I have both of the necessary parts. I bought them at a reputable adult shop. We only need wash them with water to cleanse them."
Zelda falls over.
"Your Highness." "Zelda! What is wrong?"
We enter the first town. The men are whistling, showing signs and gawking over Zelda and my Grandmother in their provocative short dresses. My Grandmother is in heaven enjoying every bit of the attention she is getting. Zelda is smoldering at the situation she is in. One man whistles too loudly see glares at him so coldly. The hair on my neck stands up straight. Every man goes about their business, their lust having disappeared.
"Zelda we are trying to get people to have children. Not to scare them into impotency."
"Geir why?"
"Zelda I am going to leave if you do not take this seriously. Do you think I have nothing to do with my time. So that I can go on this tour?"
"Still Geir."
"Zelda we are doing this for the nations people. Not for your personal feelings. There are many opportunities I am losing."
"Opportunities Geir?"
"I had to renew contracts with businesses in a far away country. That contract is lost forever to us."
"Geir I understand thank you."
"Can we continue?"
"Yes."
Zelda starts doing some dances. The male's desires have returned.
I call all the inhabitants to the town square. I stand at the back. Zelda is starting she is whispering. "I CANNOT HEAR YOU HOT STUFF!" Everyone giggles.
Zelda sees me, as if a switch had been flipped she starts screaming the processes and methods. Finally it is finished the inhabitants stand up and take in what they have learned.
A clay bird flies next to my head.
ZELDA IS GOING TO KILL ME!.
I point to the towns folk. Each of them are analyzing what they had learned.
The explosive snot clay bird falls into one of my parka's pockets.
"Geir what does this mean? I thought they would succumb to their carnal desires?"
"Shame Zelda."
" "Shame" Geir?"
"People consider it shameful to talk about these things. People expect the unreasonable "you will figure it out for yourself". They use many other excuses, just so that they do not have to talk to their children or family."
"I understand. I think..."
"Let us leave for the next town."
"Should I not heal the town's people."
"No, they have many things to think about."
The next town...
I have beaten him so badly his nose will never heal correctly. I drop his disfigured body on the ground. "Let me teach you the meaning of respect." The rest of the "tough guy gang" are defeated.
"GEIR WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"
"I just had to teach these people, what would happen if they disrespect you or my Grandmother. We are leaving to the next town."
"We didn't teach here!"
"Zelda if you cannot respect a woman, it does not matter how much you teach them. They will not care, they do not see you as a person."
"Geir what do you mean by that?"
"Zelda let us leave."
We move to the end of the town the inhabitants move to stop us.
"Did bandits take over this town?"
"Give the women to us"
I lift up my hand from the ground. The mush of his broken head falls out.
"Leave or die." I glare at them.
"You thi.."
There is a river of blood and bodies laying on the road leading outside of the town.
"Geir what did I miss? Here Zelda have a cooked potato." says my Grandmother.
"Zelda let us head back into town."
We enter the town.
"Zelda kill anyone that moves to attack you. Find where they kept the townsfolk."
"KEPT?!"
We enter a large store, all the townsfolk are inside.
"They are all dead."
Zelda falls backwards on the ground.
"What happened here?"
"The bandits attacked the town, played with the townsfolk then killed them. When travelers entered they would attack them, rob them then kill them."
"Why would they do this?"
"Zelda when there is something valuable and it is not guarded well enough. Thieves move to take it."
"Geir I don't understand."
"There were not enough people left in the town to defend it. They were overwhelmed and finally fell victim to the bandits."
"No, Geir."
"Zelda move outside of the town. I will destroy it."
"GEIR YOU CANNOT DO THAT!"
"Bandits will claim this town again. This is what happens when many people have died in a war."
I froze every building I shatter them, only the foundations are left nothing else. There is a large empty lot, where the town used to be."
"Let us move to the next town."
Zelda is relaxed now. Talking without shame. Even the boys that were whistling and winking only short moments ago. Are transfixed taking in every bit of information. Again when we finished each one of the residents thinking thoughtfully about what they had learned.
"Zelda how are you feeling?"
"How should I feel Geir?"
"You should be glad. The Queen's Seal of Approval will increase birth rates exponentially. "
"SEAL OF APPROVAL!"
"The Knight and Fire Mage have been following us. They are explaining to the people it was really you, that had visited them."
"NOOOOO GEIRRR! WHY GIVE ME THIS DISGUISE?!"
"The dress is not a disguise. It is to drum up excitement to get the peoples attention."
Zelda's hand is in front of her face those two fingers are extended. SHIT! I still have the snot clay in my pocket!
"Excuse me miss."
"Yes."
A young woman approaches Zelda. She explains how glad she is to learn this. She and her husband had been struggling for many times. They never knew what to do. While bowing towards Zelda she leaves.
I feel a centipede crawl out of my pocket.
It goes up Zelda's leg and moves on her arm and into HER HAND! IT HAS BEEN IN MY PARKA FOR TWO DAYS! Those cursed hand mouths start EATING IT!
"EEEEEEIIIIIII!" I scream out of disgust and shock.
"GEIR WHAT IS WRONG!"
"Stay away with those hands! Let us move to the next town."
After many days and much explanations later. We almost reach the Capitol.
I open the bag I have been carrying.
"Grandmother, Zelda here you are."
"Really Geir do I have to wear this?" I have become an expert at not looking at my almost naked Grandmother. I try and see her with my peripheral vision. Seeing her naked form might shock me too much.
"Yes, Grandmother we are going back to normal life."
"Geir this is my normal dress. Why should I wear this?"
"The tour is finished. Forget about everything you learned on this journey. Return to being just plain Zelda."
"GEIR WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?"
"You taught the people. Now it is their turn to teach their families and children."
"Should I not teach them anymore?"
"The people need someone they can idolize, someone they can strive to be, you will have to be that person. If someone asks you feign ignorance."
"GEIR YOU CANNOT REALLY EXPECT ME TO STAY QUIET THEN!"
"I do expect you to. The Knight has most definitely threatened each of the towns we have visited, with total destruction. If it was leaked that it was you."
"I WILL HAVE TO SPEAK WITH..."
"Zelda he is worried that people may spread rumors and paint you in an obscene way. I would not have taken this risk, if the situation was not as dire as it is now."
"RISK?!"
"Zelda a rulers reputation and the publics perception of them can lead to success or ruin. The people see you as the person who had to abandon her royalty to help them. If you do not rise back to that level. They will only see you as another normal person. You will lose their respect. Do not worry about this for now. Grandmother."
"Zelda get dressed."
"Teela?"
When we arrived at Capital. The streets were filled to the brim with people the Queen had met or taught.
As we walked they bowed deeply to the Queen.
We walked up to the podium.
She wanted to speak.
I stopped her and walked up.
I explained the repercussions of what would happen to the person, that leaked any information about this tour. Which methods would be used and how long they would suffer.
I reprimanded them for their own stupidity.
That the Queen had to humiliate herself, to explain things that was the family's responsibilities.
It was explained that since she blessed them personally with this knowledge, a minimum of three children per family will be set.
I told them my Tribe was spread throughout the land, I will always be watching them. It was also explained that if they asked her again regarding these matters, I would personally cut off their ears because clearly they do not work.
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
Some were still murmuring.
I am flying on my ice dragon. The people who where murmuring have soiled and wet their pants. My Grandmother jumped from the 10th floor of the podium she has an ice sword. Everyone is running in fear of us. Finally after all the people where chased back into the Capitol's square.
"LET US START AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
"YES, SIR GEIR!"
"GET LOST!"
"YES, SIR GEIR!"
The populous flees.
"Geir I am speechless."
"Zelda no need to thank me."
"THAT IS NOT WHY I AM SPEECHLESS!"
"Zelda now it is my turn."
"TURN?!"
"Tomorrow my Tribe is having a meeting. You will teach them as well."
Zelda sighs deeply "Geir give me the dress and the bag!"
Finish.
