Chapter 43: Relationships and trust.

Chariot was watching Akko from a window. Her student had told her that today she'd finally confess to Diana… but she had truly gone a little overboard, as she'd feared and predicted.

The courtyard had become a stage for Akko's performance, and all the entrances were blocked by giant mushrooms (no doubt Sucy's work). The place had been decorated with props and materials meant for the Samhain Festival, which had probably been "borrowed" by the green team. Although the cake that said "I love you, Diana" was probably not stolen, and instead made by Jasminka. And the illumination was no doubt being handled by Constanze. Akko truly had some very good friends!

And the spectacle itself was amazing too, complete with a Shiny Chariot costume that Ursula hoped wasn't the one she had hidden in her closet. Akko had done metamorphosis magic, in her own unique incomplete way, as well as some illusion magic and, while her level of mastery wasn't as good as Chariot's once was yet, she was definitely on the right path to become even better.

Diana was of course overwhelmed by all of it, especially at the end when Akko finished her spectacle and bowed down upon Diana's enthusiastic claps before making flowers appear on her hand and (probably) asking Diana to be her girlfriend.

The two had been laughing and kissing and hugging for a few minutes now, radiating pure bliss, although Chariot suspected that, once the high passed, Diana would realize that they'd get into trouble for what Akko had done to the courtyard.

"Professor Ursula!" Chariot jumped upon hearing the familiar cold and stern voice of Finnelan. It was as if her blood had literally turned into ice inside her veins, and she barely managed to order her body to turn around and her mouth to answer.

"Y-yes?"

"I believe I sent you to investigate what was happening on the courtyard over half an hour ago." Her eyes were scary enough to turn Chariot's legs into jelly, but she still tried to answer.

"A-ah, yes. Well, you s-see…" She trailed off when she couldn't come up with a good excuse. Truth to be told, she had been too touched by Akko's performance and subsequent confession to dare interrupt it. But she doubted Finnelan would think that explanation to be reasonable.

"Well?" Finnelan prompted, raising an eyebrow and putting her hands on her hips.

"A-Akko… I mean, Miss Kagari is there with Miss Cavendish and… there's some mushrooms blocking the exits, but… I'm sure Diana will deal with them soon enough." That was the best explanation she could manage.

"I see." Finnelan then went to stand next to Chariot and looked out the window too, just in time to see the two girls kiss one more time, which made her let out a long, long sigh.

"I swear, those girls… they're just like you and Croix back in the day." Finnelan's voice was exasperated, but… if Chariot didn't know better, she could have sworn she'd heard a hint of fondness in it as well.

"I hope not." She found herself saying. "I hope they're better." Then, she paused for a second before adding "I already know they are."

"They did revive magic, which is a feat no one else has been able to accomplish, but I have a feeling you aren't talking about that." This… more talkative side of Finnelan was honestly giving Chariot the creeps, but something compelled her to answer anyways.

"They're good for each other. They care deeply for each other, they help each other… they're just… better." Finnelan just nodded at her explanation.

"You know? Back then I thought Miss Meridies should spend less time with you and more time with other students on her level, but even I couldn't deny that what you two shared was genuine and deep."

Chariot blushed at her words and turned to look outside again, unable to keep looking at the other professor in the eyes.

"I don't know what happened between you two, but… even with all the bad things she's done, I do think that a connection still exists. And… maybe you could be a good influence on her, for a change." Finnelan sounded incredibly awkward when she spoke, but somehow, Chariot felt even more awkward herself, blushing madly and frozen on the spot. She couldn't even manage to open her mouth to say something, which stretched the silence and accentuated the awkwardness even more.

"I'll go back to the headmistress and report to her what happened." Finnelan was the one who broke the silence, thankfully not bringing up Chariot's love life again. "Professor Ursula, I trust that you will be able to solve the issue at hand and have the courtyard cleaned before dinner."

"Y-yes, Professor Finnelan." She squeaked out. She felt very much like when she was a student and got caught doing something against the rules. Finnelan tended to have that effect on her, even to this day.

"Very well." And with that, the strict professor was gone, leaving Chariot to solve this big problem on her own. As always.


Later that day, Chariot returned to her room, completely exhausted. She barely had the energy to change into her pajamas before dropping down on the couch. Still… she was thankful that the girls had actually helped her clean everything, or else she'd still be out there working on it. She was less thankful at Akko's clumsiness spilling a potion on the mushrooms that made them actively fight back when they tried to get rid of them, even reversing their own spells back at them. Of course, she suspected Sucy had had something to do with it as well.

But anyways… at least it was over now and Akko and Diana truly seemed to be happy together. The blonde girl was quite shy about it, of course, blushing when Akko pretty much yelled at her professor that she'd finally confessed and Diana, the Diana, had said yes to her. It was truly a sight to behold; both girls smiling so happily the whole time, completely and utterly in love with each other.

It kinda… brought back some memories. Of when she started dating Croix and it seemed like nothing could make her upset or sad ever again. Those first few days… they had been pure bliss.

But… Chariot frowned when she remembered what happened soon after. Of course, things were never completely fine between them. And it wasn't just because of the Shiny Rod. Croix… she had her own issues.


I would say that I'm a pretty lucky girl. Sure, my life hasn't been the easiest, exactly, considering my mom died and all that, but all in all I'd say I've been pretty happy most of the time. And in all of my lucky life, I'd say my luckiest and most wonderful weeks have been these past two.

Why? Well, just because I have the most wonderful girlfriend ever. That's right, I'm taking about Croix; my former best friend.

The first days were a bit… weird, I'll admit as much. Given that neither of us had had any experience in this whole dating thing, we really didn't know what to do. There were lots of blushing, awkwardness and hesitance involved, and the first couple of days we mostly acted as if nothing was really different, except for the couple of kisses we shared in private.

Yet, two weeks later I think we're getting the hang of it. Mostly.

You see… we finally started kissing each other without having to ask and blush and be awkward about it. We also sometimes hold hands under the table during meals without it being a big deal. We've even cuddled on Croix's lab couch after we stayed up late studying!

But… there's always a but, isn't there?

Well, the but here is… I know Croix is hiding something. And maybe it shouldn't bother me so much because… well, just because we're a couple now doesn't mean we have to share everything, right? Right. Except… this secret of hers is affecting our relationship somehow.

Sometimes I go to her secret lab after class and she makes me wait a few minutes before opening the door. Sometimes I'm talking to her, but it seems her mind is somewhere else. And sometimes… sometimes she tries to pretend everything is fine but her eyes are bloodshot and her skin looks pale. She always says that it's because she's stayed up late studying, but… I know her. I know how she looks like when she's been crying. I know all these signals and I know what they mean; something is causing her distress. And she's not willing to let me help her.

I honestly thought this whole secrecy stuff would be left behind us once we became girlfriends (mainly because I assumed most of her distress came from her hiding what she feels for me), but… I guess Croix will be Croix. No matter if we're friends or girlfriends.

I've been trying to give her some space and privacy since I know she doesn't really react well to prying, but… I have come to the conclusion that enough is enough. Today I will confront her and hopefully find out what's causing her so much distress.

We're in the Astronomy tower, as usual. Croix is studying, and me… well, I'm pretending to do so as well. But really I'm thinking on the best way to bring up the subject. I don't want Croix to pull away again after all.

"Spill it." Croix says with a long, exaggerated sigh as she closes the book she was reading.

"Eh?" Her question catches me by surprise, but she just turns to look at me and gives me a knowing smile.

"I know something's on your mind. You have been 'reading' the same page for the past thirty minutes."

"N-no! I just… I haven't… uhh…" I stutter, trying to come up with an excuse, but I falter upon her questioning stare.

"I know you want to tell me something. I've been feeling your eyes on me this whole time." She chuckles.

"W-well… uhhh… c-can't I look at my girlfriend for no particular reason?" I blush heavily at what my words implied, but I don't dare take it back. This is not how I planned this conversation to go!

Croix pretends to think about it for a second before answering.

"I suppose you can." She finally says, and I let out a relieved sigh. "However," I tense again when I hear that word. "You don't fool me. There's something in your mind isn't there?"

"I… well…"

"And I would really appreciate it if you told me instead of acting on it on your own and getting into trouble so I have to save you, like usual."

"I wasn't- why does everyone think I'm gonna get into trouble all the time?!" Croix just raises an eyebrow at me in response. "Okay, I get it, but still… I wasn't planning anything dangerous, or reckless or whatever. This time."

Croix just laughs before getting up from her chair and coming to sit next to me on the couch.

"Alright, I believe you." I look in her eyes for a moment, but it really appears like she's being honest, so I relax. "But will you tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" She ruffles my hair affectionately in a way that always makes a smile appear on my face and a desire to kiss her overtake my conscious thoughts, but… no. I shall resist. This conversation is important!

"Well…" Guess it's now or never, huh? "I just… you've been acting weird lately." I say, forcing a smile to appear on my face in order to hopefully reduce a little the accusatory feeling of the statement. Croix just looks to the side in response.

"So you've noticed." Well… at least she didn't deny it. That's a start.

"Yeah… is something wrong?" I carefully place my hand on her shoulder, and she doesn't pull away.

"Maybe." She makes a grimace.

"Uhh… can you tell me about it?"

"No." She sighs. "I'm sorry Chariot, but this is personal."

"Personal? Croix, I'm your girlfriend! If you can't trust me when something's bothering you, then who?"

"You can't help me with this!" She snaps. "Listen, I love you, but you can't solve all of my problems."

"I don't- I…" I pause, trying to appease the pain I'm suddenly feeling inside my chest because of the angry and downright annoyed tone she used. It's alright. She didn't mean to hurt me. Croix is simply a reserved person, that's all, but she needs my help, I know it!

"Sorry." She says dejectedly.

"It's alright." I reply almost automatically. "But Croix… I'm not trying to solve your problems, okay? I just… I thought that… maybe talking about them would help?" I pause, but Croix just gives me a doubting stare. "I just don't want you to suffer in silence when I could be there for emotional support."

"Thank you." She manages to give me a small sad smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "But… I don't know if I'm ready to share this with anyone. Not even you."

"Why? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course! But… you wouldn't understand." She frowns.

"Try me."

"Chariot…

"Come on! Tell me whatever you want to say! I'll be here for you."

"Why can't you ever take no for answer?!" She yells angrily.

"Because you are too damn stubborn for your own good!" I snap back.

"Or maybe you're just too stupid to understand what I'm saying."

Silence.

Suddenly everything is in silence. Even the beating of my heart seems to have stopped for a second. It hurts. It really, really hurts. Did Croix… did she actually mean it? She thinks I'm stupid? I can't even think anymore. All my energy is concentrated on trying not to cry.

Wow. This is what I feared would happen. Croix pushing me away again. Maybe not physically, but… this is somehow even more painful.

"Char… Cherry." She says softly as she carefully touches my cheek. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just… I'm sorry." Her eyes look truly regretful, and she seems to be desperately looking at me for a sign that I'll forgive her, but… I'm still recovering, as if I had just taken a hit to the stomach and I'm trying to force air into my lungs again.

I close my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. I struggle to say something. I don't even know what, just anything! But I know if I open my mouth I'll just end up crying.

"I know. I'm a horrible girlfriend. A horrible person. That's why I hate myself." She tries to chuckle, but it sounds strangled and… bitter. Finally, I dare to open my eyes and look at her blurry image distorted by my unshed tears.

"I know… I know that you're too good for me." She keeps saying. "I've known it from the moment I met you. Maybe even before then."

"C-Croix…?" I manage to say somehow.

"Happiness is not for everyone. I've learned this the hard way. And… if happiness was one person, for me it'd be you."

"Croix… what are you saying?" The pain I felt is finally receding, being replaced by worry for my girlfriend.

"I… I don't know." She sighs, getting up from the couch and walking slowly towards her desk. But instead of sitting on the chair once more, like I expected, she just grabs its back and grips it tightly.

"Does this have something to do with what's bothering you?" I ask in a small voice, afraid she'll snap at me again.

"Maybe." She frowns.

"It's okay…" I sigh. "If you're not ready to tell me yet, I understand." I do mean what I said, but… I still end up sounding a little bitter and disappointed. And the knot on my throat doesn't really help either.

"I'm not." She admits, closing her eyes tightly in a deep frown. "But… time is tickling and I know you will find out sooner rather than later anyways."

I tilt my head in confusion. Find out about what? I don't really get what she means, but it worries me greatly. Still, I don't dare breaking the silence or even moving a finger. It feels like the slightest disruption will bring in a storm.

"Chariot." She opens her eyes and speaks after a few tense moments of silence. "You know my secret, correct?"

"S-secret?" I stutter. I have no idea what she's talking about! Her obsession with technology? The fact that she went to Arcturus forest? The magical wound in her hand? The recent drop on her grades? … Us?

"I told you that I was adopted, didn't I?"

Oh. Yeah, I do remember that, but I didn't think it was a secret. However, she keeps talking despite my lack of answer.

"I've kept it a secret because… I have a reputation to maintain. As the prodigy of Luna Nova it would be unfitting for me to come from a non-magical blood line." She elaborates, as if answering my silent question.

"That's dumb!" I protest. "Blood means nothing. I mean, look at me! I'm a descendant of one of the Nine Olde Witches and I'm a disaster!"

"Which is why you've kept your own lineage a secret, correct?" She gives me a pointed look that instantly shuts me up. It's sad, but she does have a point; bloodlines still matter in the magical world.

"But anyways… I don't want to talk about that." She says, her voice trembling slightly at the end, and her grip on the chair tightening. "What I really need to tell you is… I have to go back home in a few days."

"W-what?" I frown. I don't think we have vacations, or a holiday soon, and Croix doesn't really seem like the type to miss classes for even a day.

"It should just be a weekend, but… I-I… I really don't want to go." This time not only her voice trembles, but her limbs too, and she lets out a few shaky breaths, as if trying to stop herself from crying.

I instantly get up and walk towards her, but then pause. I hesitate, not knowing if coming closer would make the situation even worse.

"Why? I ask instead. Sure, I know Croix's mom is kinda strict with her… but she looks downright terrified of going home right now, and I can't think of something that would grant such a reaction from her.

Croix places her arms on the chair's back and then buries her face between them before answering. As if she wants to hide her tears.

"Because… m-my mother… my r-real mother… she wants to meet me."

I have never heard a silence as loud as the one who reigns here at this moment. Croix's mom? Her biological mom, she means? She wants to meet her? But… why does she look so miserable then? Why is she shaking with sobs? I know I would give anything to meet my real mom for just one day! I mean… I love my aunt a lot, but… I've always been curious about how my mother was actually like, so… I really don't understand Croix at all. I feel like there's one piece missing in this puzzle.

"That's good… right?" I ask hesitantly, but get a bitter laughter in response. A laughter so devoid of happiness that it gives me chills.

"Good?!" She pretty much spats, finally lifting her head and turning to look at me with teary red eyes. "That woman abandoned me when I was just a few days old! She left me on the sidewalk as if I was just a piece of trash that she couldn't be bothered to carry home!"

I flinch as her words pierce me one by one. I can feel the anger, frustration and sadness radiating from her, and… now the puzzle is finally complete. I finally get it. Why Croix's been acting do weirdly lately… it suddenly makes sense.

"No, Chariot, I don't want to meet her! I would rather die before seeing her stupid face! But did my mom listen to me?! Did she even stop to think about what I might want before inviting her for dinner?! Of course not! Because my opinion doesn't fucking matter! Only hers!"

Oh damn. What… what should I do now? I don't even know what to say! I'm paralyzed. I didn't anticipate something as serious as this!

"I-I… I don't have a choice though." She finally stops yelling, deflating like a popped balloon as more tears fall from her eyes. "My mom… she's already talked to Holbrooke and made plans to pick me up herself. I'm… trapped."

I can only look at her crying form and feel my own tears form as well, though I hold them in. I have no idea how to help her, or even if I can.

"I suppose you've already told your mom that you really don't want this?" I ask in a small voice.

"I did." She nods. "But she keeps insisting it's for my own good." She clenches her eyelids tightly, squeezing out a torrent of tears from her eyes.

I hesitantly place my hand on her shoulder, but she doesn't pull away instantly, which gives me enough courage to pull her in for a tight hug. She tenses briefly at the contact, but then promptly reciprocates, burying her face on my neck. I can feel her tears slowly soaking my skin, but they don't really bother me. I just feel really, really bad for her. I can't even imagine what she might be going through.

"Thank you." She says between sobs. "For being here for me. I-I… I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"You don't have to thank me." I quickly retort. "This is the least I can do." I say as I continue hugging her and tracing soothing circles on her back.

And... It's just the normal thing to say, right? The answer you're supposed to give in situations like this, but… as the words pass my lips I realize they're true. This is really the least I can do, but… I love Croix! I'm her girlfriend! I should be doing more!

"Hey, uh… if you want… you think I could…?" Oh my God, this is a terrible idea! But she's already looking at me expectantly. I can't back out now! "You think… I could go with you? As emotional support."

"W-what?" She stares intently into my eyes in a way that makes me nervous.

"Only if you want! It could do you some good to have someone there when… well, when you meet her." I finish with a nervous laugh, but Croix's still staring.

"I-I… I appreciate the offer." She says after a moment of silence.

"But?" I prompt.

"But… I haven't told my mom about… well… us."

"You think she'll have a problem?" I raise an eyebrow. I mean… sure, I might not be the best Luna Nova student, like Croix, but I do think I'm a good girlfriend. Or at least I'm trying. The worst that could happen is that her mom gives me the 'don't hurt my daughter' talk… right?

"No, no." She quickly assures me. "That's not what's worrying me." She sighs. "I'd just rather leave that conversation for another time."

"I can pretend I'm just your friend, then!" I argue.

"Char." She snaps sternly. "I said no."

And that was the end of the conversation. Every time I tried to bring up the subject later, she'd quickly shut me down. But I knew I wasn't going to let her go through that alone, no matter if she was too stubborn to accept my help. I'd follow her home no matter what, and there was no force on Earth that could stop me.


A/N: Well, look at that! Diakko is finally together, and Charoix as well, yet it looks things are about to get complicated nontheless XD. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I certainly know I did, and please leave a review/follow/favorite if you want to support me.

Thanks for reading!

Thanks to my beta reader moonwatcher13.