Hi Everyone I've got another chapter for you all because I had the time to finish it. I've been working on some other stories and trying to rework some things but I promise to finish this story. I do have this very important Authors note:

[ It's come to my attention that two of the earlier chapters from Arc 1 are a bit of a deal breaker for some of the new readers that find this story, now any of you that have been here since the beginning haven't said anything nor complained about these chapters but with the levels of tolerance and sensitivity on certain subjects I am again stating that This story will gradually get darker at points dealing with subjects that some may find uncomfortable. True when I first started writing and posting I didnt really give much of a heads up about things mainly because I didnt want to spoil the chapter but I feel I've become better at warning and letting you readers know what to expect in a sense. As well as taking the time to mark and recap so that those who feel uncomfortable reading ceratin parts know whats going on with out having to such things.

I wont say who complained nor name the chapters only that they will get an authors note with warning. I implore everyone that reading is meant to be fun and a form of escapism to follow the journey of characters we know and love, but please do not read anything you know you arent going to like. This Story is called The Martyr for a reason, meaning that yes there will be happy, loving fluff and all that but the characters in the story will go through things that are harsh and difficult as well and given that at the moment there is a war things are bound to get ugly and cruel even. not in this chapter but I will let you all know when things do.]

Guest 1: Im happy to know you gave my story a chance and continue to read, and that you binged read it amazes me. Thank you for thinking so highly of my story. Arc ! was easier to write being as it followed along the story of the books and movies, arc 2 is a little harder being as the template i have to work off that I had made has no real meat so to speak. but Im glad you like the story and I know the angst is killier but I didn't want to just gloss over the mixture of emotions that comes with what they went through, but I promise Skyler and Hermione will be together again. I hope this sates your need to read though and that you like this newest chapter just as much.

Guest 2: Im glad you like the story and I promise they will just a few more bumps they have to work through before they do ;)

PeanutBanana: First love the user name :) secondly Im glad you like the update and that this one keeps you wanting more.

So guys aside form that authors note I know you're all waiting to read the next chapter this one is a little shorter then the last but Hermione centric shows us a little bit in where her mind set is right now but I hope the ending gives you all a little bit more hope for whats in store for our girls..but with out furhter adieu on to the next chapter of the Martyr and as always everyone...

1) the song used in this chapter is I'm Not Okay-Citizen Soldier

2) remember that the bold brackets [ ] signify background/montage music

3) if you see the bold brackets with bold quotation marks inside [" ", then the music/song is being played/sung by a character as well as being used as background/montage music.

4) If you see regular quotation marks " " then the song is being sung or can be heard by the characters

5) If there is nohing around the lyrics then the sound is being used as background noise but the characters can still hear it

6) Lyrics will always be in italics

( If that was a confusing explanation then well hopefully when you get to the part where the song is used you'll understand what i said, also if you haven't heard the song check it out but i'm sure the words will kind of already give you a feel of the mood and tone of things.)

Read,Review, Enjoy \(.)/


Chapter 74: As Above …(Part II)


Unable to sleep Hermione sat up in her bed with a sigh, looking around the darken room spotting Noctis sleeping by the window she rubbed at her eyes tiredly. Getting up Hermione put on a cloak humming at the warmth that enfolded her and stepped into the cold night…No moon shone tonight and the witch moved to lean against the railing of the balcony. The city was quiet a far cry from when first arriving at least then she could focus on the bustling night life instead of her thoughts.

Running a hand through messy curls she looked up to the starlit sky, "I—Are you watching?…" she asked softly…the stars seemed dimmed ever since the war had started and yet even then when they travled yet Hermione had realized even then Skyler had still watched them when she could.

~ "They aren't as bright as I remember them…" Hermione commented eyes watching the area around them.

"Maybe they are and its just us trying to see them through a different lense."~

Brown eye's then drifted back to the city before her, how were they supposed to rally the people if all they wanted to do is live their lives as best they could even with the circumstances as they are and yet now fear began to grip all of them in a way only few have ever truly dealt with. Even she the brightest witch her age stumped and unable to move forward, though that was is in part due to her own short comings and the ghost that haunt her even now wide awake. It seemed sleep would evade her tonight as well as it had the past few.

[Tonight the monsters in my head are screaming so damn loud

But I built walls so high so they never even make a sound

It's a mask, it's a lie, it's the only home I've ever known

'Cause being who I really am has only left me more alone]

Later on when the sun had finally climbed out of its dark bed Hermione had found herself washed and changed, sitting absently in Marie's study. The open tome that had first taken so much of her interest before lay open but she had not read a single word. Instead her mind had like the days before wandered to things of people no there…to one of the dreams that weigh her down…

~Hermione sat holding her daughter close, taking count of her slowling breaths. Little Jesse unware that her short time in this life coming to it end. The tears sprang from her eyes falling freely the shorter those tiny breaths came and then finally…~

Shaking herself from it she wiped at the tears that had fallen only to hear a clearing throat. Looking to the door she found Reyna in the door way watching silently. "Yes?"

"Jayce called for a meeting. I think we might finally have a plan to defend the city."

Nodding in answer Hermione turned her face back to the open tome in front of her, but she didn't read instead listened to the demigod shuffle for a moment before taking her leave. When the foot falls sounded far enough the witch waved her hand to close and lock the door allowing herself to cry silently and alone.

[I am not okay, and I need you to see it

I have so much to say, and no one to hear it

The reason I keep quiet with so much at stake

I always feel like a burden, let it silence me

You'll never understand why it's so hard to say

I'm not okay]

She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but she wasn't going to be sorry for crying herself into a dreamless slumber. Waking only when the door had burst open followed by an angry Marie yelling. "She's safe Templar, if she didn't want to join us then it's her choice not to."

"Hermione would never miss a meeting, especially if its important to the safety of the people."

"Listen asshole-" Came Jonas' voice and Hermione leapt from her spot on the floor releasing a weak pulse but it enough to everyone's attention.

"What are you all on about?"

"You missed the meeting Hermione." Reyna answered simply.

"Which isn't like you, I was just worried something had happened to you." Bek jumped in stepping forward.

Shaking her head while slapping his hand away Hermione huffed, "Im fine, Im not in any danger here."

"But-"

"Will you please just leave me be…all of you. You were worried I get it but that doesn't mean I'm still not angry with all of you for what you've done."

"Hermione-"

"No just stop it. You all may feel regret for doing it but I will never condone what you did to that creature. Enemy or not no one deserves to go through that." She turned to Jayce and Aaron glaring more at Aaron, "You should know more then anyone else here why I don't condone what you did…and I thought that you felt the same as well."

"We did what was necessary." Jayce replied steadfast holding the witch's gaze.

"How much more do we have to lose before any of you realize there is always another way." She asked looking to all of them.

When no answer came Hermione took that as her moment to leave, shaking her head she stormed out giving a silent apology to Marie for leaving the study a mess. Marie merely smiled in understanding allowing her to go but turned back to the others. "She's right you know. There is always another way"

Exiting Marie's home Hermione whistled for Noctis who squawled back, drifting down from her flight to land on her Mistress' shoulder. "I'm sorry to interrupt your flight…but I'm in need of some company." Noctis nuzzled against her face sensing the state of that Hermione set off for a walk to try and clear her head and calm her emotions.

[I wish I had a scar, had a bruise on the surface any kind of proof

That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse

My life's invisible abuse, I'm either judged or have to hide

The only symptom you can see is I don't wanna be alive]

The next few days Hermione found herself isolating herself from the others, still angry for what they did but also angry with her self for not stopping it. The mixture of emotions though wasn't good as she often found her thoughts drifting back to to ghosts of the past, the day she lost her daughter, the small service held for the infant…how through the entire pregnancy she cried herself to sleep much like now, feeling lonely and abandoned by the one she loves. Though it was a comepletely different reason Skyler is gone now it weighed on her the longer Skyler was away. Hermione never wanted to feel so abandoned and unloved like she did then and though she knows…theres this small part of her that speaks of dark things…of truths she still not ready to face so alone like she is now.

Noctis often kept her company shooing off any of the others that tried to come near save for Marie who did not question or pry but merely checked her state. Perhaps this isn't the time to become engulfed in her problems of doubt and abandon Hermione was just done with pretending, she didn't want to wear the mask she had so carefully crafted for her self years ago…yet only few it seemed really only ever saw that she was indeed wearing it yet these people that have called themselves friends have yet to notice that she has done nothing but worn it. Worn it so much that it was now beginning to crack…

[I am not okay, and I need you to see it

I have so much to say, and no one to hear it

The reason I keep quiet with so much at stake

I always feel like a burden, let it silence me

You'll never understand why it's so hard to say]

Often she wondered if they would understand what she was going though, or would they take the whole tough love approach as she has seen many time. Would they listen or would they just hear? It was strange to her sometimes to think that she has known these people for a while and yet none truly know her…can't see that despite coming back she's still healing still trying to piece back the shattered parts of her formerself. Then again they all have their own worries own struggles to deal with…is it selfish to feel like this at such a time? Or is it the perfect time to break down like she wants to…Not wanting to burden their mission to help and yet can't sit back to take the time needed for herself…or perhaps maybe its her way of not wanting to face the part of herself she's always kept to secret…the part she's only let few see. The part that scares herself sometimes as much as not knowing what to do next.

[I'll never have the words, I can't explain this hell

But what if it kills me if I keep it to myself

To myself]

The nightmares that haunt her are always the same, and though she knows whats coming it still scares her. Sometimes they change somethings happen differently but they always end the same…with her alone, afraid…and abandoned. Only to wake and find herself much in the same state but having to remind herself that she isn't abandoned, maybe alone and afraid but no longer abandoned…but the dark whispers of her her deeper thoughts always haunt her…it makes Hermione wonder briefly if this is what Skyler experiences when hearing the whispers in her head, the voices that speak hidden truths masked by lies.

[I am not okay, and I need you to see it

I have so much to say, and no one to hear it

I'm not okay, I'm not okay

I'm never safe, it's not a phase

If I finally break would you still stay?

Tonight the monsters in my head are screaming so damn loud]

Unable to find sleep the witch gets up to change and wash herself of the sweat that comes from trying to face her demons. Noctis cooed and cawed gentling trying to calm her and Hermione is grateful for it. Moving over to scratch her head she jumps slightly when a book from her desk falls. Sighing she bends to pick it up only to gasp when realizing it to be the journal. Its been a few days since her last entry…

"She must think I've given up…"

Noctis again cooed and crowed as if tell her to open it, "You thinks she's finally read at least one entry?" a soft chirp her only answer. With a somber smile Hermione flipped through only to stop at the latest entry…recognizing the handwriting. Glancing up to Noctis who turned her head in curiousity brown eye's lowered to the written print and read..

Dear Hermione,

I'm here…I'm here and I've read every single entry you've written. It helps, even though it's my fault you didn't know that but it does. I have to admit even now…especially now it surpises me that I'm one of the few you can truly let yourself go to. It's not much and it may not help but I'm here Hermione, willing to listen even when the others aren't.

You're right in that we're so different from who we use to be, and yet the same all at once…but you have to know…you are worthy of Love, worthy of its touch, more so then anyone else I know. You derserve more then I've ever given you and yet…Its me who has to ask how anybody as special as you could ever love some thing like me? You are loved Hermione by a lot of people…even if they cant see you hurting right now…

Ironic…that what we've been feeling is like these tunnels…dark and with out the light its unnerving mostly because we can't see whats ahead until its right in front us. All I've done is brood and read your entries but the last one…it broke me even more to know you feel so alone…It's never wrong for you to feel the way you do…and remembering all our time together you always told me that we never go through things unscathed…we've all been through a lot, escpecially you. I know the feeling of waking up finding you're not there…some nights I find my thoughts wandering to dark possibilties and I hate myself even more for thinking of things like that. Maybe its time we talk about her…about our daughter, about us.

Granted I hadn't known til you told me, even still I… I'm allowed to mourn her too…she was as much a part of me as she was you even if I wasn't there. I don't know what would have happened if I had stayed Hermione, but I do know that you were right if I had just held on to my courage after going back, if I had just stepped through that door…I could have been there to hold you both…to see her for myself for that first and last time…theres no use in what ifs or could have beens though. To be honest Hermione…I was angry with you. Probably just as angry as you were…angry that you had forgotten that I feel too.

You've always held power over me, and the choices I've made after that day…I knew I would lose you indefinitely because of them. Its why I ran that day you found me…looking into your eyes and seeing that hope, but I thought you were still under that potions effects even as a friend…I couldn't…I just couldn't face you not then. Because of that though, I pushed you into someone elses arms…and shattered my own heart… I was already a broken mess and made it worse by doing what I did…it hurt you know…to see you with him, it was only then I realized you weren't…but I thought it was already too late. After seeing you with Bek… When Jenna came I took the easy way out. I hurt you even more because of that. I have such sins Hermione that if I were to turn around and face them…it would kill me…Yet…and yet despite everything…you were the only one who fought for me…despite everything all the hurt you believed in me…still believe in me and at times its something I can't fathom is real…

I guess we've both felt like we're standing on this edge glancing back only to be haunted by our mistakes so we're unable to look forward…instead we look any other way. Only to find each other there…and neither of us wanted to lose the other because of what we've done…and for a while there…I think we did, yet here we are standing at that edge again. Haunted, broken…but looking to each other we feel that hope we thought snuffed out because of whats happened…all we have to do reach out. Even in our state Hermione you've always seen me…I'm sorry I can't be there with you now but I'm here…I'm reaching..

We have a lot to work through…I know we do but your entries they give me hope in us. We might not be as we once were Mi but…maybe that's a good thing…maybe you're right in that we loved each other too soon or maybe it was just a glimpse of the life we were meant to have with out these wars but I know one thing for certain…through out everything that's happened…is that you and me…at least for me is that your love is worth fighting for. And I might be broken…still trying to figure myself out, a lost and confused idiot, with a charming smile and personality who has the tendacy to make stupid choices…but I'd go through it all again…fight through this hell we've found ourselves in right now if it meant coming back to you. It's the one promise I'll keep…because I need you too.

My companion…she told me its ok not to be ok…and she's right, so if you're not ok…then don't be, take the time you need until you are. Everyone else can fuck off to put it plainly…I'll write you again until then be safe hermosa.

Yours Always;

Skyler

(P.S. Do you remember that night on the beach ...when we sat on the Ferris Wheel? I do…I remember what you said. What we talked about)

Not even bothering to wipe the tears that had begun, Hermione turned to the next blank page and began to write…

Dear Skye,

It's hard to believe that our living dream has become a nightmare…and its harder to keep going but…I'll keep dreaming…just please…try not to let go this time… keep the stars in front of us.

~The raven haired girl smiled fondly as she continued to star gaze,"I know nothing with any certainty, but the the sight of the stars makes me dream."

"Thats..."

"Vincent Van Gogh" The brunette blinked a bit surprised causing Skye to laugh lightly, "Hardly what you were expecting wasn't it? After all many say the man had a case of mental illness and his death was a suicide." She nodded before asking,"What do you think?"

"About him or that quote?"

"Both I suppose..."

Hermione leaned back into the seat causing it to rock slightly. "I think the man was a man like any other with hopes and dreams but like many they were shattered...the difference he kept dreaming even when the dream seemed like a nightmare."~


Love it? Hate it? Let me know what you think, until next time ;)