Harry and the Pirates

Chapter 74

Return to Britain

by Technomad

A few days after the Weasleys had left, it was time for Harry and Dudley to go back to Britain. They were talking with Petunia at her office at Bougainvillea Traders. "No, Mum, you needn't worry about our tickets. We took care of that soon after we arrived here."

"How did you do that?" asked Petunia. She bent a stern glare on Harry. "Harry Potter, if you've been meddling with that money your parents left you, I'm going to be very unhappy. I've told you that your uncle left me very well-provided for, and Miss Balalaika can make up any shortfalls! Boys your age can't handle that much money! Who knows what could happen?"

"But, Aunt Petunia," said Harry, "this isn't from my parents' Gringott's vault! I haven't touched that! I've never even had the key to the vault! We made this money ourselves!"

"Are you telling me that your silly little soft-drink business actually made that much money? Can you afford to pay for these tickets?"

"Here's the figures for what we've made. They aren't the latest figures, but they're valid up to the time we left for Thailand." Dudley pulled out some spreadsheets and handed them to his mother. As she began to look them over, Harry and Dudley looked at each other and shared a secretive little grin. They were anticipating Petunia's reaction.

Petunia had worked for Bougainvillea Traders for many years, and for a Singapore bank before that. She could read a spreadsheet very easily. She began looking at the figures, and at first, she couldn't believe her eyes. When she saw the totals at the bottom of the page, her mouth fell open and she felt like the room was spinning around her. She mentally translated the Galleons the goblins had calculated in into British pounds, then American dollars, which were very widely used in Roanapur, and then into Thai baht. Working for an import-export company, she was used to converting currencies in her head, and always had the latest exchange rates at the tip of her fingers. Any way she calculated it, she could hardly believe how much money it was.

"Are…are these figures accurate?" she finally asked, irritated that her voice had gone high and squeaky.

"Sure are, Mum," Dudley said proudly. He and Harry both gave Petunia huge grins. "Gringott's prides themselves on their rigid honesty. Those aren't completely up-to-date…we'll need to check in with Gringott's directly we get back…but they're correct as of when we left Britain."

"We can afford the best tickets back to Britain, Aunt Petunia. And we'll want to give you some of the money. You've been so good to me, raising me and all, that I want to show how much I appreciate it."

"Harry James Potter!" snapped Petunia. "I won't hear of any such thing for a second, do you hear me? I took you in and raised you because it was my duty to my dead sister, but I love you just as much as I do Dudley. I treasure both my boys, and wouldn't trade the time I spend with you for anything in the world. Even money!"

"Even money?" Harry and Dudley were gobsmacked. In Roanapur, valuing anything above money was all but unheard-of.

"Even money! I'll not accept a baht from you, Harry Potter." That said, Petunia came around her desk and hugged both her boys close. "But you're so sweet to want to share this!"

"Of course, Balalaika can have any or all of it if she wants it. She's our employer, and we're part of Hotel Moscow."

"I can have all of what?" asked Balalaika. She had come in just in time to see Petunia hugging her boys. "I know you boys have been playing at business while you're in Britain, but honestly, I don't want or need your pocket money. All of our enterprises are doing very well."

"Take a look at these figures, ma'am," said Petunia, handing the spreadsheets to Balalaika. "That's the money the boys have been making with their soft-drinks business. The figures are in Galleons. Each of them is worth about six and a half dollars US, or five pounds British, or about four hundred rubles."

Balalaika took the papers, began to look them over…and suddenly sat down, her eyes wide with utter shock. "Bozhemoi! You two have a real future at money-making!"

"Of course, ma'am, it's yours if you want. All you need to do is ask, and we can have Gringott's deposit it in Hotel Moscow's accounts here or anywhere." Harry assured her. "You're our boss. Our leader. What we make is yours if you want it or need it." Dudley nodded firmly, backing Harry as he always did.

"No…no…I can't accept this. You made it yourselves, it's yours. You didn't use any of my resources or capital." Balalaika had had her cigar in her hand when she came out, and she took a long, long drag on it to steady herself. "But let me say this: You are both credits to Bougainvillea Trading, and Hotel Moscow. I couldn't be any prouder of you."

"Thank you, ma'am!" Harry and Dudley straightened as though she had just pinned medals on them. "May we be excused? We're going to have to leave today, and we want to say goodbye to Sirius. And take a last walk around Roanapur." They smiled rather sadly. "While we love Britain, this is our home. And you're our boss and always will be."

"You may go, boys. Say hello to Sirius and anybody else we know for me," said Balalaika, abstractedly. After the boys had turned and run out toward Sirius Black's office, the two women looked at each other in wonder.

Balalaika finally broke the silence. "To think that I've wasted so many years of my life, moving contraband about," she said, shaking her head in wonder. "And all this time, the real money was in selling flavored, carbonated sugar water." She smiled slightly. "I could really kick myself!"

"Don't feel bad, ma'am," said Petunia. "They had access to information that you didn't have. And they've told me that when in doubt, they ask themselves 'what would Balalaika do?' and act on what they think you would advise."

Balalaika smiled broadly, a smile that very few people ever saw. "A superior officer, a teacher, cannot ask for a finer accolade." She went into her office, coming out with a bottle of very expensive Russian vodka. "Come, Petunia. Let us drink to our boys, and to their future success."

Once the vodka had been poured, the women touched glasses. "Za Harry ii Dudley! Vostrovya!" they said, as they knocked back the fiery liquor.


Meanwhile, Harry and Dudley were finding out at Sirius' office that Sirius was not in. "Mr. Black is down at the Yellowflag, boys," said the young woman who served as his receptionist. "Shall I tell him you were by?"

"No, Miss Saetang. I'm his godson, and my cousin and I are leaving for Britain today. We'll just go down to the Yellowflag and catch him there." At her raised eyebrow, Harry hastened to explain: "We work for Bougainvillea Traders, so we're used to going there."

"Oh! Have fun!" With that, Miss Saetang picked up the phone, which had just rung, and the boys left the office. It was small, as befit a two-men-and-a-receptionist operation, but neat and well-kept-up.

At the Yellowflag, sure enough, Sirius was sitting at a table, talking quietly with some men from one of the local Thai gangs. At the sight of Harry, though, he broke off the discussion. "Sorry, gentlemen, but my godson and his cousin want to speak with me. They're leaving town to go back to Britain soon. This'll be the last chance I have to talk to them, and I've some news that won't keep."

The Thais nodded politely. The word on the street was that meddling with Sirius Black, even if he seemed to be alone and vulnerable, was an extremely bad idea. Some of the stupider bottom-feeding local thugs had tried it on when he'd first come to town, and his retaliation had rapidly elevated him to the status of "local legend." He was able to charge top prices for his services, and could pick and choose his clientele.

"So, boys, you're about to leave. Come to say goodbye to your old dogfather, Prongslet?" Harry grinned. He liked having Sirius around. He hadn't realized how much he felt the lack of a father in his life until he'd acquired Sirius. Dudley was also happy about the situation, and Harry gladly shared Sirius with his cousin and brother-in-all-but-name.

"We're heading out later today. We've got a ride laid on to Dun Mueang Airport in Bangkok, and from there, first-class tickets to Britain." Harry smiled sadly. "We'll miss you, but we've got school to go to. Magic doesn't learn itself, you know."

"Yes. I wish I could be there, but frankly, I've got so much work, and so much money coming in, that I can't leave here. Percy Weasley will be a big help, and I've got another friend of ours coming to join me."

"Really? Who?"

"Remus Lupin. You know he and I were great friends in school." Sirius winked. "I know all about his 'furry little problem,' as he calls it. That was why the rest of us became Animagi, you know. Werewolves don't attack other animals. Just humans. In animal form, we were perfectly safe with him. We used to join him down in the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. He's why they call it the Shrieking Shack. McGonagall used to take him down there through a tunnel from the Hogwarts grounds. People heard him howling and yelling in there, and thought the place was haunted."

"Good job nobody wanted to go have a look at the noisy ghost," Dudley commented. "Among Muggles, reports of a ghost sighting brings cranks and curious folk crawling out of the woodwork."

"You're right. Looking back, I can't believe some of the risks we took," Sirius admitted ruefully. "Sometimes we'd all get out and go running around the Forbidden Forest and the Hogwarts grounds."

"Bozhemoi!" Harry gasped. "What if you'd come across someone who was just out at night? They could have been killed, or made into a werewolf themselves!"

"You're exactly right, Harry," Sirius said. "All I can say is, we were young, foolish and thought ourselves to be invincible and infallible. And we never did hurt anybody. It was wonderful fun, running under the moon…"

"Well, just make sure to keep Mr. Lupin under control while he's here," Dudley said, giving Sirius a stern look. "The last thing this town needs is an infestation of werewolves."

"Around here, I think werewolves would be redundant," Harry commented. "After seeing Revy Two-Hands in the grip of 'Whitman Fever,' a werewolf just wouldn't be that scary. They might be invulnerable to ordinary bullets, although I'm not sure about that, but once people figure out what they're dealing with, they'd make pretty short work of werewolves. Fire would do it. I wouldn't want to be in the way when someone touches off a 'Dragon's Breath' round."

"You have a point. However, thanks to that potion they developed, Remus can keep his normal mind even when he's in wolf form. The potion costs a lot, but I can cover it. Once he's here and helping me earn, it should be easier."

"If you need help, don't hestitate to ask us," Harry said. He pulled out the Gringott's spreadsheets showing how PD Enterprises was doing. "We've made a bit of money, and you know you can always ask. You're family, and family watches out for each other."

"Oh, boys, I can't take your pocket money…Merlin's beard!" Sirius had first given the papers a casual glance, and when he saw the figures, his eyes all but bulged out of his head and he sat down to read them more carefully. "You've found yourselves a gold mine!"

"Balalaika says that the way to success in business is to find an unfulfilled need and be the only one to supply it," Dudley said. "We found out that the pureblood wizards had never heard of Coca-Cola. We introduced Luna Lovegood to it here, and she adored it so much that we thought we'd try selling it in wizard outlets. Gringott's helped a lot. They made sure that if wizards and witches wanted to buy Coca-Cola, they'd have to come to us. They take a share of the money we make, but we still are rolling in the readies."

"When you're a bit older, once the witches find out just how much money you've made for yourselves, you're going to have them all but crawling out of the walls to try to get you for themselves," Sirius commented. "Being rich doesn't hurt a bit when you're after women. No, it does not!"

Both boys smiled tolerantly. "We grew up here. How could we not know that?" Then they stood. "Look, Sirius, it's been great talking to you, but we've packing yet to do, and our flight leaves from Bangkok tonight. We'll write you once we're in Britain."

"Hang on," Sirius said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of what looked like small shaving mirrors. "These will help us communicate. Just look into it and say my name, or each other's, and you'll be connected. When someone wants to talk to you, it'll vibrate in your pocket." He smiled. "Rather like muggle portable phones, but with a much longer range."

"Thanks, Sirius!" After they exchanged hugs, the boys left, and Sirius got back to his business deal.


When they got to Dun Mueang International Airport, they were met by Percy Weasley. He'd arrived back in Thailand not long after seeing his siblings safely home, and was settling in as Sirius' business partner. "Hi, boys! Sirius said that I should go with you at least to Britain, but I'll be heading back here as soon as may be!" He winked. "Sister Eda'd be unhappy with me if I stayed away too long!"

"We understand completely. Sister Eda's not a good person to disappoint," Harry said, as he and Dudley gave Percy a wink. Harry was curious about how a pureblood like Percy Weasley would handle an experience as completely "Muggle" as flying on an airliner, but he took the whole thing as calmly as though he'd been jetting around the world all his life. Soon all three wizards were strapped into first-class seats aboard a Thai Airways 747, and were watching out the windows as the plane taxied to its runway, to take off for a nonstop flight to Heathrow Airport in Britain.

The flight was uneventful, which suited all three of them completely. Percy had apparently been comprehensively briefed on what to expect, so at least he didn't attract attention by asking questions that revealed his lack of experience with the Muggle world. When they got to Britain, they breezed easily through HM Customs, and found that they were being met by the Grangers.

"Mr and Mrs Granger! Hermione! So good to see you!" Hermione flew at Harry and Dudley, hugging them both, and then gave Percy a hug, too. Percy blushed a bit, but hugged her right back.

"I can't believe you're going to stay on in Thailand, Percy! I'm so happy for you!" bubbled Hermione, as they headed toward the main entrance. "I loved every minute I spent there! Miss Balalaika was so encouraging about my studies! She said that with my drive and intelligence, I could be anything I wanted to be!"

"Sounds like Balalaika," Dudley commented. In Russian, he went on: "Have you been keeping up your Russian studies, Hermione?"

"Of course!" Hermioine answered in the same language. At her parents' and Percy's puzzled looks, she explained: "He was asking me how my Russian is going…in Russian."

"Our Hermione is now quite fluent!" said Mrs. Granger proudly. "She was asked to help guide some Russian visitors around, and they said that they could hardly believe she wasn't a native Russian speaker!"

Harry and Dudley both smiled. "That's wonderful, Hermione! Balalaika would be so pleased!" Hermione glowed with pleasure.


Soon, the boys from Roanapur were settling into a room at the Leaky Cauldron. A Floo call put them in touch with the Weasleys, and they were soon talking to Ron and Ginny. "Glad to see you're back in Britain! Percy just arrived, and he's packing up all his gear so he can move to Thailand!" Ron said. "Mum's alternating between being really proud of him, and blubbering about 'losing her baby.' She took it hard when Bill and Charlie got jobs that kept them out of Britain."

"Mums are like that," Dudley said, with the assurance born of knowledge. "When we first left for Hogwarts, Mum was in tears. It hurt us to leave her, but she knew we had to go."

"Once Percy's settled in, Mum and Dad may want to come out and visit him. We can afford it, thanks to PD Enterprises, and our parents have never been to Asia."

"A word to the wised-up," Harry said. "Best keep this reunion in Bangkok. And, for Merlin's sake, do not let your parents stay at any hotel with the word 'Nana' in the name!" Dudley nodded fervently. While they were used to the presence of the Thai sex trade, and not shocked by it, they knew that running up against it unexpectedly could have bad effects on the unprepared. Particularly sweet old dears who didn't know such a thing existed!

"Did you know the Quidditch World Cup's in Britain this year?" asked Ron. "Dad's got tickets, and we're all going!"

"No! I hadn't heard!" Harry replied. "Are there still tickets available?"

"Better than that! We've got enough extras that we can take you and Dudley along as well! Be here in a week, and we'll all go to the game together!"

"That's wonderful! What should we bring?"

"Just yourselves. We've enough supplies for all, and tent space is no problem. I don't think you've ever seen wizarding tents, but they're much bigger on the inside than the outside." Ron grinned. "They compare favorably to Muggle houses."

"Sounds cool! We'll be there! Can Hermione come, too?"

"Of course! The more, the merrier!"